Well I am obviously not an Oblate at this time, but I will attempt a response anyway.
From what I can tell, the actual requirements for Oblates are relatively minimal. You are asked to incorporate the following things in your life. 1) Daily Mass; 2) Divine Office; 3) Monastic Spirituality; 4) Lectio Divina; 5) Personal and Contemplative Prayer; 6) Scripture Study. There are likely others, but that seems to be relatively consistent from one monastery to the next. The key though is, that you are to bring these things into your life as your state in life allows.
Ugh! I had a complete brain fart here. I forgot to mention reading and reflection on the Holy Rule which was a major omission on my part.
Suffice it to say, as I mentioned before that you could structure your day around the life of the monastery to whatever extent you desire. Obviously most people can only do that in a limited fashion. For example, currently I have only been able to pray one of the daily hours, read part of the Rule, do some a bit of scripture study and other reading, and do some personal prayer. I can only get to Mass twice per week the vast majority of the time. My current goals are to get consistent in doing the morning prayer from the daily office (currently we only do Compline with any regularity), start attempting lectio divina, and to become better at being able to āpray alwaysā.
Abbot Lawrence, when I was at the retreat he gave not long ago, was discussing the text from Sacred Scripture āBe perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfectā. He stated that one of the monks who is a good scripture scholar actually preferred the translation āBe
perfected, as your Heavenly Father is perfectā.
With that in mind, I am trying to take things bit by bit and work on adding parts of the Oblate life as I am able to. It would be very easy, in my opinion, to try to bring all of these things into your life at once, fail, and get discouraged to the point of giving up. So, I am going to take it slow, digest each piece that I add on, and then when I am able, consider adding another. Its a journey of a lifetime, not a sprint to next week.
Peace.