Beauty carries a heavy cross too

[Sarcelle]

No, because I can conceive of jobs in finance that promote things other than the accumulation of personal wealth and greed. I’m not saying your industry is bad: More than that, I’m saying your job itself is bad. Is a runway model accomplishing anything other than promoting unnecessary clothing* and encouraging people to vanity? I don’t see any good work done by runway models. (If there is, please tell me.) So it seems to me part of your problem, leading directly to the people you are surrounded by: Even during our off-hours, the social networks we form during working hours influence our free time.

• i.e. unnecessary consumption, contrary to Christian stewardship as Pope Francis discusses in “Laudato Si”

I did not see this post prior to writing my response to the OP: It alarms me and seems to confirm my thoughts on how your work influences you: It comes across as haughty and conceited and even suggests that you are more concerned with material accomplishments than spiritual accomplishments. I wonder about your criteria for who your ‘equal’ would be. Even calling another person “my equal” expresses conceit, as it implies others are beneath you (or self-concern if others happen to be “above” you) and that you are evaluating people in terms of levels. This is not a Christian way to view people.

I wish I could find Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI speech to the fashion designers of Milan. He told them God gave them the gift of adorning the human form. So being in the fashion industry is not evil in and of itself. It is an art, a form of self expression.

Does it have it’s bad side? Of course but that is the same for all human endeavors. You could say the same thing about the consumer electronics industry. After all no one really needs an iPad and all they do is encourage rampant consumerism.

 

[GreyWings]

Sorry if I over posted on this thread, but this load of garbage deserves a response.

I am saying YOU are bad ethereality, and an example of what drives people away from religion.

Nevertheless, I am glad I saw your awful, judgmental, despicable, post, so if I ever see these tendencies in myself, I will work on them – before someone whacks me.

Being accomplished professionally, and financially, and making time to do volunteer work and remaining an active follower of Jesus is amazing in this day of age, especially in L.A. where the secular pressure is overwhelming.

I don’t measure up to the O.P.'s level of maturity, and you are not even in the same galaxy.

Grow up.

I am no way jumping in here or taking sides, but etherreality has the right to an opinion that may be different than the others who can relate or sympathize. The OP’s username is “runwaymodel.” With such a username, the OP is communicating that she’s a model, clearly. And as such, as an observation, it would seem that her job is important to her. She’s telling the world with such a username that she is a runway model, specifically. This is a fact.

Look, there are lots of people who are very beautiful. Many beautiful women don’t work in the fashion industry. Working IN the fashion industry in of itself is not bad. But when your username is “runwaymodel” and you start a post about beauty being a cross to bear, you gotta be open to other people’s opinions. And some of them may not be what you want to hear. Not everyone is going to sympathize.

 

[Trident_H]

Sorry if I over posted on this thread, but this load of garbage deserves a response.

I am saying YOU are bad ethereality, and an example of what drives people away from religion.

Nevertheless, I am glad I saw your awful, judgmental, despicable, post, so if I ever see these tendencies in myself, I will work on them – before someone whacks me.

Being accomplished professionally, and financially, and making time to do volunteer work and remaining an active follower of Jesus is amazing in this day of age, especially in L.A. where the secular pressure is overwhelming.

I don’t measure up to the O.P.'s level of maturity, and you are not even in the same galaxy.

Grow up.

Hey Dedo. Look. In a big way I know what you’re saying here. I do. I mean I grew up under a bit of dictatorship in terms of edicts and judgments so I’m pretty sensitive to those attitudes. But. And this is a thing for me to admit. Ethereality does have a point here. And I mean you’re not really doing yourself a favor by making a post against being judgmental by using strong judging words yourself. I mean I know that’s probably your emotions talking and not your head. But just think about it from the other side of things.

And I mean my buddy GreyWings has some pretty good thoughts on this too. So, I mean, I don’t want to gang up on you. I don’t want to spin you around and send you home on this. I just want to sort of tap you on the shoulder and ask if you wouldn’t mind moving slightly to the side. Maybe just to get a little different perspective. While still keeping you in the game. Because your opinion did reach me. It just needs a little less punch.

Peace Dedo.

-Trident

 

[Convert_in_99]

No, because I can conceive of jobs in finance that promote things other than the accumulation of personal wealth and greed. I’m not saying your industry is bad: More than that, I’m saying your job itself is bad. Is a runway model accomplishing anything other than promoting unnecessary clothing* and encouraging people to vanity? I don’t see any good work done by runway models. (If there is, please tell me.) So it seems to me part of your problem, leading directly to the people you are surrounded by: Even during our off-hours, the social networks we form during working hours influence our free time.

• i.e. unnecessary consumption, contrary to Christian stewardship as Pope Francis discusses in “Laudato Si”

I did not see this post prior to writing my response to the OP: It alarms me and seems to confirm my thoughts on how your work influences you: It comes across as haughty and conceited and even suggests that you are more concerned with material accomplishments than spiritual accomplishments. I wonder about your criteria for who your ‘equal’ would be. Even calling another person “my equal” expresses conceit, as it implies others are beneath you (or self-concern if others happen to be “above” you) and that you are evaluating people in terms of levels. This is not a Christian way to view people.

This is such a mean post and completely unnecessary.

She doesn’t want an equal because she believes some people are beneath her, she wants an equal in the sense of faith. As St Paul pus it as a married couple should be “equally hooked in Christ.” That’s all she meant. She wants a man to be able to share the same faith and values as she has. And that is hard to find in ANY job!

 

[runwaymodel]

Hello everyone.
I hope I never came across as full of myself, as I am most definely not. Just like anyone else, I want my equal in a relationship. I don’t see what’s wrong with that…wanting someone who is “equally yolked”.

It’s not that I don’t love my job (who eally is overjoyed by their job though?), I do. I know how blessed I am. I don’t want people to coddle me. I just needed some advice from like-minded spiritual people. Non-believers or non-followers of Christ wouldn’t be able to relate to the emotional or mental battle it can be sometimes.

 

[GreyWings]

It’s not that I don’t love my job (who eally is overjoyed by their job though?), I do. I know how blessed I am. I don’t want people to coddle me. I just needed some advice from like-minded spiritual people. Non-believers or non-followers of Christ wouldn’t be able to relate to the emotional or mental battle it can be sometimes.

Right, but you are not your job. That’s the problem that a lot of people have in our society. When you meet people, guess what they ask? “What do you do?” A lot of people place a status on a person’s job. You are more than your job: you’re a Catholic, who serves others.

FWIW, not once did I think you were full of yourself - I get you. But again, you are not your job. A job’s a job and you probably won’t be a runway model forever. Fashion modeling, in general, has an expiration date. But you’ll always be YOU. And you are a beautiful person, and absolutely, don’t settle. Pray, pray, pray. If marriage is your vocation, God will let you know.

Blessings,
GreyWings

 

[on_the_hill]

Hi RM,
I’ve read a few of your post before on the biz, and have wondered…are you sure you *want *to be in this biz?
It never sounds like you actually enjoy it at all or that you feel it is the right career for yourself.
I agree with Easter Joy (a rarity!) that what you experience happens everywhere. But at the same time, you don’t need to stay in an industry that is built on using a person’s looks. In your case, it sounds very unhealthy for you…as you describe above.

.

I agree. This does seem to be a recurring or chronic trouble for you. I’m guessing there are times when it wears you down but generally you’re o.k. with where you are and what you do.

 

[PPeterson]

If there were only some way to capture your plight in a groundbreaking shampoo commercial…

 

[AnneElizabeth]

If there were only some way to capture your plight in a groundbreaking shampoo commercial…

mmm… a little not tasteful here, PP.

I realize that to a lot of people, ‘the plight of the pretty’ sounds quite trite, but honestly, until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes, you don’t understand what they go through. Please don’t make light of the issue.

 

[LongingSoul]

mmm… a little not tasteful here, PP.

I realize that to a lot of people, ‘the plight of the pretty’ sounds quite trite, but honestly, until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes, you don’t understand what they go through. Please don’t make light of the issue.

Agreed. I know that I’m not a classic beauty myself but I know that there is the phenomenon of ‘trophyism’ as well as beauty envy, resentment and pay back mentality to contend with when one is beautiful. It’s hard for people to deal with because there’s a general feeling that people that are blessed with beauty don’t have a right to complain about anything.

 

[on_the_hill]

mmm… a little not tasteful here, PP.

I realize that to a lot of people, ‘the plight of the pretty’ sounds quite trite, but honestly, until you’ve walked a mile in someone’s shoes, you don’t understand what they go through. Please don’t make light of the issue.

I don’t think it was unkind. Gently funny, IMO.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

I’m just a little discouraged, friends. I know some people consider beauty a blessing (probably the same that think money solves all problems) but I just feel like it attracts all sorts of weird people. I’m really involved in community service and with my church so my resolve is very strong but some men here see it as a challenge, and even get insulted when I won’t give them what so many women do so easily. It seriously feels like the more focused on God I am, the more I am tempted to get corrupted. And yes. I know: It is MY choice to be in the industry but like a Sister of the Church once told me: “God needs people in every field to act as pillars or role models even when it’s rough. Maybe that’s your cross”. Maybe, but it’s very hard.
For those of you who don’t know, I work in the fashion/entertainment industry so it’s been a challenge, but by Gods grace I have remained on the good path. Still in my 20s so the shortage of men in line for marriage isn’t the problem, it’s substance. I’m very traditional despite my outward appearance and I just cannot seem to find husband material. I’ve mentioned before, I refuse to be just a trophy wife. I’ve hesitated in posting because I know there are bigger problems out there but I don’t really have Catholic friends my age in whom I can express my feelings with…so here I am. :sad_bye:

I hear what you are saying… if I understand correctly. I can’t offer any advice other than just keep on trying things. it doesn’t sound like you are finding anything that is too different than what the average woman encounters. This is the world/culture we live in today. Some people really think nothing of a quickie from a stranger and can’t honestly understand why someone *wouldn’t *do that. They sincerely expect others to be happy about it as they are and can’t understand any other take on the matter. Its just them. That doesn’t mean every one does, so take heart in that. Think of it this way, those with that mentality are going to approach whereas someone who does not will not. So its just that you will see more of those that do. Don’t be discouraged by it. Its not an indication of what is available.

I don’t know if its a culture thing or not too, but ‘substance’ doesn’t seem to come until many are in their late 20’s and early 30’s. I mean that for both sexes and not as a put down. It just seems to me that as a culture we have been maturing very slowly. I don’t know why that is, but it really seems so to me. Not every one is like that though. Some people really mature young. Again, what you see and hear is not always a good indication of what is out there.

As far as “the cross” goes, I’ve heard it used in so many ways, but in my understanding I think it means only when we face hardships when we do what Christ has said to do… the bad thing that happen to us when we strive to follow Him. I can see how being insulted for being chaste would fit into that, but I’m not so sure it has anything to do with putting yourself near 'near occasions of sin" which is possible when working in the fashion industry. I know there are ways to get around it and I’m glad that you have. I hope it stays that way for you.

As others have said here, I just wanted to second that when the right guy comes along these worries and woes will be gone. :yup: :whacky: :extrahappy:

Just trust in God, and as someone else said, pray and tell God everything about it. Discouragement is not from the Lord.

John 14:1

“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me." <----- just focus on what He said! Not worldly stuff.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

I don’t think it was unkind. Gently funny, IMO.

Considering that the Op asked nicely for advice and seemingly did not want her plight to sound like what others mock, I think the comment was un called for. It might be humorous in a general way, (and really it might not have offended the OP at all) but we don’t know how she might take it, so its insensitive and lacks Christ’s compassion. That’s not called for here, unless people want others to believe Catholics act this way towards one another and that Christ would be pleased with it?

 

[AnneElizabeth]

Agreed. I know that I’m not a classic beauty myself but I know that there is the phenomenon of ‘trophyism’ as well as beauty envy, resentment and pay back mentality to contend with when one is beautiful. It’s hard for people to deal with because there’s a general feeling that people that are blessed with beauty don’t have a right to complain about anything.

Indeed. Its a strange thing that people should think that. Every place/role in life I’m sure has its pluses and minuses. Its like how some people think the rich have it great. I’ve known lots of wealthy families, and none of them, sadly, were actually happy loving close families. I guess people have to really look and see what their definition of ‘great’ is.

 

[CthgeDelendaEst]

Wow. Talk about a 1st world problem. OP, you could have been born homely with a hump on your back in a corrugated iron shack in Calcutta. Instead, as a presumably highly attractive, young female in the West, you are a member of one of the most privileged groups walking the earth today.

The one area I do sympathize with you is in your search for a mate. As hypergamy is hard wired into women, you want a man who is going to further elevate your station in life, or at a bare minimum “be on your level”. I believe you said as much somewhere in this thread. Since you are near the top of the female pyramid, you naturally want a man who is there as well. The problem is, men at the top of the pyramid have infinite options, because they care far less to not at all about their future mates job, income potential, etc. As a high status male, he has these things already.

A high status, marriage minded man will certainly want an attractive female (you seem to have this covered), and someone who has a temperament he judges to be suitable for a happy home life and the mother of his kids. A high status job is probably a negative, since you will be surrounded by other men all the time. So examine the second part of the equation and see if you are putting the right message out there. Remember, beauty is fleeting and the clock is ticking. It’s heartening to see your commitment to living a faithful Catholic life and I wish you continued success.

 

[runwaymodel]

I really appreciate everyone’s advice and feedback. And as I have mentioned many times, I know there are worse problems to have, which is why I’ve hesitated to post for so long, but finding someone suitable (described perfectly by ‘CthgeDelendaEst’: as someone who can elevate me or at a bare minimum, on my level) has been difficult. Because in the he end I want what everyone wants: a family. I need a husband first though. Eventually.

 

[utunumsint]

:twocents:

Pray. Pray. And pray. Then try to leave it in the hand of Christ.

I find God answers my prayers often when I am most resigned to his will and allow myself to be happy with where I am.

Also - adoration! The blessed sacrament! Let that be your center. That’s where I proposed to my wife. Lay it all at His feet. He knows us more than we know ourselves. His love keeps us in being.

God bless,
Ut

 

[LongingSoul]

The one area I do sympathize with you is in your search for a mate. As hypergamy is hard wired into women, you want a man who is going to further elevate your station in life, or at a bare minimum “be on your level”. I believe you said as much somewhere in this thread. **Since you are near the top of the female pyramid, you naturally want a man who is there as well. **The problem is, men at the top of the pyramid have infinite options, because they care far less to not at all about their future mates job, income potential, etc. As a high status male, he has these things already.

A high status, marriage minded man will certainly want an attractive female (you seem to have this covered), and someone who has a temperament he judges to be suitable for a happy home life and the mother of his kids. A high status job is probably a negative, since you will be surrounded by other men all the time. So examine the second part of the equation and see if you are putting the right message out there. Remember, beauty is fleeting and the clock is ticking. It’s heartening to see your commitment to living a faithful Catholic life and I wish you continued success.

I can’t speak for runwaymodel, but I don’t think she see’s herself as ‘at the top of the female pyramid’. Of course beauty attracts attention and can afford one wealth and privilege, but I think in general that women look at a happy wife who is obviously loved by her spouse and has her babies around her, as the top of the female pyramid. The way you get to that point is a maze to navigate in our individual ways. Am I right in this girls or is that just me?

 

[Burt_Macklin]

If there were only some way to capture your plight in a groundbreaking shampoo commercial…

A little insensitive towards the beautiful people PP. Just because we’re is really, really, ridiculously good looking doesn’t mean we don’t have feelings. I can’t help it if I was born with perfect bone structure.

 

[MCGar]

Thank you all for your responses and advice.
I am involved in my youth ministry, but the problem with that (and why I have a tendency of dating older men) is that my peers are not as accomplished as I am–and by that I mean career wise. This isn’t a bad thing. Everyone has there own pace but I just feel mentally and especially financially speaking–with everyone just getting out of college, they are at a different place in their lives, still attending parties or getting internships and some even live at home. I’ve owned properties for years and I believe that intimidates some guys my age to an extent. I don’t discriminate age-wise though. If I met my equal and he happened to be in his 20s then I would give it a go.
I would not consider moving to the Midwest as I grew up in rather populated cities and would not thrive in small town life. However, as long it was a major city anywhere in the US (heck, even as chill as Denver) I would consider moving.
As for meeting men, it is definitely not at bars. It is either through acquaintances or an international matchmaker.
Bless you all.

I think you are being a bit short sighted and possibly showing the naivete of your age.

If you can find a good egg, it doesn’t matter if they don’t own a piece of sod, have portfolio, have similar accomplishments as you. Find a good egg, good personality and work with the ‘status’ they have now, because in time that intern will have opportunities, jobs, and experiences that you might start seeing less of as you age in your industry.