I find that given that the Jones and Yarhouse study which was funded by Exodus International and conducted by two evangelical Christians who set out to prove it can change found substantially less than half experienced complete orientation change over a decade with a sample that very much wanted to change it is highly unlikely that a substantial percent of gay people can change. The only group who have been really found to “change” “sexuality” is women and that is more of changing identity than an actual change of attractions. When men have claimed change it is usually seen to be them claiming to be straight, but then they are often exposed as not actually having changed, see Michael Bussee, Gary Cooper and John Paulk.
It can be rather harmful to go in with overly optimistic as you have young men who are attracted to the same sex, thinking they can change because people tell them they can, that God will “heal” them get married. And then you get toxic situations where the husband isn’t attracted to the wife, never was and she was duped into it, toss in kids which are likely by the time the man realizes he has been duped. This is one ugly situation that will likely lead to a rather ugly divorce and hurt everyone involved.
I don’t think it is impossible for sexuality to change, but we need to be honest and realistic about it instead of claiming that it will happen if they pray enough or go to some therapy. In the former case when it doesn’t work it lead to people thinking that they must be bad people for being attracted to the same sex, that God hates them, that they are unlovable, etc. and none of those are theologically sound or healthy. It is possible for LGB people to be happily married to someone of the opposite sex, it requires honest and openness from the beginning, Kyle Keating and Melinda Selmys are good examples, IIRC the latter has been on Catholic Answers live.
The problem is the bulk of mental health professionals are held by and beholden to APA which is vested in expressed homosexuality. Ever since homosexuality was removed as a disorder in the DSM (by political pressure), there has not been any bias free and balanced investigation of the etiology of same sex attraction and management / treatment modalities for unwanted SSA. The APA has already dictated that homosexuality is not changeable and attempts to change is commonly and inherently harmful. Would any practicing mental health professional under APA risk doing or saying anything openly that is a departure from the official line?
You mentioned Jones and Yarhouse, focusing on the failures of sexual orientation change therapy, ignoring that their study do not prove that categorical change in sexual orientation is possible for everyone or anyone, but rather that meaningful shifts along a continuum that constitute real changes appear possible for some. They also noted that attempts to change do not appear to be harmful on average or inherently harmful. There is some capacity for some people to shift their sexual orientation in a way that has personal meaning to them.
Given a culture surrounding a same sex attracted person with suggestions and prompts right and left to go ahead and act on his or her homosexual inclination, a gay affirming APA, gay themed tv programs, a current President joining in, with public congratulations to sports figures who come out, etc., is it a wonder that failure in changing homosexual behavior and orientation is high?
Ask yourself if you are letting yourself swept away by the culture too. You seem to discount prayer and change therapy as helpful aids to struggling homosexuals. Indeed, there are lots of naysayers who come onto this site, even Catholics, who badmouth the good work of the few who remain standing, counter cultural if you will, like Dr. Rick Fitzgibbons, Dr. Nicolosi and company, the Courage apostolate, Catholic Therapists, JONAH,
mormonandgays.org, and other organizations in
this list.
George Bernard Shaw:
*People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
*
Currently we (not the Catholic Church) teach them (especially males) they can’t have close friends of the same sex because that is a “near occasion of sin” and they can’t have close friends of the opposite sex because that is “unseemly” which leaves them unable to have close friends, given that, they can’t marry and few people seem inclined to open their hearts and hoes to them it leaves them profoundly alone. Man doesn’t need sex, but he does need to belong and love; it is not good for man to be alone.
I don’t agree that a person with same sex attraction need to avoid close friendships with members of his / her sex.
There is nothing wrong unless the same sex friend is also a sexual and romantic partner.
By all means, keep and enjoy your friend or friends. Who would begrudge you this?
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