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Corinthians
Guest
Dancers are not exactly the same as prostitutes.
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rayne89
Guest
**2355 ***Prostitution *does injury to the dignity of the person who engages in it, reducing the person to an instrument of sexual pleasure. The one who pays sins gravely against himself: he violates the chastity to which his Baptism pledged him and defiles his body, the temple of the Holy Spirit.
Not exactly but close.
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demolitionman65
Guest
DO NOT GO!!!
My bachelor party consisted of the guys from my wedding party loading up on soda pop (oh dear!!!) and playing cards till about 1AM.
They knew that if they brought in women, I’d walk out.
My bachelor party consisted of the guys from my wedding party loading up on soda pop (oh dear!!!) and playing cards till about 1AM.
They knew that if they brought in women, I’d walk out.
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bjorn
Guest
to be fair i am sure you mean if they had brought in strippers you would have walked out as women in general are not sinful and not dangerous to be around.
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Brad
Guest
Under these conditions, I would decline to be in the wedding. The problem is that you are giving your stamp of approval on an unbreakable covenant of marriage to 2 people that do not understand what marriage is.
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CJE
Guest
Agreed. 100%. I would step down from the wedding as well. Now, that is easier said than done as your friend’s feelings are likely going to be hurt. But better your friend’s feelings get hurt than your soul get hurt.
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bigdawg
Guest
I worked as a bouncer at a gentlemens club and I saw maybe…well I never saw a girl be able to handle her husband/boyfriend ogle the dancers much less be able to handle watching a lap dance with her significant other as the recipient. I would bet that your friends “wife to be” is just trying to be “cool”.
If I were you I wouldn’t go. There will be other things going on that night besides the visit to the club. It is likely to start with a dinner. If it does, go to the dinner then bow out.
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Corinthians
Guest
Marriage is all about trust and if she trusts him enough to be OK with him going to a place like that, that says a lot.
A bouncer? Can Catholics be bouncers?
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Timidity
Guest
Congratulations! You did a good thing!
You seem like a pretty bright guy, so I bet that never for a second did you really think anyone here would say “Yeah! Go for it!” You knew before you posted that everyone here would think it was a horrible idea and try to talk you out of it.
And that’s why you really posted, was so that the kindly fellow forum posters would talk you out of it!
If only everyone listened to their conscience as much, the world would be a better place!
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Brad
Guest
It sure does. It says she either doesn’t understand what a marital covenant is or she is too fearful to put her foot down. Trust would be allowing him to go to work in a building across the street from a “club” with the expectation that he wouldn’t think of going in.
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NFPfamily
Guest
Trust? Obviously she doesn’t trust him since she is wanting to go with him to “learn some things.” That is a cover up because she doesn’t trust him and wants to witness the disgusting things that happen because she can’t handle thinking about it, not knowing. As far as her bragging about making out, most girls do that as a cover to get attention, with no actual attraction. It gives them some sort of ego boost to have guys hoot and holler (I’m guessing that this incident didn’t take place behind closed doors- it was probably in the presence of many onlookers egging it on). This couple has a lot of growing up to do. As far as the original poster’s dilemma, I would suggest adding to the agenda with a round of golf during the day, then dinner, then skip out on the rest. Your soul is too precious to gamble with this.
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Pinklady
Guest
My main dilemma is this: If someone else pays for me to have a private dance with one of the exotic dancers at this club—am I obligated to take it? If I do is this wrong? Am I committing sin by putting in money toward my friend the groom having private dances with women who are not his wife? Where do I draw the line?
What a silly question.
God gave you a brain. Use it.
What a silly question.
God gave you a brain. Use it.
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OldStNick
Guest
Thanks for the good advice on this everyone. I think I’m going to tell my friend that I can’t in good conscience be in his wedding.
As to the person who said something before about prostitutes being different than dancers----I can attest to the fact that in some cases, there’s not much difference at all. I used to have a real addiction to pornography. I used to go to clubs like this all the time. I can tell you, some of these women will do almost anything to get a tip. For an extra $5 here or there, these women will do things you didn’t think possible in a public place.
As to the person who said something before about prostitutes being different than dancers----I can attest to the fact that in some cases, there’s not much difference at all. I used to have a real addiction to pornography. I used to go to clubs like this all the time. I can tell you, some of these women will do almost anything to get a tip. For an extra $5 here or there, these women will do things you didn’t think possible in a public place.
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awalt
Guest
It’s amazing how many even non-religous men will think twice about this if you maake it more personal, like “How would you feel if your daughter met a man that convinced her to perform at one of these clubs?”
- changes the perception of this “innocent” fun entirely…
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Brad
Guest
For that, you have a great deal of respect from me.
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ktm
Guest
You are a real man and are doing the right thing. God bless you. God bless your friend and his fiancee. I sincerely hope they have a very happy and blessed marriage. Pray for them. Pray for those who are slated to attend this party, that they may change their minds and not go. I wouldn’t be surprised if, when someone hears you are stepping out, they will muster the courage to do the same.
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jlw
Guest
I was in a similar situation when my best man wanted to throw me a shin-dig with dancers etc.
I wasn’t even Catholic then, and I still knew, I KNEW it wasn’t right.
I insisted on an alternative. Instead we all went to a baseball game, and had a huge dinner afterwards. Plenty of wine (beer) and song, but no women.
I regretted the hangover, but nothing else. Even then, still imersed in mainstream culture, I knew the importance of fidelity!
I wasn’t even Catholic then, and I still knew, I KNEW it wasn’t right.
I insisted on an alternative. Instead we all went to a baseball game, and had a huge dinner afterwards. Plenty of wine (beer) and song, but no women.
I regretted the hangover, but nothing else. Even then, still imersed in mainstream culture, I knew the importance of fidelity!
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Gertrude
Guest
Gentlemen’s Club? No gentleman I’ve ever met would consider going to such a place, let alone allow his best friend to actively pursue mortal sin when he’s going to stand as a witness to his wedding . . . what kind of sacramental life do they hope/intend to build with THAT as their foundation?? Isn’t the divorce rate high enough? "Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance, but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” 1 Pet 1.13-15
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Genesis315
Guest
The bride is going along too!!!:bigyikes:
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Gertrude
Guest
Unbelievable; I’d unfortunately found that out about a second after my comment and updated it.
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