Awkward moments during mass

[PatienceAndLove]

Visiting priest and vocation Sunday:
Priest: “How many vocations has this parish had?”
Male voice: “In 150 years? None.” (awkward moment #1)
Priest: “What are you doing about it?”
Female voice: “Getting women ordained!” (awkward moment #2- w/in 1 minute of each other)

 

[smichhertz]

This didn’t actually happen to me, but a visiting priest told this story once:

A priest once started mass after having been miked.

The priest started mass like usual “In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” and the people responded “Amen”.
The priest then realized that his mike wasn’t working because he couldn’t hear himself so he said “There’s something wrong with the microphone” and the people automatically responded “and also with you”

priceless.

 

[Maureen1125]

At mass last weekend, the homily was on anxiety and worries and how we need to hand all our worries over to the Lord. The Priest said “We all have worries” and then he paused. During this pause my 3yr nephew says quite loudly “Nope, not me”

Another time, my daughter was laying on the pew coloring - she was maybe 2 - during the gospel reading. Well I go to sit down after the reading and I scoot her over, and she YELLS, “Don’t push me, it’s not nice” I was horrified

 

[gatewood1988]

My husband and I went to Mass last Wednesday night and we have a very tiny parish so there were only about 8 of us there for Mass. Well, I went up for communion and w my husband went up behind me to receive a blessing (he’s in RCIA) and just as I receive the Blood of Christ, I hear my husband in his already loud voice tell the decon, " only about 6 more weeks" I was horrified that the silence of the Church was broken by my husband not thinking lol. I asked him afterwards what on earth he was thinking and he said he’s just getting excited to finally partake of the Eucharist at Easter.

 

[crzdmomx5]

We attended Mass on Christmas Eve when our son, Trent, was 3 years old. We had a young priest who opted to sing the entire Liturgy of the Eucharist. Father sang most solemnly and over-extended the vowels in the words. He sang, “thiiiis iiiis myyyy bloooood, the blooood of the neeeeeew aaaand…”. At that moment, Trent turned his head up to me and shouted, “The blood of the MOON? That’s the blood of the MOON?” I tried to hush him but he continued, “Father has the blood of the moon! It’s the blood of the MOON!” :bigyikes: I had to bend down and tell him sternly, “The blood of the NEW, Trent, the blood of the NEW and everlasting covenant.” He responded by wiping his hand over his forehead and saying, “Phew, I thought he said the blood of the moon.”

 

[cajun2core]

First congratulations to anyone who has made it this far. I hope you can breath and have not hurt yourself from all of the laughing.

This happened to a friend of mine, Julie.

Keep in mind the tabernacle is located on the side wall of the church.

Julie spent the day before at a Judo tournament. As the bishop is leaving mass he pauses in the main aisle even with the tabernacle. He is facing Julie. The bishop then bows to the tabernacle. Julie promptly bows back. She was very embarrassed. As she put it, “I spent the entire day before bowing to other people. So someone bowed to me, especially a person of authority, I instinctively bowed back.”

 

[cajun2core]

Many years ago, during the second collection, when it was very quiet in the church a kid yelled out from the back “More money Maw-Maw”. Even the priest had to let out a chuckel.

 

[cajun2core]

I was about 13 or so and had been serving for quite a while. I was really cool and very good at what I did

That summer I had grown quite a bit and had totally outgrown my old cassock. We had been in away for June and July and upon returning was issued a new one. It was about two feet two long, it seemed so I pinned it up. Or at least I thought I did.

If I remember correctly it was the Feast of the Assumption and the ladies from the Altar Siciety had placed a magnificent statute of the Blessed Mother near the communion rail. It was very beautiful, very big and very heavy,

Mass went fine with no problems. I naturally was in complete sync with Father, being one of the best, heck I’ll say it, the best Altar Boy in the program. I was inspirational to behold yes I was.

We were deep into communion and in my best silent stealth movement mode was shuffling along beside Father holding my trusty paten in one hand and gripping my surplice with the other… There were three Sisters at the rail, including my soon to be principal and teacher. They were kneeling right beside and slightly in front of the magnificent statue of the Blessed Mother, which was sitting on a pedastal of some sort…

As Father started to place the Host on my soon to be principals tongue, I realized that I was too far away and took a half step so I could properly place the paten.

BIG MISTAKE

My foot got caught the cassock and… I tripped, fell over the rail and stabbed Sister right in the forehead, gashing her pretty good. As I continued falling, somersaulting would be a better word for it I took out the Sister to her right, my new teacher, who was just staring to stand up, and landed right on top of my soon to be principal… The second sister lost her footing and crashed into the magnificent statue of the Blessed Virgin, She, the statue, tottered precariously for a few seconds and then fell, landing on top of me. ) and partially on the second Sister. my new teacher.

You haven’t experienced anything until you are lying on top of an elderly Sister, did I mention she was going to be my prinicipal in the upcoming year?:bigyikes: , on the floor in front of the Communion Rail, with a two hundred pound statue of the Blessed Mother pinning you down on top of her.

I didn’t live that one down for a longtime.

And yes, it was a long school year.

That was a good one!

 

[cajun2core]

One day my young nephew was misbehaving in church. My brother tried to get him to stop but could not so he started to carry my nephew out of the church. My nephew starts screaming, “Don’t beat me Daddy”.

Just so you know, my brother never “beat” his son. A wack or two on the rear-end to get his attention yes, but never “beat” him.

 

[GloriousOrder]

I had read our Lord’s Prayer several times before attending my first Mass (a “low” weekday Mass on Tuesday, May 18, 2010 ), and assumed the amen would be in there. Praying with a strong clear voice as God designed me to do , I went along with the congregation. When they got to “but deliver us from evil”, I said “amen” rather loudly. Several people looked back at me , though they were mostly smiling for some reason.

Nothing else really pops to mind… yet.

 

[LemonAndLime]

I was at the rehearsal for my baptism and confirmation in the afternoon before the Easter Vigil. As I was going to be the first person baptised, I was invited by the Priest to practice walking up to the alter from the pews and towards the font, lean over it, and then walk back again. Me and the others were all going to take turns. However, I was looking up at the stained glass window (having never been at the front before) and had started to daydream, so when he asked me to come up I didn’t hear him at first and the Priest said something like “Come on now wake up!” and I basically had to run up. That was embarrassing moment number one.

As I walked up to the alter I genuflected (as per habit) towards the altar, yet as I looked up as I stood I noticed that the Eucharist was not there, and the Priest said in a very loud and amused voice “Now now there is no need to genuflect as the Blessed Sacrament is not there!” - and everyone else there for the rehearsal chuckled because of the way he said it.
Embarrassing moment number two.

Edit - Oh and today after Mass had finished, I decided to go and light a candle for a patient who I cared for yesterday who was dying. A Filipino woman who didn’t speak good English was just ahead of me and I waited for her to finish lighting her candle. She did, and the taper she used had a massive flame on it. Instead of blowing it out, she just placed it in the tin holding all the others. I approached to pick up a candle, and this woman who was stood beside me still praying suddenly exclaimed “It’s on fire!” Of course, her taper had lit all the others and there was a little bonfire going on inside the tin. I managed to blow it out after several attempts but all of the tapers were ruined, so I had to lit my candle by using someone else’s.

 

[odile53]

I don’t recall if I posted this in this thread, so a thousand apologies if I have already. If I haven’t, it’s worth sharing, and no disrespect is intended.

When I was a school girl, we had a priest who had an incredibly nasal voice, and no sense of pitch. He was actually pretty tone-deaf. Monsignor was usually the celebrant of the High Mass, and this was pre Vatican II. Therefore, Latin, sung. People avoided going to that Mass in defense of their eardrums. His voice was truly awful, and loud. Think of a couple of hungry Siamese cats, and you have the picture.

The parish was a newer one, and the church itself was a temporary structure. Imagine, if you will, a very big mobile home with pews and three altars, and a couple of confessional boxes. It had as much charm as the average Quonset hut. And it had no air conditioning. In the summer they kept the doors open, so people wouldn’t collapse from the heat.

One summery Sunday morning I was at the High Mass, having slept late. My parents were pretty nominal Catholics, and I got sent with the family envelope to Mass each Sunday. It was hot that day, and the doors were wide open as Monsignor caterwauled his way through the Mass.

Suddenly, we heard click-click-click on the linoleum floor, and I surreptitiously turned a little (didn’t want to get caught by the ever-vigilant Sister who used to watch for such crimes) and noted that a little dog had wandered into the church. He went halfway up the main aisle, sat down on his haunches, threw his head back, and howled long and loud as Monsignor continued to “sing” the Mass!

An usher chased after the dog, and got him by the collar. He wrestled free, ran up closer to the altar, and sat down and howled some more.

None of us could maintain reverence. It was absolutely hopeless. The entire congregation was in stitches laughing. Monsignor was even cracking a smile. Finally the dog was caught and shooed out of the church. As I think about it, I believe all the angels in heaven had the hiccups laughing over that one as well.

And here’s what a few of us thought right after that–we believed that maybe the Holy Spirit, out of charity for our parish’s collective eardrums, sent that little dog that morning to “assist” Monsignor at High Mass!

Apparently, the message got through: The following week, the assistant pastor, who had a rich baritone voice, did High Mass. Monsignor confined himself to spoken Masses from that day forward, and had the good grace and humility to lip-sync hymns!

 

[vince2paul]

OOT: I was reading this from the last page moving back to the beginning. I was very surprised to see that I started this thread back in 2007.

 

[vz71]

OK, just yesterday but worthy of this thread.

We are in Mass and the priest is running through the Eucharistic prayers.
My 3 year old daughter starts growling and barking.
I turned to do something about this, but before I had the opportunity she looks at me, puts a finger to her lips, and shushes for me to be quiet.
Then she turned back to the front and knelt down as though nothing had happened.

And of course, it would not be complete without the people around us noticing and laughing uncontrollably.

 

[IrishRush]

This didn’t actually happen to me, but a visiting priest told this story once:

A priest once started mass after having been miked.

The priest started mass like usual “In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit” and the people responded “Amen”.
The priest then realized that his mike wasn’t working because he couldn’t hear himself so he said “There’s something wrong with the microphone” and the people automatically responded “and also with you”

priceless.

This cracked me up!! I can just imagine the priest’s face!

 

[TheMc]

this didn’t actually happen to me, but a visiting priest told this story once:

A priest once started mass after having been miked.

The priest started mass like usual “in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit” and the people responded “amen”.
The priest then realized that his mike wasn’t working because he couldn’t hear himself so he said “there’s something wrong with the microphone” and the people automatically responded “and also with you”

priceless.

hahahahaha!!!

 

[IrishRush]

One odd thing that happened at mass once was with a visiting priest. He forgot to have us recite the Creed and went right into the Prayer Intentions. After they were finished, he mentioned that yes, he realized that he forgot the Creed, but we all know we believe, otherwise we wouldn’t be there, right? Caught me off guard a bit.

One other thing that happened that outright startled the heck out of me was when one of our extraordinary ministers was returning to the front of the church with the remaining hosts. As she walked up to the front, then crossed in front of the altar, I saw her eating host after host as she walked, like she was snacking from a bowl of peanuts or potato chips! I’ve never seen anything like that, before or since. That was also the last time I saw that particular extraordinary minister…

 

[Monica4316]

At still another Mass (daily Mass in my previous parish), it was a hot day, and the doors were open. A fly had perched on the edge of the chalice (after the consecration!), was apparently overcome, and fell into the Precious Blood. There was nothing for Father to do but fish it out and put it into a purificator. I’m not too sure what happened after that.

oh no!

Well, this moment was both awkward and very sad.

At a mass on our vacation (Easter Sunday), the priest was blessing everyone with holy water, and fell to the floor when he got to us. He had died of a heart attack. :cry

I’m not Catholic yet, so I always find the Eucharist just a bit awkward. I have to file out to let everyone in my row get in line, then return to my seat and kneel. Then I have to time it just right so I can walk to the other end and let the people in my row back in.

On top of that, I always wonder if the people will assume I’m Catholic and think, “Hmm, I wonder what mortal sin he’s committed.”

One of the problems I have with many modern parishes is that practically everyone goes up for Communion, but the Confession line on Saturday is so short… hmm… but at the FSSP parish I’ve been to, not everyone goes up, and there are always people going to Confession, before every Mass. I think there’s nothing wrong with not going up for Communion if you can’t for whatever reason, whether you haven’t fasted, etc. Of course, we should have the determination to never commit mortal sins! (but if we do, we should definitely go to Confession first before Communion).

In 1958, my wife’s 14 yo protestant sister attended Christmas Midnight Mass with us. Of course the Mass was the TLM. During the Mass she heard the response **“Et cum spiritu tuo” **and in a rather loud voice she said “I heard you Catholics believed in Spirits but, I didn’t know you numbered them!” as I looked for a hole to crawl in.

that is too funny!

 

[TheMc]

On top of that, I always wonder if the people will assume I’m Catholic and think, “Hmm, I wonder what mortal sin he’s committed.”

That’s why a three hour communion fast would be better, that way, people wouldn’t feel awkward about not going up.

 

[vince2paul]

On top of that, I always wonder if the people will assume I’m Catholic and think, “Hmm, I wonder what mortal sin he’s committed.”

Not me, I’ll always assume that the person might have eaten something before mass, or simply not Catholics.

I know a few people who married non-catholics, but the non-Catholic spouse always attend Mass with the family.

And of course, there is my best friend, who sometimes misses church because she oversleeps (duh!). So there are times where she won’t receive holy communion. I’ll have to drag her to the Confessional sometimes.