C
CatholicHoser
Guest
I’m actually having not exactly the same, but similar issues as Hermione posted in this thread and in another recent one.
I’m 25 years old, practicing Catholic, trying to do all the right things for the Lord Jesus. I go to Church every Sunday now. Pray every day. Belong to the Rosary Confraternity and recite it every week. Live chastely. Donate to the poor when I can. Trying to learn more about the Faith and defend it. Go to confession every few months. Et cetera…
However, I’m having problems, getting paranoid and a worsening anxiety disorder in fact, that I could ended up getting damned on a “technicality” (so to speak) or something I’m not even aware of. I tend to drive a tick over the speed limit. Listen to some modern music, not the worst of it, and I sincerely believe it does not adversely affect me now, but still… Not able to contact a few past friends or girlfriends to forgive them. Downloaded online music, Watch “The Simpsons” and “Seinfeld”. Even Seinfeld, has not adversly affected my faith as I look back on it. I’m actually repulsed by the characters. Et cetera.
Sometimes I just get discouraged and want to give up, feeling there’s no way almost anyone in this modern society to achieve eternal unity in Jesus. But, I want to… really bad.There are just so many ways to go a bit astray and some people make it seem that all you have to do is commit one small screw-up and you’re toast. I want to be a great Catholic and spread the Good News out of my own free will, and live by God’s rule by my own free will, I know that is the ideal. But right now, I’m living out of fear. I feel that I’m operating more out of fear than of love but I can’t help it. I want to operate out of love, I realize that is the ideal, but I physically and mentally just can’t get to that point now because I’m just so afraid. Am I just not mature enough in my faith yet, my diagnosed anxiety disorder just acting up, or what?
This is not even to mention what Hermione alludes to, as to all the people who have it immesurably worse than I do in this life, such as people in North Korea, the Middle East, and so many other places!
John Paul the Great says, “Be not afraid!” Great words from a great man of God, but I can’t make them a reality for me now. Not when so many things seem to be a mortal sin and damnation lurks at every corner. There doesn’t seem to be any way to be free of crippling fear in this life. I know that can’t be what the Catholic faith is about. What is a soul that sincerely and truly desires to be a good Catholic to do?
Any thoughts, suggestions, or comments would be appreciated by me, and I’m sure Hermione and many others. Thanks—
-Bob
I’m 25 years old, practicing Catholic, trying to do all the right things for the Lord Jesus. I go to Church every Sunday now. Pray every day. Belong to the Rosary Confraternity and recite it every week. Live chastely. Donate to the poor when I can. Trying to learn more about the Faith and defend it. Go to confession every few months. Et cetera…
However, I’m having problems, getting paranoid and a worsening anxiety disorder in fact, that I could ended up getting damned on a “technicality” (so to speak) or something I’m not even aware of. I tend to drive a tick over the speed limit. Listen to some modern music, not the worst of it, and I sincerely believe it does not adversely affect me now, but still… Not able to contact a few past friends or girlfriends to forgive them. Downloaded online music, Watch “The Simpsons” and “Seinfeld”. Even Seinfeld, has not adversly affected my faith as I look back on it. I’m actually repulsed by the characters. Et cetera.
Sometimes I just get discouraged and want to give up, feeling there’s no way almost anyone in this modern society to achieve eternal unity in Jesus. But, I want to… really bad.There are just so many ways to go a bit astray and some people make it seem that all you have to do is commit one small screw-up and you’re toast. I want to be a great Catholic and spread the Good News out of my own free will, and live by God’s rule by my own free will, I know that is the ideal. But right now, I’m living out of fear. I feel that I’m operating more out of fear than of love but I can’t help it. I want to operate out of love, I realize that is the ideal, but I physically and mentally just can’t get to that point now because I’m just so afraid. Am I just not mature enough in my faith yet, my diagnosed anxiety disorder just acting up, or what?
This is not even to mention what Hermione alludes to, as to all the people who have it immesurably worse than I do in this life, such as people in North Korea, the Middle East, and so many other places!
John Paul the Great says, “Be not afraid!” Great words from a great man of God, but I can’t make them a reality for me now. Not when so many things seem to be a mortal sin and damnation lurks at every corner. There doesn’t seem to be any way to be free of crippling fear in this life. I know that can’t be what the Catholic faith is about. What is a soul that sincerely and truly desires to be a good Catholic to do?
Any thoughts, suggestions, or comments would be appreciated by me, and I’m sure Hermione and many others. Thanks—
-Bob