Breastfeeding...an Obligation?

[lifeisbeautiful]

deb1:

I had no idea either. Well, you learn something new everyday, don’t you. Glad to see that an engineer is as lost as I am.

I just hit the reply button to post. How else should I post?

Hey cool, I’m an engineer too.
I used to go to some other Catholic forums and they were in the the threaded format so rather than quoting each other people would post under each other, but its a little more confusing to do it here. Anyways, I don’t think you have to worry bout it cause it seems like people here don’t really do it. I was trying to figure out how to post under someone, but the only way I found was to click on quote, then delete the quote and type. Go figure.

 

[Forest-Pine]

Just for any one interested, the original topic of this thread was answered in the Ask an Apologist forum.
Michelle Arnold:

The moral obligation is to feed your baby. How you feed your baby, whether by breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, is a matter of prudential judgment. So, while bottle-feeding for the sake of convenience or for some other reason that does not depend on necessity may be imprudent, it is not immoral. Only if a person directly intended to malnourish her child by choosing to bottle-feed rather than breastfeed would there be a moral problem, but the problem would be with the intent to malnourish a child and not with bottle-feeding.

As a side note that may be of interest to Catholic mothers: The well-known breastfeeding advocacy organization known as the La Leche League International was founded by a group of Catholic mothers working in concert with Catholic physicians. The name given to the group, which is Spanish for “The Milk,” comes from a Spanish title given to the Blessed Mother, Our Lady of the Milk and Happy Delivery (Spanish, Nuestra Senora de la Leche y Buen Parto).

Recommended reading:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by the La Leche League
Seven Voices, One Dream by Mary Ann Cahill (scroll)
The LLLove Story by Kaye Lowman (scroll)

 

[spacecadet]

mdmealey:

I wanted to know if anyone has any citations for a discussion about our obligation to do what is good versus what is best?

I’m specifically thinking about breastfeeding. Obviously, BFing is “best” for a baby, but we are not obligated to do what is “best,” only what is good. Feeding our children so that they grow and are healthy is “good.”

Can anyone give me a reason why we would be obligated to do the “best” in this case? (assuming you don’t have health issues but for other reasons don’t want to BF)

Thanks!

I tend to think of not breastfeeding as a societal sin, meaning that the way in which our society has jeopardized many women who want to but are unable to: lack of knowledge, resources, etc… please don’t take that to mean a woman who doesn’t bf is sinning, that isn’t what i mean, i mean that society has done an injustice by ruining her chances of doing so. i also think that a woman who could bf and simply opts out of doing so is being selfish. just because some formula fed children are healthy doesn’t mean all are. a child is at a higher risk for various cancers, chron’s disease, diabetes, asthma, ear infections, diarrehal infections, bacterial menegitis, respiratory infections, etc…you can read the rest promom.org/101/ i know in my family the kids that were bf the least have asthma, allergies, and GI problems.

here are some sites that might be of interest to you.
ccli.org/nfp/ebf/jp2.php
Pope JP II’s thoughts…

In practical terms, what we are saying is that mothers need time, information and support. So much is expected of women in many societies that time to devote to breast-feeding and early care is not always available. Unlike other modes of feeding, no one can substitute for the mother in this natural activity. Likewise, women have a right to be informed truthfully about the advantages of this practice, as also about the difficulties involved in some cases. Healthcare professionals, too, should be encouraged and properly trained to help women in these matters… Is this a vague utopia, or is it the obligatory path to the genuine well-being of society? Even this brief reflection on the very individual and private act of a mother feeding her infant can lead us to a deep and far-ranging critical rethinking of certain social and economic presuppositions, the negative human and moral consequences of which are becoming more and more difficult to ignore. Certainly, a radical re-examination of many aspects of prevailing socio-economic patterns of work, economic competitiveness and lack of attention to the needs of the family is urgently necessary.

ccli.org/nfp/ebf/pius12.php
Pope Pius XII’s thoughts…

This is the reason why, except where quite impossible, it is more desirable that the mother should feed her child at her own breast. Who shall say what mysterious influences are exerted upon the growth of that little creature by the mother upon whom it depends entirely for its development.

various other bible references, etc…
geocities.com/Heartland/Ridge/1989/famtopics/brfding.html
aboverubies.org/articles/Breastfeed.html
home.earthlink.net/~mcjohnson/herstuff/breastfeedinghonorsgod.html
geocities.com/Heartland/8148/verses.html

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

kamz:

And all I can say is, I give my everything to my children and I chose not to breast feed any of my kids, medically I could not but belive me, if threre was nothing wrong with me I still would not have breastfed my kids, I simply had no desire, none, does that make me a bad mom? Says who? I did not have any desire to breast feed my kids but I love them more than I can begin to express, I would lay down my life for them, you know, your a mom but I will not breast feed them, simple and plain and I am the most non selfish person I know, I give 100% of my life to my kids, but I don’t give them my breast
How can someone not feel hurt if they feel someone is saying they are immoral, not a good mom or even a selfish mom if they didn’t breast feed because the thought simply wasn’t appealing to them? I think the whole thing is silly and blown way way way out of proportion.
And I’m directing this to anyone who would dare say that a mother is immoral or sinful for not breastfeeding if there was nothing preventing her from doing so.

Actually, I think the selfish = immoral post was accurate. I can’t tell you how often I do things every single day that I do not find personally appealing. I suck it up and do it anyhow for no reason other than it’s the best thing for my family. Such is the life of a parent.

**Curious to know what reactions there would be if the opposite scene was given? **

I’ve bottle fed when neccessary. Personally, I hate bottles - I don’t even like breastmilk bottles. But the best thing for that baby at that time was a formula bottle, so that’s what I did. Now, what kind of selfish mother would I have been if I had said, “I don’t care if that’s best or not. I’m not going to give him a bottle because I don’t like doing it.”?

---

Everyone would probably agree that I was not being the best mother I could be to my child. They would probably agree that I should put what’s best for my child before my own desires.

---

Why is is any different when it’s bf-ing?

 

[kamz]

RobsWife,
I personally was not able to breastfeed my children due to the fact that I have to be on paxil for anxiety/depression and also, I’ve suffered from migraines since I was 8 years old and have to take pain killers several times a month, so, breastfeeding was not even an option for me, but even if it was, that was my decision to make.
My mom is the second oldest of 11 children, she had three children all of us were bottle fed, my mom watched her mother breast feed and she remembers it has nothing short of a nightmare, my mom never even considered breast feeding and she is an amazing woman, she gave 100% and then some, things happened in our life that I won’t even share with anyone and mom gave more than anyone I know, she did not have to, but she did, but she did not give me the breast or my siblings, she just didn’t have any desire for it and that was that, was she selfish?? I dare you to say she was, because my mom is the most amazing person I have ever met, she is the most unselfish person I have ever met, she would give me or anyone the shirt off her back if you needed it. Like I said, when we start to point fingers what does that say about us? Please, please, don’t you hurt me or any other mom who chooses not to breast feed for Whatever reason we feel like and call us a selfish mom for not wanting to breast feed, that is the most un christian and un charitable attitude I’ve ever witnessed, when we start to pass our judgement.
Some things need to be kept to one’s self.
I find your post very, very hurtful, I am a good mother, just as good as you, do you know me??? No, you don’t, how dare you or anyone else in the world pass your judements onto a mother because she didn’t want to breastfeed? You can state that in your opinion breast was best for you and yours but don’t state that because me, or my mom or my sister or my aunt or my grandma chose to breastfeed for whatever the reason might be, that we are selfish. wow, I can’t belive how hurtful other women can be who say they are christians, I’m very hurt, very.

 

[Rob_s_Wife]

Kamz,

With due respect, your hurt is due to you’re reading more into my post than is there. I have not read a single post that said you were a bad mother and that it not what I wrote. I wrote in response to your clear statement that, although you bottle feed for medical reasons, you would “never” have chosen to bf anyhow because it did “not appeal” to you.

**The questions presented were if breastfeeding is an obligation. I wrote that breastfeeding in and of itself is not an obligation. We are obligated to do what is best for our children. Be it bf-ing or bottle.

Which led to the question of intent/reason being the basis for whether choosing not to bf for selfish reasons was wrong if it is truely the best thing for the baby. I gave the scenario of the mother who knows the bottle is best and for personal and selfish reasons alone chooses to breastfeed anyhow. I proposed that if one is wrong, then the other should also be wrong as the goal should be to do what is best for the child regardless of whether it is bottle or breast. It would be selfish to do otherwise.

Selfishness is the act or emotion of placing personal wants or needs before anothers.

This doesn’t mean either mother does not give in many other unselfish ways to her children. But the topic being discussed is specific to bf-ing. We are not judging the merits of any mother’s entire parental career on whether she bf-ed or not! We are discussing bf-ing. Everyone commits acts of selfishness at times. It is our fallen nature. That doesn’t mean they are bad mothers or wives. It means they are human.

I’m sorry you misunderstood my post. It was not in any way intended to hurt you or any other mother.

kamz:

RobsWife,
I personally was not able to breastfeed my children due to the fact that I have to be on paxil for anxiety/depression and also, I’ve suffered from migraines since I was 8 years old and have to take pain killers several times a month, so, breastfeeding was not even an option for me, but even if it was, that was my decision to make.
My mom is the second oldest of 11 children, she had three children all of us were bottle fed, my mom watched her mother breast feed and she remembers it has nothing short of a nightmare, my mom never even considered breast feeding and she is an amazing woman, she gave 100% and then some, things happened in our life that I won’t even share with anyone and mom gave more than anyone I know, she did not have to, but she did, but she did not give me the breast or my siblings, she just didn’t have any desire for it and that was that, was she selfish?? I dare you to say she was, because my mom is the most amazing person I have ever met, she is the most unselfish person I have ever met, she would give me or anyone the shirt off her back if you needed it. Like I said, when we start to point fingers what does that say about us? Please, please, don’t you hurt me or any other mom who chooses not to breast feed for Whatever reason we feel like and call us a selfish mom for not wanting to breast feed, that is the most un christian and un charitable attitude I’ve ever witnessed, when we start to pass our judgement.
Some things need to be kept to one’s self.
I find your post very, very hurtful, I am a good mother, just as good as you, do you know me??? No, you don’t, how dare you or anyone else in the world pass your judements onto a mother because she didn’t want to breastfeed? You can state that in your opinion breast was best for you and yours but don’t state that because me, or my mom or my sister or my aunt or my grandma chose to breastfeed for whatever the reason might be, that we are selfish. wow, I can’t belive how hurtful other women can be who say they are christians, I’m very hurt, very.

 

[Ana]

Someone asked for an unselfish reason not to breastfeed. Here’s one … Past sexual abuse have made my breasts a very tender “mental” point with me. I feel panicky and tense and cannot “let down”, I tried with two of my three kids. It was way to stressful and triggered interior torment.

Wish I could have, though. Just too messed up in the head I guess.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Ana:

Someone asked for an unselfish reason not to breastfeed. Here’s one … Past sexual abuse have made my breasts a very tender “mental” point with me. I feel panicky and tense and cannot “let down”, I tried with two of my three kids. It was way to stressful and triggered interior torment.

Wish I could have, though. Just too messed up in the head I guess.

It may have been me who asked… I would consider your situation as “not being able” to breastfeed. You said yourself that you wish you could have.

Malia

 

[Julian_Peters]

Thank you to all those who have participated in this discussion. This thread is now closed.