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water
Guest
I wore my pants inside out, and I didn’t want to leave the church until my mom asked a religious sister turned off all lights.
I was only 4 back then.
I was only 4 back then.
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dixieagle
Guest
This thread is great!
I attended Catholic school in the late fifties and sixties, and we often went to the parish church for Mass, Benediction, Stations of the Cross, etc. One day when we were all in church together I was kneeling in the pew in front of the Sister who was our teacher. She decided the occasion called for a hymn, and tapped me on the shoulder, directing me to begin the singing. I was frozen with terror; I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket and was horribly shy, as well. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me. I remember trying to decide which fate would be worse - embarrassing myself by trying to sing, offkey, or defying Sister. At that age (about 10, I guess) fear of revealing my dreadful voice in front of my peers trumped any fear I had of Sister. After a very long and painful silence, she started the singing herself. Whew.
At our older daughter’s wedding 3 years ago, the bridesmaids had processed in, two priests were waiting at the Cathedral altar, and the first notes of the Trumpet Voluntary sounded. At this point, two ushers were to open the huge center wooden doors, revealing the beautiful bride and her proud but emotional Dad. (The guests and bridesmaids had used doors just to the side of the main doors.) However, though the two ushers pulled mightily, the doors didn’t budge; the sacristan had forgotten to unlock them! It was all I could do not to run down the center aisle and try to solve the problem. One of the ushers kept pulling on the handle, to the point where I envisioned the heavy, 150 year old doors collapsing on him in a heap. The other usher had the presence of mind to quietly walk to the nearby side door and alert my daughter and husband as to what had happened. As my daughter has a somewhat offbeat sense of humor, she, unlike I, thought this was hilarious. It definitely broke any tension she and my husband might have felt and they both grinned and giggled all the way down the aisle. We have this all on tape, and a great photo of the bridesmaids in open-mouthed horror. It’s just as well there are no photos of me, as they would not have been pretty! You can be sure that the very first order of business for the groomsmen when they arrive at our younger daughter’s upcoming wedding will be to make darn sure the doors have been unlocked!
I attended Catholic school in the late fifties and sixties, and we often went to the parish church for Mass, Benediction, Stations of the Cross, etc. One day when we were all in church together I was kneeling in the pew in front of the Sister who was our teacher. She decided the occasion called for a hymn, and tapped me on the shoulder, directing me to begin the singing. I was frozen with terror; I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket and was horribly shy, as well. I wanted the floor to open and swallow me. I remember trying to decide which fate would be worse - embarrassing myself by trying to sing, offkey, or defying Sister. At that age (about 10, I guess) fear of revealing my dreadful voice in front of my peers trumped any fear I had of Sister. After a very long and painful silence, she started the singing herself. Whew.
At our older daughter’s wedding 3 years ago, the bridesmaids had processed in, two priests were waiting at the Cathedral altar, and the first notes of the Trumpet Voluntary sounded. At this point, two ushers were to open the huge center wooden doors, revealing the beautiful bride and her proud but emotional Dad. (The guests and bridesmaids had used doors just to the side of the main doors.) However, though the two ushers pulled mightily, the doors didn’t budge; the sacristan had forgotten to unlock them! It was all I could do not to run down the center aisle and try to solve the problem. One of the ushers kept pulling on the handle, to the point where I envisioned the heavy, 150 year old doors collapsing on him in a heap. The other usher had the presence of mind to quietly walk to the nearby side door and alert my daughter and husband as to what had happened. As my daughter has a somewhat offbeat sense of humor, she, unlike I, thought this was hilarious. It definitely broke any tension she and my husband might have felt and they both grinned and giggled all the way down the aisle. We have this all on tape, and a great photo of the bridesmaids in open-mouthed horror. It’s just as well there are no photos of me, as they would not have been pretty! You can be sure that the very first order of business for the groomsmen when they arrive at our younger daughter’s upcoming wedding will be to make darn sure the doors have been unlocked!
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Melanie01
Guest
…do you remember in the old days for the Feast of All Souls, me being at the parochial school and galloping through the prayers and formula to help the souls in purgatory…it was very much a childs take on the indulgence for the faithful on the day…I think you had to exit and re-enter the church …wierd but innocent…
…and being desperate to hurry up and be big enough to go to Holy Communion with the big people
…and being desperate to hurry up and be big enough to go to Holy Communion with the big people
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ChinaDad
Guest
Just a few months ago, reciting the prayer, “Father I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.”
My then 6yo daughter leans over and says, "Daddy? What’s the “word?”
My then 6yo daughter leans over and says, "Daddy? What’s the “word?”
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Cran
Guest
Apart from that awkward experience to let everybody pass through because you’re a convert-to-be and not allowed to receive communion yet (but we changed that - those people can go up now and receive a blessing like the young children 
) I can add from my experience as altar… uhm girl. Naturaly, I started serving after my conversion with 23 because there was and is a real need for the masses during week and saturday evenings.
So I started serving, and an older server told me: On saturday, we will serve together and I’ll teach you how to do it properly. He never turned up, and I was alone - our priest said: We do it anyway… and ended up muttering instructions to me throug the whole service. He wasn’t to pleased, neither was the congregation.
At the assumpton this year, our new (and young) priest forgot to wash his hands because he was so busy with the incense - and I just stood there looking confused with everything ready in my hands… bu he noticed and came back to me, and was really embarassed, and even more so during the elevation of the host, when the thuriferar kept going and going and going… because he was waiting for the priest to lower the host and the priest in turn was waiting for him to stop! so this went on until I put a stop to my fellow server.
Once was our bishop there for confirmation, and I served navikular, and walked in front of him until somebody told me I should have stayed at my place - and before mass, I had made a great fuss in the vestry because there was nothing fitting me (was in our neighbour-parish, we have confirmation together). What he must have thought!!!
Mr. Guballa, if you are reading here: Normally I am NOT like that and my latin has picked up too, really!!!
Another time, I was didn’t put the cross we’re using for processions properly back in place, and it fell down during the readings - you can still see the dent
And serving thuriferar, I mananged to have the coals come out flying - ARGH!!! I was really in a bad state that evening, but I had better refrained from serving. You can still see those marks on the carpet, too. Luckily, an other altar boy made the same one week earlier during a procession for the whole town to see, and another followed suit the next morning, so we will get another carpet
During easter time,we had two very young boys serving, and they forgot to go up to the altar (during the beginning, the servers sit some distance away) and everybody was waiting for them until I got up and told them to get a move on - likewise, another pair of them forgot to fetch the bread.
I am surprised the people at my parish still talk to me and often express that I am “such a nice altar girl”!
) I can add from my experience as altar… uhm girl. Naturaly, I started serving after my conversion with 23 because there was and is a real need for the masses during week and saturday evenings.So I started serving, and an older server told me: On saturday, we will serve together and I’ll teach you how to do it properly. He never turned up, and I was alone - our priest said: We do it anyway… and ended up muttering instructions to me throug the whole service. He wasn’t to pleased, neither was the congregation.
At the assumpton this year, our new (and young) priest forgot to wash his hands because he was so busy with the incense - and I just stood there looking confused with everything ready in my hands… bu he noticed and came back to me, and was really embarassed, and even more so during the elevation of the host, when the thuriferar kept going and going and going… because he was waiting for the priest to lower the host and the priest in turn was waiting for him to stop! so this went on until I put a stop to my fellow server.
Once was our bishop there for confirmation, and I served navikular, and walked in front of him until somebody told me I should have stayed at my place - and before mass, I had made a great fuss in the vestry because there was nothing fitting me (was in our neighbour-parish, we have confirmation together). What he must have thought!!!
Mr. Guballa, if you are reading here: Normally I am NOT like that and my latin has picked up too, really!!!Another time, I was didn’t put the cross we’re using for processions properly back in place, and it fell down during the readings - you can still see the dent
And serving thuriferar, I mananged to have the coals come out flying - ARGH!!! I was really in a bad state that evening, but I had better refrained from serving. You can still see those marks on the carpet, too. Luckily, an other altar boy made the same one week earlier during a procession for the whole town to see, and another followed suit the next morning, so we will get another carpet
During easter time,we had two very young boys serving, and they forgot to go up to the altar (during the beginning, the servers sit some distance away) and everybody was waiting for them until I got up and told them to get a move on - likewise, another pair of them forgot to fetch the bread.
I am surprised the people at my parish still talk to me and often express that I am “such a nice altar girl”!
T
thann
Guest
One Sunday a woman was wearing a brand new pair of slacks. How could I tell? They still had the long adhesive strip (about 1.5 x 8 inches) with her pants size prominently displayed on the back of one leg!
I agree!
This reminds me of something that happened at my wedding. I was standing at the back of the Church holding my father’s arm. The music cued for us to walk in and my father stepped off. I started to follow but the train of my dress caught on something… a carpet tack, I think. My father (who was more nervous than I and quite unaware of what was happening) was pulling me forward but the dress was holding me back.I didn’t know what to do. I’m sure it wasn’t even a whole second but time always seems to last forever in such moments. So I just kicked out behind me as hard as I could in the direction that seemed to be stuck. Fortunately that worked. The dress came loose (without tearing) and I was able to make my way up the aisle.
Only a few people along the center aisle had seen what had happened. The priest definitely saw because when I got to the front he leaned over and asked me if my dress had gotten stuck.
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Sarabande
Guest
Here is an awkward wedding moment. I’m a musician so I have to sing for a lot of weddings. At one particular wedding, a female guest during the preludes began to walk down the aisle. We were up in the loft looking down. The woman’s gown must have been too tight or had a loose zipper. As she walked down, the zipper went all the way down to the end of her back for all to see. I can only imagine how mortified she was.
I just remembered this one and with good reason I put this out of my memory. A few of years ago, I forget which special day it was, but I had to chant the sequence. I had never done this before and got nervous about when to start it. This was also one of the first few times I had cantored in the cathedral. I always sang in the choir, but it’s a lot different being in the loft in the back. You feel like saying, “I’m not worthy!” when you’re in there. Of course, my nerves got the best of me and I began the sequence at the wrong time. Father, God bless him, walked over to me while I was chanting and stopped me, telling me when to chant the sequence. I was soooo embarrassed. He gave me the cue that time around and I was fine, but I’m sure my face was totally red and my clothes were soaked from my nerves.
I just remembered this one and with good reason I put this out of my memory. A few of years ago, I forget which special day it was, but I had to chant the sequence. I had never done this before and got nervous about when to start it. This was also one of the first few times I had cantored in the cathedral. I always sang in the choir, but it’s a lot different being in the loft in the back. You feel like saying, “I’m not worthy!” when you’re in there. Of course, my nerves got the best of me and I began the sequence at the wrong time. Father, God bless him, walked over to me while I was chanting and stopped me, telling me when to chant the sequence. I was soooo embarrassed. He gave me the cue that time around and I was fine, but I’m sure my face was totally red and my clothes were soaked from my nerves.
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DL82
Guest
Back when I was Anglican I used to worship in a very High Anglican church, not unlike a Catholic mass.
During the consecration one time, I remember one young boy looking up at the crucifix, which had Christ suffering in nothing more than a loincloth, and asked his mum, who was holding him in her arms:
“Mum, did Jesus have a willy?”
The poor embarrassed mum tried hard to shush the kid, but he kept asking louder and louder. Eventually, one of the Readers came over and answered the question, and the kid was entirely quiet and well behaved after that.
I guess everybody has a moment in their lives when they realise the full humanity of Our Lord.
During the consecration one time, I remember one young boy looking up at the crucifix, which had Christ suffering in nothing more than a loincloth, and asked his mum, who was holding him in her arms:
“Mum, did Jesus have a willy?”
The poor embarrassed mum tried hard to shush the kid, but he kept asking louder and louder. Eventually, one of the Readers came over and answered the question, and the kid was entirely quiet and well behaved after that.
I guess everybody has a moment in their lives when they realise the full humanity of Our Lord.
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happyseppy
Guest
Wow, this has been 1000 times better than “Funniest Home Videos”
It made me remember lots of things, but the ones that stand out are:
Peace,
Kelly
It made me remember lots of things, but the ones that stand out are:
- When I was around 4 or 5 ys. old Iwas at a supermarket with my mother and there was a nun there shopping as well. Well, I wasn’t raised Catholic ( I am a convert), but I knew what nuns were, just couldn’t conjure up the right word…what I came out with was…" look, Mom…, a …Nothing!"
- this one is not extreme, but cute…I also cantor, and once after singing Panis Angelicus, (note now that there has not been an overabundance of Latin in my parish), a woman came up to me afterward and said, “that was beautiful, the one you sang in French.” Or maybe my pronunciation was bad…hmm…
Peace,
Kelly
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CarrieH
Guest
On the topic of wedding mishaps, this didn’t take place during Mass but instead took place at an outdoor Protestant wedding. Even so, it takes first prize as my weirdest wedding experience in 30+ years of playing these events. I was playing with a small instrumental group which was hired for the occasion, and once the bridesmaids arrived, it seemed that we played forever before the bride arrived. Why was she late? She and the maid of honor were to come in via horse-drawn carriage, but on the way from the lodge to the clearing, the horse suddenly became ill and dropped dead! :bigyikes: If that were my wedding, I think I might have taken that as a bad omen, but the wedding took place as planned and the pastor incorporated some words about “surviving adversity together” in his homily. Fortunately, we musicians weren’t told until afterwards why the bride was tardy, or we might have lost our composure. And I will never again hear the Pachebel “Canon” (the piece we were playing as we waited for the bride) without remembering the dead-horse wedding!
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lak611
Guest
Did they find a replacement horse, or did the bride arrive in a “horseless carriage” (aka motorcar)?
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Tim_c
Guest
Today during announcement father said “enrollment for the 1907-1908 school year is still taking place.” Made me giggle.
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CarrieH
Guest
The horse-driver called one of the bride’s relatives on their cell phone, and they sent someone to rescue her. At least she didn’t have to walk 1/2 mile to the wedding site in those shoes! So cell phones at such events aren’t all bad!
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kell0618
Guest
At the first school Mass this year, the kindergarten teacher took the children early so that they could learn a little bit about what to do in church, etc. She had them lined up and was showing them how to dip one finger in the holy water and cross themselves. One little boy peeked into the church and said to his little friend, “WOW! Look at all the trophies they’ve got in there!”
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Kanda
Guest
I had an awkward moment last week. I decided not to receive communion because, well, the because isn’t important. Everyone goes up for a blessing though, so out I went with everyone. The EMHC was intent on giving me the Eucharist. I had my hands in the ‘blessing’ position, just like my children. I shook my head no when he tried to give it to me and mouthed, “No, not today” Then he tried to shove it in my mouth! 
So, as nice as I think everyone going forward is, either for communion or blessing, I think I will opt out if I do not feel like I should be receiving.
So, as nice as I think everyone going forward is, either for communion or blessing, I think I will opt out if I do not feel like I should be receiving.
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Gearoidin
Guest
LOL That’s cute!At the first school Mass this year, the kindergarten teacher took the children early so that they could learn a little bit about what to do in church, etc. She had them lined up and was showing them how to dip one finger in the holy water and cross themselves. One little boy peeked into the church and said to his little friend, “WOW! Look at all the trophies they’ve got in there!”
Gearoidin
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
Wow… that’s kind of awkward…I had an awkward moment last week. I decided not to receive communion because, well, the because isn’t important. Everyone goes up for a blessing though, so out I went with everyone. The EMHC was intent on giving me the Eucharist. I had my hands in the ‘blessing’ position, just like my children. I shook my head no when he tried to give it to me and mouthed, “No, not today” Then he tried to shove it in my mouth!
So, as nice as I think everyone going forward is, either for communion or blessing, I think I will opt out if I do not feel like I should be receiving.
I know that most people receiving via the mouth usually have their hands in the pray position, and those getting a blessing either have their hands crossed over their chest, or a hand over their heart (in the case of my parish)
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Suz21
Guest
During the Good Friday Service last year, the priest were going in front of the altar to kiss the foot of the cross. There was one priest who is suffering has some kind of mental health problems I think… and he came to the front of the platform,… and genuflected before the entire congregation instead of the cross! It was horrible. Especially since our parish is huge, and thousands of people come for the Good Friday service. Some of the other priest lifted him up and helped him to his seat. Very creepy!
Something that happens quite often is little kids wandering around and getting to the front of the church… Once when I was singing in the choir a toddler came up… stared fascinatedly at the guitar and us singing… then decided to check out the altar too… one of our choir members had to run ahead and grab him… cute, but oh-so-distracting!
Something that happens quite often is little kids wandering around and getting to the front of the church… Once when I was singing in the choir a toddler came up… stared fascinatedly at the guitar and us singing… then decided to check out the altar too… one of our choir members had to run ahead and grab him… cute, but oh-so-distracting!
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
We had a small child run up onto the altar, grab a hold of Father and refuse to let go.
His mortified mother sat in the front pew waiting until he was done. Yep, he stayed up there the entire Mass.
Easter Sunday, my drama teacher woke to a pair of Wonder Woman underoos, which she wore under her Easter Dress. When she went with her mother up to communion, she pulled the front of her dress up and said “FATHER! Look what I got!”
His mortified mother sat in the front pew waiting until he was done. Yep, he stayed up there the entire Mass.
Easter Sunday, my drama teacher woke to a pair of Wonder Woman underoos, which she wore under her Easter Dress. When she went with her mother up to communion, she pulled the front of her dress up and said “FATHER! Look what I got!”
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