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Cristiano
Guest
What do you think the primary purpose of a hat is about?
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Cristiano
Guest
Just because it has been dropped by the CCL that does not mean that it is appropriate to wear a baseball cap at Mass. I do not see anything that says that I cannot chew gum at Mass, is that appropriate? Do you really need a law or a private opinion from a pope to know what would be considered polite behavior? Would you think that is normal and appropriate for a man to wear a baseball cap at a dinner with international dignitaries at the White House? What do you think of people that refuse to take their caps off when the National Anthem is played?
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LilyM
Guest
Lots of different things - warmth, protection from dust, dirt, heat or sunshine, showing off wealth, status are just some of them. I would never say there was ONE primary purpose.
That’s why there have been different rules for men and women - eg women covered their heads for Church whereas men uncovered. Men doffed their hats to women and socially superior men, women didn’t doff their hats for anyone. Children usually had head uncovered even in situations where adults would cover. And so on.
This difference between what men or children did hatwise v women or adults in general shows that there never was one primary universal function.
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LilyM
Guest
When something that has been a longstanding rule, to the point of being enshrined in Canon Law, is deliberately omitted (for no changes to Canon Law are made by accident and nothing is merely ‘dropped’ for no reason) AND a sector of the faithful make a lot of noise about the significance of that omission, as they did about the change to the requirement to cover, then you can bet that complete silence from the Popes and the Magisterium thereafter speaks volumes.
No, I don’t need a rule about gum. But if there WAS a written rule against it, which was deliberately removed, and 50% of people suddenly started chewing gum, and for 30 YEARS not one member of the Magisterium - no Pope or Bishop in good standing - said even privately ‘y’know, people really should stop chewing gum, even though there’s no rule against it’ - well it’d be a foolish person who would conclude that they hadn’t deliberately and by consensus decided that the rule was no longer relevant and so axed it.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it cross the line, and it shouldn’t happen. It’s not proper for couples to be all over each other in church when they should be paying attention to the Mass/praying/responding.
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TrueLight
Guest
I think there should generally be little to no PDAs at mass. I don’t mind spouses holding hands in the pews.
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jwinch2
Guest
As long as it is not in bad taste, e.g. making out or grabbing sensitive areas, I see nothing wrong with any of it.
I frequently hold my wife’s hand at Mass. I also frequently put my arm around her or rest my hand on her leg, usually during the homily or after communion once we are finished with our prayers. I occasionally lean over and kiss her on the head after the homily or after our post-communion prayers and tell her that I love her. Occasionally, I rub her shoulder, etc. while I have my arm around her, which I usually do not even realize I am doing.
I suppose one could see that and think we were not paying attention to the liturgy, the homily, etc. but they would be very wrong. What those people would not know is that often something in the homily strikes one of us in such a way that we tear up a bit and after it is over, the other is lending support. Sometimes, we had been in an argument recently and it is during Mass that one or both of our hearts soften. Sometimes during communion or immediately following the magnitude of things hits one of us and I or my wife get a bit emotional and the other lends support. The shared experience of being at Mass with my wife is very important to both of us. I love to sing and music has been a big part of my life. I have considered joining one of our parish choirs many times. However, being in the choir would mean not sitting with my wife during Mass which at this time in my life, I am not willing to do.
Others above have suggested that this sort of behavior is not appropriate and will likely disagree with what I have stated above. That’s fine, you are entitled to your opinion.
I frequently hold my wife’s hand at Mass. I also frequently put my arm around her or rest my hand on her leg, usually during the homily or after communion once we are finished with our prayers. I occasionally lean over and kiss her on the head after the homily or after our post-communion prayers and tell her that I love her. Occasionally, I rub her shoulder, etc. while I have my arm around her, which I usually do not even realize I am doing.
I suppose one could see that and think we were not paying attention to the liturgy, the homily, etc. but they would be very wrong. What those people would not know is that often something in the homily strikes one of us in such a way that we tear up a bit and after it is over, the other is lending support. Sometimes, we had been in an argument recently and it is during Mass that one or both of our hearts soften. Sometimes during communion or immediately following the magnitude of things hits one of us and I or my wife get a bit emotional and the other lends support. The shared experience of being at Mass with my wife is very important to both of us. I love to sing and music has been a big part of my life. I have considered joining one of our parish choirs many times. However, being in the choir would mean not sitting with my wife during Mass which at this time in my life, I am not willing to do.
Others above have suggested that this sort of behavior is not appropriate and will likely disagree with what I have stated above. That’s fine, you are entitled to your opinion.
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Zosimus41
Guest
I see it often but only while attending a NO mass and typically the guys will have their arms laid on the back of the pew. I dont see it all when attending the Latin Rite.
Personally I think we should show our attention 100% to the mass and not entertain ourselves. I know for myself when the wife and I are at a meeting or movie when I get bored I turn my attention to her (arm around her,put my head against hers) etc…
Think about it when your reading a good book typically your so absorbed (Intensely engaged; engrossed) into the book your not concentrating (Focus one’s attention or mental effort on a particular object or activity) on anything else. Shouldnt that be our mindset in mass?
It seems like a self fulfilling act.
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mandajane
Guest
In mass, FH and I hold hands, unless we’re supposed to be doing something with them at the time. Every once in a while he will put his arm around my shoulders, over the back of the pew. When we give each other the Sign of Peace, we kiss each other’s cheeks. That’s about the extent of it, and the extent of what I’ll accept. (Well, maybe a married couple giving each other a quick peck on the lips during the Sign of Peace, instead of the cheek… bah)
anyway, anything you wouldn’t be ashamed to do in front of your mother and grandmother, should normally be ok in mass.
anyway, anything you wouldn’t be ashamed to do in front of your mother and grandmother, should normally be ok in mass.
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onmyknees
Guest
I have never seen any couples cuddling or touching each other during the mass but I don’t think it would be appropriate at mass. Honestly, I sometimes wonder if people know what is really happening at the mass! BTW, excuse my ignorance but what is PDA?
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Nec5
Guest
I think it means Public Display of Affection rather than Personal Data Assistant. Alas, we live in acronym hell.I have never seen any couples cuddling or touching each other during the mass but I don’t think it would be appropriate at mass. Honestly, I sometimes wonder if people know what is really happening at the mass! BTW, excuse my ignorance but what is PDA?
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onmyknees
Guest
Oh! Okay thank you for enlightening me!
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aicirt
Guest
Noooo…The point is THEY should be focused on the Mass and not the canoodling.Perhaps we should all be focused more on the Mass rather than what other parishioners are doing…
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MissRose73
Guest
I do not mind couples holding hands during Mass,and/or giving a quick hug/quick chaste kiss during the Sign of Peace. Any demonstrations of public affection beyond that should be saved for outside of Mass as some people may get offended or may consider it scandalous in some way.
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Orogeny
Guest
I usually have my arm around my wife during Mass, we frequently hold hands and we kiss on the lips during the sign of peace. We are not engaged in sex or anything that is inappropriate outside the bedroom.
We kissed on the altar during our wedding Mass. Was that inappropriate?
I would suggest that those who have a problem with our behavior move somewhere else in the church. The building seats 1600 people, so you should be able to find somewhere less offensive.
Peace
Tim
during the sign of peace. We are not engaged in sex or anything that is inappropriate outside the bedroom.We kissed on the altar during our wedding Mass. Was that inappropriate?
I would suggest that those who have a problem with our behavior move somewhere else in the church. The building seats 1600 people, so you should be able to find somewhere less offensive.
Peace
Tim
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salusanimarum17
Guest
That’s a two-way street, it seems to me. What could prevent me from saying that you should be the people who move to the last pew so no one would be stuck behind you?
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
The arm-around the spouse is not a problem. It’s all the other stuff such as whispering to each other, patting heads, stroking hair, etc. that is inappropriate. It’s as if that couple is bringing their intimate relationship too far forward into the setting. Mass is not about their personal relationship, but each person’s relationship to Christ and the other members of the body. They treat it more like an entertainment or a spectator event, like going to the movies. Heck, hubby and I don’t do PDA even at the movies! We’re there to watch the film, not smooch and groom each other like teens!
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Gordon_Sims
Guest
One the rare occasions when my wife and I actually get to sit next to one another at Mass (as in, without kids in between), I’ll hold her hand and occasionally put my arm around her. Nothing inappropriate, especially the hand-holding since we tend to hold hands as a family while praying.
I’ve seen people go way past the line of what’s acceptable, though. Just recently there was a younger couple who had their hands all over each other all throughout Mass, including having their hands in each others back pockets through most of the Mass. This was right after the brouhaha with the lesbian who was denied Communion and I still think this couple–who haven’t been seen in our parish before or since–were there to cause problems. They didn’t hold a candle to the couple at Christmas Midnight Mass several years ago, though. They had several ridiculously rowdy young kids whose care and discipline they left up to the oblivious grandparents. They spent almost the entire Mass making out, groping each other (mostly above the waist but occasionally beneath the clothing) and at one point were nearly laying down in the pew, half on top of one another. Several people commented, a few moved (difficult considering how crowded the church was) and the ushers even had words with them a few times. I’ve never seen them back, but the grandparents still attend.
As far as hats go, I wore a baseball cap to Mass once back in college. It was a Saturday evening Mass and there were lots of extenuating circumstances involved, but I had no clue at the time that it was looked down on. When the priest stopped to tell me to remove it during the entrance procession, I got the idea and haven’t worn one to Mass since.
I’ve seen people go way past the line of what’s acceptable, though. Just recently there was a younger couple who had their hands all over each other all throughout Mass, including having their hands in each others back pockets through most of the Mass. This was right after the brouhaha with the lesbian who was denied Communion and I still think this couple–who haven’t been seen in our parish before or since–were there to cause problems. They didn’t hold a candle to the couple at Christmas Midnight Mass several years ago, though. They had several ridiculously rowdy young kids whose care and discipline they left up to the oblivious grandparents. They spent almost the entire Mass making out, groping each other (mostly above the waist but occasionally beneath the clothing) and at one point were nearly laying down in the pew, half on top of one another. Several people commented, a few moved (difficult considering how crowded the church was) and the ushers even had words with them a few times. I’ve never seen them back, but the grandparents still attend.
As far as hats go, I wore a baseball cap to Mass once back in college. It was a Saturday evening Mass and there were lots of extenuating circumstances involved, but I had no clue at the time that it was looked down on. When the priest stopped to tell me to remove it during the entrance procession, I got the idea and haven’t worn one to Mass since.
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aicirt
Guest
Come on, Tim. I kissed my husband on the altar when we wed too. Who hasn’t. And I kiss my husband, family and friends during the sign of peace and hold hands. We’re talking about back rubs, cuddling up as if at home on a couch, staring at each other and whispering during the Mass, etc. That is not appropriate.I usually have my arm around my wife during Mass, we frequently hold hands and we kiss on the lips
We kissed on the altar during our wedding Mass. Was that inappropriate?
I would suggest that those who have a problem with our behavior move somewhere else in the church. The building seats 1600 people, so you should be able to find somewhere less offensive.
Peace
Tim
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maryjk
Guest
Could you imagine the money wasted by buying a movie ticket then not watching the movie? Sorry, I can’t waste that kind of money.
Arm around, holding hands and a kiss at the Sign of Peace is fine, great even. I don’t understand the “nuzzling” during Mass.
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