Anyone else dislike the sign of peace?

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Deacon Ed:
Well, I guess people that hate the sign of peace should be grateful they aren’t Eastern Catholics. We have the kiss of peace! And, of course, the sign of peace is part of the ancient liturgies and was, somehow, lost from the Mass.
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Father Deacon Ed,
It is my understanding that the Kiss of Pease in the Divine Liturgy is only shared among the clergy. At least this is how it is done in the Ruthenian, Ukrainian, and Melkite Divine Liturgies that I have attended.
 
Deacon Ed:
Well, I guess people that hate the sign of peace should be grateful they aren’t Eastern Catholics. We have the kiss of peace! And, of course, the sign of peace is part of the ancient liturgies and was, somehow, lost from the Mass.

I have no problem with it and, in fact, recognize the Scriptural admonition behind it: “Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there recall that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there at the altar, go first and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

How can we claim to be part of the Body of Christ if we aren’t at peace with one another?

Deacon Ed
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Good Morning Church
I will do my best not to get silly. Sometimes it is really hard.
Maybe you have to get to be an old grandma before you quit sweating the small things, eh?

Anyway, the way Deacon Ed explains this, the scriptural admonition, is exactly the way I was taught. This is, in a way, symbolic of having made peace in any situation that would prevent you from receiving Jesus. But the Priest also speaks the words, “My Peace I…” The words of Jesus, handed on to us.

For those who worry about “catching something” from someone, do you pass up the cup as well. Imagine catching something from a vessel holding Jesus? I would believe that while being immersed in His Grace so much, His shed blood would protect us.
One hint about catching something from the cup, that is the best reason I know to sit in the front pew. Get up there first and let everyone worry about catching something from you.
 
The sign of peace among the congregation is optional. The priest does not have to say, “Now let us offer one another a sign of peace.”

At St. Thomas More in Manhattan, where I attend daily Mass, it is frequently omitted, much to my relief (like White Dove, I am also English and Dutch, so I suffer from a deficit of huggy-feely).

I don’t mind a ritualized gesture, but this “hey, Buddy, how about dem Yankees!” action with people crossing the aisles (now reprobated by Redemptionis Sacramentum) really bothers me.

As for fostering better “community,” I don’t buy it. I pass the peace to the same person who sits behind me every Sunday at Mass and neither he nor I know the other’s name. I wanted to ask him once at the end of Mass, but he had left before the end of the hymn. Oops. I mean “sending song.”
 
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ByzCath:
Father Deacon Ed,
It is my understanding that the Kiss of Pease in the Divine Liturgy is only shared among the clergy. At least this is how it is done in the Ruthenian, Ukrainian, and Melkite Divine Liturgies that I have attended.
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David,

It is, correctly, shared between members of the same “rank.” Thus, concelebrating priests will share the kiss among themselves, deacons will share it between themselves and the laity will share it between themselves. I realize that not all parishes do this, but it is what is *supposed *to be done. It’s how we do it in my Melkite parish.

Deacon Ed
 
I can live with it but in many cases it does seemed forced and artificial. Depends on the make up of people at the Mass. Sorta reminds me of an old time Methodist revival. One of those Protestant things they have introduced into the New Mass.
 
More than likely just one more thing the Protestants have stolen from us.

You would be absolutely surprised how many thing that would be, starting with the Bible.

Some folks forget, we came first!
 
Deacon Ed:
David,

It is, correctly, shared between members of the same “rank.” Thus, concelebrating priests will share the kiss among themselves, deacons will share it between themselves and the laity will share it between themselves. I realize that not all parishes do this, but it is what is *supposed *to be done. It’s how we do it in my Melkite parish.

Deacon Ed
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Father Deacon Ed,
This is what I thought but it is not how it is practiced in my Church, that is the Byzantine (Ruthenian) Catholic Church.

I have attended a couple of Liturgies at our seminary (and hope to be a seminarian there someday soon) and it is not done that way there. If they do not teach it in our seminary then it will not ever become general usage. Maybe this is a Ruthenian thing though…
 
Since it is optional, our pastor has decided to omit it. This is fine with me. Our parish is small and when we have a visiting priest it seems that people don’t want to stop until they have kissed or shaken hands with everyone else in the church.

I attend daily Mass at other parishes sometimes and people go all the way across to give the sign of peace to everyone they know. This seems clique-ish to me since visitors aren’t greeted this way.

Some parishes have tried to reign it in but making statements about “only those immediately around you” but I don’t know any where this has worked. 😦
 
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ByzCath:
Father Deacon Ed,
This is what I thought but it is not how it is practiced in my Church, that is the Byzantine (Ruthenian) Catholic Church.

I have attended a couple of Liturgies at our seminary (and hope to be a seminarian there someday soon) and it is not done that way there. If they do not teach it in our seminary then it will not ever become general usage. Maybe this is a Ruthenian thing though…
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David,

I will hold you in my prayers as you discern your calling!

While we do what is supposed to be done, many parishes do not. I don’t think it’s a Ruthenian thing but, rather, part of the reaction to de-Latinization. It may be that because the Latins do it the Easterns will not. Yet, it is, and always has been, a part of our Byzantine tradition. I cannot speak to the non-Byzantine Eastern Churches in this matter.

Deacon Ed
 
I find it distracting especially right after the consecration. Fortunately at my parish there is no sign of peace among the congregation. Only between the people and the priest. :blessyou:
 
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WhiteDove:
I feel like a crudgemugen, but I always sort of dread that part of the Mass. …the whole thing reminds me of my mother forcing me kiss someone or be friendly.

Anyone else feel this way???
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Yes. It’s the same sanitized pap one expects from modern churches. A handshake, for heaven’s sake! Crawling over the pews to grab the hand of someone you don’t know at all and will likely never see again. We don’t do this in a restaurant, so why in church? Handshaking is a social act, not a liturgical one. Another invention of the folks who gave us ugly churches, absurd crucifixes, liturgical dance and inaccurate translations.
 
The sign of peace always seems to break into the Mass…it sort of jars, you know? Just when you are getting “into” what is going on, you are jolted into a noisey, sometimes boisterous “peacing”…

**I have always thought that the Sign of Peace could be done…if at all…at the beginning of the Mass, so it would not disrupt the Mass itself. **
 
I am fine with the significance of the handshake, but there is the infrequent person directly in front of you who ignores you, no smile or handshake. So you learn who they are and sit elsewhere if it bothers you. It is a small complaint.

I love going down the line of an entire family behind me and shaking all the kids hands, some bold, some shy.
 
I really have mixed feelings about this, but ever since I ready about it some years ago I have felt better.

I am a bit shy by nature (although those who know me or have seen “courageous” moments have NO IDEA that I put up a front for social reasons. Anyway, I was always uncomfortable about this part of the Mass.

I learned through reading scripture myself, and then finding the connection to the Sign of Peace that it is very much based in scripture. I’m sorry I don’t remember the passage, but I know good Catholics and Protestants alike will likely recognize it.

I believe it is from the gospels.

If one has a gift to bring up to the altar and remembers he has an issue with his brother, he needs to set the gift aside and become reconciled with his brother before making his offering.

We are called to the same thing. How many of us (and from reading posts, I KNOW there are many) become annoyed with people around us during the Mass? It is easy to stay isolated and think our thoughts and judgments surrounding some people…but when forced to look them in the eye, take their hand and offer peace, if our hearts are in the right place forgiveness falls into place.

By that passage and the teaching, I take it to mean that if we have anger or annoyance in our hearts, we should not approach the alter as we are offering ourselves, body mind and spirit, to accept the Holy Eucharist.

I, too, have felt EXTREMELY isolated and alone at Mass, almost every Sunday, as people around me greet each other and I stand there, looking around.

It has taught me that should I ever have someone with me, I should look for those who are alone…and offer them Peace before those I know and love. Sometimes it’s the people who are alone who have the most need of a hand extended to them.

That, my good friends, is the real reason behind the tradition. How are you living up to this? What will you take away from this conversation? Will you go on disliking the Sign, or are you willing to step out of your box and extend your hand to someone who really needs to experience the love of Christ?

The Eucharist is not about us…it is about Jesus and living up to his example. The Sign of Peace isn’t absolutely about our own reconciliation with our “brothers and sisters” but about showing the love of Christ in spite of our own reservations.
 
I am so amazed to see that, most of you don’t like the sign of peace. I will agree with the Deacon Ed had first wrote. I love the sign of peace. It brings me closer to God as he said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” To me, a sign of peace is about forgiveness of one another. If you don’t forgive, you can’t receive Jesus because, he has forgiven you for your sins. To be honest, I don’t mind either way. I can either shake hands, or hug. In my parents country, everybody bows, especially the priest. They’re Vietnamese. To me, I’m use to the American Culture. Either way, it is to show affection and forgiveness. Even though, that person hasn’t done anything wrong to you. I got a confession to make on the sign of peace. I’m a male and, I prefer hugging the females more while giving the sign of peace. Yeah, me being a bad Catholic. I don’t mind giving males hugs but, I’m not use to it. But anyway, that’s my own opinion.
Code: 
                                                                You Are Loved,
                                                                      Anthony
 
RE: the Sign of Peace

First, I don’t mind the gesture, but I don’t feel it helps our parish members get to know each other in any meaningful way. In fact, all the kissing and hugging among family members more likely makes the people by themselves at Mass feel isolated as they wait for all the family members to finish with each other.

As was pointed out earlier, it is optional. When I was in England earlier this summer, it was omitted in 2 out of 3 Masses I attended. When it was included, it was pretty much all head nods. Shaking hands would have been unusually demonstrative. I have also seen it omitted in some daily masses here in my diocese.

When it’s obvious that I’ve had a handshake of peace with someone who has been coughing/sneezing, I’ve sometimes decided to receive on the tongue (not the norm for me in my regular parish)as there is no way to discreetly cleanse your hands between the sign of peace and receiving the Eucharist.
 
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JCPhoenix:
I really have mixed feelings about this, but ever since I ready about it some years ago I have felt better.

I am a bit shy by nature (although those who know me or have seen “courageous” moments have NO IDEA that I put up a front for social reasons. Anyway, I was always uncomfortable about this part of the Mass.

I learned through reading scripture myself, and then finding the connection to the Sign of Peace that it is very much based in scripture. I’m sorry I don’t remember the passage, but I know good Catholics and Protestants alike will likely recognize it.

I believe it is from the gospels.

If one has a gift to bring up to the altar and remembers he has an issue with his brother, he needs to set the gift aside and become reconciled with his brother before making his offering.

We are called to the same thing. How many of us (and from reading posts, I KNOW there are many) become annoyed with people around us during the Mass? It is easy to stay isolated and think our thoughts and judgments surrounding some people…but when forced to look them in the eye, take their hand and offer peace, if our hearts are in the right place forgiveness falls into place.

By that passage and the teaching, I take it to mean that if we have anger or annoyance in our hearts, we should not approach the alter as we are offering ourselves, body mind and spirit, to accept the Holy Eucharist.

I, too, have felt EXTREMELY isolated and alone at Mass, almost every Sunday, as people around me greet each other and I stand there, looking around.

It has taught me that should I ever have someone with me, I should look for those who are alone…and offer them Peace before those I know and love. Sometimes it’s the people who are alone who have the most need of a hand extended to them.

That, my good friends, is the real reason behind the tradition. How are you living up to this? What will you take away from this conversation? Will you go on disliking the Sign, or are you willing to step out of your box and extend your hand to someone who really needs to experience the love of Christ?

The Eucharist is not about us…it is about Jesus and living up to his example. The Sign of Peace isn’t absolutely about our own reconciliation with our “brothers and sisters” but about showing the love of Christ in spite of our own reservations.
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Thank you for this wonderful post. This was the best post I have read on this topic.
 
Well, just for the record, I’m very friendly during the sign of peace, FYI. I’ll have you know that I enthusiastically shake everyone’s hands and warmly greet them, even if I don’t like it! :eek:
 
John

14:27. Peace I leave with you: my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, do I give unto you.

The sign of Christ’s Peace is the correct terminology for what we do, for we greet each othe with the words, “May the Peace of Christ be with you.”

We are not trying to get acquainted at this point in the Holy Mass. We are conveying to each other that we are of the Body of Christ and that His Peace be in our hearts so our Holy Communion will truly be one in the Lord and that our mind is now set on receiving the Author of Peace, Jesus into our body and soul.

We must remember that this is an optional part of the Holy Mass and therefore If we don’t give it, we complete it very simply with the Priest when he says to all of us “May the Peace of Christ be with you”, and we answer “and also with you”.

Any reconciliation with our brother should be done before we come to Holy Mass or we will not find Christ’s Peace, and We will be hypocrites when we say the Our Father and yet don’t forgive our brother. In The Gospel according to St. Mathew we read:
**6:14. For if you will forgive men their offences, your

heavenly Father will forgive you also your offences.

6:15. But if you will not forgive men, neither will your

Father forgive you your offences

So this part of the Mass is totally focused on turning our mind to Christ in His Mystical Body and Christ in the Holy Eucharist! May Christ present in the Blessed Sacrament grant you all, His Peace. For without His Peace, we can offer no one real Peace!
**
 
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krazykatlady:
As a nurse, I am really into disease prevention and one of the main principles is you don’t shake hands with someone and then eat without washing your hands. It goes against everything I’ve been taught. It really makes me uncomfortable to shake hands with someone who has been sneezing and blowing their nose and then go take Communion. I have no problem with shaking hands and being friendly, I just want to be able to wash my hands afterwards, before I eat.
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Originally, I was both aesthetically and hygienically opposed to this, but my understanding of the early Church was that they kissed each other ON THE MOUTH rather than shaking hands, and I was fearful that eventually some purist would push for that. So, I used Purell right after shaking, and felt like an obsessive-compulsive.

Fortunately, during a pilgrimage to the Holy Land a few years ago we were strongly encouraged to receive on the tongue, and since then, I’ve never gone back to receiving in the hand. I have noticed recently that other priests on the altar all receive on the tongue (at least those I see - and not necessarily deacons); moreover, when I do notice people receiving in the hand it looks clumsy, frequently with MAJOR irreverence, and almost no one eats the Host while in the sight of the priest WHICH IS REQUIRED!.

Only exceptions: When I have a cold I don’t shake hands, but I do receive in the hand…that’s very, very seldom.

Also: I think the placement in the Mass of this business is sacriligious.

Think tongue and God Bless, 🙂

Anna
 
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