Can a 9 year old altar server be refused holy communion

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jacque
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Jacque said:
My husband says he is asserting his fatherly right by requiring his son sit next to him at Mass. I
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Really?!
Does your husband behave like a 'control freak" in other situations?

I’m sorry, but this is crazy. What does your husband hope to gain by acting like a tyrant towards your son?

Are you sure there is not more going on here? Could your husband be worried about your son spending time with the priest? Could your husband be projecting his own feelings/situations onto your son?
 
No one has explicitly said this yet, so I’m going to go ahead and say it’s been obvious from the start of this thread that you and your husband are having marital issues. You two need to work those out together and not drag your son into it. Right now he’s being used as a pawn. Trust me, I know what that looks like, I am the son of divorced parents.

I find myself sympathizing with your husband, and I really think you need to try to look at things from his perspective. He wants to be with his son during Mass on Sundays. That is NOT an unreasonable request. It might even help his stunted spirituality that you are alleging. Your son can serve on Saturdays.
 
Jacque said:
. I begged my husband to let our son have happy memories at church
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Your son can have happy memories of sitting beside his dad at Mass. That would be a precious memory.

Honestly, it seems as if you and your husband are using Altar Serving and Mass as a weapon against each other. The only one who will be bruised by this sort of conflict will be your son.
 
phil19034 said:
Please do not be mad at father. INSTEAD, speak with your husband. Figure out why your husband doesn’t want your son serving.
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This. Honestly, it sounds like the priest is caught in the middle of the conflict, not the mom. The family’s division has placed him in an awkward, compromising, and probably unfair position. Actually, the same could be said for the boy. At the heart of this issue is something amiss within the marriage.
 
May have missed it, but is there some type of custody issue involved? Husband attending different Parish and Mass?
 
Yes sounds like a good kid. my husband and I were told you only receive once either the Vigil or the Sunday Mass. He drives and stays with me at Vigil and then attends Sunday morning Mass and receives.
 
This isn’t true. You may receive up to twice per day, provided the second time is within the context of Mass. The vigil occurs on Saturday, and thus is on a separate calendar day than Sunday. You could receive on Saturday morning at the weekday Mass, then again at the vigil, and then twice on Sunday, in theory.
 
I’m sorry attending Mass is not about prioritizing sitting together over contemplating about Christ’s saving sacrifice. As a mother I too miss my son sitting next to me when he serves at the altar but I believe and put into practice that we must not force our children to sit next to us over sitting closer to Jesus’ real presence that occurs on the altar.

I’m not going to leverage the 4th commandment to put myself between my son and his eagerness to serve God during his routine schedule. Neither the priest nor the father should leverage the 4th on anyone including children trying to exercise the 1st commandment, this way we are teaching them the right order of things. The father with the assistance of the priest have achieved a short term gain in the form of honor from the child but are risking the long term love from the child.

This is not a marital issue. Although it might be easy for most to blame it on our marriage than blame it on weak men who care more about their adult feelings than allow a child to exercise his free will to chose God.

I’m not surprised by most in this topic having adultlike expectations from a child and none from the priest and father as they too could have been conditioned into adulthood the same way as they suggest my son should. You can test me on this ask children who is the most important person in their lives they will mention some adult in their life and not God. Christianity is about having a personal relationship with God, a break in this relationship is the definition of sin, a strain in this relationship is a sign of luke warmness. Too bad many Christians unlike Christ will not fight for rights of children. No wonder children are still the most vulnerable in our society and church attendance is diminishing as children are the future of the church.
 
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No we are not in a custody battle for our child. This is not a marital issue but a father-son issue.
 
Sorry, this is not a marital issue but a father-son issue.
Although most people might find it easy to blame it on our marriage than to point the problem to weak men who care more for their adult feelings than a child’s right to chose if he can sit next to the parent or close to the real presence of Christ. I too miss our son sitting next to us, but I’m not going to leverage the 4th commandment (like the priest and his father) for my personal feelings. You can force honor out of your son but not his love.
 
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I have spoken to my husband several times about this. He says he is asserting his fatherly right that his son sit next to him at Mass.

This is not a marital issue but a father-son issue. I’m not supportive of leveraging the 4th commandment over our child’s desire to sit closer to Jesus than us. I miss him too, but I’m not going to force him. Father and son need to sort this out. Too bad the priest got used by the father in this case.
 
Sorry this is not a marital issue. I too miss my son sitting next to us, but I’m not supportive of using 4th commandment to force our feelings on our children. Because I was not supportive of my husband in this matter sadly he used the priest to extract short term gain of honor from his son when he could have very easily earned long term love from him.
 
I agree, I think my husband is insecure. I just didn’t know the extent too which he was until I found out that he complained to the priest and the pastoral associate.
 
Effeminate means soft in feelings look up the old translation from Latin for St. Paul’s readings on this.
 
Jacque said:
Effeminate means soft in feelings look up the old translation from Latin for St. Paul’s readings on this.
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Are you labelling the Priest as effeminate? And your husband?
in the Biblical form
 
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This is Biblical

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Douay-Rheims (“Catholic” Bible translation of the Pre-Vatican II period)

"Know you not that the unjust shall not possess the kingdom of God? Do not err: Neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers: 10 Nor the effeminate nor liers with mankind nor thieves nor covetous nor drunkards nor railers nor extortioners shall possess the kingdom of God."

Some typical key variants from translations of the following four Greek words:
Adikoi [αδικοι] Wrongdoers, Unjust, People of Immoral lives, Unrighteous, Wicked Pornoi [πορνοι] Fornicators, whoremongers, immoral, adulterers, sexually immoral,
abuse sex, lechers
Malakoi [μαλακοι]and Arsenokoitai [αρσενοκοιται]
1

Effeminate, sexually immoral, homosexuals, homosexual offenders, homosexual perversions, those who practice homosexuality, men who lie with males, corrupt, Sexual Perverts, Boy Prostitutes, Sodomites, Catamites, Male Prostitutes, Homosexual prostitutes, Lechers against kind, Use and abuse each other, Use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it.,

Are you labelling Biblically , a Priest as being sinfully effeminate and not going to possess The Kingdom of God.
 
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