Are Catholic women required to be beautiful?

[ConstantLearner]

Sad, but true. I grew with a bunch of guys. Friends I made. If their parents did certain things, they would imitate it. That’s the oldest fact in the book.

I never imitated my parents, and I don’t know anyone who did. I went my own way, but I was independent and rebellious.

You still didn’t answer the question: Do you think a good, kind, God-fearing widow cannot raise a gentleman because he has no father? Or, do you believe a single woman who adopts cannot raise a boy to become a gentleman?

 

[ConstantLearner]

Correct you are, sir!

You’re insulting all the wonderful widows, widowers, and single-parents out there, most of whom have wonderful children.

I have met Ronan Farrow, the son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen many times since he’s a friend of a friend, and he’s wonderful in every way! He was raised by Mia alone, and even if he weren’t, I don’t think Woody Allen is the epitome of fatherhood. Ronan even legally changed his last name to distance himself from his father. Ronan is at mass every week, is polite, kind, and a gentleman in every way.

 

[DisorientingSneeze]

You’re right too. My original post said their mommas raised them to be gentleman. Then he pointed out in a reply to my post that it wasn’t just their mommas so I agreed with that too before reading your widow and single mother elaboration. My intention was not to insult anyone but to compliment men who help people regardless of their attractiveness.

 

[ASC]

If Catholic women are supposed to be beautiful, then I’m a pretty bad Catholic woman.

 

[ConstantLearner]

You’re right too. My original post said their mommas raised them to be gentleman. Then he pointed out in a reply to my post that it wasn’t just their mommas so I agreed with that too before reading your widow and single mother elaboration. My intention was not to insult anyone but to compliment men who help people regardless of their attractiveness.

Okay, thank you for the clarification.

 

[Mintaka]

Glad to hear that Ronan Farrow goes to Mass. He did some very good news reporting by exposing the stuff going on in Hollywood and his own family, and had a lot of trouble getting his story out to the world. I have no doubt that he has enemies now; and the same for his poor sister, who was so brave about backing up his reporting, despite how hard it must have been to dig up old trauma.

I wish them every blessing. May the Lord be their strength and their hope.

Returning to the topic – obviously, all things being equal, a kid has a better chance to do well if he is raised by a good father and a good mother. Heck, it’s even better if the kid has a good extended family, all providing love and a good example.

If someone is a widow and has to raise kids, or is a single mother for some other reason, it has always been considered a good thing to have an older male godfather or uncle or cousin or cranky neighbor around, assuming the man is giving a good example. Same thing for widowers and single fathers – hopefully there’s an aunt or a godmother who can give the kids some exposure to motherly women. It’s also considered suitable for kids to have teachers or leaders of both sexes, so that they will learn how to be polite to their elders of either sex. And of course, there’s the amusing but serious responsibility of being some kid’s first crush, whether the kid is seven and announcing marriage plans, or in the first rush of puberty.

It might not be absolutely essential in every case, but kids usually should have a model of the same sex and a model of the opposite sex. That way, as kids develop (and alternate between loving the opposite sex and being grossed out by their cooties), they learn how to act as a man or woman, and how to treat a woman or a man.

The sad thing is how often this sort of thinking has been messed up, in modern times. You have women who want a man around the house for their kids, but who don’t marry their boyfriends before depositing them in the house. You have teachers and coaches and priests who were supposed to be fatherly mentors to boys, but who preyed upon them instead. And you get both adult men and women who don’t stay aloof from the neighbor kids’ crushes, but who take sexual advantage of them instead.

All things can’t be equal all the time, and God gives special protection and help to widows and orphans. But in general, if one has a decent choice in the matter, it is better that kids should have both moms and dads, who are married and stay married, and who treat them right. If that doesn’t happen, then obviously it is good to give help, even if it’s just by being around as a neighbor, relative, or friend.

 

[theCardinalbird]

Well, her Instagram is public. I don’t think she’s exactly a poster child for how a Catholic woman should look with the corset tops, the super high heels, the miniskirts, the very low-cut dresses that leave little to the imagination, etc. She’s certainly not the worst example, just not an example of a good Catholic in appearance (she may be in other areas; I only know her appearance. Frankly, I never heard of her before this thread.)

My comment has nothing to do with whether she is a good Catholic or not, whether she is a role model or not, it has to do with the fact that her Instagram page has been put on a public forum for the sake of commenting on how she behaves.

Yes her account is public but that doesnt mean it is permissible to use her account to rant about how women should and shouldn’t look. The board rules state that personal blogs are not permitted, Instagram accounts may very well fall into this category.

I don’t think we should focus on anyone’s looks, though. It’s nice to have good looks, but even the most beautiful among us will fade outwardly. Inner beauty, however, can, and should, grow.

I agree

If I had a public Instagram, I would expect people to comment on my photos, and I would expect some negativity.

Im sure, but would you expect people to put your account on a forum and use it as an example of a standard?

Yes her account is public and yes people will comment on it and there will probably be negativity, however in Instagram the account holder can block those people and actually gets to see those comments. This case however is different. In this instance someone has went behind her back, posted her account on another form of social media without her knowledge and is talking about her without her seeing any of the comments, where she has no power no say in blocking those making those comments, unless she messages the moderators, and that is assuming she is on the forums in the first place.

 

[Rozellelily]

Sorry I went off topic.
Actually the whole transgender discussion if off topic from the thread.
Maybe someone can start a different thread on transgender people if they want to discuss this further.
Generally though,I don’t think (practicing) Catholic plastic surgeons would agree to do surgery to make a person look more like the opposite gender because it doesn’t align with the Church’s teachings.

 

[ConstantLearner]

Im sure, but would you expect people to put your account on a forum and use it as an example of a standard?

If I had a public Instagram account and were trying to achieve celebrity or had achieved it, I would expect it. I think all those in the public eye have to expect it.

Still, I felt the use of her account was wrong, that it was wrong to single her out whether for positive or negative comments. I know I’d never start a thread that revolved around a single person like that. It seems a little less than charitable to me. The poster could have very easily asked the question without referencing her Instagram account. Given that, and the fact that this thread has gone off-topic, I think we should all just stop posting here. I don’t think any of us knows that person, so none of us is really qualified to comment on her.

To answer the original question: No, no Catholic woman is “required” to be beautiful, at least superficially. All of us are beautiful to some and decidedly not beautiful to others. What all women are required to do is strive for inner beauty, no matter what religious group we belong to, and all can achieve it if they work at it.

 

[Rozellelily]

At no point was I ridiculing her looks and I don’t encourage anyone to ridicule anyone’s looks ever,whether online or in real life.
Can you please point out if there is somewhere in my posts where I have said dispariging things about her looks themself?
I used her Instagram to get clarification on whether the ideal for Catholic women was to be externally feminine beauty as,whether it is admitted or not,there is a subconscious message of that sent on her Instagram with the certain poses etc which I gather is for the purpose of evangelisation.

Also to create discussion about what is femininity from a Catholic perspective vs from cultural perspective.

Instagram is called social media for a reason,what we post on it will have a knock on effect/influence to other people.
Obviously a random Catholic girl won’t have the same amount of influence as famous people like Kardashians etc though.
Certain people might even see the Instagram account in question as a good thing if they think that the public has a perception of Catholics as being “dowdy and in retirement” and it will change that impression.

Forget the linked Instagram page altogether ,I would take it down if CAF gave that option, and just focus on that generally there are some messages out there (whether on websites,blogs,social media etc) that confound notions of cultural femininity and beauty and Catholic femininity.
Other examples where this message are seen are the Truecatholicfemininity website and the below article by a Catholic women, which while having a lot of great points,neglects the reality that not all women are beautiful.

A Reflection on Beauty: God's Chosen Gift to Women - Marriage & Family - Home & Family - News - Catholic Online

Beauty invites us to participate in the Source of all Beauty, the living God Beauty is a cherished gift from God to this broken world. It gives us a glimpse into the mind of the Creator and reveals ...

www.catholic.org

I didn’t post this girls public Instagram page for anyone to judge her.At the same time it’s hard to start a thread discussion of this nature without some visual examples.