Breast Feeding During Mass?

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Jennifer_J said:
That’s how those who breastfeed feel most of the time on these threads. We have to defend our right to breastfeed our hungry children or risk offending someone, somewhere, if we aren’t discreet enough.
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Please don’t speak for ALL of us who breastfeed…
I certainly don’t mind finding another place to BF out of courtesy for others.
 
I don’t understand why even if noticeable what difference it makes. A mother feeding her baby from her own body is a beautiful event. I say, thank you Lord that this mother knows what it means to be a mother and that this baby is getting blessed care from her. We always have a large group of new mothers in our Church and I believe most of them breast feed. We have no cry room and I don’t know why we would need one. Why should mother’s and children be forced out of worship when they are doing a holy thing?

CDL
 
Em_in_FL said:
Please don’t speak for ALL of us who breastfeed…
I certainly don’t mind finding another place to BF out of courtesy for others.
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I used to go to the bathroom to breastfeed, but I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I have met women who were offended that a woman was feeding her baby in a restroom. Just the thought of breastfeeding disturbed these ladies.

I was very discreet and respectful of other people. If I went to another person’s house, I asked if my breast feeding bothered them. Even if I was covered well, and I always was, some women were embarrased to know that under my blanket a baby was feeding. Normally, I tried to feed in another room. This meant that I was left out of some adult conversation, but hey, that’s life.

If you came to my house, I breast fed in front of you. If you were a man, I covered myself well. If you were a woman, it depended on your reaction, but I didn’t leave the room because it was my house afterall.

Even with all my precaution, I still had women who found the whole idea of breastfeeding to be disgusting. That is why I can not automatically assume that the woman in the OP’s post wasn’t covered properly.

Amazingly enough, I never had a man walk up to me, when I had my baby’s head covered and their little feet sticking out of the blanket and ask, “What are you doing? Why is your baby’s head covered?” But I have had women ask and then act disgusted that I was feeding my child.( WHich they wouldn’t have known if they hadn’t asked.)
 
GregoryPalamas said:
I don’t understand why even if noticeable what difference it makes. A mother feeding her baby from her own body is a beautiful event. I say, thank you Lord that this mother knows what it means to be a mother and that this baby is getting blessed care from her. We always have a large group of new mothers in our Church and I believe most of them breast feed. We have no cry room and I don’t know why we would need one. Why should mother’s and children be forced out of worship when they are doing a holy thing?

CDL
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It is strange that we live in a culture in which a woman can come to church, expose her entire breast except her nipple, and be considered fashionable. I have seen women dressed so that little was left to the imagination and if she bent forward, nothing was left to the imagination.:eek:

Yet if a woman breastfeeds that is shocking.
 
St_John said:
That is a common thing to say “It makes me feel uncomfortable”. A very overused phrase, to my mind. Maybe bottle feeding makes another person feel uncomfortable, have you though of that? Maybe someone ought to start a thread “Bottlefeeding During Mass?” Some people feel that denying a helpless infant mother’s milk is harmful, and statistics do point to the fact that breastfeeding is nutritionally superiour. The American Pediatrics association advises to breastfeed for a minimum of one year.

Some people are also “uncomfortable” if they see a mother with more than 3 children. Even Catholics feel this way because they have bought into the culture of death. Maybe people who feel “uncomfortable” in the presence of a suckling babe ought to reexamine their feelings and do some research about the subject. Our culture has objectified the female body. Just as sex is considered recreation, also the breast is viewed improperly.

It’s the same with handicapped people. They make some people feel “uncomfortable”. It used to be that you were expected to institutionalize them, or at least kindly keep them out of sight. But now attitudes have changed and we are now, as a society, much more tolerant. We are more used to seeing them and it doesn’t make us so squeamish. That is a good development for our society and we need to do the same for breastfeeding mothers.
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Thank you, I agree 100%. I’m sure that Jesus made proper people uncomfortable everywhere he went. That doesn’t mean anything goes, it means we need to think about what is just and charitable, not about someones comfort level.

In every case I have ever noticed, (and many more I never noticed but must have happened), mothers were very discrete. But the legitimate needs of a infant have higher priority than someone’s possibly disordered imagination.
 
St_John said:
That is a common thing to say “It makes me feel uncomfortable”. A very overused phrase, to my mind. Maybe bottle feeding makes another person feel uncomfortable, have you though of that? Maybe someone ought to start a thread “Bottlefeeding During Mass?” Some people feel that denying a helpless infant mother’s milk is harmful, and statistics do point to the fact that breastfeeding is nutritionally superiour. The American Pediatrics association advises to breastfeed for a minimum of one year.

Some people are also “uncomfortable” if they see a mother with more than 3 children. Even Catholics feel this way because they have bought into the culture of death. Maybe people who feel “uncomfortable” in the presence of a suckling babe ought to reexamine their feelings and do some research about the subject. Our culture has objectified the female body. Just as sex is considered recreation, also the breast is viewed improperly.

It’s the same with handicapped people. They make some people feel “uncomfortable”. It used to be that you were expected to institutionalize them, or at least kindly keep them out of sight. But now attitudes have changed and we are now, as a society, much more tolerant. We are more used to seeing them and it doesn’t make us so squeamish. That is a good development for our society and we need to do the same for breastfeeding mothers.
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Amen to that St John! Let’s assume breastfeeding makes me feel “uncomfortable.” Since when is MY comfort level more important than the comfort level of the hungry baby OR the mother who is stuck in the back of the church… sitting where I might add? The back of my parish is packed with people standing along the walls… OR the comfort level of the other children left in the pew alone?

All sorts of things make ME uncomfortable… the sight of scantly clad teenagers… people who chat during mass… women who wear perfume… people who sing off key… toddlers who fidget next to me (my own!) … and my Priest who speaks so quietly he’s difficult to hear. I am so UNCOMFOTABLE and annoyed… but guess what… it isn’t about ME !! Why can’t we just live & let live?

If the sight of a mother breastfeeding her child makes you uncomfortable I have a suggestion: Don’t look.
 
carol_marie said:
Amen to that St John! Let’s assume breastfeeding makes me feel “uncomfortable.” Since when is MY comfort level more important than the comfort level of the hungry baby OR the mother who is stuck in the back of the church… sitting where I might add? The back of my parish is packed with people standing along the walls… OR the comfort level of the other children left in the pew alone?

All sorts of things make ME uncomfortable… the sight of scantly clad teenagers… people who chat during mass… women who wear perfume… people who sing off key… toddlers who fidget next to me (my own!) … and my Priest who speaks so quietly he’s difficult to hear. I am so UNCOMFOTABLE and annoyed… but guess what… it isn’t about ME !! Why can’t we just live & let live?

If the sight of a mother breastfeeding her child makes you uncomfortable I have a suggestion: Don’t look.
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Well Said:clapping:
 
Em_in_FL said:
Please don’t speak for ALL of us who breastfeed…
I certainly don’t mind finding another place to BF out of courtesy for others.
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Good for you, go to the bathroom yuck, go to the cry room, go where ever you feel comfortable, but don’t stare at me or tell me I"m doing something wrong because I’m comfortable feeding my baby discreetly wherever I need to.

It’s a shame that society has made it okay for women to expose their breast in every way except for their most functional purpose. 😦

Jennifer
 
Jennifer_J said:
Good for you, go to the bathroom yuck, go to the cry room, go where ever you feel comfortable, but don’t stare at me or tell me I"m doing something wrong because I’m comfortable feeding my baby discreetly wherever I need to.

It’s a shame that society has made it okay for women to expose their breast in every way except for their most functional purpose. 😦

Jennifer
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I second that!
 
For those who are uncomfortable seeing a mother breastfeed during mass, let me tell you as a mother who does breastfeed during mass, it makes me totally uncomfortable as well. I do it because I have to though, not because I get any kind of earth loving hippy momma kick out of it. 😛 It really disturbs me that I’m making others around me uncomfortable or maybe even sick to their stomachs. The problem is not of my making or any other mother’s making though. The problem is a societal veiw of the female breast as a sort of sexual trophy. A woman’s breast is for babies, not for sexually attracting men to her in order to make babies. When a woman exposes her breast in order to feed her child, she is not hoping to catch a fella’s eye to inspire lust (in fact, she’s most likely very worried about having her breast exposed in the first place). The purpose of breasts is making milk to feed young. Obviously men are turned on by them, but that’s a side effect, the sole purpose of a woman’s breast is not to attract a man.

Please keep this in mind when you see a woman breastfeeding at mass or anywhere else. Please don’t stare at her. I hate being looked at when I’m feeding my son. I don’t want any accolades, I don’t want to be noticed in the very least. I just want to fill his tummy and get him to be quiet so I can listen to and participate in the mass. It takes far more time for me to move elsewhere than it does for me to just feed him where I’m sitting. I have to pick up my bags, while wrangling an infant who’s grabbed a hold of my hair or my eye glasses hollering and pushing his face into my cheek wanting me to feed him. All this is a monsterous distraction during the mass as compared to sitting where I am, undoing a few buttons and a snap. Maybe two or three people at the most might know what I’m up to if I stay where I am. If I try to move, the entire parish hears him.

I try very hard to delay him as long as I can, hoping I can wait till after mass. Sometimes I can distract him with toys or a blanket, but sometimes he’s hungry, and wants to eat immediately. I’m very sorry to those who are made uncomfortable, I feel the same way. It only takes a few minutes for him to be satisfied though. Just don’t look, please. At least he’s not going to spill anything or throw it across the church! 😛
 
BeeSweet,
Great post ~ you pretty much said it all.

Your little “Sir Fussalot” is blessed to have you for a mom!
 
Amen BeeSweet!!! I am so sick and tired of people acting like breastfeeding is pornography!!! God made breasts to feed our young, if men get some thrill out of them, it is because they are amused by what they don’t have. To be offended by a mother feeding her baby is just ludicris. Hello? Would you rather see her starve her baby so you don’t have to notice? Would the child crying through mass because mom wouldn’t nurse help you concentrate more than if she did? I have only once seen a woman nursing that made me uncomfortable. She decided to “air dry” after feeding in the middle of a restaurant I worked in…ok, that was just too far…most moms that nurse are so discreet you barely notice.
 
Em_in_FL said:
Why do we HAVE to force our (wonderful, beautiful, natural) agenda on others???

How difficult would it be to walk to the VERY BACK of the church so as not to distract others???

Just my thoughts…
And I don’t think Mary would have been forcing any agenda (no matter how wonderful, beautiful, natural) on those who were made uncomfortable by the act… using Mary as a guilt trip isn’t very charitable.
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I think you are mistaking the passion of the posters for an ‘agenda’. These are normal, reasonable people who are trying to do what is natural and best for their child while deflecting harsh criticisms and unfair judgements by people who for some sad reason think that if another person can tell or even suspect you are breastfeeding, you are guilty of an act of immodesty.

Guess what? The back is the worst place to sit if you don’t want any attention. Everyone coming back from communion, headed for the restroom, etc, will be facing you. If you have an older church, with the sanctuary in the shape of the cross, find a corner on the side. That’s the best place for privacy. Otherwise, sit up front, with your back to everyone. If someone (like the original poster) notices, then they aren’t focusing on the mass enough.

I think accusing the poster of using Mary as a guilt trip is what is uncharitable. I think it is perfectly reasonable to refer to the Blessed Virgin Mother as a role model in this.
 
BeeSweet said:
For those who are uncomfortable seeing a mother breastfeed during mass, let me tell you as a mother who does breastfeed during mass, it makes me totally uncomfortable as well. I do it because I have to though, not because I get any kind of earth loving hippy momma kick out of it. 😛 It really disturbs me that I’m making others around me uncomfortable or maybe even sick to their stomachs. The problem is not of my making or any other mother’s making though. The problem is a societal veiw of the female breast as a sort of sexual trophy. A woman’s breast is for babies, not for sexually attracting men to her in order to make babies. When a woman exposes her breast in order to feed her child, she is not hoping to catch a fella’s eye to inspire lust (in fact, she’s most likely very worried about having her breast exposed in the first place). The purpose of breasts is making milk to feed young. Obviously men are turned on by them, but that’s a side effect, the sole purpose of a woman’s breast is not to attract a man.

Please keep this in mind when you see a woman breastfeeding at mass or anywhere else. Please don’t stare at her. I hate being looked at when I’m feeding my son. I don’t want any accolades, I don’t want to be noticed in the very least. I just want to fill his tummy and get him to be quiet so I can listen to and participate in the mass. It takes far more time for me to move elsewhere than it does for me to just feed him where I’m sitting. I have to pick up my bags, while wrangling an infant who’s grabbed a hold of my hair or my eye glasses hollering and pushing his face into my cheek wanting me to feed him. All this is a monsterous distraction during the mass as compared to sitting where I am, undoing a few buttons and a snap. Maybe two or three people at the most might know what I’m up to if I stay where I am. If I try to move, the entire parish hears him.

I try very hard to delay him as long as I can, hoping I can wait till after mass. Sometimes I can distract him with toys or a blanket, but sometimes he’s hungry, and wants to eat immediately. I’m very sorry to those who are made uncomfortable, I feel the same way. It only takes a few minutes for him to be satisfied though. Just don’t look, please. At least he’s not going to spill anything or throw it across the church! 😛
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:clapping: :tiphat: I dont have any children and I must admit I felt weird whenever I would see a mother breastfeed, that was before I was an aunt (10+ years ago). Now seeing a women breastfeed a child actually brings tears to my eyes, its such a beautiful and amazing act! God NEVER ceases to amaze me 👍
 
Mummybee said:
I think you are mistaking the passion of the posters for an ‘agenda’. These are normal, reasonable people who are trying to do what is natural and best for their child while deflecting harsh criticisms and unfair judgements by people who for some sad reason think that if another person can tell or even suspect you are breastfeeding, you are guilty of an act of immodesty.

Guess what? The back is the worst place to sit if you don’t want any attention. Everyone coming back from communion, headed for the restroom, etc, will be facing you. If you have an older church, with the sanctuary in the shape of the cross, find a corner on the side. That’s the best place for privacy. Otherwise, sit up front, with your back to everyone. If someone (like the original poster) notices, then they aren’t focusing on the mass enough.

I think accusing the poster of using Mary as a guilt trip is what is uncharitable. I think it is perfectly reasonable to refer to the Blessed Virgin Mother as a role model in this.
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Ya’ll aren’t really reading my posts are you? Just pulling out segments… :rolleyes:

I’m ALL FOR BF’ing… period.

This is not a “comfort” issue… it’s a respect issue. Some people (not me) may find BF’ing during Mass disrespectful (they obviously do… hence this thread!)

Out of respect and charity for my neighbor… I would avoid BF’ing during Mass… or if I had to, I’d find a suitable location (back, side… I don’t care where).

My point was that there HAVE been two independent threads on this same subject… OTHERS DO FIND THIS DISRESPECTFUL.

Mary is a beautiful example of a breastfeeding mother… very true!
But I doubt she had whispering conversations about her (on message boards and whatnot 😉 ) about how she may have made someone else feel uncomfortable. She was sinless in ALL aspects… 👍

Again… there CAN be compromises.
100% pro-breastfeeding…
100% respect for our neighbors.
 
Em_in_FL said:
Ya’ll aren’t really reading my posts are you? Just pulling out segments… :rolleyes:

I’m ALL FOR BF’ing… period.

This is not a “comfort” issue… it’s a respect issue. Some people (not me) may find BF’ing during Mass disrespectful (they obviously do… hence this thread!)

Out of respect and charity for my neighbor… I would avoid BF’ing during Mass… or if I had to, I’d find a suitable location (back, side… I don’t care where).

My point was that there HAVE been two independent threads on this same subject… OTHERS DO FIND THIS DISRESPECTFUL.

Mary is a beautiful example of a breastfeeding mother… very true!
But I doubt she had whispering conversations about her (on message boards and whatnot 😉 ) about how she may have made someone else feel uncomfortable. She was sinless in ALL aspects… 👍

Again… there CAN be compromises.
100% pro-breastfeeding…
100% respect for our neighbors.
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I’ve read all your posts and disagree with them. That’s life.

I don’t know that the posters have found it disrespectful so much as they don’t know how to avert their gaze. Most mothers can breastfeed discreetly and no one would be the wiser–those that can’t might need to take evasive manuvers 😛 . Some people are horrified at just the thought of breastfeeding. I respect my neighbors by not dragging 5 children and a screaming baby down the aisle at church so I can breastfeed in the bathroom. The neighbors also have a responsiblity to keep their eyes and attention where it belongs. It’s not a one way street where I am morally responsible for everything another person thinks or thinks they see or thinks they might see.

Jennifer
 
Jennifer_J said:
The neighbors also have a responsiblity to keep their eyes and attention where it belongs. It’s not a one way street where I am morally responsible for everything another person thinks or thinks they see or thinks they might see.
Jennifer
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Exactly. If you don’t like to see it, DON’T LOOK!!! Your eyes should be on the altar anyway during mass, shouldn’t they?
I just don’t understand this argument that it’s the mother’s fault by simply feeding her child, that someone else gets upset. So should we stop everything in mass that might distract someone? What if a man has a foot fetish, should every woman who comes to mass be forbidden to wear sandals or open-toe shoes in the summer? Where does it stop? When do people start taking responsibility for their own actions and thoughts?
 
Teakafrog said:
Exactly. If you don’t like to see it, DON’T LOOK!!! Your eyes should be on the altar anyway during mass, shouldn’t they?
I just don’t understand this argument that it’s the mother’s fault by simply feeding her child, that someone else gets upset. So should we stop everything in mass that might distract someone? What if a man has a foot fetish, should every woman who comes to mass be forbidden to wear sandals or open-toe shoes in the summer? Where does it stop? When do people start taking responsibility for their own actions and thoughts?
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Sadly, yes, there ARE people who feel that women should not wear open toes shoes or even tops that show any arm above a wrist to church.

I am willing to bet many mothers have breast fed their infants in church and most people were not even aware it was happening.
 
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