Bettina Arndt on sex starved husbands

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NonTimendum said:
I’ve never seen a better example of the “Listen here, from a REAL man! Women can do no wrong and my hot wife agrees” attitude in my life.

Honestly, every post by you in this thread has been classic. You’re like a Dalrock stereotype so perfect that I’m half convinced this is him sockpuppeting to make a point. Like come on, this cant actually be serious right?
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Stick around. You’ll see the ole poor me red pill threads enough that you will either join them or fight them…
 
NonTimendum said:
I’ve never seen a better example of the “Listen here, from a REAL man! Women can do no wrong and my hot wife agrees” attitude in my life.

Honestly, every post by you in this thread has been classic. You’re like a Dalrock stereotype so perfect that I’m half convinced this is him sockpuppeting to make a point. Like come on, this cant actually be serious right?
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I think there are some posters that are more interested in pushing an agenda than having a dialogue.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Stick around. You’ll see the ole poor me red pill threads enough that you will either join them or fight them…
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Is discussing abusive relationships a poor old me thread, or only when it is men who are being abused?
 
stinkcat_14 said:
I think the specific case I brought up has run its usefulness on CAF. I think they only thing a husband in the situation I described can do is talk to a priest. Given that there is abuse, divorce is highly likely to be a legitimate moral option. But that is for the husband to flesh out with the priest.
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Yeah, you’re probably right that your story doesn’t really belong in a thread devoted to the idea that a “ten minute boink” fixes everything, at least not as evidence that that is true.
 
Xantippe said:
Yeah, you’re probably right that your story doesn’t really belong in a thread devoted to the idea that a “ten minute boink” fixes everything, at least not as evidence that that is true.
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You know, I was and still am a huge fan of Dr Laura.

Her book, “the proper care and feeding of husbands”. May indeed be the Bible of this subject. But even she was quick to point out who it did, and didn’t apply to.
 
Xantippe said:
Yeah, you’re probably right that your story doesn’t really belong in a thread devoted to the idea that a “ten minute boink” fixes everything, at least not as evidence that that is true.
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The thread was about sex starved marriages. I would think two years without would qualify for that category.
 
stinkcat_14 said:
I wonder what the response on these threads would be if a wife posted that her husband hasn’t worked for two years and his response was that he is not going to work now or ever. Would the posters give her the third degree about everything she is doing wrong? Perhaps she just doesn’t inspire him to go to work. Perhaps if she arranged some outings away from the kids she would be inspired to work. Or would there be a recognition that the husband is failing in a critical part of the marriage?
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When a man suddenly refuses to work for two years, it’s usually due to addiction or depression. A woman would probably be asked if she was enabling the behavior, if she had encouraged him to see a counselor, if she had read books on codependency, etc. Pretty much similar things to what people are suggesting you do.

What is it you want to hear? You can’t force her to do anything. No one’s going to tell you to beat her into submission or rape her. No one’s going to tell you she’s a horrible person that’s going straight to hell, because no one here knows her or what it is she’s dealing with. No one’s going to tell you to divorce her because that’s your life and you have to decide for yourself what you want to do. 🤷
 
Allegra said:
When a man suddenly refuses to work for two years, it’s usually due to addiction or depression. A woman would probably be asked if she was enabling the behavior, if she had encouraged him to see a counselor, if she had read books on codependency, etc. Pretty much similar things to what people are suggesting you do.

What is it you want to hear? You can’t force her to do anything. No one’s going to tell you to beat her into submission or rape her. No one’s going to tell you she’s a horrible person that’s going straight to hell, because no one here knows her or what it is she’s dealing with. No one’s going to tell you to divorce her because that’s your life and you have to decide for yourself what you want to do. 🤷
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For the record, I never asked for advice on this thread. Whether it is prudent and moral to get a divorce is between the husband and his priest. Nobody on this thread has any business commenting one way or another. The illustration was given because there are those on this forum who cannot conceive that a husband might have a valid complaint.
 
NonTimendum said:
Yes, because your own insecurities lead you to the overwhelming need to be the only REAL man in the room. So every other guy is either a whiner, or a loser, or is just like you (totally rare though, right?) and all women are angels.

You hate men more than the most rabid feminist on earth could ever dream of. As to why… Who knows? History of abuse, inadequacy, trouble in “paradise” or maybe just social conditioning. It’s really sad though. Kinda funny in a morbid way, but really sad.
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Now, that’s not true. In some threads, he whines about whiney women too.
 
stinkcat_14 said:
For the record, I never asked for advice on this thread. Whether it is prudent and moral to get a divorce is between the husband and his priest. Nobody on this thread has any business commenting one way or another. The illustration was given because there are those on this forum who cannot conceive that a husband might have a valid complaint.
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There are a lot of people who go around with the attitude that no one has a valid complaint about anything. Sort of a, “fix it, get over it, but above all, shut up about it” attitude.

Anyway, I highly doubt that the presenter in the video at the beginning of this thread was considering people in your situation when she started talking. She’s probably thinking more along the lines of untraumatized people who haven’t made time for intimacy because they put their kids in too many soccer leagues or spend too much time on CAF when they should be in bed.
 
Allegra said:
There are a lot of people who go around with the attitude that no one has a valid complaint about anything. Sort of a, “fix it, get over it, but above all, shut up about it” attitude.
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Why people like that feel the need to hang out on a place like family life section of CAF is a mystery to me. I guess some people just love to point out their superiority over everyone else.
 
Allegra said:
🤷 It’s pretty hard when you don’t know them or the person about whom they’re complaining.
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Which is why a little more humility would improve these forums. Some poster comes on and complains about whiney husbands when he or she has no clue about the real life situations that people have to live with. A friend of mine had a saying “better to be silent and perceived a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”.
 
Allegra said:
There are a lot of people who go around with the attitude that no one has a valid complaint about anything. Sort of a, “fix it, get over it, but above all, shut up about it” attitude.

Anyway, I highly doubt that the presenter in the video at the beginning of this thread was considering people in your situation when she started talking. She’s probably thinking more along the lines of untraumatized people who haven’t made time for intimacy because they put their kids in too many soccer leagues or spend too much time on CAF when they should be in bed.
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Right.

Not that I know anyone like that, at all… certainly not me! 😛

I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty intense criticism here. Some posters are just mean or have a set agenda, but more often than not, I’ve left out significant details, and/or the experience of other posters leads them to see it differently than I do. Sometimes that’s useful and sometimes it’s not, just like in “real life.” 🤷

HD mentioned Dr. Laura’s book, and that was a good example. She makes it clear who her audience is and who it isn’t. Sometimes, it’s not clear where a person or situation may fall. The devil’s in the details.
 
Allegra said:
I too have a strong feeling that this lady’s musings don’t really pertain to me or my marriage. I didn’t marry a man whose entire physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs can be satisfied with a 10 minute “boink”. Most of the time, when he’s getting cranky, he just needs some mac and cheese or crackers with peanut butter.
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It’s true…the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. 😃
 
NonTimendum said:
Yes, because your own insecurities lead you to the overwhelming need to be the only REAL man in the room. So every other guy is either a whiner, or a loser, or is just like you (totally rare though, right?) and all women are angels.

You hate men more than the most rabid feminist on earth could ever dream of. As to why… Who knows? History of abuse, inadequacy, trouble in “paradise” or maybe just social conditioning. It’s really sad though. Kinda funny in a morbid way, but really sad.
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Dude, chill. You’re taking this way too far.
 
pensmama87 said:
Right.

Not that I know anyone like that, at all… certainly not me! 😛

I’ve been on the receiving end of some pretty intense criticism here. Some posters are just mean or have a set agenda, but more often than not, I’ve left out significant details, and/or the experience of other posters leads them to see it differently than I do. Sometimes that’s useful and sometimes it’s not, just like in “real life.” 🤷

HD mentioned Dr. Laura’s book, and that was a good example. She makes it clear who her audience is and who it isn’t. Sometimes, it’s not clear where a person or situation may fall. The devil’s in the details.
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I think it is clear some posters are just pushing an agenda. For example, they make vague claims, you question their claims or ask for more information and they are silent. Then in response to another post, they make another vague claim or assertion. Not that they ever follow up, or are interested in a true dialogue. Certainly, they are free to do that, nobody can force someone to act honestly and charitably, but one does have to wonder about their motivations.
 
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