G
Giggly_Giraffe
Guest
She was at the neighbors bouncing on the trampoline. We can see them from our kitchen window. Her Dad was actually called into the backyard to help her little sister who was scared.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.
G
Giggly_Giraffe
Guest
No, the 7 year old is extremely bright. No, there is no urinary tract infection. The 7 year old could read at 3. She’s now reading way above her first grade level. With adults she is loving, social, and outgoing. Among peers (other kids) she doesn’t do well with and often seeks adults.
I’d imagine it was the little 5 year old who is the classic clown who got her big sister in the pee-trouble. The 5 year old has an extreme funny bone to potty humor & banna peel falls. Probably, Dad’s trama and anxiety over the keepsake made the little one try to lighten the situation by bringing humor to the situation; humor for her and her sister, not humor for Dad.
I’d imagine it was the little 5 year old who is the classic clown who got her big sister in the pee-trouble. The 5 year old has an extreme funny bone to potty humor & banna peel falls. Probably, Dad’s trama and anxiety over the keepsake made the little one try to lighten the situation by bringing humor to the situation; humor for her and her sister, not humor for Dad.
Last edited:
T
TheLittleLady
Guest
A 5 year old urinating in the living room is many things, funny is not one of them.
L
Lou2U
Guest
It’s also not normal, OP. But you don’t actually know what happened, so you need to ask.
X
Xantippe
Guest
Does your husband do regular fun one-on-one time with the kids or fun outings (like playground) with the kids?
Also, is there a disproportion in the amount of non-work time that he spends with his nuclear family versus “his parents, uncles, aunts, brother”?
Something to remember is that we need to aim for a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative when dealing with others (spouses and kids). If the ratio gets too close to 1:1, the kids are going to tune him out.
This isn’t just woo–it’s been demonstrated to be true in the workplace.
Another thing, are you the “fun” parent while your husband is the “bad guy”? If that’s so, you guys need to be more fair about who gets to be fun and who gets to discipline.
Also, is there a disproportion in the amount of non-work time that he spends with his nuclear family versus “his parents, uncles, aunts, brother”?
Something to remember is that we need to aim for a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative when dealing with others (spouses and kids). If the ratio gets too close to 1:1, the kids are going to tune him out.
This isn’t just woo–it’s been demonstrated to be true in the workplace.
Another thing, are you the “fun” parent while your husband is the “bad guy”? If that’s so, you guys need to be more fair about who gets to be fun and who gets to discipline.
E
emilysue
Guest
My 4-year-old behaves terribly for me, but is much better behaved for daddy. This is gradually improving, though, because my husband backs me up whenever he’s home. “You need to listen to your mother, or you will get a timeout.” “Mama told you not to _________. Now you have a timeout because you chose not to listen.” Etc. I had to have a conversation with my husband and let him know that I needed him to intercede sometimes, and once he started to, things gradually started to turn around.
But considering the level that things have gotten to, and the age of your children, I think you need to enlist a professional. Peeing on floors is unusual at those ages, to put it mildly, unless there are special needs (edited to add: or a history of trauma involved). It’s hard to know what’s going on, which is why I suggest a professional. This is beyond the level that an Internet forum can advise you on. Please contact a good Catholic family therapist and work together to bring peace back to your family.
Best wishes and prayers for you!
But considering the level that things have gotten to, and the age of your children, I think you need to enlist a professional. Peeing on floors is unusual at those ages, to put it mildly, unless there are special needs (edited to add: or a history of trauma involved). It’s hard to know what’s going on, which is why I suggest a professional. This is beyond the level that an Internet forum can advise you on. Please contact a good Catholic family therapist and work together to bring peace back to your family.
Best wishes and prayers for you!
Last edited:
0
0Scarlett_nidiyilii
Guest
OP, did you say in another thread that your MIL was moving in with you and here was some level of conflict over it?
Or I might be confusing you with someone else…
Or I might be confusing you with someone else…
G
goout
Guest
yes. Not to be alarming but that is potentially a sign of something more serious.A seven year old urinate on the floor and a pillow on purpose?
Okay–that level of behavior needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist sooner than later
Don’t depend on the internet. Talk to someone.
I
Irishmom2
Guest
That’s someone else.
1
1Lord1Faith
Guest
You know what’s not normal? People telling a complete stranger on the internet that their child needs professional help.
The pee pee story sounds like completely normal kid behavior, although a bit of a once in a blue moon type experience.
I’d say Dad needs to spend more time with the kids. A lot more.
The pee pee story sounds like completely normal kid behavior, although a bit of a once in a blue moon type experience.
I’d say Dad needs to spend more time with the kids. A lot more.
Last edited:
A
alice24
Guest
Well, now you do the same - teling people wgat´s normal on the internet. Boards like CAF live from people telling other people ideas even when they don´t know each other. And seeking professional help to check if someone needs help is never bad, isn´t it?The pee pee story sounds like completely normal kid behavior, although a bit of a once in a blue moon type experience.
T
teddy1
Guest
I’m sorry, that sounds pretty funny. It sounds like something straight out of a movie! I say this with all due respect.
R
Roseeurekacross
Guest
What concerns me is not the peeing on the floor. We are all going to get old or get weak bladders from having 10 babies, prostate issues and, then we might all suffer the same.
But what really concerns me is deliberately urinating on your mothers pillow.
For me that’s a huge red flag . Any way I look at it,
But what really concerns me is deliberately urinating on your mothers pillow.
For me that’s a huge red flag . Any way I look at it,
Last edited:
1
1Lord1Faith
Guest
When a person is lacking in first hand knowledge and any competency in the field, and it’s regarding children, yea, it’s bad.And seeking professional help to check if someone needs help is never bad, isn´t it?
A
alice24
Guest
I don´t see necessarily a complete lack of experience here - why do you know the posters haven´t any experience with those issues or a psychological/parental/medicinic background? And even if not, again, seeking help doesn´t harm anyone. Telling people everything is fine when it´s maybe not can do harm. The OP wouldnt have posted on a publuc forum if she wouldn´t like to hear stranger´s opinions, don´t you think?
1
1Lord1Faith
Guest
She’s seeking opinions about dad, not the mental health of her child. I think it’s disturbing to read all of these armchair physcoanalysist’s opinions about someone’s child.The OP wouldnt have posted on a publuc forum if she wouldn´t like to hear stranger´s opinions, don´t you think?
A
alice24
Guest
Well, if someone tells you a problem and you see other relevant party of it the person may not see (yet), wouldn´t it be responsible and kind to tell this person whre to look further? Why is counseling such a bad and cruel image for you?
G
gcshapero
Guest
I’m not a parent, so what I say is that of an outsider, so take this with a grain of salt.
I suspect people have already said this, but I’ll echo it; your husband needs to drop the hammer on their bad behavior and discipline them very directly. Big time.
If your kids are behaving badly and he seems to ignore it and act passive aggressively on it, then that’s a problem because it might mean they don’t respect him.
Both of you should work out a plan. Sit down together as a couple, discuss each child, their needs, their passions, and what you both need to do. Come up with a plan as far as how to discipline each one, how to show affection to each one, privileges that they have that can be taken away, etc. Perhaps speak with your priest together too.
Make sure you’re both on board and doing your part.
One book I read this year called 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson talked about in one chapter not letting your kids do anything that makes you dislike them. If they do anything that you know they ought not, even if it’s rolling their eyes, they need to know there will be consequences. They’ll learn, they’ll grow respect for their parents and love them more for it.
I know you know this, and I’m not intending to lecture – what do I know – but you have my encouragement and prayers.
I suspect people have already said this, but I’ll echo it; your husband needs to drop the hammer on their bad behavior and discipline them very directly. Big time.
If your kids are behaving badly and he seems to ignore it and act passive aggressively on it, then that’s a problem because it might mean they don’t respect him.
Both of you should work out a plan. Sit down together as a couple, discuss each child, their needs, their passions, and what you both need to do. Come up with a plan as far as how to discipline each one, how to show affection to each one, privileges that they have that can be taken away, etc. Perhaps speak with your priest together too.
Make sure you’re both on board and doing your part.
One book I read this year called 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson talked about in one chapter not letting your kids do anything that makes you dislike them. If they do anything that you know they ought not, even if it’s rolling their eyes, they need to know there will be consequences. They’ll learn, they’ll grow respect for their parents and love them more for it.
I know you know this, and I’m not intending to lecture – what do I know – but you have my encouragement and prayers.
X
Xanthippe_Voorhees
Guest
When a person is lacking in first hand knowledge and any competency in the field, and it’s regarding children, yea, it’s bad.
The behavior might happen when her husband is home but it is so concerning that it raises red flags by itself. IE. It might happen when dad is home but it may not have anything to do with dad himself. It may be behavior that is surfacing because the child is in a different situation.She’s seeking opinions about dad, not the mental health of her child. I think it’s disturbing to read all of these armchair physcoanalysist’s opinions about someone’s child.
Any psychology textbook will tell you that inappropriate urination over the age of 4 is concerning. This would not include childish actions, such as peeing in pants while playing, peeing in the corner of a room or peeing outdoors.
- A physical issue like a UTI
- A developmental issue like Autism Spectrum Disorder or Downs Syndrome
- A psychological issue that can be a precursor to mental illness.
- A red flag for abuse, especially sexual abuse.
Even if the peeing is not an issue, it is concerning that a father cannot manage his 2 children for just over a half hour. Seriously??? My 16yo friend’s daughter can manage children of that age for hours. A grown man–their father–cannot?
They are not infants, they are a preschooler and a grade schooler. By this age they should be fairly independent, easily engaged in an activity and otherwise somewhat independent in their play. The father needs parenting help badly if he cannot keep 2 children from destroying precious objects and peeing on a pillow for just over a half hour.
This woman now feels she cannot leave her husband with her children for 45 minutes!!! You have a 7year old who thinks it’s OK to roll her eyes at her father and a father who becomes unhinged when she does. When mom does try to discipline the father ignores her.
It’s a total mess and the family needs help before a child is seriously injured, mom burns out or CPS is called.
Last edited:
1
1Lord1Faith
Guest
To me, a total mess would be the father leaving his family and the kids are acting out all the time.It’s a total mess and the family needs help before a child is seriously injured, mom burns out or CPS is called.
This OP seems like normal family struggles.
- Status
- Not open for further replies.