Being catholic sucks- Have faith, but no joy

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Isidore, I’m sorry that going to church is causing such problems for you and your wife. Back when I was Orthodox, I had similar feelings–knots in my stomach before heading up to Liturgy, feelings of dread, and feeling drained afterwards. All because a few people had decided to treat us like dirt.

And I know what it is like to go to a church that feels spiritually dead. The very large Roman Catholic churches I used to attend felt that way. Have you looked into the Eastern Catholic churches? They are in full communion with Rome. We attend a very small Byzantine Catholic chapel, and have never been fed so spiritually. No, there are no volunteer opportunities, but my time is filled with my family, so getting involved at church in volunteering would be problematic anyway. I do not look to my church for friendships, but for the Liturgy and the Eucharist.

I did a quick search and was wondering if you had found this church yet: ak-byz-cath.org/ You may have already attended it, and if so, my apologies for giving you something not useful. I do know that while in the Roman Catholic churches I felt disconnected and as though everybody was just going through the motions I do not feel that way at the Divine Liturgy.

That said, what others have pointed out, I think is true. We should not be looking to a church for people who “care that we’re there.” Christ cares that you’re there! Christ is present at the Mass/Liturgy and that is who we are going to see.

My prayers are with you and your family. Nobody should feel dread before going to church!
 
Sorry my advice sounded “hollow” to you. I was just giving you a suggestion that I thought could help.

Wishing you the best in your decision.
 
Have you thought about starting a bible study (or something similar) in your home? There are lots of great, Catholic materials out there.
 
I’m sorry to hear you’re faith has been tested. I experienced the exact same things only in a Baptist church. Since I converted I have known many caring and outgoing Catholics. Mabey it’s not the Catholic faith letting you down but the church you are attending. There are good and bad representations of christians in every church. I would just keep trying and praying.
 
I am sure none of the regulars here are going to agree with me, but this is what we did.

Our diocese sounds just like yours. We tried every parish, and every priest. For several years we used to go to church at a hospital chapel every week until that priest was sent to Puerto Rico. At any rate, what we decided to do is to go to the shortest Mass possible. Usually Saturday a 4pm (no singing, and short homily) BUT we got the readings and the eucharist. And then Sunday mornings we would go to the really good Baptist church. It was like going on a spiritual retreat every week. The pastor was very thought provoking and relevant, the people were loving and warm, and the music was fantastic, and the kids programs were fun! We found there was a group of good Christian people in fellowship gathering to worship God every week. We always told everyone we were Catholic, and we had no plans to change. And we were still always welcomed with open arms.

We agree, there were some (many?) theological points that we just totally disagreed with the preacher. But so it gave us something deep and spiritual to talk about over lunch. My husband and I never had such deep spiritual discussions before or since.

Try it, it might work for you, but whatever you do, go together with your wife.

We always thought of the phrase ‘Wise men still seek Him’ since we were seeking Him, and couldn’t find Him at any Catholic Church, we kept seeking until we found Him at the Baptist church.
 
Jesus said, “Therefore all that you wish men to do to you, even so do you also to them; for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Mathew 7:12)
 
Isidore_AK said:
Where to begin on this rant?

I’m a revert, my wife a convert (back in '04). We’ve tried every parish within driving distance and have come to the same conclusion at all of them. It sucks to be Catholic.

We believe all that the Church teaches, but have found that the people in our diocese are completely uncaring. The laity don’t know their faith, and our diocese is dominated by liberals who teach BS in both RCIA & CCD.

Anyway, I’m sick of my diocese. When I go to Mass, I can’t see past the blatent disregard for the rubrics of the Mass…You know…Say the black, do the red? The disregard of the GIRM. The political (Edited)(liberal drivel) that gets spewed from the pulpit…the Archbishop isn’t quite as bad as some of the priests, but he lets them do & say what they want. God our mother and all that (Edited). But he seems to have plenty of time to write letters about why we can’t have a TLM in our diocese or why we have to stand instead of kneel after the Agnus Dei…

We’ve quickly lost all desire to go to Mass. We go now because we are obligated. I no longer receive the Eucharist except on Easter & Christmas, because I get so enraged by the (Edited) that goes on at Mass that I am no longer in a worthy state. My wife is tired of the people that ask for your money & your time, but don’t give a (Edited) about you if you’re hurt or sick.

My wife is from a predominantly Baptist background, and craves some form of fellowship…she has volunteered many, many times to help out in a variety of groups, and always gets the same treatment. As long as she is the one giving her time or money, she’s welcome…but the second that she needs help she gets the cold shoulder.

An example, she’s been helping with the youth group at our new parish, and broke her foot over this last weekend. When she let the head lady know that she couldn’t help she didn’t even get a ‘Hope you feel better’…nobody cares. Same thing has happened in the past at different parishes with different groups.

What can be done…? I’m about to tell my wife to start going to her old Baptist services, where at least people cared about you, and wanted to be there. Not this apathy that you encounter at Mass…we would, of course, still attend Mass as well, but there is just nothing there for either of us.

I don’t have the strength to endure bad 70’s music, apathetic parishoners, & liberal/progressive priests any longer. I can read the Church documents, the history, the writings of the Saint’s and believe it all…and then go to the local parish and see something that just doesn’t mesh with what I think should be there…

We want to leave, but can’t…we know that the Catholic Church is the True Church…I don’t really know what to do. The depression that hits us every weekend is unbearable. We’re so tired of it…my wife says she feels like her faith in God is slowly dying…why would His church be so miserable? She knows firsthand how much people in Protestant churches care about each other…its hard…😦

…we just don’t know what to do anymore…:nope:

Thanks for listening.
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Duuude! Find another parish.
 
ecp007 said:
We always thought of the phrase ‘Wise men still seek Him’ since we were seeking Him, and couldn’t find Him at any Catholic Church, we kept seeking until we found Him at the Baptist church.
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He is present in EVERY Catholic Church in the Eucharist, His True Presence, body, blood, soul and divinity. If you are not seeking that, then you’re looking for the wrong things. And Baptist reject the doctrine of transubstantiation, so you won’t find Christ’s body, blood, soul, and divinity in any of their churches.
 
Jesus is present in every Mass, and with every priest in the consecration (no matter how uninspiring or personally sinful he may be).

Remember, that being present in the most uninspiring of Masses still allows you to be present in at the Marriage Feast of the Lamb. It is a divine experience, which we are able to be a part of, with the communion of saints in heaven. There are those in places in the world who do not have even what you have.

Be thankful for what you have, and pray for better.
 
duskyjewel said:
He is present in EVERY Catholic Church in the Eucharist, His True Presence, body, blood, soul and divinity. If you are not seeking that, then you’re looking for the wrong things. And Baptist reject the doctrine of transubstantiation, so you won’t find Christ’s body, blood, soul, and divinity in any of their churches.
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Please read my post more carefully… I do take the eucharist every Saturday evening in a Catholic Church, and never in the Baptist church.

But, I think perhaps some posters are ignoring the gist of the OP’s post or just can’t believe it. There are some entire Catholic dioceses that are just corrupt and spiritually dead. From the Archbishop down to each local priest to the parishioners.

Let me share my experience: I sought 3 separate audiences to speak to a priest about spiritual matters and was rejected all three times… 1) During confession, he told me he was just a visiting priest (from 2 miles away), and if I wanted to speak to a priest, I should make an appointment with my local pastor.
2) The monsignor told me that as administrator he was too busy with important parish acitivities to meet with me regarding personal spiritual matters and that I should meet with his subordinate. 3) His subordinate called me, after I left him a voice mail and an email, and asked me if we just couldn’t talk about it over the phone, because he didn’t have time. Mind you, it was well known that he would ride his bike 1-2 hours a day for excercise.

(And, I was well known in the parish, I was president of the woman’s guild, a substancial monetary donor, and my kids were in the parish school at the time.)

At this same parish, there are 10 year olds that go to church with a backpack full of toys, and litterally dump them on the pews during the homily to play. I have seen kids jump the pews back and forth getting lost toys. There are mothers that sit in the back of the cry room (with no kids) talking, until it is time to turn their envelops in, and then leave before communion (attendance is mandatory to have your kid in the school and the parish envelop is the tracking mechanism). And there are teenagers that sit in the stairwells, sometime playing video games, sometimes listening to their ipods or talking on cellphones, and I have actually seen several couples making out during Mass! I have seen kids run up to and run around the altar in the cry room chapel without their parents stopping them. The youth group is dressed in all black with black nail polish, body peircings and other goth wear. All of this activity is distracting, and just makes me angry. It draws me away from God, not closer.

This is a huge church, with 850 kids in the Catholic Elementary school . They have an annual auction which raises about $150K in one night, so the archbishop just loves the parish.

Jesus is in the Eucharist, but He is not in the hearts or minds of the priests or the parishioners in that Church.
 
Also, to add to your faith, listen to Catholic radio. There is Sirius radio, or you can listen online to radio. This will add emmensely to the faith.
 
I am so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. I had a similar experience in the Southern baptist church. My wife and I are being confirmed tonight and are excited about it. We found a loving parish that has accepted us into their family. I pray peace will come into your heart.
 
Isidore_AK said:
Where to begin on this rant?

I’m a revert, my wife a convert (back in '04). We’ve tried every parish within driving distance and have come to the same conclusion at all of them. It sucks to be Catholic.

We believe all that the Church teaches, but have found that the people in our diocese are completely uncaring. The laity don’t know their faith, and our diocese is dominated by liberals who teach BS in both RCIA & CCD.

Anyway, I’m sick of my diocese. When I go to Mass, I can’t see past the blatent disregard for the rubrics of the Mass…You know…Say the black, do the red? The disregard of the GIRM. The political (Edited)(liberal drivel) that gets spewed from the pulpit…the Archbishop isn’t quite as bad as some of the priests, but he lets them do & say what they want. God our mother and all that (Edited). But he seems to have plenty of time to write letters about why we can’t have a TLM in our diocese or why we have to stand instead of kneel after the Agnus Dei…

We’ve quickly lost all desire to go to Mass. We go now because we are obligated. I no longer receive the Eucharist except on Easter & Christmas, because I get so enraged by the (Edited) that goes on at Mass that I am no longer in a worthy state. My wife is tired of the people that ask for your money & your time, but don’t give a (Edited) about you if you’re hurt or sick.

My wife is from a predominantly Baptist background, and craves some form of fellowship…she has volunteered many, many times to help out in a variety of groups, and always gets the same treatment. As long as she is the one giving her time or money, she’s welcome…but the second that she needs help she gets the cold shoulder.

An example, she’s been helping with the youth group at our new parish, and broke her foot over this last weekend. When she let the head lady know that she couldn’t help she didn’t even get a ‘Hope you feel better’…nobody cares. Same thing has happened in the past at different parishes with different groups.

What can be done…? I’m about to tell my wife to start going to her old Baptist services, where at least people cared about you, and wanted to be there. Not this apathy that you encounter at Mass…we would, of course, still attend Mass as well, but there is just nothing there for either of us.

I don’t have the strength to endure bad 70’s music, apathetic parishoners, & liberal/progressive priests any longer. I can read the Church documents, the history, the writings of the Saint’s and believe it all…and then go to the local parish and see something that just doesn’t mesh with what I think should be there…

We want to leave, but can’t…we know that the Catholic Church is the True Church…I don’t really know what to do. The depression that hits us every weekend is unbearable. We’re so tired of it…my wife says she feels like her faith in God is slowly dying…why would His church be so miserable? She knows firsthand how much people in Protestant churches care about each other…its hard…😦

…we just don’t know what to do anymore…:nope:

Thanks for listening.
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Praying for you. I checked the diocesan website and see they must be liberal even at that level too, as they list the National Catholic Reporter as a link. :eek:
 
Nicoletta said:
***Many times I think Christ gets lost in religion. Meaning, we get too caught up with religious politics, socializing and rules of the Church that we forget the deep spirituality that’s the core of the faith. I would say to focus on Christ and your spiritual health rather than finding friendly, caring people. Perhaps that focus will help you to see clearly, and you will draw towards others in your parish who feel the same way you do.

Blessings,
Nikki***
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This is excellent advice. Thanks for posting this Nicoletta, couldn’t have said it better.🙂
 
There have got to be at least a few people in your diocese that feel the same way. I usually find them through small talk… you can learn a lot that way - from the books they’ve been reading, their thoughts on the school or CCD program… maybe they’d be the “fellowship” you’ve been looking for.

I would feel the same way you do. Our diocese seems liberal to me at times - it’s either liberal or unaware if you know what I mean - links to Busted Halo and all that on the website. If it were any worse I think I would panic…
 
***Thank you, Whatevergirl (I’m sorry I don’t know your name). Your posting was very throughtful, and you put a smile on my face.

I just love this place. We’re one of those homes that has two computers turned on all the time just in case we need them in an instant. I’m finding myself checking this forum throughout the day when I have a few minutes to myself. It’s just wonderful.

Thanks again, Whatevergirl! And I’m sure your hair looks terrific!

Blessed Easter!

Nikki***
 
Nicoletta said:
***Thank you, Whatevergirl (I’m sorry I don’t know your name). Your posting was very throughtful, and you put a smile on my face.

I just love this place. We’re one of those homes that has two computers turned on all the time just in case we need them in an instant. I’m finding myself checking this forum throughout the day when I have a few minutes to myself. It’s just wonderful.

Thanks again, Whatevergirl! And I’m sure your hair looks terrific!

Blessed Easter!

Nikki***
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Thanks Nikki–🙂 Yes, this place is so very inviting-and at times many of us might disagree here and there, but I have learned so much more about my Catholic faith–it’s a beautiful thing.

My name is Sharon by the way–feel free to call me that.🙂 Have a blessed easter!
 
I can relate, it seems to be a Catholic tradition to not have a very strong community, that’s one thing the Protestants have better.
 
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