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jrabs
Guest
I completely share your sentiment. I have always had a problem with that as well.
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Sr_Sally
Guest
Steph,
I went back and looked through some of your previous threads. It sounds like you’ve a roller-coaster of a life for the past few years. That means that your daughter has too. And during this same time a much older man (almost 10 years) has been ‘courting’ her through email. There are so many danger signs here. Please, please don’t rush into anything or let your daughter do so either. In fact, I would say it might be a good idea to cut of direct communication between them. Obviously your husband will still be talking to him on business issues, but personal discussions should be put on hold awhile. Not to ‘forbid’ him to your daughter, but to allow her a chance to be herself without his influence.
I also strongly encourage you to bring this issue to your Pastor and ask his advice. Whatever the CCC says about Catholic/Muslim discussions, I doubt your Pastor will agree to hold a Catholic wedding for your daughter without many, many issues being resolved first.
V
Verisimilitude
Guest
This link to Ask an Aplogist might be helpfull. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=183937
Both faiths have severe restrictions about children which you should be aware of if that is of concern to you or your daughter.
I have a good friend who is Syrian. Though he is a non-practicing Sunni Moslem, it’s influence on him is notable. He is of good moral character, very intelligent, and I would trust him without question in business and personal issues which has less to do with Islam, and more to do with common sense. Despite that, he and I have had some in depth religious and political discussions and I know that if he ever embraced his faith like I embrace mine I doubt we would remain friends as we are.
Other Moslems I know who are devout (one from Sudan, and another from a different African nation- I forget which at the moment) are not as open to discussion or deep inquiry of their faith. They take offense easily even when no offense was intended. To them I am cordial and polite as they are to me, but there is little interest or desire to make it more than that- on both sides.
Obviously I am not a fan of Islam or its adherants. I doubt I could bless such a union though I would not purposely undermine it.
D
DJgang
Guest
I’m starting to think that your daughter and him have been talking about marriage since before his two week stay. Or if not, they’ve been talking about it since he left…
So, he’s basically asking you if he can marry your daughter? Asking for her hand in marriage?
Where’s Daddy? What’s Daddy saying?
My Dad would be freaking out…
So, he’s basically asking you if he can marry your daughter? Asking for her hand in marriage?
Where’s Daddy? What’s Daddy saying?
My Dad would be freaking out…
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tundramom
Guest
He didn’t pursue her at all… he’s been a friend of the family for 4 years. Not just talking with my daughter, but with all of us. His interest in her only came about recently. This isn’t the whole picture obviously…
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jrabs
Guest
OK - but he is several years older…and that is a substantial difference at that age. Not to mention all the other differences they have. Doesn’t that concern you?
How about dad. Is he onboard?
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tundramom
Guest
Of course all of this concerns me. That’s why I’m posting this in the first place. Her biological father doesn’t care at all… He’s a nominal Mormon. My husband, who is Catholic, cares deeply about this, as do I. We’ve raised her as a Christian and she became Catholic last year after attending RCIA. (which I am very grateful for!!)
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Mannyfit75
Guest
Shouldn’t you ask your local priest for more sound advise?
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tundramom
Guest
I have a meeting set up with both of us and my daughter for Friday night. My Priest has met Ismaail and he has gone to church with us also. Father really liked him as well.
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DJgang
Guest
Are you scared to voice your concerns to your Muslim friend?
Do you have a Priest that you could talk with about this situation, all of you?
And really, you have yet to say if your daughter wants to marry this man…
M
Mannyfit75
Guest
That’s good. I would heed to the advise of the priest. It would be nice to have your Muslim friend convert to Catholicism.
K
Kaninchen
Guest
I think it might be a good idea to find out more about the experiences (positive and negative) of others who have attempted (succeeded and failed) in bridging such a huge cultural and religious divide.
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He_Man
Guest
Keep in mind, liking him and endorsing him as a potential spouse for a Catholic woman are two different things. I had some nice floormates in college who were Muslim, but I’d never advise one of my Catholic females friends to consider marriage with them.
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tundramom
Guest
I agree. I would love him to convert to Catholicism.
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tundramom
Guest
Yes. She does want to marry him. Therein lies my problem!
Steph
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Booklover
Guest
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jrabs
Guest
Forgive if this has been discussed thus far. Has she graduated from high school? If so is she enrolled in college? What are her goals?
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tundramom
Guest
She graduated last Spring. She is going to college part time and is living at home. Her goal is to become a Vet.
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jrabs
Guest
I have a suggestion. You said he was interested in moving here. Let it be so then. How about marriage potential after her college graduation. Sounds like a degree is something that has value to her.
This way, she can experience college, meet some college age folks ( and possibly fall for one
).I feel for your situation. God bless and grant you peace as this unfolds.
Though as a parent myself, this man is too old for her and trouble.
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DJgang
Guest
Oh, dear, dear, dear…
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