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carol_marie
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I’m doubting you Mark.
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carol_marie
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Do you often resort to name calling when someone disagrees with you?
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carol_marie
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carol_marie
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I hate it when our Priests immitate Christ.
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Ferdinand_Mary
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This thread is locked pending moderator review.
Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary
Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary
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spacecadet
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I hate it when our Priests immitate Christ.
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jmcrae
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I say Hurray, for the Culture of Life!!I think I have seen everything tonight. I was at Mass and the lady in the pew in front of me had a small infant. She was with her hubby and another child about 2 or so. The infant started crying…as they do…and instead of grabbing a bottle or getting up to go to the Cry Room (we have a nice one)…she proceeded to start breast feeding. The gentleman on the other side of her about dropped his teeth.
What are your thoughts?
:heart:Blyss
And I agree with the person who said that you couldn’t have seen very much from the back, anyway - there was nothing to be offended by, in that situation.
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kamz
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I didn’t breastfeed my kids but I have no problem with a woman breastfeeding wherever she needs to, if an baby is screaming in mass out of hunger nobody thinks twice about giving a bottle right then and there but a breast…oh, my… I have NEVER seen a woman show her breast in church or anywhere else for that matter when feeding, it is done like this amazing magical act
I’ve always thought it was amazing how these women could do it without showing a thing… like… how did they just do that, cool!
It is food and unless she is putting that breast out and leaving it totally uncovered ( NEVER EVER SEEN THAT) who cares and not only that… why are you watching… and no it is NOT impossible to avert your eyes… and not all churches have cry rooms, I know we don’t have one and even if we did I would never use it… kids think that the cry room is the “fun room” and believe me once you take them out… you will never be coming back in… they pick up on it very fast.
When a woman breast feeds in my opinion that is no different that bottle feeding and people who don’t view it as simply nurishing a child must have issues of their own that need addressing, don’t blame the mom and baby for something you have problems with… thats just my opinion.
I’ve always thought it was amazing how these women could do it without showing a thing… like… how did they just do that, cool!
It is food and unless she is putting that breast out and leaving it totally uncovered ( NEVER EVER SEEN THAT) who cares and not only that… why are you watching… and no it is NOT impossible to avert your eyes… and not all churches have cry rooms, I know we don’t have one and even if we did I would never use it… kids think that the cry room is the “fun room” and believe me once you take them out… you will never be coming back in… they pick up on it very fast.
When a woman breast feeds in my opinion that is no different that bottle feeding and people who don’t view it as simply nurishing a child must have issues of their own that need addressing, don’t blame the mom and baby for something you have problems with… thats just my opinion.
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St_John
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There’s not a more endearing and charming sight in the world, in my opinion. I think it’s great, that’s the original purpose of breasts if I’m not mistaken. Too bad people are offended, I think they have a distorted view of breasts. I wonder how many of them put up with all the garbage on TV?
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C.T
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I’ve nursed my daughter in church many times, and look forward–God-willing–to getting another chance to breastfeed again. We have a cry room that is OK, so long as you don’t much care to attend Mass (you can hear fine, but seeing is another matter). I don’t know if I ever nursed in there. I just didn’t see any point. I could hook up my baby quickly and reasonably discreetly where I was. I know that priests have seen me nursing (I doubt they saw my breast, but they could tell what was happening). I’ve also looked up from getting my baby latched on to find a young parishioner looking at me saucer-eyed. Although I felt a little embarrassed (more with the kids who had no context for what they were seeing than priests who know full well what is going on and can deal with it maturely with a respect for God’s design of the human species), I felt it was important to not send that message to those kids. I’d give them a little friendly smile, while checking once more that I’m covered. But even if they got a peek, I didn’t blush or clutch my clothes in a desperate attempt to hide my shame. I’d rather they see my nipples than see me act like what I was doing was wrong (and I’m not saying here that I want anyone seein my nipples!).
If that’s what you mean by “looking around with a big smile on their face”, maybe you need to look again at the situation. Sometimes, a smile is the best you can do when someone is watching you breastfeed.
If that’s what you mean by “looking around with a big smile on their face”, maybe you need to look again at the situation. Sometimes, a smile is the best you can do when someone is watching you breastfeed.
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JezuUfamTobie
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Amen to that! In addition, I hope some people will realize that a mother may not wish to use the cry room because she does not approve of what goes on in there and does not want her child(ren) to think that those behaviors are acceptable to her. I try to avoid taking my child in there if I can, because I don’t want him to think that snacking on cheerios, shouting, and running around are ok for him to do at mass. (Baby see, baby do.) Providing a consistent example of how to behave at mass from birth onward makes the job a lot easier later.
It’s tempting for many of us to let our eyes wander around at mass and begin to notice, assume, and/or judge others regarding matters that are not our concern. I’m not immune to this either. But distractions are a fact of life and we do well to remind ourselves where our focus should be.
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St_John
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I find it ironic that the originator of this thread has this quote in her signature
*“The greatness and moral progress of a nation can be judged by how its animals are treated.”
Mahatma Gandhi *
What about encouraging compassionate treatment of human babies? You should be glad that they are getting the milk of human kindness by a loving mother. I’m so happy whenever I see a wee babe suckling at the breast. There’s nothing like new life, innocent and helpless, being tended to by a woman in the fullness of womanhood. That woman is mirroring our mother in Heaven, the Virgin of Virgins. Our Church is prolife, and we should be encouraging parents in everyway, not condemning and being shocked at mothers suckling their babes.
Many old paintings of the Madonna show her suckling baby Jesus. That’s because it’s a beautiful sight.
*“The greatness and moral progress of a nation can be judged by how its animals are treated.”
Mahatma Gandhi *
What about encouraging compassionate treatment of human babies? You should be glad that they are getting the milk of human kindness by a loving mother. I’m so happy whenever I see a wee babe suckling at the breast. There’s nothing like new life, innocent and helpless, being tended to by a woman in the fullness of womanhood. That woman is mirroring our mother in Heaven, the Virgin of Virgins. Our Church is prolife, and we should be encouraging parents in everyway, not condemning and being shocked at mothers suckling their babes.
Many old paintings of the Madonna show her suckling baby Jesus. That’s because it’s a beautiful sight.
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spacecadet
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EXACTLY!!!
the cry room is usually the place for people who don’t teach their children how to behave d uring mass…if seen it all there and refuse to sit there
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Em_in_FL
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As for breastfeeding being “intended by God”, “natural”, “wonderful”, and a “beautiful expression of love”… I agree.I think I have seen everything tonight. I was at Mass and the lady in the pew in front of me had a small infant. She was with her hubby and another child about 2 or so. The infant started crying…as they do…and instead of grabbing a bottle or getting up to go to the Cry Room (we have a nice one)…she proceeded to start breast feeding. The gentleman on the other side of her about dropped his teeth.
What are your thoughts?
:heart:Blyss
I am ALL for BF’ing… in fact I’ve BF’ed both my sons until 13+ and 17+ months of age.
I also am not against the idea of BF’ing in public, when necessary… in fact, I have multiple times. (usually hiding in a corner somewhere so that there were no bystanders… I’m just modest).
However, I’d like to point out, that this thread and the one similar to it from a few months ago… shows that no matter how wonderful this experience is for mother and baby… it DOES make OTHERS feel UNCOMFORTABLE…
Why do we HAVE to force our (wonderful, beautiful, natural) agenda on others???
Instead of judging the uncomfortable feelings of others… it would be just as easy to be understanding…
How difficult would it be to walk to the VERY BACK of the church so as not to distract others???
Just my thoughts…
And I don’t think Mary would have been forcing any agenda (no matter how wonderful, beautiful, natural) on those who were made uncomfortable by the act… using Mary as a guilt trip isn’t very charitable.
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Jennifer_J
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I currently have 5 children age 9 and under, do I leave them in the pew alone (dh can’t always attend with us) to walk to the back of the church to breastfeed? Oh, I know, I drag all 5 out of the Church proper, that wouldn’t be distracting!? Oh, I see, I have to SIT in the back so none of my children can see very well so I can breastfeed in the back? Oh wait, I could sit in the cry room seperated by glass with horrible sound system, badly behaving children, and my children not able to see so I can breastfeed the new baby? Oh, how about this, I ATTEND to my baby’s needs before he cries by breastfeeding DISCREETLY in the pew (baby in a sling), near the front where they can see, with my children so that NO ONE is disturbed. I don’t see the problem.
From the OP–we don’t really know what he/she saw really. The OP said they were sitting behind the mother, I can’t really imagine the person could have seen anything. Some people take offense at just KNOWING that a mother is or might be or is thinking about breastfeeding. This attitude is not life affirming and is not supportive to those of us who choose to nourish our babies as God intended. Bottles are wonderful tools for those who need them. I’m thankful we have them and formula for those times it is absolultly needed. I choose to not use them. I also choose to make sure I can nurse discreetly, but it does take practice. We, as Christians, should give the mother the benefit of the doubt and give her a break. Say a prayer, focus your attention back on the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and get on with your life!!!
God bless,
Jennifer
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Em_in_FL
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I’m sorry you felt threatened by my post.
I don’t think you read all of it, though.
What I said was that it DOES make other people uncomfortable.
Other posts on this thread seem to suggest it’s okay to judge the OP as someone who is anti-BF’ing… and that may not be the case.
I would say… in your case… if it was obviously making someone uncomfortable who was sitting near you… yes, I’d leave my kids in the pew (especially with a 9 year old), and go to the back of the church… out of courtesy for that person.
If it’s not noticable… then go for it! (see, I’m not against that idea!
)But the sheer fact that the OP even wrote this thread suggests that sometimes it IS NOTICABLE (maybe not in your case)… and it DOES make others uncomfortable.
I think compromises can be made for the good of all.
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Ferdinand_Mary
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NOTICE: I have already deleted several posts on this thread for their lack of charity, and distributed warnings as appropriate. Future uncharitable posts will result in conduct infractions which may limit your posting privilages.
Please self-edit for tone and content before hitting the submit button.
Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary
Please self-edit for tone and content before hitting the submit button.
Mane Nobiscum Domine,
Ferdinand Mary
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Jennifer_J
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I don’t feel threatened by your post, just annoyed that the only solution you gave was to leave to the back. That’s just not an option. If I leave my small children (not the 5, 6 or 9 year old, but the 3 and 2 year old) they want to come too and I can’t leave the small ones there, they just won’t stay and often the 9 year old gets too bosy with girls and then a commotion errupts. I would create more of a commotion, trying to leave the pew then just staying put and feeding a crying infant (or hopefully not crying infant).I’m sorry you felt threatened by my post.
I don’t think you read all of it, though.
What I said was that it DOES make other people uncomfortable.
Other posts on this thread seem to suggest it’s okay to judge the OP as someone who is anti-BF’ing… and that may not be the case.
I would say… in your case… if it was obviously making someone uncomfortable who was sitting near you… yes, I’d leave my kids in the pew (especially with a 9 year old), and go to the back of the church… out of courtesy for that person.
If it’s not noticable… then go for it! (see, I’m not against that idea!
But the sheer fact that the OP even wrote this thread suggests that sometimes it IS NOTICABLE (maybe not in your case)… and it DOES make others uncomfortable.
I think compromises can be made for the good of all.
I’m sure that a mother feeding indiscreetly would be a distraction, but I, personally, have never seen that happen. I don’t discount that it does, but painting all of us breastfeeders as wanting to flaunt our breasts is just plain silly. I aplogize for those mothers who can’t or won’t nurse discreetly.
Re read the op’s statement, he didn’t say he saw anything or that the other man did, just that she started breastfeeding and he “dropped his teeth” That doesn’t mean he saw anything, just that he was surprised. Some people are surprised at just the idea of breastfeeding. We assume a lot, don’t we, in reading what was actually written. The OP also asked for thoughts. My thoughts are the mother should be allowed and encouraged to feed her baby as needed. Her responsiblity is to be as discreet as possible, but if she isn’t, we avert our eyes as needed. Just like we would if a woman’s shirt came unbuttoned or a man’s pant’s were unzipped or a child’s bare bottom is exposed in the bathroom changing area. Staring is always impolite.
Jennifer
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Jennifer_J
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Also, food for thought: What if the OP has stated this–
“I was sitting in mass with a nice family in front of me. The baby started crying and the mother whipped out a BOTTLE!! I was horrified and the person next to her nearly passed out. After all the bottle almost looked like a real breast!! I felt so uncomfortable.”
Now all of you would have either laughed or been offended that someone would think bottle feeding was somehow wrong. That’s how those who breastfeed feel most of the time on these threads. We have to defend our right to breastfeed our hungry children or risk offending someone, somewhere, if we aren’t discreet enough.
Jennifer
“I was sitting in mass with a nice family in front of me. The baby started crying and the mother whipped out a BOTTLE!! I was horrified and the person next to her nearly passed out. After all the bottle almost looked like a real breast!! I felt so uncomfortable.”
Now all of you would have either laughed or been offended that someone would think bottle feeding was somehow wrong. That’s how those who breastfeed feel most of the time on these threads. We have to defend our right to breastfeed our hungry children or risk offending someone, somewhere, if we aren’t discreet enough.
Jennifer
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St_John
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That is a common thing to say “It makes me feel uncomfortable”. A very overused phrase, to my mind. Maybe bottle feeding makes another person feel uncomfortable, have you though of that? Maybe someone ought to start a thread “Bottlefeeding During Mass?” Some people feel that denying a helpless infant mother’s milk is harmful, and statistics do point to the fact that breastfeeding is nutritionally superiour. The American Pediatrics association advises to breastfeed for a minimum of one year.
Some people are also “uncomfortable” if they see a mother with more than 3 children. Even Catholics feel this way because they have bought into the culture of death. Maybe people who feel “uncomfortable” in the presence of a suckling babe ought to reexamine their feelings and do some research about the subject. Our culture has objectified the female body. Just as sex is considered recreation, also the breast is viewed improperly.
It’s the same with handicapped people. They make some people feel “uncomfortable”. It used to be that you were expected to institutionalize them, or at least kindly keep them out of sight. But now attitudes have changed and we are now, as a society, much more tolerant. We are more used to seeing them and it doesn’t make us so squeamish. That is a good development for our society and we need to do the same for breastfeeding mothers.
Some people are also “uncomfortable” if they see a mother with more than 3 children. Even Catholics feel this way because they have bought into the culture of death. Maybe people who feel “uncomfortable” in the presence of a suckling babe ought to reexamine their feelings and do some research about the subject. Our culture has objectified the female body. Just as sex is considered recreation, also the breast is viewed improperly.
It’s the same with handicapped people. They make some people feel “uncomfortable”. It used to be that you were expected to institutionalize them, or at least kindly keep them out of sight. But now attitudes have changed and we are now, as a society, much more tolerant. We are more used to seeing them and it doesn’t make us so squeamish. That is a good development for our society and we need to do the same for breastfeeding mothers.
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