Beach Wedding?

[EA_Man]

TAS2000:

If you research it, those couples who have an active faith life have an astonishingly lower divorce rate.

This can be said of any faith tradition; Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, etc…

Furthermore, this does nothing to explain what benefit is derived from the “safeguards” that you defend. Weren’t those same safeguards in place for the weddings of the cafeteria Catholics that you deride? Was it because the safeguards weren’t in place that these couples only attend church twice a year?

So I’ll ask the question in another way; what difference does it make WHERE the sacrament is performed? Why not a beach? Didn’t God create the beach? Can’t Jesus be present among His followers on a beach?

It seems that you’re arguing for decorum rather than from any
discernible theological or moral position.

Peace

 

[TAS2000]

You clearly are not Catholic, or you would understand that the authority of the Church is what you are denying. If we didn’t have rules, we’d have 30K protestant groups running around all making up their own rules, and none of them would agree with each other on what was right…oh wait, WE HAVE THAT NOW! Do you see my point?

Weren’t those same safeguards in place for the weddings of the cafeteria Catholics

Yes, but the cafeteria Catholics are the ones who get married on cruises, etc. and don’t follow the rules, so it wouldn’t help them much.

 

[EA_Man]

TAS2000:

You clearly are not Catholic, or you would understand that the authority of the Church is what you are denying. If we didn’t have rules, we’d have 30K protestant groups running around all making up their own rules, and none of them would agree with each other on what was right…oh wait, WE HAVE THAT NOW! Do you see my point? Yes, but the cafeteria Catholics are the ones who get married on cruises, etc. and don’t follow the rules, so it wouldn’t help them much.

You still offer no explanation about how the “safegaurds” that Deacon_Ed wrote about safegaurd anything.

How is a wedding performed inside a church any more valid sacramentally than one performed in another location? Is there some list of preferred wedding locations? Is a church better than a chapel? Is a cathedral to be preferred over a church? What about geography? Are weddings performed closer to Rome blessed more fully? How about the cleric officiating over the sacrament, does having a Bishop rather than a priest increase the prospects of marital success?

Your position seems to be that rules are beneficial simply because you have rules to follow. And what of the Catholics that were married “on a cruise”? Are you saying that they are not Catholic? Since when did the location of one’s wedding become the touchstone of orthodoxy?

Peace

 

[krokal]

Thank you EA Man. I like your questions.

I say no to this, and the question from me is why you wouldn’t have it in the House of God?

Why should I have it in the church? Why does it matter? God is everywhere.

 

[EA_Man]

gnat:

Thank you EA Man. I like your questions.

If it’s improper to conduct outdoor weddings, what about outdoor baptisms? What about the outdoor baptisms that were conducted by John the Baptist or the Apostles?

Peace

 

[EA_Man]

gnat:

Thank you EA Man. I like your questions.

Why should I have it in the church? Why does it matter? God is everywhere.

“For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

“However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. As the prophet says:
" 'Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool.
What kind of house will you build for me? says the Lord.
Or where will my resting place be?” Acts 7:48-49

Gnat,

May the Peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

 

[stbruno]

The strength of the marriage does not depend on whether a bishop, a priest or a deacon witnesses the marriage. The marriage strength is based on the willingness and the effort of the newly married to keep the vows professed before God and his body the church. God is present in a sacramental service. When ever any sacrament is performed, be it baptism, reconciliation etc…there is a meeting with Christ and Christ is making a promise to us as well to be there in good times and bad etc…A wedding is only the first day of a marriage. The Catholic church has marriage preparation…for what happens all the days from the beginning until death parts the man and woman. And the Catholic church believes in smarter marriages not starter marriages. The richness of Catholic marriages cannot be debated…If you want a Hollywood marriage that lasts hours or months…get married wherever you please, but if you want to make a real committment before God…do it in church, sacred ground before witnesses who will willingly help you in this very task. I think people think the ordnances of the church are prohibitive to their personal freedoms. But getting married in the Catholic church means that you are keeping the first commandment…Placing God above all others…When you place your desires before God’s will than you are committing a sin against this commandment. Why would you want to do this on your wedding day??? My spouse and I have been faithfully married for 25 years and recognize that the vows we took than, we repeat every day of our lives. The sacrament of marriage is not a once in lifetime reception of it…it is the daily reception of a vow made…Get marriage in church! You will never regret the graces that flow from it.

 

[EA_Man]

stbruno:

But getting married in the Catholic church means that you are keeping the first commandment…Placing God above all others…When you place your desires before God’s will than you are committing a sin against this commandment.

Marriage is a sacrament that is lived out everyday not just one day, but the ceremony must be performed in a buiding?

I can agree with the first part, no problem. But please exegete some Scripture that indicates that weddings performed out of doors do not honor God. Is there some prohibition or proscription in Scripture that I am not aware of?

Peace

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Deacon Tony560:

Solution? Have a civil ceremony on the beach followed by a wedding in the Church.

Sorry, but this is not a solution!

I realize gnat is an exploring protestant, but a Catholic should never contract a civil marriage in theory; and it is to be avoided at all costs in practice. Respectfully, that kind of attitude is just too cavalier, and what makes people think they can just do that very thing. “Oh, we’ll have it blessed later”. Yeh Right. Meantime, by the authority of the Church, those people who contract said civil marriage are not married.
Anyway, gnat, dear gnat, you and your intended COULD ask for a dispensation from the bishop, and you MIGHT get it, depending on the diocese. You could also- and this is a mighty nice idea- find a parish near a beach. There are such things. If you live in an area where there is beach, the odds are good there is a parish or oratory very near, even directly on, a beach. It is a lot easier to get permission to use another parish’s church than it is to get the dispensation for the beach in some places. You could also use beach themes in the decoration of a small oratory or church- you don’t need to use the cathedral!- and that would be nice too. But what is MOST important is the sacrament, which you and your intended confer on each other (the priest/ deacon is there as a witness to ratify your vows). Try to work in the rules, dear gnat. Please don’t into total rebellion on the first shot. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you do a little work, and keep your mind focused on what God wants.

 

[Jerusha]

Back to topic:

Wedding in church-- yes.
Reception at the beach— yes.

For real romance-- wedding night camping out at the beach.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

Deacon Tony560:

I was making a joke, but things like this have been done. A civil ceremony in park, beach, Etc. followed by Church Wedding.

You have to be careful with this kind of stuff.

I know a young military couple who found themselves on the wrong side of pregnancy (Nope, it was NOT me), and wanted to add to the problem by marrying. Neither family approved, his side actually more than hers against. The young woman was Catholic, so they went to their local Catholic chaplain.

Now then, I am almost positive the Sky Pilot was kidding when he told them, “Well, given the circumstances, why don’t you just elope?” But the young woman was already in a tizzy, having committed one mortal sin, and the young man just wanted to get married. So they did elope- with terrible, tragic consequences.

 

[krokal]

All I am asking is that, if this is what the Church requires of me, I would like to see some backup. Is there something in the Deposit of Faith about marrying on a beach? Seriously, I don’t get why this is such a big deal. Yes, marriage does matter, but where it happens isn’t important.

stbruno,

from your entire post I gather that any couple who isn’t married in a Catholic Church doesn’t have a very good marriage, is that so?

 

[CARose]

gnat:

All I am asking is that, if this is what the Church requires of me, I would like to see some backup. Is there something in the Deposit of Faith about marrying on a beach? Seriously, I don’t get why this is such a big deal. Yes, marriage does matter, but where it happens isn’t important.

stbruno,

from your entire post I gather that any couple who isn’t married in a Catholic Church doesn’t have a very good marriage, is that so?

Hi Gnat,

Welcome back to the topic. Regarding any specific teaching from the deposit of the faith stating that a marriage may not be conducted on the beach or any other specific, non-church building location, you won’t find it. What we do have is a matter of discipline, not a matter of dogma. It isn’t to suggest that God only exists in the church, or that only those who are married in a church (e.g. non-Catholic Christians) are married. It is about the fact that part of being Catholic is accepting all the teachings of the Church, including some we may not find convenient, to our liking or even some which we don’t readily understand.

On the other hand, if on close examination, we find that the church is teaching something which we cannot in good conscience agree with (e.g. we feel it is contrary to the will of God), the church would prefer, if due diligence has been done and we still cannot pursuade ourselves to take the position of the church, that we acknowledge that we are not living in accord with the church.

What I’ve found is that because the church has been founded by Christ, this challenge is an easy one for the Church to issue. If one is honest about the reasons one is unable to accept a teaching of the church, typically what one finds is that the underlying issue is related to our own personal sin. Sometimes, that sin is pride and presumption, especially when we are unwilling to submit to the authority of anyone/thing else. The sin of disobedience to another earthly, valid authority is another sin which is often associated with our unwillingness to accept the authority of the Church (e.g. did we frequently refuse the authority of our parents when growing up).

God Bless you as you explore even these topics which challenge those of us who have already accepted the Truth which is found in the Church Christ founded.

EA_Man,

I hope this also answers your questions.

CARose

 

[EA_Man]

OutinChgoburbs:

But what is MOST important is the sacrament, which you and your intended confer on each other (the priest/ deacon is there as a witness to ratify your vows).

All this does is make my point for me. The sacrament is the important, where it takes place is a NONESSENTIAL.

Jesus delievered the Sermon on the Mount outside. He was Baptized outside.

gnat,

Who is telling you that it is wrong to get married outside? God or the Catholic Church?

Is it morally wrong to have a marriage consecrated outside?
What about baptism?

Peace

 

[TAS2000]

Who is telling you that it is wrong to get married outside? God or the Catholic Church?

And this makes our point. You want to believe whatever you feel is right, and we all know “feelings” can be wrong. God placed his authority in the hands of the Catholic church. “On this rock I will build my Church” “What you hold bound on earth, will be bound in Heaven”. He gave the Church the duty and responsibility to make rules to help guide his people to their most holy state so they can join with him in Heaven. If you can’t follow the little rules, how faithful are you going to be about the big rules? You can’t pick and choose what to believe based on your own authority, and if you say why follow the Church’s rules you are really saying, why should I follow God’s appointed leader?

 

[Deacon_Ed]

Rather than duplicate an excellent answer to the questions asked here, let me point to an answer. It can be found at Catholic Exchange. BTW, Catholic Tradition (including the Deposit of Faith) is much larger than Scripture so attempts to get “proof from Scripture” are typically Protestant efforts at proof texting – something that Catholic theology does not embrace since it usually means lifting a pericope out of context.

Deacon Ed

 

[stbruno]

Thanks for this link Deacon Ed. My spouse and I do marriage prep at our parish, and I will be sharing a copy of this article with those who come to us with the very question…why can’t I …Thanks again.

 

[krokal]

Deacon Ed:

Rather than duplicate an excellent answer to the questions asked here, let me point to an answer. It can be found at Catholic Exchange.

Deacon Ed

That article is just a summary of everything in this thread. I want the “Why” for the whole idea of getting married in a church, as in, who started it, why did they do so, on what authority, with what reason?

The reasons are clear for marrying in a church, but I am seeking reasons behind that reasoning…if that makes sense.

Its not like the church is perfect.

 

[stbruno]

Perhaps you would consider spending some time studying the Catechism of the Catholic church. You can purchase a copy of it by going to the section SHOP on this very website and you can find it.
You can read the whole section on sacraments…in particular marriage. Scripture reference is footnoted in each area as well. The church is not perfect, but God is and he has given the church the authority over all the sacraments. Thank you Jesus for the sacraments. thsi is also a link that may answer some of your questions regarding the catechism.
christusrex.org/www2/kerygma/ccc/searchcat.html

 

[EA_Man]

TAS2000:

And this makes our point. You want to believe whatever you feel is right, and we all know “feelings” can be wrong. God placed his authority in the hands of the Catholic church. “On this rock I will build my Church” “What you hold bound on earth, will be bound in Heaven”. He gave the Church the duty and responsibility to make rules to help guide his people to their most holy state so they can join with him in Heaven. If you can’t follow the little rules, how faithful are you going to be about the big rules? You can’t pick and choose what to believe based on your own authority, and if you say why follow the Church’s rules you are really saying, why should I follow God’s appointed leader?

The “answers” contained herein are really nothing other than the standard “because we said so”. This is not a “mystery” of the faith that needs to be believed, but rather a practice.

It is very revealing that no one here will offer the rational explanation behind this policy that gnat is looking for.

gnat,

I recommend that you pray about this. I would ask God what His will is for your marriage, after all He will be just as much a part of your marriage as you will.

But my answer to your question remains the same; get married on the beach unless God directs you otherwise.

Peace