Breastfeeding...an Obligation?

[kamz]

deb1:

I am feeling very bad for the women that didn’t bf. They are getting a major guilt trip. I bf my children, but I don’t think that any woman should feel guilty if she didn’t bf. Her reasons are really none of my business.

Thank You So Much, I can’t imagine trying to make someone feel guilty over breast feeding or not or staying home with your kids or working outside the home or whatever, maybe a person needs to ask themselves why they feel the need to make another person feel guilty and try to mask it with well, its the right thing to do for the baby or whatever. When I get to Heaven I’m going to ask our Heavenly Father what he thinks, breast, bottle, both
Really, I should only care what God thinks of me, but human that I am, it is nice to feel like my fellow mom’s are not passing judgement on me, it really hurts more than I care to admit.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

deb1:

I am feeling very bad for the women that didn’t bf. They are getting a major guilt trip. I bf my children, but I don’t think that any woman should feel guilty if she didn’t bf. Her reasons are really none of my business.

What do you mean? I have said nothing that should make anyone doing the right thing for their situation feel guilty, bf or not bf.

 

[kamz]

lifeisbeautiful, deb didn’t say you, I don’t see your name anywhere in her post, she is saying generally speaking from reading through all the posts, it looks like people who choose not to breast feed are getting beat up a little but it’s just her opinion and I agreed with her, there have been breastfeeding threads in the past and this same thing happens every single time, this is not the first and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last.

 

[kamz]

I have Breastfed both children for two years. I don’t think it is a moral question. My mom is a lactation consultant and she always says, yeah - breastfeeding is ideal. There are a slew of medical journal papers saying so. But if you can’t, don’t beat yourself up about it. Breastfeeding makes bonding with the child easier because you have to touch it when you feed it. But bottlefeeding moms who touch the baby and hold and snuggle the baby when giving the bottle bond just as much. It doesn’t make the kids any “better” in the long run, although there really are nutritional reasons breastmilk is better. Problems arise when a bottle is proped in a crib to feed a baby and there is no parenting going on.
I was too lazy to bottlefeed. I can’t imagine having to get up in the middle of the night to feed a baby. I always enjoyed feeding in my sleep, literally. I would wake up with a full night of sleep and no bottles to wash! Of course breastfeeding is not an obligation, it was just the best for me and my family.
[/quote]

I know about the bottle washing thing, we used playtex drop ins so it wasn’t bad at all and for me it was nice since hubby and I took turns, my time one time his time one time and he loved it, I would have to get up and sneak a look while he rocked one of our kids and fed them and sang and talked to them and then if he caught me looking he would be all (what??) and we would both start laughing. Both bf and btf can be very wonderful if you make it that way, I found bottlefeeding very wonderful, I never propped the bottle, I always made it a quiet snuggle time and I also weaned to sipper cup at a year so we would not have the dreaded dental problems but…my daughter used the NUK for far too long and now she is in braces, that is a whole nother story

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

Affirmed:

Babies who are not breastfed do not end up any worse for the wear than ones who are. It’s a personal choice for the mother. Personally I do not plan to marry or have children, but in the event that I do, my children will be bottle fed.

What do you mean “do not end up any worse for the wear”?

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

kamz:

lifeisbeautiful, deb didn’t say you, I don’t see your name anywhere in her post, she is saying generally speaking from reading through all the posts, it looks like people who choose not to breast feed are getting beat up a little but it’s just her opinion and I agreed with her, there have been breastfeeding threads in the past and this same thing happens every single time, this is not the first and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last.

It is posted as a reply to my post rather than as a reply under the main post.
Anyways, my opinion is still the same, each case is unique and reasons behind the decision is what matters.

 

[kamz]

lifeisbeautiful:

It is posted as a reply to my post rather than as a reply under the main post.
Anyways, my opinion is still the same, each case is unique and reasons behind the decision is what matters.

Well, thanks for clearing that up, your right, that is your opinion, and my opinion is that bottle feeding is just as good for a baby and if a parent takes the time to cuddle, bond and love it is not selfish, in my opinion. Thats whats great about opinions, we all have one and we all get one and in our own homes and with our own kids we can all feel like we did what was right.
That is what is most important, doing what is right for your own child.
Peace

 

[Forest-Pine]

kamz:

That is what is most important, doing what is right for your own child.
Peace

Precisely what the church says as well (that there is a lot of subjective stuff going into the decision including the parents’ own good, the good of the family as a whole, the spiritual and material status of the family, etc, and it all boils down to what the parents think is best):

Pope John Paul II on Marriage
Responsible Parenthood
General Audience of August 1, 1984

Ruled by Conscience

…[T]he Council teaches that married couples “shall fulfill their role with a sense of human and Christian responsibility and the formation of correct judgments through docile respect for God” (GS 50). This involves “common reflection and effort; it also involves a consideration of their own good and the good of their children already born or yet to come, an ability to read the signs of the times and of their own situation on the material and spiritual level, and finally, an estimation of the good of the family, of society and of the Church” (GS 50).

At this point there follow words of particular importance to determine with greater precision the moral character of “responsible parenthood.” We read:** “It is the married couple themselves who must in the last analysis arrive at these judgments before God”** (GS 50).

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

kamz:

Well, thanks for clearing that up, your right, that is your opinion, and my opinion is that bottle feeding is just as good for a baby and if a parent takes the time to cuddle, bond and love it is not selfish, in my opinion. Thats whats great about opinions, we all have one and we all get one and in our own homes and with our own kids we can all feel like we did what was right.
That is what is most important, doing what is right for your own child.
Peace

Not to drag a dead horse, but one more thing, it is medically proven that breast milk is better for a baby as a source of nutrients and antibodies, even formula companies state it. But this does not mean that in all families it is the best option. Bottle may be the best for some cases. It just seems to me that you thought I was saying otherwise. Just wanted to be clear. Its the reason that matters (whether its for the child’s/family’s/marriage’s welfare, or other not so noble reasons). The only ones who know are the ones that are involved.

 

[kamz]

lifeisbeautiful:

Not to drag a dead horse, but one more thing, it is medically proven that breast milk is better for a baby as a source of nutrients and antibodies, even formula companies state it. But this does not mean that in all families it is the best option. Bottle may be the best for some cases. It just seems to me that you thought I was saying otherwise. Just wanted to be clear. Its the reason that matters (whether its for the child’s/family’s/marriage’s welfare, or other not so noble reasons). The only ones who know are the ones that are involved.

I totally agree with you, I don’t know of any mom who doesn’t do her research while pregnant and take great pains to give her child what “she” feels is best for her child. No matter which way a parent chooses to feed their baby, I’m sure that each feels they are doing the very best they can for their baby and that in the end is the bottom line, a parent doing what they feel in their heart is the right thing for their family.
Peace

 

[Affirmed]

What do you mean “do not end up any worse for the wear”?

It’s an expression. It means that they don’t end up any better or worse off than those tha were breastfed.

 

[Island_Oak]

**It’s not an obligation…**What is “best” to do is what is best for that parent to do with that child at that time.

…But I’ve also got enough time in the mommy trenches to know not to judge another mother trying to do her best for each of her children.

We mom’s need to find ways to support and encourage each other in this sometimes overwhelming calling of motherhood–not point fingers, judge nor condemn. The choices I make for my kids reflect their needs and my best efforts to meet them within my capability. I presume the same with respect to other moms absent some evidence to the contrary.

 

[kamz]

We mom’s need to find ways to support and encourage each other in this sometimes overwhelming calling of motherhood–not point fingers, judge nor condemn. The choices I make for my kids reflect their needs and my best efforts to meet them within my capability. I presume the same with respect to other moms absent some evidence to the contrary.

:clapping: You hit the nail right on.

 

[deb1]

lifeisbeautiful:

It is posted as a reply to my post rather than as a reply under the main post.
Anyways, my opinion is still the same, each case is unique and reasons behind the decision is what matters.

I was not responding to anyone specifically, more the general spirit of some of the posters. I am not certain what you meant that it was 'posted as a reply to my post and not the main post.’ I didn’t quote anyone, so there was no one person that my comment was directed too.

I am very sorry if you thought that I was picking on you. That was not my intent.

 

[TAS2000]

I am not certain what you meant that it was 'posted as a reply to my post and not the main post.’

Thank you! I was wondering about this too. How do you reply to a post and not the whole thread? I didn’t know that was possible.

This arguement could be carried further. We are coming to learn that all the chemicals and preservatives, etc. in our food can be bad. So are we morally obligated to stop eating it and all start raising our own organically grown gardens and raising our own livestock? After all, that would be nutritionally “best” and we shouldn’t let our selfish motives about having time to do other things, or not wanting to be farmers stop us from doing what is “best”.

Also, we could say that we must stop eating all ice cream, chocolate, etc. because there are better choices available to us. Have a bowl of brocolli instead.

And it seems automobiles polute, so we need to stop buying and using them. Busses too. Walking is best, so if we REALLY want to do what is best, we should just get off our lazy selfish butts and walk to work and the store. After all, that is what is best.

So if I put the sarcasm aside, can we all now see that BEST is relative? One choice might be better nutritionally, but when you take into account other factors, it may not be the best overall choice for a given situation. And it is relatively easy to say “we should all walk to work”, or even that “I would never take a job so far away that I had to use a car to get there.” But other people may not be so lucky as to have that choice.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

deb1:

No problem. If you look at the thread in hybrid or threaded mode you can see who you posted under.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

TAS2000:

If you look at the thread in hybrid or threaded mode you can see who you posted under.

Anyways, I agree that although breastfeeding is better nutritionally, bottle feeding may be better in some families for other reasons.

 

[TAS2000]

I always just hit the post reply button. Then which one do you get? I will have to look at the hybrid view. maybe you guys have more buttons that way?

 

[TAS2000]

Well, that was interesting. I just tried that hybrid view you mentioned. It looks like all my posts fall “under” your reply. It seems as though if you just hit the post reply button at the bottom of the list of messages, then it goes “under” whoever the last post was under. I didn’t even know that was an option. I am fairly computer savy (an engineer by trade) but this is the only internet chat forum I have ever used. I am not up on all the acronyms, but I can usually figure them out from context.
I’d venture that many people here don’t even know that you can reply to a reply, rather then the original post. With that in mind, you might assume charity as the better part if somone replies. I always assumed that unless someone mentioned me or quoted my stuff that they were just talking about the whole post, not a specific person or their veiws.

 

[deb1]

TAS2000:

Well, that was interesting. I just tried that hybrid view you mentioned. It looks like all my posts fall “under” your reply. It seems as though if you just hit the post reply button at the bottom of the list of messages, then it goes “under” whoever the last post was under. I didn’t even know that was an option. I am fairly computer savy (an engineer by trade) but this is the only internet chat forum I have ever used. I am not up on all the acronyms, but I can usually figure them out from context.
.

I had no idea either. Well, you learn something new everyday, don’t you. Glad to see that an engineer is as lost as I am.

I just hit the reply button to post. How else should I post?