Can a cohabitating spouse go for confirmation before church wedding?

[Phemie]

The scenario you mention here is more prevalent these days than most understand. Every time I do baptismal seminars it seems there is a couple or more that are cohabitating or in a civil marriage, but they are only seeking baptism for their child because grandma wants them to; they are not practicing or going to the local feel good ND worship center. We have seen an enormous jump in our RCIA program as I direct result of an effort which I have led in my parish to approach these couples at the baptismal seminars about these very issues. I do this in exactly the same way Jesus met the woman at the well. He met here where she was, in sin, then with love and compassion lifted her out of sin with truth.

I’m responsible for baptismal seminars and I find the same thing. I’ve even had one couple and the godparents joke about living in sin when we are doing a walk through the night before the Baptism and got to the Renunciation of Sins and the Profession of Faith. I honestly didn’t know what to do at that point. I was uncomfortable about going through with the Baptism but that’s not my call in any way, shape or form.

We ask point blank during the preparation 'Why are you asking for Baptism for your child?" In at least 85% of cases in our parish the parents aren’t married and most aren’t practicing. Some say they want to pass on the Faith to their child and I’m tempted to ask, “What Faith??” because we’ve never seen them until grandma pressured them to ask for Baptism. Many say, “Because Mom expects me to have him/her baptized.”

I really wish Father would meet with them before they came to us for the preparation. It might solve some of the problems but then again, it probably wouldn’t. Nobody has been refused Baptism in the 16 years I’ve been involved in this parish, although a few have decided against Baptism when informed of the requirement for Catholic godparents (??) or when informed that being baptized in the Catholic Church made you a Catholic and not simply a Christian . Just how badly catechized are our people???

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

The scenario you mention here is more prevalent these days than most understand. Every time I do baptismal seminars it seems there is a couple or more that are cohabitating or in a civil marriage, but they are only seeking baptism for their child because grandma wants them to; they are not practicing or going to the local feel good ND worship center.

We offer an adult confirmation program. Over the years we added questions about marriage to the registration form. Is this your/your spouse’s first marriage? Were you married in the Church?

We came to see that quite a number of the adults wanting to be confirmed had been married multiple times and/or outside the Church and this was our last chance to find them and help them.

It’s really sad to see how much Catholics don’t know about being Catholic.

 

[maryjk]

I really wish Father would meet with them before they came to us for the preparation. It might solve some of the problems but then again, it probably wouldn’t. Nobody has been refused Baptism in the 16 years I’ve been involved in this parish, although a few have decided against Baptism when informed of the requirement for Catholic godparents (??) or when informed that being baptized in the Catholic Church made you a Catholic and not simply a Christian . Just how badly catechized are our people???

It would have helped me.

I *was *living in sin and then I fixed it, or so I thought. I was living with my now husband. But we got married. We just didn’t get married in the Church. I had no idea that it was required. I thought of it more of a good thing or nice, not mandatory.

When I when for class to have our child Baptized, no one asked about my sacrament history. Heck, no one asked about how long we had been married, although we had been married for a number of years.

I filled out a form. My name, "Mrs Mary Married Name. And my husband’s name, Mr Mary Married Name. And the names of the people we had chosen to be Godparents. Both practicing Catholics, one that provided a letter showing church membership and sacraments received.

The person teaching the class talked about my son being a member of the Catholic Church.

But again, nothing was said about me.