Bikini

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The problem is not only “ours” as in that of “men”. But is “ours” as in all Christians.

Modesty and the other virtues for all. 🙂
 
I personally think pointing out how women are enticing men by their lack of proper dress is just not the right approach to the problem. And it is a problem. But we all need to be responsible for the log in our own eye first before we point out the splinter in someone else’s. Simply pointing out that these girls are tempting you and/or other men to sin would be ineffective.

As a side note, modesty in women’s dress will not remove man’s temptation of the female body. This is evidenced by the fact that, even in culture where women must be covered completely except for their eyes, there is still an enormously high sexual crime rate against women. But I digress.

I always took the approach to first lead by example. My rule of thumb has always been, "If I can’t imagine wearing it with Mary with me, I won’t wear it. As women, we aren’t called to dress modestly only so that men will not be tempted by us. We are also called to modesty as a form of rejecting the world and embracing the humility of Christ.
M1Garand said:
Show them that a normal young male can look at the bodies God gave them and control his impulse and drives. Show them the utmost respect and love even if they act and are loose. Women have been hyper-sexualized by culture but that is the failing of men not women. We are to protect the fairer sex from these things and if they have succumbed then we protect them by not acting out on those things that make us weak but by becoming strong in our example and we do not need to demean them or dictate to them.
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Perfectly said! 👍
 
I want them to be aware of what that causes in men. Especially young men like myself. Most of my female friends are Catholics and a good amount of them are practicing Catholics.
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It may cause something in boys, it causes nothing in men:cool:
 
Loving_disciple said:
some of them have been approach by guys because if what they where wearing and it bothered me. These men where treating people I view as sister like meat
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It bothered you. Did it bother them? Do you think maybe they *wanted *to be approached? And moreover, I’m not entirely sure a bikini makes that much of a difference.

Be that as it may, it seems like this thread is focused on altering the behavior of the women for the benefit of the men. Now, I’m not at all saying that modesty should be thrown out the window. What I am saying is there’s a current of ‘change the outfit because of the way men react.’ How about saying, “Guys, it’s a bikini. Get over it.”

And I wish you’d not use the word “meat.” It’s a little unappetizing. How about “treating them as objects?”
 
on_the_hill said:
And I wish you’d not use the word “meat.” It’s a little unappetizing. How about “treating them as objects?”
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The word bothers you? I find it accurate. Are you made uncomfortable by such a candid expression of the animal appetite which lustful men have?
 
dshix said:
The word bothers you? I find it accurate. Are you made uncomfortable by such a candid expression of the animal appetite which lustful men have?
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Object is better --theologically speaking …

(a thing to be used instead of a person to be chastely and modestly loved)
 
Outfits I have been wearing that men/boys/guys have looked at me like an object:

high school cheerleading uniform
high school softball uniform
bikini
one piece
t-shirt and jeans
sundress
maxi dress/blazer combo
cocktail dress
Bermuda shorts and a polo shirt

Maybe guys should be taught not to look at women like objects and we wouldn’t have to have this discussion.
 
Some attire can tend to increase such looking…to sponsor it if you will.
 
Loving_disciple said:
How would I go about talking to my female friends about not wearing a bikini or something showing their midriff. :confused:I don’t want to be controlling but I want them to be aware of what that causes in men. Especially young men like myself. Most of my female friends are Catholics and a good amount of them are practicing Catholics.
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Those “men” should take responsibility for their own disordered desired mind and pray for the grace to purify their mind-- instead of making others into scapegoats.
 
As Jesus said -temptations will come --but “woe to” those “by which they come!”

Such is for us all.
 
Bookcat said:
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Walking_Home:
Those “men” should take responsibility for their own disordered desired mind and pray for the grace to purify their mind-- instead of making others into scapegoats.
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Yes and women need to dress modestly.
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Scapegoating.
 
robert_chacon said:
This is NOT the issue. He is not suggesting he has no responsibility. All men recognize it is our faith that calls us to respond properly to our natural impulses to the female body. The impulse is natural and good but should be reserved for our wives. Once our “body” responds to a female, we are of course called to control ourselves and not treat a woman as an object. That is NOT what the OP is talking about. He is talking about the first cause of the attraction, the revealing nature of the bikini. And women DO have a responsibility to NOT cause attention to their bodies outside of their bedroom. We as men cannot expect women to be forced to comply, but we can, and SHOULD at least ask our friends.
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Actually, it is the issue. Would those male friends have a similar reaction to viewing women with their breasts uncovered because that is how their culture dresses? I’m going to wager that they would. The OP’s friends don’t wear bikini’s 24/7 but those male friends are probably wearing those objectifying attitudes 24/7.

Not all men “recognize it is our faith that calls us to respond properly to our natural impulses to the female body” first, because not all men are men of faith and second, because even men of faith are not always taught to respect women and girls. I’m not saying women should be able to dress however they want to where ever they want to but at the same time I am saying they should be able to wear swimwear at the beach, or shorts and sleeveless tops when it’s hot.

I don’t think the OP should say anything to his female friends who didn’t do anything wrong if he didn’t have the guts to say something to the guys who did.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
Like men don’t lust after women in one pieces? Heck, some men will say that one pieces are more attractive because it leaves a little to the imagination, where bikinis leave none to the imagination. 🤷

I have no clue how old you are, OP. I do know that when I was growing up, no guy friend would have ever told me how to dress. Why? Because I would have let him know exactly how I felt and we wouldn’t be friends anymore. If you go on a rant to your lady friends, don’t be shocked if they don’t speak to you after that. I’m not saying it is right or wrong, just pointing out that girls usually don’t like boys lecturing them on clothing.
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To be honest, this is something I don’t understand about women. When my wife asks me if I like what she’s wearing, and I tell her no (for what ever reason) unless she agrees with me, she will ignore me.

I’m generalizing here, but I think that in general if all straight men disliked a particular fashion that women were into, but all the women and gay men liked it, the women would still continue the fashion that all straight men dislike. It appears to me, that women do not actually dress for to attract men (some do, but many do not).

For example, most men do not like it when women wear a lot of makeup or lipstick. But women do it anyway.

To me, it seems like women tend to use fashion more for the acceptance of other women, then they do to attract men.

Some food for thought…

NOTE: Personally, I hope my daughter never wears a bikini. I never like it when my sisters did. :o

God Bless.
 
Loving_disciple said:
I am not trying to force my view on others but I think their should be a limit in which we should follow.
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So, which is it?

Should you also tell your friends that they shouldn’t wear high-heels, skirts, pantyhose or use makeup, lipstick, pierce their ears, or color their hair? Should they also not have their nails done or use moisturizer to keep their skin soft and pretty?

Like a previous poster said, try telling a bunch of girls how they should dress and carry themselves and you will find that you will be minus a few friends in short order.
 
Bookcat said:
Some attire can tend to increase such looking…to sponsor it if you will.
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And a lot of men don’t care what you wear. There is nothing sexy about a 17 year old in a softball uniform. Long pants, long socks, sleeves on my shirt. I can see where a bikini can be tempting for guys. I don’t see how unisex t-shirt and blue jeans is immodest, a maxi dress comes down to the floor and we all know blazers cover the body. Bermuda shorts come down to the knee. Guys really need to learn to control themselves. Most of the time, it isn’t what the girl is wearing, it is that people don’t teach their sons to respect women.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
And a lot of men don’t care what you wear.
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For many many if not most Christian men - a bikini is going to be something that will be in order “problematic” in the area of modesty. Now some may have high virtue and great custody of the senses so it does not present a personal problem for them - but it is of that order.

Women have a difficulty understanding this – just as us men have a difficulty understanding some aspects of being “a woman”.
 
phil19034 said:
To be honest, this is something I don’t understand about women. When my wife asks me if I like what she’s wearing, and I tell her no (for what ever reason) unless she agrees with me, she will ignore me.

I’m generalizing here, but I think that in general if all straight men disliked a particular fashion that women were into, but all the women and gay men liked it, the women would still continue the fashion that all straight men dislike. It appears to me, that women do not actually dress for to attract men (some do, but many do not).

For example, most men do not like it when women wear a lot of makeup or lipstick. But women do it anyway.

To me, it seems like women tend to use fashion more for the acceptance of other women, then they do to attract men.

Some food for thought…

NOTE: Personally, I hope my daughter never wears a bikini. I never like it when my sisters did. :o

God Bless.
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I totally agree with that. If women dressed for men, then we would be naked all the time. lol. Seriously.
The in shoe this past summer were wedges, heck they are popular this fall as wedge booties. Anyway, men were polled this summer and the vast majority of men don’t like wedges. It didn’t stop it from being one of the most popular shoes this summer. My husband sees me when I first wake up, morning breath and all. When we go out to dinner, I’m not dressing especially for him. I’m dressing nice so the group of women at the corner booth won’t talk bad about me. Dressing is an art, sort of. You have to be stylish enough not to be talked about. You can’t dress too scandalous, because you will be talked about. You have to dress appropriately for the venue, you shouldn’t wear heels to the baseball game, but you better not show up in sweatpants, either. That’s why it takes women 2 hours to get dressed and we claim to have nothing to wear. 😃
 
Seeking to assist his sisters in Christ is a holy and good thing to do…(though it may not be as practical to do --due to the difficulty involved etc)

Please lets cease distorting his post and responding with some of the exaggerated posts that have happened in this thread.
 
KendraDZ1902 said:
And a lot of men don’t care what you wear. There is nothing sexy about a 17 year old in a softball uniform. Long pants, long socks, sleeves on my shirt. I can see where a bikini can be tempting for guys. I don’t see how unisex t-shirt and blue jeans is immodest, a maxi dress comes down to the floor and we all know blazers cover the body. Bermuda shorts come down to the knee. Guys really need to learn to control themselves**. Most of the time, it isn’t what the girl is wearing, it is that people don’t teach their sons to respect women**.
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This is the problem in our world today. Men are not men but petulant hormone driven girly men who are slaves to the profane. A real man would never take advantage of a woman even if she offers it to him yet he knows she is not in a position to consent. Only a weak coward would stand by while a woman is being victimized by man. Since the real man is becoming extinct my daughter is learning self defense. If that does not work she will use that wonderful gift from God that equalizes all men her S&W. You should learn these things too.
 
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