At what age is it weird to be single?

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  1. Lol. But seriously it is not so simple as to slap an age on it. If you are single with no dating prospects and actively looking then a couple years of that begins to be in the odd category.
 
Um. . . Never? Are priests and nuns weird or sad? How about the many people who lost a fiancé or fiancée and remained faithful to their memory? How about the people who never found someone they wished to marry? Or who did, but had other obligations —a sick parent or other relative, or the need to keep food on the table for same—and simply had no opportunity ever to meet, court, or marry? Or couldn’t or wouldn’t marry someone and bring them into terrible poverty or hardship? Were they supposed to just marry somebody, anybody, just so they could ‘not be weird or sad appearing to other people because they weren’t married?”

It might be a good idea to ponder why you (or a ‘thought experiment’ or a hypothetical) would care about how what some other person thinks ‘weird’ or ‘sad’.

Because suppose you did marry because you thought, “oh no, I’m 29 already, people will think I’m weird or sad”, and then your spouse made your life (and possibly the lives of your children) an absolute nightmare. You might well then sigh, “Why did I ever get married? Now I don’t have to worry about looking weird or sad for being ‘old’ and unmarried; everybody thinks I look weird and sad—and they are absolutely right—because I married badly.’
 
Never. Honestly, sometimes we just gradually become aware that we are not called to marriage, and we adapt. I hang out with two friends in their 70s who have never married, and we’re just good friends. People like me know one another at church, we are friendly, and there is kind of an unspoken respect for our vocation or lack thereof.

Believe me, I tried everything. I was a serial monogamist with no intention of marrying. I endured two abortions with two mothers who I could’ve married instead. I endured heartbreaking loneliness and homelessness. I rejoined the Church, I received Confirmation and I made several futile attempts to discern the diaconate or religious life. None of them are for me.

I am currently living my single vocation with all my heart. I work, I participate in catechetical ministry, I am a Knight of Columbus. It is very fulfilling and far from being weird or silly. I love my life and I do not consider myself “less” or “empty” because I lack a wife or family.
 
I don’t think it is ever weird to be single. What would be weird and concerning to me is someone getting into a relationship out of desperation and ending up in an unhappy marriage as a result.
 
Age is irrelevant, here. Several of my family members have been bachelors, including my brother. There are all kinds of reasons why someone might never marry. There shouldn’t be any stigma attached to that.And people shouldn’t judge.
 
St Paul says its best NOT to marry (stay single) and he also advises widows not to remarry. I think theres a spirit like a demonic spirit that tries to tell us being single is miserable lonely and has to do more with being socially undesirable and rejected but thats not always true. Actually many “single” people are happy as they are and being married may make someone happier and more financially stable, while offering meaningful activities like raising children, which can be comforting, so it may be something to consider. A single life especially for a woman can be very confusing. Women are not designed to be just out there with no support. Fathers who used to be there for their grown daughters just arent there anymore. What is an adult woman to do?

. . . .

Many feminine jobs have been undermined in favor of these high powered corporate jobs for women. Theres nothing wrong for example by being a maid, nanny, or other feminine job. These women in suits are destroying our country.

Not sure what your goal is but if you want to get married, and feel its your vocation, you may have to make some steps like for example going on catholic match or asking your local parish to be a matchmaker. Yes its embarrassing but its hard to get married without taking some steps. You always have the right of refusal and make a list of the qualities you want. For example do you want to marry someone who goes to daily mass. Do you want to find someone who loves holy hour or trips to basilicas. Try to find a sober spouse. It seems so obvious but the devil can quickly infiltrate and blind you so keep guard and dont pick the handsomest guy. Its much better to choose a holy man.

If you plan to stay single then of course just be as you are. Sometimes boredom can cause us to stray off course and do silly things. Maybe you just need a new activity to keep you going or a ministry. Theres always ways to give, no matter what state we are in either married single widowed- its all temporary thats why St Paul says if you are married live as though you aren’t (meaning keep seeking God as our highest objective). May God bless you!

Ps. Wrote this in regards to a single women but for a man i do not have the knowledge about it.
 
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Saintphilomena said:
A single woman in todays world is very difficult. Women dont often know a lot about for example saving up for a home. They often cant work the crazy long hours a man can. A woman may be hit on, having to defend herself from proposals she doesnt want. A convent in this case is more appropriate.
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Are you for real? That is the most ridiculous thing I have read on CAF in a long time.
 
Saintphilomena said:
A woman may be hit on, having to defend herself from proposals she doesnt want
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I never had this problem. Must be my resting b**** face.
Saintphilomena said:
A convent in this case is more appropriate.
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No convent would want me with my resting b face.

Seriously speaking, if you were to try joining a convent and your reason for joining is that you failed to marry, I doubt they will accept you. Desire to serve God as a consecrated religious should be the reason not the failure to get married.
 
It’s not weird unless you make it weird. If you become a recluse who sits in a dark room on your computer all day, that’s not great. But there are plenty of single people with active social lives who don’t come across as “weird.”
 
RolandThompsonGunner said:
It’s not weird unless you make it weird. If you become a recluse who sits in a dark room on your computer all day, that’s not great. But there are plenty of single people with active social lives who don’t come across as “weird.”
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I resemble that remark.

I revel in being weird and the older I get, the weirder I get.

Weird is good.
 
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Saintphilomena said:
A single woman in todays world is very difficult. Women dont often know a lot about for example saving up for a home. They often cant work the crazy long hours a man can. A woman may be hit on, having to defend herself from proposals she doesnt want. A convent in this case is more appropriate.
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Incredibly patronizing, just plain wrong, and sounds like a viewpoint from about 1890.
 
I think in regards to the poster. It’s weird if you are 29, have been actively looking for a relationship for years and can’t seem to find one. It’s completely not weird if you just came off of a relationship, are between relationships or just plain old aren’t that interested in pursuing a relationship. One thing I don’t understand though is this culture of perpetual singleship where it is somehow hard in this age of transportation and technology to find a mate.
 
I saw a TV show about the lives of servants during Victorian times and it involved incredibly long hours, 16+ hours a day.

Not all servants at that time were genteel governesses.
 
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