Appropriate Dress For Women

[Ashurie]

I sew many of mine. That said, keep an eye out in the spring. If the wonderful fashion geniuses behind peasant skirts are back, you may be able to pick some up easily. Those are usually at least mid-calf in length and have the additional bonus of being light and breezy for summer wear. I find them more comfortable than pants when it’s horridly hot.

Another GREAT place to look is at resale shops. Some of my FAVORITE pieces come from there! Don’t just look for skirts - also take a peek at the curtains, large tablecloths, and sheets. Often with a few quick stitches those old linens can be quickly transformed into skirts. Two options there - for a long skirt you can use the portion where the fabric is folded over at the top to run a drawstring through. Then just cut to length and size and sew 1 seam and a new hem. You can also avoid the second seam by creating a wraparound skirt using a similar method. Both are SUPER simple.

HTH!

We are in the Spring here in Australia, I might have a look around again, and in thrift shops too…

LOL I need to invest in a sewing machine!! I used to use my mum’s when I lived at home to make odd things

 

[HAnne]

We are in the Spring here in Australia, I might have a look around again, and in thrift shops too…

LOL I need to invest in a sewing machine!! I used to use my mum’s when I lived at home to make odd things

If you can sew a straight seam, you can make a skirt. They’re actually the easiest things on earth to make. I LOVE them! If you google “Free Skirt Pattern” you’ll find literally 100’s of patterns online you can adapt to your needs and create straight off the computer!

Believe it or not, the first 10-15 skirts I made were hand sewn. If you pick a pattern with 1-2 seams it’s very easy to create by hand.

Watch resales for sewing machines too!!!

 

[spunjalebi]

To clear things up before it gets any further, I would like to mention this: (look at September 14th, 2006)

canonlaw.info/blogarch06.htm

Wearing a headcovering is about an individual woman’s convictions about modesty and her own respect for God, and if she chooses to veil everyday all the time that is between her and God.

I have no problems with a woman who wants to wear clothes in the Islamic fashion, which to be honest is quite varied. I have seen Islamic girls wearing the traditional abaya, I have seen Islamic girls wearing tops with skirts, and I have seen Islamic girls wearing layered tops with jeans and still look modest. My concern with a Christian who adopts the Islamic style of dress is unintended misrepresentation.

Suppose I wore clothing like that and went into a Burger King or fast food place. And then suppose I ordered something with bacon in it-- now what happens? Am I giving off the impression that I am an Islamic who now eats pork, which is expressively forbidden? And then, do I make sure that I let people know that I am a Catholic instead of an Islamic, so there’s no need to wonder? If I were personally in that situation, I would not want to give confusing messages and would not wear clothing which is normally Islamic. But that does not mean I would advocate for immodesty.

I am wondering where this hairstyle immodesty is coming from? In another thread a poster commented on how he disliked seeing “long flowing blonde hair” at Mass. I find that so ridiculous as many Christians will debate for hours about how women should not be allowed to cut their hair, yet we’re not supposed to display it either? Seriously where does that leave women?

Now if your hair is down your back which is being exposed in some way, then okay I see your point. When my hair was long-- very, very long-- in the past I would always dress modestly to church and wear it down. People after Mass would comment to me about how nice they thought it was. There was a time where I considered not showing any of my hair because I didn’t want to be a distraction. Then one day I was told it was “my crown of glory,” so I think I’ll be okay in that respect.

And I do believe the current fashion trend with jeggings is strange and sort of wrong. Lol. Leggings should be worn with a longer sweater or top, or with a dress or a skirt. Not as actual jeans, hence “jeggings.”

I do like my skinny jeans, but they are the correct size (if not a size bigger). Not to mention guys and girls wear the style. and of course I wear these jeans with longer tops, but I wear most jeans with longer tops, along with skirts with longer tops.

You deliberately confused sexual fetishization with normal, God-given sexual desire, a typical female strategy women use to avoid taking responsibility for the effect of their bodies on men.

I sincerely doubt she deliberately made that confusion. She is just pointing out that certain things which are non-sexual-- such as hair-- should not be confused with those that are sexual, and if they are it’s fetishism. Misery’sFence is actually quite modest, as I have seen some of her pictures and posts on this issue and I don’t think she’s trying to not take responsibility.

It’s true-- guys have a normal desire to see a woman’s chest, behind, and other areas And it’s true that as women, we should cover them up. The caveat I believe she was trying to imply, was that sometimes women who do cover up and don’t wear tight clothes still somehow have an affect on men but that is where the responsibility of those men need to come in. Anyway, at least that’s my interpretation of what she was trying to say.

 

[CradleCath]

I think wanting to dress well is not vanity. As with ALL things, middle of the road is good. I have no desire to wear a burlap sack nor a mini skirt. 'Nough said.

I have TONS of clothes - unfortunately most of them are not appropriate anymore and I am in a season of cleansing out my closet. Part of me wants to pass them on to others in need…the other part wonders if I should pass on items that are not really appropriate for wear…but I digress.

My current streak of “vanity” is in trying to find a dress for my Convalidation and Confirmation which will also occur over my son’s First Communion and Confirmation…hunting…hunting…

WOW!! That will be a very special day & you’ll need a very special dress. Will this be in the spring??

 

[kozlosap]

This by far is the most civil and loving conversation I’ve seen on this subject in months!! What a nice way to start off my Sunday. From what I remember, before the mid sixties, most women did not veil, they wore hats! I’m from Northern California and unless I was at a Latino Parish, I never saw mantillas. You would see very small lace hankies that you pinned on top of your head, but mostly hats. If you were in a real hurry, teenagers would take a kleenex and pin it on. I would imagine that you might have seen veils and mantillas in parishes that served Polish communities too in Chicago and the midwest. I think it should be up to the person if they would like to veil or not since it is not required by the Church anymore. It is none of anyone’s business at Mass if you are covered. Let the busybodies try and figure out your motivation - they will talk for weeks!

 

[CradleCath]

This by far is the most civil and loving conversation I’ve seen on this subject in months!! What a nice way to start off my Sunday. From what I remember, before the mid sixties, most women did not veil, they wore hats! I’m from Northern California and unless I was at a Latino Parish, I never saw mantillas.

You’re right. You are bringing back memories of my Mothers closet. There on a shelf near the top stood about 3 -4 hat boxes, one for each season. I, born in 1941, do not remember when I didn’t have either a bonnet, a scarf, or a hat. You kind of graduated into each one as you grew older. When I graduated from 8th grade I got my first real hat…from the hat shop I mean. WOW, I had become a woman. The ONLY time I saw a veil (mantilla) was at school. We had daily Mass in a chapel within the school & the nuns kept white veils for us to wear. They were kept in the vestibule of the chapel & you took one before you entered. That would probably bring in the health dept. searching for head lice today…but, wonder of wonders, that was never a problem at my school.

You would see very small lace hankies that you pinned on top of your head, but mostly hats. If you were in a real hurry, teenagers would take a kleenex and pin it on. I would imagine that you might have seen veils and mantillas in parishes that served Polish communities too in Chicago and the midwest. I think it should be up to the person if they would like to veil or not since it is not required by the Church anymore. It is none of anyone’s business at Mass if you are covered. Let the busybodies try and figure out your motivation - they will talk for weeks!

 

[HAnne]

WOW!! That will be a very special day & you’ll need a very special dress. Will this be in the spring??

Yes, it will be a VERY special day for our family!!! I really like this one…but am debating on it. Make it myself, pay them to make it…etc. I love the design!!! My veil for the whole “shindig” is hopefully going to be a layer of Chantilly Lace from my mother’s wedding gown…still waiting to find out if that’s a possibility or not from her. If not, I’m going to make an heirloom mantilla for our family.

 

[spunjalebi]

My question is, I’ve heard many women say that they ALWAYS wear pants…that they are more comfortable. I don’t find that to be true, so maybe someone can tell me just WHY they find them more comfortable???

I personally find pants/jeans to be comfortable because I don’t have to really worry about movement. For instance, I can walk fast around campus, ride a bike, go up stairs and rough terrain in pants/jeans, that I can’t with skirts. Not to mention, I’ve worn skirts to my knees and have had issues with the wind pushing them up and I would quickly recover to avoid a Marilyn Monroe-like fiasco (it would be a fiasco with me).

I understand that everyone has very different experiences with this. Where I live, when you wear a skirt or a dress, men look at you a lot more versus when you are wearing pants and jeans. I am uncomfortable with the looks, even before I was married. And I had to wear nice clothes for work, which often consisted of a nice top or blouse with a skirt down to my knees. It doesn’t seem to matter how lady-like you look. In fact, the more lady-like you look, and the more modest, the more men pay attention! I have seen men give quick glances at the girl who is wearing a skimpy skirt and longer looks at a woman who is dressed nicely wearing a longer skirt or even a dress.

I personally would like to wear skirts and dresses more often, believe me. But I don’t like rude behavior either. So it’s not just about my bodily comfort, but it’s also about my own personal comfort.

 

[HAnne]

I understand that everyone has very different experiences with this. Where I live, when you wear a skirt or a dress, men look at you a lot more versus when you are wearing pants and jeans. I am uncomfortable with the looks, even before I was married. And I had to wear nice clothes for work, which often consisted of a nice top or blouse with a skirt down to my knees. It doesn’t seem to matter how lady-like you look. In fact, the more lady-like you look, and the more modest, the more men pay attention! I have seen men give quick glances at the girl who is wearing a skimpy skirt and longer looks at a woman who is dressed nicely wearing a longer skirt or even a dress.

I personally would like to wear skirts and dresses more often, believe me. But I don’t like rude behavior either. So it’s not just about my bodily comfort, but it’s also about my own personal comfort.

I’ve had VERY similar experiences. If I wear a conservative sweater, mid-calf length skirt, a chiffon scarf on my head, and low heels with my hair and nails done you’d think I was the only woman in a room!!! My husband works in an all male environment - I can tell you right now that showing up in jeans, sneakers, and a t-shirt with a ponytail gets FAR less attention…even when carrying baked goods!

Two years ago I came straight from Christmas Midnight Mass to drop off a midnight breakfast for 3rd shift dressed exactly as described above (skirt version). You would have thought I arrived in a mini skirt and tube top!

 

[spunjalebi]

Oh gosh, I know where you are coming from. And I feel like it’s such a poor excuse to not dress more feminine, though I have seen many feminine outfits which involve pants, hence Indian clothes.

I can remember when I used to take night classes at my university and would walk back to my car. When it was spring time and getting warmer, I would wear knee length skirts with a conservative t-shirt or blouse, and I’d get whistles from guys It didn’t make me feel safe at times. I learned quickly to park in the same lot as my husband did at the time (we were dating).

I think those problems tend to be more reflective of the fact that our society in general, doesn’t know how to dress. It depends where you’re from as well. I can recall how after my family and I moved to where we are now, my mother lamented on the poor standards of dress. I can remember in elementary school, showing up for pictures wearing a jean skirt and top (it was the '90’s) for pictures and all people did was scold me for “dressing up” and how the pictures were meant to be informal. Nowhere in the picture package information did it say any such thing. And for goodness sakes, I was 12 years old. Forgive me if my fashion sense started at a young age:shrug:

 

[HAnne]

I can remember when I used to take night classes at my university and would walk back to my car. When it was spring time and getting warmer, I would wear knee length skirts with a conservative t-shirt or blouse, and I’d get whistles from guys It didn’t make me feel safe at times. I learned quickly to park in the same lot as my husband did at the time (we were dating).

Long ago I learned that lesson. Park in well lit areas and don’t be afraid to give a smile to the security guard on the way out. When I used to work retail I had some of the guys walk me to the car every night. We had to “dress” for work but it made me absolutely paranoid because we’d had “issues” with some people in the parking lot after hours who didn’t belong there.

I think those problems tend to be more reflective of the fact that our society in general, doesn’t know how to dress. It depends where you’re from as well. I can recall how after my family and I moved to where we are now, my mother lamented on the poor standards of dress. I can remember in elementary school, showing up for pictures wearing a jean skirt and top (it was the '90’s) for pictures and all people did was scold me for “dressing up” and how the pictures were meant to be informal. Nowhere in the picture package information did it say any such thing. And for goodness sakes, I was 12 years old. Forgive me if my fashion sense started at a young age:shrug:

That’s crazy. I was almost always overdressed when I was young. Sometimes underdressed - but that’s because my motherly love of plaid fleece and flannel pants started very early and I’d wear them instead of a skirt to school and then hang out for awhile being comfy before changing…lol Other than that, I loved my skirts and feminine outfits. From day to day wear to prom I generally outdressed everyone else. It wasn’t on purpose. I grew up in a conservative Italian family and there were standards to be met. My friends and classmates just didn’t have that problem!

 

[spunjalebi]

I grew up in a conservative Indian family and I know where you’re coming from. There were definitely standards, but after we moved they had to be modified because us kids had to contend with things like gym class, outdoor activities, etc. We couldn’t always wear nice clothes, skirts, or dresses all the time. My mother even threw a fit when a teacher told her my brother couldn’t show up to school wearing dress shoes all the time. Needless to say, my mother termed the state we live in a “hick state”… We came from a state on the east coast which is typically more posh when it comes to dress.

 

[HAnne]

I grew up in a conservative Indian family and I know where you’re coming from. There were definitely standards, but after we moved they had to be modified because us kids had to contend with things like gym class, outdoor activities, etc. We couldn’t always wear nice clothes, skirts, or dresses all the time. My mother even threw a fit when a teacher told her my brother couldn’t show up to school wearing dress shoes all the time. Needless to say, my mother termed the state we live in a “hick state”… We came from a state on the east coast which is typically more posh when it comes to dress.

I’m from a nearby “hick state” originally (Illinois) - but near the city so posh was the last thing we were lacking. lol

Now I’m in a far more “hick state” than you - Montana. Anything that isn’t denim or made by Wrangler or Carhartt seems to be automatically suspect…roflol

 

[spunjalebi]

Haha

As far as appropriate dress, what bugs me sometimes is when people imply that certain clothes are inappropriate for women to be dressing, and it’s quite contradictory to what you would initially believe. For instance, I have actually met people who came from conservative Christian families yet were taught (as girls/women) that wearing certain clothes, such as skirts, meant you were trying to advertise something because “only w-words wear that stuff.” How appropriate is it to push androgyny on young girls and women, when that is inappropriate? I’ve met women who never wore skirts or dresses in their lives because that’s how they were taught. That seems rather sad to me, and leaves very little options.

 

[HAnne]

Haha

As far as appropriate dress, what bugs me sometimes is when people imply that certain clothes are inappropriate for women to be dressing, and it’s quite contradictory to what you would initially believe. For instance, I have actually met people who came from conservative Christian families yet were taught (as girls/women) that wearing certain clothes, such as skirts, meant you were trying to advertise something because “only w-words wear that stuff.” How appropriate is it to push androgyny on young girls and women, when that is inappropriate? I’ve met women who never wore skirts or dresses in their lives because that’s how they were taught. That seems rather sad to me, and leaves very little options.

I’ve never been a major fan of extremism - in ANY form.

Allow me to lay out two scenarios:

1. A little girl is sitting in a chair on her porch. She lives across the street from a park and can see the children over there playing and having a wonderful time. She is dressed in a “pretty dress” with dress shoes and her hair in little ribbons. She looks adorable. What she REALLY wants, is to go play with the kids across the street - but Mom says no because the way they are playing isn’t “appropriate” for little girls.
2. A little girl is walking through the supermarket with her mother. She’s in jeans, a blue plain tshirt, and sneakers. In the interest of androgyny, she has a short, pixie haircut. A woman walks up to her mother and they start chatting in the line at the check out. She makes the comment, “Oh - what a sweet little boy you have there! He’s so well behaved!!!”

There HAS to be middle ground. I’ve been the girl in scenario #1. It stunk. The only time I got to “go play and have fun” was when I was at my grandparent’s for the weekend and away from my Italian relatives. I have friends who lived in scenario #2. It also stunk. A girl is a girl and wishes to be treated as such.

Why do we have such a difficult time as a society allowing children to be themselves? If a little girl wants to wear a dress and be pretty now for Church and then go home and throw on jeans and go romp in the fall leaves with her brothers why is that a huge issue?

I’m a woman. I’m very GLAD God made me one. This week, I will likely:

wear a dress/skirt to Church, Bible Study, CCD, and Sacramental Prep w. my son.
wear a Boy Scout uniform to Scouts
wear jeans and an old sweatshirt helping my husband fix our broken Jeep.
wear pajama pants while hanging out at home.
keep my nails done because it makes me feel pretty while fixing the Jeep.
wear jeans and a blaze orange parka while going hunting with my husband (I’m the spotter).
wear an apron while making dinner and cleaning and a pair of sneakers while doing laundry due to 3 flights of stairs.

NONE of these things make me less or more a woman.

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” Psalms 139:14

 

[spunjalebi]

You are very correct on so many levels. I too, have been the little girl in #1 except I would hang out with other little girls in that same boat, usually relatives. But it sure was awkward trying to run wearing dainty little Mary Janes!

I agree, there has to be a moderate and modest middle ground. What I have noticed is this pervasive extremism that doesn’t do anyone favors, nor is it part of Catholic teaching.

 

[HAnne]

You are very correct on so many levels. I too, have been the little girl in #1 except I would hang out with other little girls in that same boat, usually relatives. But it sure was awkward trying to run wearing dainty little Mary Janes!

I agree, there has to be a moderate and modest middle ground. What I have noticed is this pervasive extremism that doesn’t do anyone favors, nor is it part of Catholic teaching.

Agreed. I would have LOVED to have relatives to hang out with - no cousins within 10 years of me and I was an only child until I was 12 and then acquired a half-brother from my Dad and step-mom and a step-sister from my new step-dad in the same year. LOTS of changes!!!

I still remember going to my mother’s parents home and my grandmother setting the suitcase aside when I got there. It wasn’t opened until I was getting dressed for Church Sunday morning. She had a whole drawer of play clothes for me - overalls, jeans, etc. Even my own boots and sneakers. She was the coolest grandma EVER!

Middle ground is really the best. I find it rather funny that simply because I prefer skirts and keep my hair long (like hits the waistband of pants long) that people think it’s a religious thing. Umm…nope. This is what I choose for ME. Now you go and decide what you’re going to choose for YOU.

 

[edwest2]

The extremism people reference comes from the outside world and is definitely not promoted by the Church.

In the 1980s, I dated a young lady who often wore knee-length skirts, high heels and simple, conservative blouses. She walked like she had a book on her head, was poised and polite. At this point in time, this was lady-like. Women knew how to “carry” themselves. It was all quite natural and did not come across as artificial.

Today, women have a wide range of dressing styles, some of it regional, that sends different signals to men. The everything hanging out look is most annoying. Those low cut jeans do no favors for full figured women. A lady walked in front of me at a store, and it surprised me that after every third step she had to pull up one side or the other. I can’t imagine she thought that was functional but she must have had a reason to wear those.

In Church, conservative dress is a must. Everyone used to wear their Sunday best, but thanks to the outside world which gradually turned “casual” into anything goes – anything goes. Teenage girls, too often, appear to want to expose as much of their breasts as possible. What’s up with that?

Unfortunately, aside from Church, it appears that appropriate dress in public is whatever men are going to pay the least attention to.

Today, “society” should not be the issue but parents. We were taught how to dress, how to behave, how to be polite and how to address our elders. Standards should start at a young age in the home. Good parents raise modest, polite children. Society today? Uh uh.

God bless,
Ed

 

[spunjalebi]

Edwest I can see where you are coming from. First of all, I’d like to mention that if a young woman nowadays were to present herself with such poise and dress, she would be labeled “snotty,” “holier than thou,” “goody-goody”, amongst other things. For many women, if you aren’t debasing yourself to the demeanor of a drunken man, you are trying to be better than everyone else even though you are simply trying to be a lady. I can remember in the past, receiving snide remarks and commentary about how I must think I am “so proper” because I had manners, poise, and liked to dress in skirts. I’ve been called a goody-goody a few times in my day.

And yes, parents have a large role in this. That reminds me-- I saw on an online news website about how several girls were barred from attending their homecoming dance because the chaperones at the dance thought their clothes were immodest. What is funny is that the parents were in uproar about their daughters not being able to attend, and some of them commented on how they felt the school was in a way, implying that there was something wrong about their parenting, since they were the ones who approved the dresses.

I saw some of the dresses those girls wore, and they were not appropriate in the least bit for teenagers attending a dance at school. And what is even more ironic, is that a notice had been sent out stating that “modest dresses” needed to be worn.

 

[PetersKeys]

Women SHOULD wear veil when approaching the Eucharist, and preferable during the whole mass. Long skirts, and also clothing that does not show cleavage or open to the upper arms. Pants are originally a mans clothing. Plus many women today wear pants that hug their butts and exenttuate their curves, which is wrong since it gives occasion to sin.

It was written into the 1917 Code of Canon Law, Canon 1262, that :

*"women must cover their heads – “especially when they approach the holy table” (“mulieres autem, capite cooperto et modeste vestitae, maxime cum ad mensam Dominicam accedunt”)
*

After so many years of many women forgetting or positively repudiating the veil, clerics, not wanting to be confrontational or upset radical loudmouthed feminists and “progressive” argumentative women, pretended the issue didn’t exist. When the 1983 Code of Canon Law was produced, veiling was simply not mentioned (not abrogated, mind you, but simply not mentioned). However, Canons 20-21 of the 1983 Code of Canon Law make clear that later Canon Law abrogates earlier Canon Law only when this is made explicit and that, in cases of doubt, the revocation of earlier law is not to be presumed

Women should show their understanding and acceptance of the place God has given them in Creation by dressing and acting like women, not like men. For example, women should dress in a feminine manner, wearing skirts and dresses instead of pants, wearing some jewelry and make up (though not to excess), and grooming their hair in a feminine manner. Such external signs make a statement about the internal beliefs and attitude of the woman. The Virgin Mary would never dress or act like a man, less alone wear pants or short skirts/shorts. Women should wear a headcovering or veil when they are at Mass or at prayer. Such veils need not cover the face. The veil or headcovering is a symbol of the woman’s acceptance of her role in society, the family, and the Church, in accordance with God’s will. It is an imitation of the Virgin Mary, who wore such a headcovering.