Building a wall

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True. As Catholics, we should be humble enough to accept valid criticism to help us change for the better.

To not do so is prideful.
 
Jump4Joy said:
Why can’t people follow the good, honest advice given to them instead of getting defensive?
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There’s a big difference between “good, honest advice” and constant, belittling criticism. I’ll bet you would never tolerate someone treating you the way you treat him.
 
Isn’t belittling in the eye of the beholder? Wouldn’t a confident person not feel belittled? It’s all perception. Some people think anyone telling them the truth is cruel. What’s too aggressive and what’s too sensitive?
 
Work on yourself first. You are so convinced you are right that I for one am unconvinced. If I were the person you are talking about I’d run very far from you.
 
Jump4Joy said:
To be vulnerable and honest, I can get FRUSTRATED my life is not exactly how I planned and wished it could be. It can annoying seeing someone waste their life away.
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I sense this from a lot of your posts - it’s why I said you need to allow yourself to find peace. That means not pointing out flaws in others, and emptying your life of those who constantly criticise you. Take a step back and really evaluate what you have in your life, and what you want out of it. And then go to a therapist and work out techniques with them so you can get there.
 
How can I manage to be honest without belittling? When is it too much to give an opinion or tell the truth?
 
Jump4Joy said:
When is it too much to give an opinion or tell the truth?
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When the person has repeatedly told you to stop, when they have had to go so far as to block you, as you said he has. You have obviously gone way TOO far. But you don’t care enough about him to care what you’re doing to him. You seem to only care that you are “right,” because you being right is the only thing that’s important.
At least, that’s how you come across here. And since he’s had to block you, it’s fair to assume that’s how you come across to him, too.
The best thing you could do for him at this point is apologize, and then get out of his life.
 
I thought by regularly and steadfastly holding to the truth he would change. Not going to change what I see is right to appease him.
 
Jump4Joy said:
I thought by regularly and steadfastly holding to the truth he would change. Not going to change what I see is right to appease him
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Then at least pretend to care about him long enough to apologize, and get out of his life.
 
Jump4Joy said:
I thought by regularly and steadfastly holding to the truth he would change. Not going to change what I see is right to appease him.
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So what you want is for others to change when you tell them, but not to change when others tell you that you should?
 
Jump4Joy said:
How can I manage to be honest without belittling? When is it too much to give an opinion or tell the truth?
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Jump, honestly, you have been asking this same question, in many forms, for literally, years.

Doesn’t that tell you anything? Doesn’t it ever occur to you that you are the one that might have the problem? It doesn’t matter if you are “right” or wrong, you need to leave people alone and stop trying to change them. They are not asking for your (name removed by moderator)ut and yet you keep telling them what is wrong with them. And then, you say it’s for their benefit, or you are admonishing the sinner. No, you are excusing your own behavior by saying its for them.

I can’t say that I would blame this guy for ditching you.

In the past, you have had threads about people pointing out your faults, threads about you pointing out others faults, threads asking where to draw the line for criticism, and the bottom line is that it all comes down to you. Get help with judging people and with caring too much about who is right and who is wrong.

Professional help would sort this all out for you.
 
I’m still wondering if I want to change or remain in my comfort zone. What does that mean for me? Thes
 
Jump4Joy said:
I’m still wondering if I want to change or remain in my comfort zone.
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Your “comfort zone” sounds more like a “misery zone”. I agree that you need professional counseling. You’re not going to be able to work this out on your own without serious help, and if you don’t get help, you’ll end up growing up and dying a profoundly unhappy individual. Don’t waste the opportunity of having a happy life. Get help now!
 
O my dear, you sound very young. If this is a potentially romantic relationship, and your goal is to change him, you are very sadly falling into an all too typical error for young women. You will ruin any potential relationship. Set him free from your grasp. You are too controlling, and the vast majority of people hate such control.
 
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