As a gay (SSA) Catholic, I'm exhausted

  • Thread starter Thread starter RealisticCatholic
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Can’t give the baby boomers (I am one) a pass. I think the buck stops with the boomers.
 
In some ways I thank God I’m a revert. I missed being deeply indoctrinated into low (to the point of weak) Christology. Unfortunately the sickness has been transmitted across generations. But I really believe young people are hungry for muscular, blinding faith. Their faith seeks understanding. I see this in the sole but vibrant, EF parish in our large diocese. Many young people and families, hungry for Christ in their lives. People linger after Masses, talk to the priests, throng the bookstore.
Coincidentally, that parish seems to have excellent communication as well. Runs like a Swiss watch.
 
Last edited:
phil19034 said:
I think the bigger problem is that people think marriage is the better option. It’s not. It’s just a different vocation. It is arguable far more work too. Remember: we Catholics are called to be married for life. Divorce and remarriage (unless there no real marriage) is a mortal sin. It’s just as damning as homosexual acts. So for a practicing Catholic, you marry the wrong person - you’re stuck!

I think today’s culture says “marriage is all about feeling loved.” It’s not. It’s about dying to oneself, sacrificing yourself for your spouse and children. And frankly, that’s not easy. Sometimes you just want to take a vacation from your family. But guess what, you can’t.
Click to expand...
No matter how difficult it might be, I doubt that most married folk would want to trade their married life for a life in which they had never experienced sex or any physical or emotional intimacy with another person. Being in an intimate relationship with someone that they can share their lives with is something that I think most people yearn for, and friendships are not a substitute. Genesis 2: 18 says, "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” So, I don’t think that God thinks that being alone is just as good as being in a relationship with someone who can be your “partner” in life.
 
Last edited:
This is what God in the Second Person of the most Holy Trinity, says in the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 14:

“25 Now great multitudes accompanied him; and he turned and said to them, 26 “If any one comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”

No one who puts Jesus Christ first in his or her life is ever alone. There is no more intimate relationship and no greater friendship than that one can have with Jesus Christ.
 
Last edited:
Thorolfr said:
40.png
phil19034:
I think the bigger problem is that people think marriage is the better option. It’s not. It’s just a different vocation. It is arguable far more work too. Remember: we Catholics are called to be married for life. Divorce and remarriage (unless there no real marriage) is a mortal sin. It’s just as damning as homosexual acts. So for a practicing Catholic, you marry the wrong person - you’re stuck!

I think today’s culture says “marriage is all about feeling loved.” It’s not. It’s about dying to oneself, sacrificing yourself for your spouse and children. And frankly, that’s not easy. Sometimes you just want to take a vacation from your family. But guess what, you can’t.
Click to expand...
No matter how difficult it might be, I doubt that most married folk would want to trade their married life for a life in which they had never experienced sex or any physical or emotional intimacy with another person. Being in an intimate relationship with someone that they can share their lives with is something that I think most people yearn for, and friendships are not a substitute. Genesis 2: 18 says, "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.” So, I don’t think that God thinks that being alone is just as good as being in a relationship with someone who can be your “partner” in life.
Click to expand...
  1. I hope no one who is called to married life and has kids regrets their children. Just has I hope no priest regrets not getting married and not having his own biological children.
  2. while that passage in Genesis does refer to marriage, marriage isn’t the sole meaning. It also refers to family and community too. As a product of biology, there are more women than men. Not everyone is called to marriage.
However, every single one of us are called for family, which is the domestic Church.

God Bless
 
A man can call himself anything he wants; he can even call himself a lady and demand that others call him a she; but what I’m saying is that it’s a rotten idea to label one’s self by worldly definitions, as it goes completely against the gospel. The whole point of following Christ and becoming a Catholic is to begin the process of dying to the old self; the process of unmasking, uprooting and removing all the rotten attachments, all the masks one wears, and all the secret sinful longings in our heart that separates us from God.

Following rules and regulations is pointless if they do not help one begin the transformation. Sanctity is the vocation of all who find Christ. This means allowing God to kill our old self; the old self dies in order to replace it with a new self: God gives us Himself. This process is called sanctification, and it is a life-long journey that allows God to transform a soul from selfish wretched impure sinner, entrenched and enslaved by the world, the flesh and the devil, to being a perfectly new being reflecting the image of God.

When one says “I am Trans” or “I am Gay” or “I am Bi” or “I am Questioning” etc. simply shows that one is reflecting the culture which has become entrenched in the hearts and minds of people—-an entrenchment which will have to be uprooted if one is truly seeking to follow Christ. It was Christ who said I am the Truth; thus it is the Truth that will set you free. This is only possible with God’s sanctifying grace.The journey entails death to the old self, the old self esteem has to be replaced by Christ-esteem.

Here is a good talk by Archbishop Sheen that will help for the journey: AUDIO
 
Fets said:
If you think that the Church has lots of resources for same-sex attracted people, I don’t know what world you’re living in.
Click to expand...
What do you suggest?

This keeps coming back up. There are responses from across the board but none ever seems satisfactory to the OP.
Fets said:
Idk what New Ways Ministry is. Are they pro gay movement? Gay sex is ok?
Click to expand...
Yes. It goes to show there is actually a wide range of groups out there.

And that doesn’t only leave those groups and individuals for a wide range of support.

If it’s not satisfactory, why not start one’s own group? It’s not hard to do this at the parish level.
 
Last edited:
HumbleIOughtToBe said:
Should they go after you, remember this act could be compared to you being martyred
Click to expand...
Last time I checked, Church Militant is going after corruption in the hierarchy, not after individual Catholics.

The OP has a history of posting about them which seems to add to her anxiety.

My advice is that if it makes her anxious, she should stop accessing their website.

I take the same approach with media that I know will set me off. I just don’t access it.
 
0331 said:
If it’s not satisfactory, why not start one’s own group? It’s not hard to do this at the parish level.
Click to expand...
I’ve often wondered this. For gay Catholics, what resources would you like to see that don’t exist? Does Courage not help?

I’m not being snarky here, I’m genuinely interested in hearing what’s “good” group would look like.
 
GhostOfBBM said:
I’ve often wondered this. For gay Catholics, what resources would you like to see that don’t exist? Does Courage not help?
Click to expand...
I think Courage helps many same-sex attracted people – though not all that many women. But Courage does not have an approach that’s going to be effective in our society. Much of what Courage does resembles a 12-step-group for sex addicts. And sure, we need to provide Catholic help for sex addicts, straight or gay. But there’s a lot more to this topic.

Increasingly, gay Catholics aren’t going to be willing to be “anonymous sufferers” of “same-sex attraction”. They’re going to be gay people who want to find a way to be open and casual about their sexuality without violating Church teaching. I’m not even defending that – I’m just saying it’s a fact. The Church has no organization to support such people. Moreover, it’s not clear how you would start a group of such people, since it’s more common to find people who totally reject Church teaching than those who accept it but don’t feel like being closeted.
 
Prodigal_Son said:
Increasingly, gay Catholics aren’t going to be willing to be “anonymous sufferers” of “same-sex attraction”. They’re going to be gay people who want to find a way to be open and casual about their sexuality without violating Church teaching. I’m not even defending that – I’m just saying it’s a fact.
Click to expand...
I wonder if having a group of openly gay but chaste people would be counterproductive. If the goal is to get to a place where gay Catholics just feel integrated into the rest of the Church and not viewed as some kind of weird group that needs to be quarantined, maybe forming a special group would actually be the wrong move.
 
GhostOfBBM said:
I wonder if having a group of openly gay but chaste people would be counterproductive. If the goal is to get to a place where gay Catholics just feel integrated into the rest of the Church and not viewed as some kind of weird group that needs to be quarantined, maybe forming a special group would actually be the wrong move.
Click to expand...
I somewhat agree. I don’t think that there should be some group (a la Dignity) that ciphons people off into “gay Catholicism” – as if that were a thing! No, but I do think there should be a lot more people being CHILL about the whole thing, and having the attitude, “Gosh, that seems like a challenge. Just know that we’re praying for you, and come on over Tuesday for some stir fry.”
 
There are a lot of people who have this attitude, there’s just no “group” or official designation. The vast majority of people I know, anyway, wouldn’t care in the slightest about being friends with an LGBT person.
 
You’re right about that, but these people are more rare the more conservative the parish. In many very conservative parishes – which I prefer for most things – people who casually mentioned they were gay would be lectured, or the like.
 
Well we’re just going to have to agree to disagree. I am a Christian and I go to mass as well as RCIA each week. And no, when I say I am gay I am telling you about an aspect of myself. This is a common problem I see from other Catholics and it really smacks of being high handed. Saying I am gay is not the same thing as actually having sexual relationships with other members of the same sex. I’m using terminology I think best describes my personal situation as a Christian.

The truth is that I’m a person that happens to be gay but upholds Church teachings on sexual ethics. Once again, to say that I am gay is not “labeling” all of who or what I am. That’s an imposition that you’ve put onto me that I do not consent to.
 
Gab123 said:
A man can call himself anything he wants; he can even call himself a lady and demand that others call him a she ; but what I’m saying is that it’s a rotten idea to label one’s self by worldly definitions, as it goes completely against the gospel.
Click to expand...
Would this apply to calling oneself a “Republican”, or a “Marxist”, or a “pro-lifer”, too?
 
GhostOfBBM said:
I’ve often wondered this. For gay Catholics, what resources would you like to see that don’t exist? Does Courage not help?
Click to expand...
It’s helpful for some. But for someone like myself it wouldn’t be. I don’t need constant reminding of chastity in the form of a 12 step program. I understand it’s not the intent of the Church but It can be a little insulting and tone deaf. Courage doesn’t want people to be open about their sexuality at all under any circumstances, that to me seems like going down a path of lying to people I will come to know and meet. I’m not saying I’d announce it to everyone I meet, but if I start becoming friends with someone and the question of relationships come up I’m going to have to explain why I’m single. And I wouldn’t want this person to start trying to set me up with women when I know that I can’t have a romantic relationship with a woman.

I understand that I’m not called to be married, don’t remind me of that. And that’s what Courage a lot of the time does. I think Courage would be better if it didn’t try to stop people from being open and honest about the cross they have to carry simply because it is a very uncomfortable one to discuss. I don’t want my cross to be treated as if it is this thing that can’t be talked about in casual conversation with others
 
And Catholics that happen to be gay shouldn’t be lectured because it seems like the person lecturing thinks that the person who happens to be gay is unaware of Church teaching
 
OnAJourney said:
because it is a very uncomfortable one to discuss.
Click to expand...
I wonder if this is going to diminish as time goes on. For most people, even people who agree that sex between people of the same gender is wrong, don’t really find homosexuality to be a particularly awkward or taboo topic. It’s pretty mundane really. If someone tells me they’re gay, I don’t immediately get all awkward or uncomfortable, and I would find someone who is uneasy around gay people kind of weird.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top