Attracted to someone not your spouse?

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rayne89

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Have you ever been attracted to someone other than your spouse since you’ve been married?
 
I voted: yes, I am a man.

The No, I am a man, is an oxymoron. It should be changed to: No, I am and always have been a saint.

Uh, Is that you hun?
 
what a simple question.yes, I’m a man
I’m not married yet. often attracted to other females but those’re temptations not sins. just that
 
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JamesD:
I voted: yes, I am a man.

The No, I am a man, is an oxymoron. It should be changed to: No, I am and always have been a saint.

Uh, Is that you hun?
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:whistle:
 
I’ve discovered that as I get older and as my wife get older, our appearances are obviously changing. I’ve got more bagage around the waist. The Mrs has more bagaage around the hips & thighs. What little is left of my hair is turning gray. The wife is complaining about wrinkles and flabby bodyparts. Etc.

Yet, I find myself more attracted to my wife than ever before. While I considered my wife pretty when I married her, 10-15 years ago she couldn’t compare to a Miss Universe contestant. Today, it’s the other way around. Even without any make-up, I consider her to be more beautiful than all of the Miss Universe contestant COMBINED. I’ve got photos of my wife all over my office, computer, EVERYWHERE.

Strange how my perception of “beauty” has changed over the years.
 
Sir Knight - is your wife on the boards? Are you trying to score brownie points? 🙂

If not, that is AWESOME that you feel that way. Can I ask if she truly knows you feel this way? How do you let her know? I had three kids in less than 2 years, so my body is NOT what is was. My husband always says I’m beautiful, but it’s kind of hard to believe that he really does think it, and isn’t just saying it to be nice.
 
AirForceMama,
  • … is your wife on the boards? Are you trying to score brownie points? … *
My wife is not on the boards. As a matter of fact, she rarely even touches the computer so I’m not trying to score brownie points with her by saying what I said.
  • … Can I ask if she truly knows you feel this way? … *
Not really sure. I do stare at her a LOT just admiring how beautiful she looks but when she catches me doing it, she tells me to stop because it annoys her to be stared at.
  • … How do you let her know … *
I do give her compliments but I can tell that it embarasses her and makes her feel uncomfortable so I try not to over do it.
  • … My husband always says I’m beautiful, but it’s kind of hard to believe that he really does think it, and isn’t just saying it to be nice … *
Without knowing your husband, I can’t answer that. Some men will say that to either score brownie point or just because they want their wives to feel better while other men honestly mean it.

Seriously speaking, my wife could walk into a room after just waking up and with no make-up on and I would rather look at her than a whole fleet of Miss Universe contestants. Now, 10-15 years ago, that wasn’t the case.

While her physical beauty may have lessen over the years as she’s gotten older, in my eyes she has grown beautiful beyond belief. Even little things that she considers to be imperfections, I now find attractive on her.
 
This comes from a signle guy. I love my gf and we have a healthy realationship. From time to time I do find myself admiring other women. I then catch myself of course, but the temptation is always present.
 
On occassions that I may be distracted by a woman I think is attractive, I do a couple of things. I praise God for her beauty as God made her. I think of how she reflects both God’s beauty and my wife’s beauty. I say a prayer for her and hope that if she’s married she has a happy marriage and if single she finds someone who will treat her well. I then say a prayer of thanksgiving to God for the wife and family I have been blessed with and then I move on.
 
Sir Knight - your wife is TRULY blessed! I hope my husband will learn to look on me with those eyes!
 
In my opinion first comes attraction and then comes love. As love grows attraction remains but may become less of a determinant of feelings as love takes over. I am 69 years old and my wife has borne me six children. Like Sir Knight and his wife our bodies are not what you might call youthful, yet the eyes seem over time to see through a curtain of love and the attraction if you will remains, but is somehow changed from that first flush of rushing hormones to something far better. Yes over a lifetime I have had flashes of hormonal mediated attraction to other gals, but the secret is to not fanticise over what is not yours and to put that energy into loving your spouse. Sir Knight has oviously brought this skill to a point of excellence. Indeed his wife is very blessed and so is he. 🙂
 
The testimonies of Sir Knight & rwoekme remind me of the story The Velveteen Rabbit. It is nice to know that I have this to look forward to with *my Beloved *! :love:
 
These reason I posted the question is on another thread a women admitted to being attracted to a man other than her spouse. She was clear she had no intention of acting on it, she never allows herself to be alone with a man other than her husband, and her husband was a good guy and they had a good marriage.

Many people flipped and insisted she practically on the verge of adultery. I see from the results so far that men lead in the pole (big surprise;) ) but is this some kind of double standard? Is it ok for a man to feel an attraction to women not his wife? But if a women feels an attraction to a man other than her husband she’s practically an adulteress?

Anyway I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut and honesty.
 
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rayne89:
These reason I posted the question is on another thread a women admitted to being attracted to a man other than her spouse. She was clear she had no intention of acting on it, she never allows herself to be alone with a man other than her husband, and her husband was a good guy and they had a good marriage.

Many people flipped and insisted she practically on the verge of adultery. I see from the results so far that men lead in the pole (big surprise;) ) but is this some kind of double standard? Is it ok for a man to feel an attraction to women not his wife? But if a women feels an attraction to a man other than her husband she’s practically an adulteress?

Anyway I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut and honesty.
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This is just my opinion, but I think it is acceptable for men to be attracted to other women, but I think women feel that by being attracted to a man she isn’t married to, that somehow she is betraying her husband. Just because a woman is attracted to someone doesn’t mean she’s going to have an affair. Just as when a man is attracted to another women, one doesn’t automatically assume that he’s going to have an affair. I think that there’s still this ancient idea that women are not sexual beings, and men are nothing but sexual beings, so it’s okay for men but not women.

And in answer to your poll, yes, I’ve been attracted to men other than my husband, but you already knew that.

Personally, I felt raked over the coals. It would’ve saved time if they’d just called me a “whore” and gotten it over with.

Scout :tiphat:
 
Well, as the old joke goes, I may be married but I’m not dead.😃

Feeling attraction is morally neutral. What you do about it is what counts.
 
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Pinklady:
Well, as the old joke goes, I may be married but I’m not dead.😃

Feeling attraction is morally neutral. What you do about it is what counts.
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Amen!!! 🙂 😃 👍 :yup: :clapping: :dancing: and Thank You!

Scout :tiphat:
 
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Scout:
…Personally, I felt raked over the coals. It would’ve saved time if they’d just called me a “whore” and gotten it over with. Scout :tiphat:
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What a load of garbage. I posted on your thread and read all the other posts. No one even came close to such name calling. Quite to the contrary, almost everyone who wrote empathized with you and shared their own experience of dealing with this very common challenge. They also offered you the truth–in the form of solid advice about some tough changes you need to make to assure that your marriage remains intact and you protect yourself from sin. I think that’s the part you didn’t care for. Even you came to the thread knowing you were in trouble. What in the world did you expect from a post on a Catholic website!!! Encouragement to follow your feelings no matter where they led you?
 
Island Oak:
What a load of garbage. I posted on your thread and read all the other posts. No one even came close to such name calling. Quite to the contrary, almost everyone who wrote empathized with you and shared their own experience of dealing with this very common challenge. They also offered you the truth–in the form of solid advice about some tough changes you need to make to assure that your marriage remains intact and you protect yourself from sin. I think that’s the part you didn’t care for. Even you came to the thread knowing you were in trouble. What in the world did you expect from a post on a Catholic website!!! Encouragement to follow your feelings no matter where they led you?
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Well, that’s just your opinion. Since I was the one it was addressed to, I am completely within my right to express how I FELT. And yes, there were a couple who sympathized with the situation and showed some compassion, but I would hardly categorize you as one of them. You told me I wasn’t a real woman-how unsympathetic and unChristian can you get? You weren’t trying to help, you were trying to berate me into doing what you thought I needed to do. So, please don’t tell me what I feel is a load of garbage. :mad:

Scout :tiphat:
 
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