R
rossana_2000
Guest
I am a married woman aged 35, in Italy. A very different culture, which interestingly is shifting towards greater modesty… or example, topless sunbathing was commonplace ten-fifteen years ago but now has nearly disappeared from most beaches.
I think that modesty depends on the context. A swimsuit (any swimsuit) is OK on the beach but would definitely be not on in the workplace or while shopping for groceries; an evening dress is OK at a ball but not at a matinee at the theatre; and so on. If a woman has good taste and common sense, she will not be felt out ofplace by either the women or the men who are around her, and the thoughts elicited in the men will be more linked to the general occasion than to any particular woman.
Needless to say, one should NOT be pushed by his/her environment, or by peer pressure or fashio, to do things that are morally wrong; but I think that in most normal contexts (parties, beach, theatre) even revealing clothes do not cause much of a stir in men’s minds, precisely because they are the norm. Sure enough they will get mildly aroused, but that’s about it - normal and natural and with no significant consequences.
On the beach, I do wear bikinis - not the very revealing types that are more for teenage girls and probably mre modest than most on these beaches, but still bikinis. Some of my evening dresses are a bit revealing - with the ones that are backless I can’t wear a bra underneath but obviously they are not in any way see-through. I wear high heel sandals but no make up. I am no more immodest than most other women I know, actually more modest than most.
As far as my intensions are concerned, I always try to look beautiful, partly because my husband likes it, partly because it makes me feel self-confident. I know that men (including other men, not just my husband) may get a bit aroused by looking at me, but I don’t think that’s a big deal.
I think that modesty depends on the context. A swimsuit (any swimsuit) is OK on the beach but would definitely be not on in the workplace or while shopping for groceries; an evening dress is OK at a ball but not at a matinee at the theatre; and so on. If a woman has good taste and common sense, she will not be felt out ofplace by either the women or the men who are around her, and the thoughts elicited in the men will be more linked to the general occasion than to any particular woman.
Needless to say, one should NOT be pushed by his/her environment, or by peer pressure or fashio, to do things that are morally wrong; but I think that in most normal contexts (parties, beach, theatre) even revealing clothes do not cause much of a stir in men’s minds, precisely because they are the norm. Sure enough they will get mildly aroused, but that’s about it - normal and natural and with no significant consequences.
On the beach, I do wear bikinis - not the very revealing types that are more for teenage girls and probably mre modest than most on these beaches, but still bikinis. Some of my evening dresses are a bit revealing - with the ones that are backless I can’t wear a bra underneath but obviously they are not in any way see-through. I wear high heel sandals but no make up. I am no more immodest than most other women I know, actually more modest than most.
As far as my intensions are concerned, I always try to look beautiful, partly because my husband likes it, partly because it makes me feel self-confident. I know that men (including other men, not just my husband) may get a bit aroused by looking at me, but I don’t think that’s a big deal.
)
OH NO! The Family Life Forum is being terrorized by the return of the undead Bikini thread! :hypno:
, I, a wife and mother, still wear my good old two-piece swimsuit. It reveals less than many one-pieces I’ve seen and I find it prectical to swim and sunbathe in. I still fail to understand how it can be viewed as intrinsically less ‘modest’ and thus more ‘sinful’ than a one-piece - merely because my stomach and back are revealed - but I have long since stopped trying to logically analyze it.