Being single...not a vent thread

[CountrySinger]

hmm, to be able to do that, you would need to become an ideal Catholic yourself or how do you intend to teach them about the Mass?

Beautiful flowers and useful crops come out of manure. i

 

[CountrySinger]

If you don’t mind me asking, why do you pray the Rosary (and what’s the outcome)?

I like praying with my boyfriend, but there has been no outcome yet.

 

[kelvinf]

I like praying with my boyfriend, but there has been no outcome yet.

If I may ask, without your boyfriend, would you still like praying?

Also, what about attending mass with your boyfriend?

 

[CountrySinger]

If I may ask, without your boyfriend, would you still like praying?

Also, what about attending mass with your boyfriend?

I feel stupid when I pray by myself, like I’m talking to myself (I think God has caller ID and is screening His calls).

But I do like attending Mass with him, when I’m by myself, I just feel silly and very uncomfortable (like I’m going to be sick because I’m so nervous and uncomfortable).

 

[EasterJoy]

I feel stupid when I pray by myself, like I’m talking to myself (I think God has caller ID and is screening His calls).

But I do like attending Mass with him, when I’m by myself, I just feel silly and very uncomfortable (like I’m going to be sick because I’m so nervous and uncomfortable).

I think this is a reason a lot of people prefer a recited meditation like the rosary over purely spontaneous prayer. Some just aren’t comfortable with either the long silences that come from listening to God or the way their own minds rattle on to fill the void. Let’s face it: most of us aren’t that good at composing prayers, and worse yet at quieting down enough to listen for an answer.

That’s OK. Jesus warning was not to “babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matt. 6:7-8.

If you do a meditation like the rosary, then, the benefit of the multiplication of prayers is not to impress anyone, least of all to impress God, but to give your mind a quiet place where God can speak to you in your meditation on the lives of Mary and Jesus.

Do not concern yourself that you do not “feel anything” when you pray. Sometimes, you do not “feel anything” when you exercise, but only are aware of the benefits later. Prayer is like that, a lot of the time. That is OK.

As long as you aren’t praying with other people in order to impress them, you can make your private prayers with another person. That is OK, too, and it can be a big help…again, like having a person to exercise with.

 

[kelvinf]

I feel stupid when I pray by myself, like I’m talking to myself (I think God has caller ID and is screening His calls).

But I do like attending Mass with him, when I’m by myself, I just feel silly and very uncomfortable (like I’m going to be sick because I’m so nervous and uncomfortable).

Ok, so in a nutshell, you can actually do things (pray/attend mass) without your bf but you tend to feel stupid/silly/uncomfortable/nervous.

You once said that the relationship between you and your bf is a co-dependent relationship. If you don’t mind me asking again, does he also depend on you? I mean, can he pray/attend mass by himself without feeling…(your terms)?

Well, I’m posing these questions cuz I’ve read an article on idolatry and…

 

[kelvinf]

I think this is a reason a lot of people prefer a recited meditation like the rosary over purely spontaneous prayer. Some just aren’t comfortable with either the long silences that come from listening to God or the way their own minds rattle on to fill the void. Let’s face it: most of us aren’t that good at composing prayers, and worse yet at quieting down enough to listen for an answer.

That’s OK. Jesus warning was not to “babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matt. 6:7-8.

If you do a meditation like the rosary, then, the benefit of the multiplication of prayers is not to impress anyone, least of all to impress God, but to give your mind a quiet place where God can speak to you in your meditation on the lives of Mary and Jesus.

Do not concern yourself that you do not “feel anything” when you pray. Sometimes, you do not “feel anything” when you exercise, but only are aware of the benefits later. Prayer is like that, a lot of the time. That is OK.

As long as you aren’t praying with other people in order to impress them, you can make your private prayers with another person. That is OK, too, and it can be a big help…again, like having a person to exercise with.

I personally prefer other forms of prayer to recited prayer. When it comes to recited prayers, the tendency is always to rattle on.

I think praying the rosary is really difficult. It requires a high degree of attentiveness which is difficult to sustain (CCC on mediation - CCC 2705).

The reason I asked CountrySinger about praying the rosary is because if she can effectively pray the rosary, then she is doing really great and should keep up with that spirit.

 

[Sierrah]

I feel stupid when I pray by myself, like I’m talking to myself (I think God has caller ID and is screening His calls).

But I do like attending Mass with him, when I’m by myself, I just feel silly and very uncomfortable (like I’m going to be sick because I’m so nervous and uncomfortable).

Interesting I’ve always felt a little weird praying in public or with others…except in church.

Attending Mass with a boyfriend is not something I’ve had a chance to experience. Not that I feel silly going alone to church…just alone.

 

[Sierrah]

I think this is a reason a lot of people prefer a recited meditation like the rosary over purely spontaneous prayer. Some just aren’t comfortable with either the long silences that come from listening to God or the way their own minds rattle on to fill the void. Let’s face it: most of us aren’t that good at composing prayers, and worse yet at quieting down enough to listen for an answer.

That’s OK. Jesus warning was not to “babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.” Matt. 6:7-8.

Interesting point again…I’ve never been good at recited prayers for meditation it all kind of feels a little superficial when I pray that way. Maybe that’s why I’ve never done the rosary by myself.

 

[CountrySinger]

Ok, so in a nutshell, you can actually do things (pray/attend mass) without your bf but you tend to feel stupid/silly/uncomfortable/nervous.

You once said that the relationship between you and your bf is a co-dependent relationship. If you don’t mind me asking again, does he also depend on you? I mean, can he pray/attend mass by himself without feeling…(your terms)?

Well, I’m posing these questions cuz I’ve read an article on idolatry and…

And these things are just in the “religious” realm. I can function just fine in the real world. I just feel very uncomfortable in church, like I don’t belong there when I’m by myself (my parish is like Noah’s Ark, everyone is two-by-two, or in large groups). When I’m with my boyfriend in Mass, I feel like I belong there (since I’m part of a duo, and not just sitting by myself).

As for idolatry, I did audition for “American IDOL”. Sorry, it was an easy joke.

As for my boyfriend, I hope he does depend on me for some things (probably not for religious stuff, because he is devout). Even though it was my idea to pray the Office (NOT the TV show, lol) together

 

[EasterJoy]

I personally prefer other forms of prayer to recited prayer. When it comes to recited prayers, the tendency is always to rattle on.

I think praying the rosary is really difficult. It requires a high degree of attentiveness which is difficult to sustain (CCC on mediation - CCC 2705).

The reason I asked CountrySinger about praying the rosary is because if she can effectively pray the rosary, then she is doing really great and should keep up with that spirit.

I think it has a lot to do with your personal make-up. What comes naturally to some feels totally foreign to others. The good thing about being Catholic is that the tradition is so rich, there is usually something tried and true out there that will do the trick. (We have sort of the ideal situation, when it comes to spiritual cross-training! )

 

[CountrySinger]

I think it has a lot to do with your personal make-up. What comes naturally to some feels totally foreign to others. The good thing about being Catholic is that the tradition is so rich, there is usually something tried and true out there that will do the trick. (We have sort of the ideal situation, when it comes to spiritual cross-training! )

I know that if I had to come up with a prayer on the spot, I couldn’t do it (I don’t think rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, counts). Any on the spot prayer is like “God, make my customers less stupid, ohhh. Squirrel!”

I like when I can just read the words, and not have to worry about saying it wrong. I know once during a group rosary in the adult women’s group, I messed up the “Our Father”, and I was so embarassed! So I tend not to pray out loud because of that.

 

[EasterJoy]

I know that if I had to come up with a prayer on the spot, I couldn’t do it (I don’t think rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, counts). Any on the spot prayer is like “God, make my customers less stupid, ohhh. Squirrel!”

I like when I can just read the words, and not have to worry about saying it wrong. I know once during a group rosary in the adult women’s group, I messed up the “Our Father”, and I was so embarassed! So I tend not to pray out loud because of that.

Sometimes, “Help!” is about the best prayer there is. I think St. Theresa of Avila, out journeying and soaking wet, is reported to have prayed, “Lord, if this is the way you treat your friends, I think I can tell you why you have so few of them!” The Lord can handle what you truly have to say. It is not as if he doesn’t know what you think. OTOH, if you tell the Lord to make your customers less stupid, do not be surprised if the Lord asks how he is to make you patient!

If you can let go of the worries about doing something wrong, making mistakes, or not being good enough, that would be a good thing, but that also can take time. You don’t need to add the worry of letting go of your worries, after all! That could make you a little nuts. :whacky:

Ah, well, as John Paul II said, it doesn’t matter *how *you pray so much as it matters that you do pray. So if you like praying with someone else, more power to you. There are a billion other Catholics in the world. If that is the way the Lord made you, I suppose he’ll find you someone to pray with. Just make sure that when you can’t pray the way you like, you still pray in whatever way you can. If you do that, I think you’ll do OK.

 

[rwillenborg]

Oh this thread makes me long for my single days. All this talk of being left alone, it kind of makes me wistful.
I’m sorry it is not a state enjoyed by all.
Back then people left me ALONE at church. Oh sure, there was the occasional hi, hello, what’s new, but for the most part, I could come to Mass, pray, listen, and go home.
Now, it’s distractions, distractions, distractions.
To have silence, solitude, peace, quiet, in my life again. Oh, how I miss it.
No one wants wants to hear the words ‘Enjoy it while you have it honey!’ I find that to be condescending, and unhelpful, but I WILL say that your state in life may change, you never know what the future holds, and there are particular characteristics of life you can enjoy as a single person that you cannot when married or with children. Even at Mass. So, my advice would be to try to find the beauty in each stage of one’s life. Soak it in.
I work hard to find it in mine right now. Everyone tells me that one day I will look back on my life now, married with two young children and think those were the best days of my life.
But I CRAVE to be alone. Sometimes, I crave it so much, I leave after the kids go to bed at night, drive an hour away and attend Mass at a small parish near a university at 9 pm on Sunday. No one knows me there. No one says hello. And I am largely ignored. Ahhhh…it’s the BEST. To just sit, in peace, and quiet, and enjoy time at Mass, hearing the scripture, actually HEARING what the priest is saying over the bread and wine.
I come home and I tell my husband ‘Hey, that guy up there on the altar, did you know he’s actually SAYING stuff? Because I haven’t heard a WORD of it for like two years.’
HA!
And, if we are going to talk about what we ‘get stuff out of’ there are about fifty BETTER places for me to be than Mass. Places that I ‘get more out of’, but the Lord didn’t ask me to go there. He asked me to go to Mass.

I pray you find joy and satisfaction in your current state, and I ask for your prayers for me for the same. God bless you on your journey!

 

[rwillenborg]

I know that if I had to come up with a prayer on the spot, I couldn’t do it (I don’t think rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub, counts). Any on the spot prayer is like “God, make my customers less stupid, ohhh. Squirrel!”

I like when I can just read the words, and not have to worry about saying it wrong. I know once during a group rosary in the adult women’s group, I messed up the “Our Father”, and I was so embarassed! So I tend not to pray out loud because of that.

LOL!
I can so relate.
Here is a sampling of some of my prayers.
‘Dear God, tell that $#&$ to cut it the &@#^ out before I &#^@( kick his ^#%@&ing *#$&$. Amen. Also, please help me stop cursing. Amen.’
‘Dear God, your plan for me sucks. I’m just sayin. Amen.’

That whole thing in the rosary where you pray something related to Fatima or something…yeah, I totally mumble that. Something about souls in hell…

Also, I’d like to point out that DESPITE the fact that I’M the FAITHFUL Catholic and MY HUSBAND is the FREAKING ATHEIST, who gets EVERYTHING THEY WANT? That would be my husband. And yeah, God, I KNOW you’re reading this. Read on.

I kid you not. I told him to go outside and do yard work one day, and you know what he did? He looked up at the sky and he said ‘I’d really much rather watch shark week’ and this FREAK STORM blows through, and a POWER line goes down in our backyard and he can’t do yard work.
This was my face -->
o.m.g.

Another time, he said he wanted White Castle, which I think are GROSS, and HE, AGAIN, looked up at the sky and said ‘I’d really like a slider right now’ and all of a sudden, the engine started to overheat, I had to pull over, and RIGHT THERE is a White Castle.

That was it. I’d had ENOUGH. So, my husband goes inside and gets his sliders (making MY car smell like gross onions for like a WEEK) and I get out of the car and I’m screaming at the sky and saying things like ‘You know he doesn’t even think you’re REAL, right? You know that, right? And you know ALL that money I give to YOUR church, well, he’d rather spend it on cheese, and video games! ARGH!’

So, the following now sums up my prayer life:
‘You’ve GOT to be kidding me’ and ‘Thanks. I guess’

 

[ManOnFire]

LOL!
I can so relate.
Here is a sampling of some of my prayers.
‘Dear God, tell that $#&$ to cut it the &@#^ out before I &#^@( kick his ^#%@&ing *#$&$. Amen. Also, please help me stop cursing. Amen.’
‘Dear God, your plan for me sucks. I’m just sayin. Amen.’

That whole thing in the rosary where you pray something related to Fatima or something…yeah, I totally mumble that. Something about souls in hell…

Also, I’d like to point out that DESPITE the fact that I’M the FAITHFUL Catholic and MY HUSBAND is the FREAKING ATHEIST, who gets EVERYTHING THEY WANT? That would be my husband. And yeah, God, I KNOW you’re reading this. Read on.

I kid you not. I told him to go outside and do yard work one day, and you know what he did? He looked up at the sky and he said ‘I’d really much rather watch shark week’ and this FREAK STORM blows through, and a POWER line goes down in our backyard and he can’t do yard work.
This was my face -->
o.m.g.

Another time, he said he wanted White Castle, which I think are GROSS, and HE, AGAIN, looked up at the sky and said ‘I’d really like a slider right now’ and all of a sudden, the engine started to overheat, I had to pull over, and RIGHT THERE is a White Castle.

That was it. I’d had ENOUGH. So, my husband goes inside and gets his sliders (making MY car smell like gross onions for like a WEEK) and I get out of the car and I’m screaming at the sky and saying things like ‘You know he doesn’t even think you’re REAL, right? You know that, right? And you know ALL that money I give to YOUR church, well, he’d rather spend it on cheese, and video games! ARGH!’

So, the following now sums up my prayer life:
‘You’ve GOT to be kidding me’ and ‘Thanks. I guess’

Too many people go through life expecting to feel good instead of searching for Truth. I’m not picking on you, but the stories about your husband are selective memory. Reversion to the mean says that given enough time, the exact opposite has probably occurred with equal frequency, but remembering these stories doesn’t support your I-want-what-I-want victimhood. Life is hard for all of us. The sooner you get over it, the better. Stop riding the fence and just submit. The sooner you ASK to have the burden placed on your shoulders, the better your outlook will be. When I finally realized this, I was happier and complained less, and it’s a better role model for the children’s expectations for their adulthood. Sorry to be so blunt, but the tough people taught me far more about truth than this politically correct society that wants us to feel good all the time with no bad news, truth, or reality, which enslaves us into remaining like children. If we all learn to play the victim card, there will be no one left to offer assistance anyway. Developed society’s “life-should-be-exactly-as-I-expect-it” lifestyle has taught us to be intolerant of sacrificing for the wants and imperfections of life and others. Just look at the plummeting birthrates in Europe. It’s the slow, selfish death of a once-great civilization. The sooner people learn to be adaptable, the stronger and less fearful we’ll become. Again, I apologize for being so blunt and I’m not picking on you.

p.s. mowing the lawn is good alone time: the white noise is therapeutic

 

[TedDC]

Too many people go through life expecting to feel good instead of searching for Truth. I’m not picking on you, but the stories about your husband are selective memory. Reversion to the mean says that given enough time, the exact opposite has probably occurred with equal frequency, but remembering these stories doesn’t support your I-want-what-I-want victimhood. Life is hard for all of us. The sooner you get over it, the better. Stop riding the fence and just submit. The sooner you ASK to have the burden placed on your shoulders, the better your outlook will be. When I finally realized this, I was happier and complained less, and it’s a better role model for the children’s expectations for their adulthood. Sorry to be so blunt, but the tough people taught me far more about truth than this politically correct society that wants us to feel good all the time with no bad news, truth, or reality, which enslaves us into remaining like children. If we all learn to play the victim card, there will be no one left to offer assistance anyway. Developed society’s “life-should-be-exactly-as-I-expect-it” lifestyle has taught us to be intolerant of sacrificing for the wants and imperfections of life and others. Just look at the plummeting birthrates in Europe. It’s the slow, selfish death of a once-great civilization. The sooner people learn to be adaptable, the stronger and less fearful we’ll become. Again, I apologize for being so blunt and I’m not picking on you.

p.s. mowing the lawn is good alone time: the white noise is therapeutic

Who are you to so sternly lecture someone about their burdens and how they handle them?

Let me guess, your’re a teen or twenty-something, probably a convert or revert, full of zeal and fire for your new-found faith, with little tolerance for anyone who doesn’t live up to your ideal of what a Catholic should be. But you know nothing about the life of the person you’re criticizing, and in fact have little experience with life at all, especially its harsher realities.

 

[rwillenborg]

Too many people go through life expecting to feel good instead of searching for Truth. I’m not picking on you, but the stories about your husband are selective memory. Reversion to the mean says that given enough time, the exact opposite has probably occurred with equal frequency, but remembering these stories doesn’t support your I-want-what-I-want victimhood. Life is hard for all of us. The sooner you get over it, the better. Stop riding the fence and just submit. The sooner you ASK to have the burden placed on your shoulders, the better your outlook will be. When I finally realized this, I was happier and complained less, and it’s a better role model for the children’s expectations for their adulthood. Sorry to be so blunt, but the tough people taught me far more about truth than this politically correct society that wants us to feel good all the time with no bad news, truth, or reality, which enslaves us into remaining like children. If we all learn to play the victim card, there will be no one left to offer assistance anyway. Developed society’s “life-should-be-exactly-as-I-expect-it” lifestyle has taught us to be intolerant of sacrificing for the wants and imperfections of life and others. Just look at the plummeting birthrates in Europe. It’s the slow, selfish death of a once-great civilization. The sooner people learn to be adaptable, the stronger and less fearful we’ll become. Again, I apologize for being so blunt and I’m not picking on you.

p.s. mowing the lawn is good alone time: the white noise is therapeutic

Yikes.
I was actually just trying to be funny.
I know, I know, don’t quit my day job.
I think my whole situation is rather funny. My atheist husband lives a charmed life while I can’t seem to chew gum and walk without falling into a sink hole and chipping my teeth. The good news is, when you’re ME, and someone presents you with the idea of the health and wellness gospel, they might as well be trying to sell me a bridge in Brooklyn. I’m not falling for it.
As additional evidence, I submit that the last time I tried mowing the lawn, I actually DID in fact trip in a sink hole (well, a gopher hole) and did, in fact, lose a front tooth. I ended up in the ER for both. I believe my guardian angel is asleep on the job. I don’t know…maybe he’s moonlighting at the corner pub as a piano singer.

 

[TedDC]

Yikes.
I was actually just trying to be funny.
I know, I know, don’t quit my day job.
I think my whole situation is rather funny. My atheist husband lives a charmed life while I can’t seem to chew gum and walk without falling into a sink hole and chipping my teeth. The good news is, when you’re ME, and someone presents you with the idea of the health and wellness gospel, they might as well be trying to sell me a bridge in Brooklyn. I’m not falling for it.
As additional evidence, I submit that the last time I tried mowing the lawn, I actually DID in fact trip in a sink hole (well, a gopher hole) and did, in fact, lose a front tooth. I ended up in the ER for both. I believe my guardian angel is asleep on the job. I don’t know…maybe he’s moonlighting at the corner pub as a piano singer.

The legendary sanctimony and self-righteousness of the CAF knows no sense of humor.

 

[rwillenborg]

The legendary sanctimony and self-righteousness of the CAF knows no sense of humor.

Oh, I think man on fire was just trying to be helpful.
Probably my, uh, sense of humor isn’t that, uh, well, humorous. I, personally, think I’m hilarious.