Are people dressing immodestly during Mass?

[weepixie71]

there was a young girl, id say 14, and her family sitting in front of my husband and family. why everyone decides to put down the kneelers during the Holy Holy Holy is beyond me but this girl was wearing a skirt so short that when she went to bend over to put down her kneeler my husband could see she was wearing a thong.

my husband was so upset about it that he decided to tell what happened to the parents. their response was believe it or not laughter with a friendly pat to the daughters back telling her to be more careful next time.

 

[atassina]

Obviously, immodest dress during the liturgies is a serious problem all across the United States. What standards do you suggest. Remember, we want modest attire and not fashion standards. For example, baggy jeans and sweatshirts are modest attire. High fashion, new clothes that are so tight that you can see every crack and crevice of all the body parts are immodest.

 

[brigid12]

simplicity doesnt mean immodest or to wear what you would spend your day in visiting a park.

if you had an important job interview you would dress nice wouldnt you? a pair of slacks maybe a tie.
a simple dress or a nice feminine suit.

when you dress nicer to go to an italian restaurant than you do when you go to church maybe its time to rethink your sunday wardrobe. yes?

Absolutely! We, who are graced to be able to be part of the Catholic Church have something that protestant denom. don’t have - our King, in the tabernacle and in Holy Communion. However there are numerous protestant churches in which the congregation attend in full “wedding” attire. They are prepared to greet the Lord, but many, many people who have Him actually present are not so prepared. What’s the problem? Don’t we believe as much as they do in the glory that is Christ? It would seem not. We dress better for dates or prospective employers than for Him! Do we love money more than we love Him? Or maybe we value human (peer) respect more than we value Him.

 

[onmyknees]

I have come to a tentative conclusion on this: I truly believe that some women (young women and girls) are not aware that they are dressing immodestly. On a regular basis, I have seen women come to daily Mass dressed immodestly. Therefore, if a daily communicant and regular Mass attender comes to church dressed immodestly, she must be unaware.

A friend of mine told me that she used to wear shorts to church and after gazing at the statue of Mary realized she was dressed immodestly. A regular Mass attender, regular communicant, prays the rosary every day: even she was unaware. Therefore, I conclude that the other women are unaware. The whole US Church need a teaching on proper church attire.

Anthony

I have to agree that some young girls are not aware that they are dressing immodestly. But women who come dressed this way on a regular basis may be very aware that they are catching the attention of men and that is why they dress this way. I can say this because I am a women and I like attention from men. I don't dress immodestly anymore but I used to sometimes. I think most women like attention from men and sometimes it is hard for some women to stop trying to get it.

 

[Galnextdoor]

I have come to a tentative conclusion on this: I truly believe that some women (young women and girls) are not aware that they are dressing immodestly. On a regular basis, I have seen women come to daily Mass dressed immodestly. Therefore, if a daily communicant and regular Mass attender comes to church dressed immodestly, she must be unaware.

A friend of mine told me that she used to wear shorts to church and after gazing at the statue of Mary realized she was dressed immodestly. A regular Mass attender, regular communicant, prays the rosary every day: even she was unaware. Therefore, I conclude that the other women are unaware. The whole US Church need a teaching on proper church attire.

Anthony

I have heard priests talk about it from the pulpit, but I seldom notice that it makes any difference. In one place I lived, the priests had a solution to the immodest attire problem.
They kept the church at 65 degrees year round. All the women knew church was going to be cold so they covered up to keep warm.

 

[elts1956]

I am a devout Catholic and this subject has been one of the few things I have found wrong with the Holy Mother Church. Didn’t Jesus preach simplicity? Then why do we get all dressy to worship at Holy Mass?

At my parish there is a sign in front of the doors that explain what is acceptable to wear. There are also examples (pictures) of how you are to dress. The length of a dress, no shorts etc.

There are a few people who come in jeans, but not many. Many of the women cover their heads. Everyone is very reverent. You see all the children 2 years and up genuflecting before entering the pew. Even the teenagers usually wear modest clothes and the boys pants and shirts. There are many men who where suits.

Also it is a NO parish it is very traditional. They also have a latin mass on Sundays and confession almost every day and also on Sunday.

Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary

Bernadette

Wow! You are quite blessed to be in this parish. I have often wanted to aks our parish priest if a sign could be posted at the entrance to the Church saying, “Practice reverence and respect. No shorts allowed”. Haven’t seen the plunging necklines at Mass, YET.

 

[turtle18]

Tigg/Assina,

You’ve both made some excellent points in your posts.

There is a priest in our Archdiocese who posts what proper dress is on the outside of the Church door. It definitely needs to be addressed in homilies, but I think it is more effective to put a reminder on the door.

It all comes back to humility. Let’s face it, 90% of the Catholic Churches in America are not in poverty stricken areas–people can afford clothing. Therefore, they are chosing what to wear to Mass. And it always comes back to, “don’t tell me what to wear,” or “men need to control themselves.” That is so uncharitable towards men and it lacks any humility. It is not a man vs. woman issue. If you know that dressing like that could cause someone to sin, be charitable and cover yourself.

And I don’t buy the “it’s hot outside” excuse. For 1,960 years, millions of people have attended Mass in unairconditioned spaces while wearing clothing from head to toes with tons of undergarments on underneath. As the nuns used to say, offer it up!!

I know another Church wear the Confirmation candidates are made to wear robes–because as the youth minister said, kids can and will wear everything.

 

[Tigg]

It all comes back to humility. Let’s face it, 90% of the Catholic Churches in America are not in poverty stricken areas–people can afford clothing. Therefore, they are chosing what to wear to Mass.

The poverty stricken areas are no excuse either. We happened to live in a small town of 2,500 people in the hill country of Tennessee many years back. Many folks there were truly way under the poverty line. This was in the heart of the Bible belt, so the Catholic population was only about 1%, and YET the poorest Protestants put us to shame. They may have lived in a run-down shanty, but look out Sunday morning. The girls NEVER went to Church wearing pants - they may only have had one dress, but that dress was worn to church along with a hat. Even in the sweltering heat, the boys wore a long sleeved dress shirt (sometimes you could tell it was a hand-me-down because the cuffs were way too short,) but God Bless Them. They showed respect for the Lord’s house and were scandalized to think us Catholics wore jeans to Sunday Mass.

 

[brigid12]

Apparently, even in Harlem they all dress to the nines on Sundays. A person can get some pretty nice things at Goodwill - that is, if it is a priority for you to present yourself nicely to our King and you feel He is deserving of your effort!

 

[atassina]

They may be dressed fashionably and stylishly. Are they dressed modestly?

 

[weepixie71]

I wish I would see Catholic Churches have a dress code. there was a time when they did.

being poor is not a good reason to not wear a skirt and shirt or a simple dress. i didnt come from a rich parish and women made clothes for themselves and their children. you also have Goodwill, Amvets, and Catholic Charities. and if you are really poor and expressed to a priest you would like to dress modestly but cant afford to, then im sure he would know a person or two to call to help you and your family to be clothed for church modestly.

my sister goes to a Pius V and if someone is dressed immodestly be it man woman or child they have them wear an alb. i think is good and it makes an impression on the children. some say, “people may be turned away by being offended to be asked to wear an alb”. i say it’s Jesus house, his offense takes priority.

i think it would be a good idea, that anyone including people doing the readings and Eucharistic ministry should wear an alb. too many times men and women have been in the sanctuary dressed immodestly.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

HI! I was at a church and the 2 girls in front of us did not have on a,Well under clothes and they were at least 16-17 and i had my children 2 boys 2 girls and they turned around to give us a hand shake and my son saw this and i was so imbarrased i took the kids and left. The Pastor did not seem to mind and we never went back. They are not conservitive and the house of God is not a Street house, and you should have respect for everyone there and the Lord. SEE thruogh clothe should be kept in the bedroom,not in public. LOve of Christ Nancy

 

[katiebelle08]

Are you having a problem with people dressing immodestly during Mass and any other liturgical services? I have seen teenage girls come to church in a dress that my mother used to call a nightie. Men and women wearing shorts in church is also immodest-- I think.
What have you seen and experienced?

In my parish, we have always had problems with this. Our former priest used to address this issue every year during the beginning weeks of the summer. He told us that he understands that it is hot outside but we must understand why we are at Mass. He used to say that girls should be wearing nice skirts and dresses that at least come to their knees. He told the men, women and children that we had no reason to be wearing shorts. If we must, they had better been modest, length at least to our knee. Our priest also made mention that women and girls should not be wearing low cut blouses. These kinds of shirts dress or not are not meant to be worn at church.

I thought it was interesting to learn that in Rome in the Basilica’s women have to cover their shoulders. Women can not even enter the church without a sweater on. Maybe we should have the same expectations that we put into action worldwide.

 

[slyboots]

Yes they are. Both males and females.

Now for an Andy Rooney moment:
Have you ever noticed that everytime we start talking about headcovering/veiling our threads get closed?

Back to the topic.
Short skirts which are too short to sit comfortably (never mind immodest) are seen.
Tank tops which show part of the breast area on the sides.
Shorts which need belts to hold them up which tend to show the tops of the young men’s underwear.
Blouses that dive so far down at the neckline that bras are visible if worn.

I’m an old hippie. In my time I have dressed badly, immodestly, and stupidly. But I would not have dreamed of entering church dressed in shorts that show my behind and a tank top showing 1/4 of my breasts.

And yes I wear a veil. Apparently the Church doesn’t hold that against me nor would it if I did not. I wear it because God moved me to do so.

But common sense which we seem to have little of says you don’t wear Daisy Dukes and a midriff baring top to mass.

 

[katiebelle08]

Yes they are. Both males and females.

Now for an Andy Rooney moment:
Have you ever noticed that everytime we start talking about headcovering/veiling our threads get closed?

Back to the topic.
Short skirts which are too short to sit comfortably (never mind immodest) are seen.
Tank tops which show part of the breast area on the sides.
Shorts which need belts to hold them up which tend to show the tops of the young men’s underwear.
Blouses that dive so far down at the neckline that bras are visible if worn.

I’m an old hippie. In my time I have dressed badly, immodestly, and stupidly. But I would not have dreamed of entering church dressed in shorts that show my behind and a tank top showing 1/4 of my breasts.

And yes I wear a veil. Apparently the Church doesn’t hold that against me nor would it if I did not. I wear it because God moved me to do so.

But common sense which we seem to have little of says you don’t wear Daisy Dukes and a midriff baring top to mass.

Good point slyboots,

Both men and women of all ages are dressing immodestly for Mass now-a-days. I know because I am 20 and I would never dream dressing in some of the revealing clothes people wear at our church. Its horrible. When I grew up I was taught we cover up. Although, I was never taught to wear a veil. But my best friend, a widow, has worn one ever since PJP II passed away. I don’t think the church will ever tell women they can’t wear them because its a sign of respect to our Lord Jesus.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

I guess if you complained to the designers they would eat it like candy because they would know their product did get noticed, and that is all that matters to them, it’s to bad people dont understand that it is not the unvailing that is recognized it is the vailing.The less you see the more you want and the more you see the less you want (meaning) That is why Marraige is not wanted any more, you can see and live together and quit when it is convienent. Before when the body was less exposed men wanted woman and marraige was more sacred, the unvailing was in the bedroom not on the streets.If i had it to do all over again and i was single i’d become a hermit. Love of Christ Nancy

 

[Tigg]

Yes they are. Both males and females.

Short skirts which are too short to sit comfortably (never mind immodest) are seen.
Tank tops which show part of the breast area on the sides.
Shorts which need belts to hold them up which tend to show the tops of the young men’s underwear.
Blouses that dive so far down at the neckline that bras are visible if worn.

Well, how about this one? We have moved from this state, now, but I went to a week-day Mass and the lector had short shorts on and a top with spaghetti straps. That is how the sacred reading was done - with her on the altar dressed like that. Our pastor was gone and we had a visiting priest for the summer, so I went to our deacon and complained, nicely explaining that to my way of thinking, no one should be on the altar dressed like that. He asked me if I was from that state; when I said, “No, not originally” he told me it was a cultural thing to wear clothing like that. I was flabbergasted. He defended it! In his mind, it wasn’t an issue of modesty or respect for the Eucharist, but a “cultural” consideration!

 

[atassina]

Well, how about this one? We have moved from this state, now, but I went to a week-day Mass and the lector had short shorts on and a top with spaghetti straps. That is how the sacred reading was done - with her on the altar dressed like that. Our pastor was gone and we had a visiting priest for the summer, so I went to our deacon and complained, nicely explaining that to my way of thinking, no one should be on the altar dressed like that. He asked me if I was from that state; when I said, “No, not originally” he told me it was a cultural thing to wear clothing like that. I was flabbergasted. He defended it! In his mind, it wasn’t an issue of modesty or respect for the Eucharist, but a “cultural” consideration!

Eldridge Cleaver, the old radical, designed a line of pants for men. In the same way that a bra holds a woman’s breasts (which is modest), these pants would hold a man’s genitals-- well defined and emphasized. Perhaps if this were the custom, the deacon would accept it. Our modesty standards have become so low that we as a worshipping community fail to see the problem with immodest clothing. Let’s see if we can develop some simple standards that define modest attire in church.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

TodayModesty Matters
June 28th, 2008 by Mary Ellen Barrett Print This Article ·ShareThis

Summer is just such a wonderful time of year. The weather is warm and inviting, the birds are chirping and the flowers are blooming. Unfortunately with this lovely warm weather comes a barrage of skin both attractive and unattractive. In direct correlation to the temperature rise, the amount of clothing worn by many women and girls deceases, at an often alarming rate.

A few weeks ago at church I found myself sitting behind a beautiful young lady who was dressed in pajama pants and a spaghetti -strapped top that did not meet the top of her pants. She spent the entire Mass slouched in the pew picking her fingernails. Her long, fake fingernails. In spite of how annoying this was, I wasn’t really upset with the girl.

It was her mother I had the issue with.

I tend to be more formal when dressing myself and my family for Mass. My girls wear skirts and dresses and my boys wear khakis and collared shirts. No sneakers, jeans or t-shirts allowed. These rules won’t work for every family but I have made them work for mine. There are some rules that do work for every family though. In general if you wear it to the beach — don’t wear it to church, if you wear it to bed — don’t wear it to church and if you wear it to the gym — don’t wear it to church.

Here on Long Island, and I’m sure everywhere else in America, the first warm breeze blows and out come the belly buttons, upper thighs and undergarments as outer garments. I am frustrated beyond telling at the selection of clothing for girls in sizes as young as six that have less to do with enhancing their femininity and more to do with exposing flesh. This is annoying in the mall; it is outrageous in church.

We, as a society, are doing a terrible job at protecting our daughters’ virtue.

Yes, I said it. Virtue. Not a word you hear much when it comes to young women but one that needs to be shouted from the rooftops. Here is another one: Innocence. Protect their innocence. Our girls and, to a lesser extent, boys, are being subjected to a marketing strategy referred to as the “tweening of America”. The term “tween” refers to the ages from nine to twelve and Madison Avenue feels they have found a gold mine in this demographic. They seem to be right, as parents line up on Saturday morning at salons to pay $45 to have their ten-year-old daughters’ hair highlighted and their twelve-year-olds’ legs waxed. Eight is the new fifteen according to the New York Times. This is sheer insanity.

To dress a six-year-old as if she were seventeen deprives her of her childhood. To allow a seventeen-year-old to dress as if her body was little more than a vehicle to display the latest trend is to deprive her of her personhood. Little girls should be dressed like little girls. They should wear clothes that celebrate their little-girlhood and announce to the world that they are beautiful as children of God, not as living racks for designer labels. To allow a twelve-year-old to dress in a manner that can only be considered provocative is to put her very soul in jeopardy. She becomes an object to be desired and possibly she becomes an occasion of sin for the boys around her. There are some genies that cannot be put back into the bottle and allowing a very young girl to display herself in a revealing way is not something a parent can allow until the age of seventeen and then suddenly develop a no tolerance policy for that kind of wardrobe and the behavior that will accompany it.

Now before you all start emailing me, I am not suggesting that all the girls go Amish in their clothing choices. It is possible to be stylish, pretty and covered up. I know it is; I’ve seen it happen. Right here in my own home and in the homes of my friends. Pretty girls dressed in pretty clothes appropriate to their ages and covering everything that needs to be covered. Teaching your children modesty in their clothing and in their demeanor awakens them to the fact that they are spiritual beings, designed by God for good and holy reasons. It ingrains in them a respect for the human person and gives them a dignity which they will fight mightily to retain. It will give them armor to fight the war against chastity that society will draft them into at a ridiculously young age. A strong sense of modesty will teach your children that their bodies are sacred spaces not to be abused or treated ill. They will surround themselves with like-minded peers and you will find as they get older that their inclination will be to shun what is not modest and embrace what is.

The Vatican has the same concern for your children as God does. The value placed upon preserving their innocence cannot be underestimated. In the document The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality we find this admonition:

“Parents should politely but firmly exclude any attempts to violate children’s innocence because such attempts compromise the spiritual, moral, and emotional development of growing persons who have a right to their innocence” (TMHS N. 83, emphasis mine).
Your children are created in the image and likeness of God and when they behave immodestly and dress immodestly they outrage their very Creator. When they are in church they are in the very presence of Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist. Does He deserve less than what you would put them in to visit their grandparents or attend a birthday party?

 

[AHapka]

Well, I normally wear a suit and tie to Mass. But this past weekend I wore jeans and a t-shirt.

Why? I was out of town and didn’t pack any of the good cloths. But better to go then skip due to the mistake…