Being gay, lesbian, transgender

[jtwp5]

Idk how many times I’ve said this on the thread, I don’t think there is one single factor that contributes to someone having SSA. Someone could have been sexually abused, could have had bad relations with father or same sex peers, could have been raised by a same sex couple, etc. There could be a genetic element to it as well but I tend to say it’s more nurture than anything else.

Some say it doesn’t matter what the cause is, but I feel like there’s a reason I feel this way and I want to be healed and to have it resolved. Though I’ve kind of accepted I’m going to have to deal with this throughout my entire life even if I get married.

 

[meltzerboy2]

No, but you said that when gay parents adopt a child, that child is fifteen times more likely to become gay than the general population. Do you mean the general population of adoptive parents who are not gay? If you mean just parents, isn’t it the case that most parents of gay children are themselves straight, not gay? Further, by your own admission, children are influenced by more than just their parents.

 

[Thorolfr]

Idk how many times I’ve said this on the thread, I don’t think there is one single factor that contributes to someone having SSA. Someone could have been sexually abused, could have had bad relations with father or same sex peers, could have been raised by a same sex couple, etc. There could be a genetic element to it as well but I tend to say it’s more nurture than anything else.

Are there also different factors that contribute to someone having opposite sex attraction? Could their attraction to the opposite sex also be due to sexual abuse or bad relations with one of their parents?

 

[Lea101]

It’s kind of possible. A general attraction is normal bc we need to ensure the survival of the species, but abuse etc can make people only sexually attracted to people with certain qualities (eg older men, certain body types, brunettes etc)

 

[meltzerboy2]

Why would abuse make people sexually attracted to anyone? I would think that one who is abused would become less sexually attracted in general.

 

[Lea101]

You can read some psych research about it,it’s pretty interesting (and sad obviously). Your brain associates the person/something related to the assault with sex. It’s a common misconception that it will make the victim turn away from anything similar to the abuse. It does happen, but the opposite also happens as well. There have been rape victims that have BDSM fetishes for example, and they find themselves attracted to men that displays the same characteristics as their abuser. This can also explain weird fetishes with objects as well.

 

[signit]

[edited]

my friend’s oldest son became a bodybuilder/weightlifter at a very young age…I watched him grow up…I was told that he liked his body so much that it formed his image for sexual desire…he could have had any girl he wanted, but he didn’t want them…did he learn this behavior?..in a sense, yes…

I was under the impression that the cause and effect are just the opposite of that; that being a bodybuilder/weightlifter doesn’t make someone “turn gay” but rather that gay men become interested in bodybuilding/weightlifting.

 

[catholicray]

Response to the OP…

There is a chasm between your reality and mine. You define yourself by your sexual desires and I define you as a child of God.

In my reality sexual desire is merely a choice. My body is the temple of God which I do not desire to profane.

Transgender is a little different but I do not think there is a need to identify with a gender if instead you simply identify as a child of God. Gender is definitive when we approach Holy Matrimony.

 

[jtwp5]

You act like that’s not normal. Our bodies are designed for the opposite sex, not the same sex. Fetishes can still develop though.

 

[Augustinian]

Are there also different factors that contribute to someone having opposite sex attraction? Could their attraction to the opposite sex also be due to sexual abuse or bad relations with one of their parents?

Attraction to the opposite sex is the natural arrangement of things, the method Almighty God devised to continue the human race.

I think a lot of things could contribute to someone pursuing sexual fetishes including relations with other guys.

It could be bad relationships with parents, or teachers or their cellie that causes people to switch too.

 

[QwertyGirl]

The general population experiences SSA at a rate of 2.2+/-0.4%…the rate among those raised by same-sex parents exceeds 30%…does it not follow that same-sex parents will have more SSA friends?

Please stop quoting that 30% statistic. It is nothing more than wishful thinking on the part of those who reference it.

 

[Supersam]

I am still a child of god but I am gay. Yes I choose who to be in a sexual relationship with but it wasn’t a choice to feel how I feel and be attracted to whom I am attracted to. God does not love me less because I am gay. I am proud of the person I am and there’s more to me than me having a sexual relationship with the same sex. I am kind, loyal, honest, raise money for people less fortunate, help people change their body and health through fitness, exercise and nutrition. I’m gay but still a child of god which I am thankful to be.

 

[Thorolfr]

Response to the OP…

There is a chasm between your reality and mine. You define yourself by your sexual desires and I define you as a child of God.

In my reality sexual desire is merely a choice. My body is the temple of God which I do not desire to profane.

First of all, someone’s desires are not a choice, only their actions. Secondly, no one that I know of, including gay people, define themselves by only one thing. Instead, they define themselves by many different things. Depending on the context or situation, they might define themselves as “father,” “son,” “brother,” “American,” “Red Sox fan,” “graduate of the University of Minnesota,” “Lutheran,” "gay man, " etc. When a citizen of the United States enters the country, he gives the officer his passport which says that he’s an American. He doesn’t say, “Officer, I’m a child of God, so let me in!”. No gay man defines himself only by his sexuality. It is only one way he defines himself depending on the context.

In many threads about homosexuality, someone will insist that they never define themselves by their sexuality but only as a “child of God.” But when it comes to all those Hispanic people at our southern border who want to enter the US, they don’t define each of them as only a “children of God” like themselves. If being a “child of God” were the only important way for someone to define themselves, then it would be necessary to let all those children of God at our southern border into the country. And yet, I dare say that most of those who bring up the “child of God” stuff definitely insist on defining those people down there as “non-Americans,” “Mexicans,” etc. who should not be allowed to enter the US.

 

[LateCatholic]

The general population experiences SSA at a rate of 2.2+/-0.4%…the rate among those raised by same-sex parents exceeds 30%…does it not follow that same-sex parents will have more SSA friends?

The general population that declares they are ONLY attracted to the opposite sex with zero feelings of heterosexuality is around 5%. The percentage that claim to be bisexual is another 5% or so. The percentage of people that claim to have some feelings of same sex attraction but do not consider themselves gay or bisexual is around a further 10%.

Regardless, where did you get the statistic about 30% of children raised by gay/lesbian parents are gay? Does that include adopted children that already knew they were gay? That would have to be subtracted. I know several gay/lesbian parents and all their children are straight.

 

[catholicray]

First of all, someone’s desires are not a choice, only their actions

I disagree. You do have a choice even in your desires. You can, believe it or not, orient your desires. How? I can orient my desires by focusing upon the Lord so that all my desire is focused upon Him.

“You shall love the Lord thy God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind.”

Otherwise we would have to say that pedophiles can not be held accountable for their actions because they are only acting out who they are.

 

[boldlygo]

Your figures go back to Masters & Johnson, and are totally flawed.

 

[Thorolfr]

Pedophiles are not responsible for their attractions, only for acting on those attractions. It is not a sin even in the Catholic Church to be a pedophile, nor is it against the law. And it’s also not a sin to be sexually attracted to the same sex. Unless someone is mentally incompetent, or their actions were beyond their control, they are always responsible for their actions.

 

[Augustinian]

Pedophiles are not responsible for their attractions, only for acting on those attractions.

Sure, people are responsible for their actions, not their thoughts, no matter how dark those thoughts are.

But a lot people, really most people, don’t see someone as a pedophile or a homosexual for that matter unless they are taking action on it.

 

[catholicray]

They are not responsible to the degree which they are unable to tame their desire. This is true whether the Church defines it this precisely or not and in the future she may. Why?

Because we can say the outcome of acting on that desire is wrong. If the action produced from acting on a desire is in fact wrong then it follows that we can say that it has its root in wrong desire.

Thus even our desires exist on a sprectrum of right and wrong and we indeed are to some degree responsible for them.

Otherwise Jesus could not say, “to look at a woman and lust is to commit adultery in your heart”. The lusting is an object of desire. So wrong desires are sinful.

 

[Thorolfr]

If someone says that they’re a Francophile, they don’t have to put on a beret and put a French flag in front of their house to use this term. Their love of France and things French is there regardless of whether they take any actions to demonstrate it.

And a pedophile’s attraction to children is there regardless of whether they act on that attraction.