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followingtheway
Guest
What are your thoughts?
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edwest2
Guest
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beth40n2
Guest
There was a program on “Focus on the Family” by James Dobsin which is a protestant program on regular Christian radio a couple years ago. They were interviewing several people who were homosexual and then had a conversion and drew closer to Jesus. They were convicted that their same sex behavior was sin. With lots of prayer, they did change their life and start desiring a relationship with the opposite sex.
It sounded like they had to first admit they were not created that way. They came to the realization it was a decision. And we can decide to follow Christ and all things are possible.
It sounded like they had to first admit they were not created that way. They came to the realization it was a decision. And we can decide to follow Christ and all things are possible.
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Corki
Guest
This is completely andecdotal but since you ask “can”, I use this as my answer.
I knew two guys in high school. They were both drawn into the homosexual lifestyle while still young teens. They went on to live as open homosexuals in college and beyond (one even became a “gay” rights lawyer) but both are now married and have kids. I have no idea if they still experience SSA. It is possible that they overcame SSA or that they were ambivalent all along.
I should note that in both cases they were hit on by much older men and, for lack of a better term, “recruited” into the homosexual identity. This happened before they were even in high school.
I knew two guys in high school. They were both drawn into the homosexual lifestyle while still young teens. They went on to live as open homosexuals in college and beyond (one even became a “gay” rights lawyer) but both are now married and have kids. I have no idea if they still experience SSA. It is possible that they overcame SSA or that they were ambivalent all along.
I should note that in both cases they were hit on by much older men and, for lack of a better term, “recruited” into the homosexual identity. This happened before they were even in high school.
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Soldier_Of_God
Guest
Yes. I knew someone that was homosexual and moved to California due to a career opportunity. Years later, he returned home and was happily married to a woman. I was shocked and so was his family.
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LemonAndLime
Guest
I think those who “change” from homosexual to heterosexual are simply bisexual or going through a phase.
This was my case. For a while, I was convinced that I was a lesbian or bisexual. I even had a girlfriend. But then, to be honest, I “grew” out of it and became much more attracted to men. I still do feel attracted to women sometimes, but it just didn’t feel right for me, being in that sort of relationship, it felt kind of wrong.
Maybe I was “cured”, not sure by what though. Or, not. Fact is, there are people who are homosexual and cannot change. Suggesting that it can be “cured” or “changed” is going down a dangerous route, studies show that attempting to do so can leave them with mental health problems. For me, I just learnt that I didn’t like being in a same-sex relationship, even though I still find some women attractive.
So I think the stories you do hear about people with SSA being changed are more to do with them being in a phase or being bisexual.
This was my case. For a while, I was convinced that I was a lesbian or bisexual. I even had a girlfriend. But then, to be honest, I “grew” out of it and became much more attracted to men. I still do feel attracted to women sometimes, but it just didn’t feel right for me, being in that sort of relationship, it felt kind of wrong.
Maybe I was “cured”, not sure by what though. Or, not. Fact is, there are people who are homosexual and cannot change. Suggesting that it can be “cured” or “changed” is going down a dangerous route, studies show that attempting to do so can leave them with mental health problems. For me, I just learnt that I didn’t like being in a same-sex relationship, even though I still find some women attractive.
So I think the stories you do hear about people with SSA being changed are more to do with them being in a phase or being bisexual.
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Soldier_Of_God
Guest
Possibly, but not all such cases can or should be be dismissed up to being phases or people that are bisexual. Human sexuality can be quite diverse.
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michelleds
Guest
Now I thought we’d already been down this road before. Making this claim is a slap in the face to every single one of us who have changed. and i wish you would stop saying it. tell your personal anecdote but please stop being offensive to ppl like myself and others who, thru the grace of God, have changed.
Yes, people can change. for those who are “true blue, dyed in the wool” this change is brought about by the Grace of God and not psychology, counselling, therapy, etc. Think Saul on the road to Damascus and not Dr. Phil.
mathematoons
New member
I’m sure some manage to change, but what do we do with those who try and try but can’t change? What’s wrong with celibacy?
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chrysostim83
Guest
I voted “no” since, even though an unknown number of women experience spontaneous change in sexual orientation, there is no evidence that common sense methods or psychotherapy can help people change their sexual orientation.
To explore this issue further, I would suggest the following resources.
Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation – This is the most comprehensive review of sexual orientation change efforts (SOCEs) to date. The authors found the evidence for change underwhelming, but observed also that gay affirmative therapy is not appropriate for all clients. They recommend helping clients gain more self-determination by working with them to develop a sexual orientation identity that is consonant with their values.
Ex-gay Research: Analyzing the Spitzer Study And Its Relation to Science, Religion, Politics And Culture – A collection of papers about the infamous Spitzer (2003) study. Represents fairly and accurately the two sides of the controversy between the APA and NARTH.
Ex-gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation – The best study on SOCEs so far, despite some major methodological flaws. The most telling result is that success was not defined as change from homosexuality to heterosexuality, but as change from homosexuality-or-bisexuality to a “meaningful if complicated heterosexuality.”
To explore this issue further, I would suggest the following resources.
Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation – This is the most comprehensive review of sexual orientation change efforts (SOCEs) to date. The authors found the evidence for change underwhelming, but observed also that gay affirmative therapy is not appropriate for all clients. They recommend helping clients gain more self-determination by working with them to develop a sexual orientation identity that is consonant with their values.
Ex-gay Research: Analyzing the Spitzer Study And Its Relation to Science, Religion, Politics And Culture – A collection of papers about the infamous Spitzer (2003) study. Represents fairly and accurately the two sides of the controversy between the APA and NARTH.
Ex-gays? A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation – The best study on SOCEs so far, despite some major methodological flaws. The most telling result is that success was not defined as change from homosexuality to heterosexuality, but as change from homosexuality-or-bisexuality to a “meaningful if complicated heterosexuality.”
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LemonAndLime
Guest
Whatever you need to get through the day.
I don’t think what I said actually can conflict with God having a role. Certainly, I “changed” before I believed in God, so I don’t think its offensive to suggest it can happen without pleaing to God to change you.
Don’t be so sensitive.
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Orogeny
Guest
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ChristisRisen32
Guest
Most psychologists agree that it is unhealthy to try to “change” the person’s same sex attractions. For many it’s a cross, and I don’t think it’s chosen. We should focus on helping that person live a life of celibacy.
Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Tony
Yours in the Hearts of Jesus and Mary,
Tony
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speakttruth
Guest
Hi,
First of all we are all heterosexuals and some heterosexuals have a homosexual problem.
Since we are all meant to be heterosexuals, because we have the proof stamp on our bodies and DNA regardless of what you think you feel at the time, indicates female or male. Can’t change that even surgery. Homosexuality is a disordered sexual problem. Meaning it’s out of the order of the Natural Law. The person isn’t called disordered it’s their sexuality that is disordered. Now that we got that out of the way. I have personal experience with a loved one with this problem. I have talked to many people, mothers, brothers, sisters, daughters,fathers, who have loved ones with this problem. People that have this problem should be refereed to as having SSA, same sex attraction or act out on it, PPH people practicing or promoting homosexuality. The site for chaste Catholics for more info is www.couragerc.net Courage is a support group for SSA, and Encourage is a group with family members that have SSA The only ministry approved by the Pontificate.
All people who have SSA and I mean all, have emotional wounds from childhood either perceived or real. Isn’t that why we have most of all our problems, stemming from childhood? People with SSA in particular are a more sensitivity type of person, which would be a predisposition of the personality they were born with. Not all sensitive people have SSA, but all SSA are a sensitive person, more than usual. Most males have father wounds,didn’t bond with males or their father, over involved mothers, rejection of peers and women, poor body image, in their childhood they were most likely not athletic, poor hand and eye coordination, had a trauma in childhood, some sexual abused. All these together set the stage for SSA. I haven’t heard one family that has a child that came from a perfect family without any problems of these kinds of things that has a SSA person in their family. Some say they knew when they were five. A five year old doesn’t know what sex is. Men have sexual feelings around puberty and many little boys may have confused a person that they were looking after as a person that would love and accept them, but not in a sexual way, because they weren’t getting attention from their own fathers. SSA doesn’t become sexualized till later around puberty or even college for late bloomers. Anyway, the point I am trying to make if a person that doesn’t want these attractions want help their is help, but some have been healed by a conversion to faith of Jesus Christ. What most men with SSA needed anyway, was healthy male, heterosexual, non- sexual relationships for their healing process. In any problems in a SSA life, some people will heal at different rates, some may get their attraction back faster than others. But living longer in that lifestyle makes it harder not to remember those sexual actions, that may keep the attractions harder to get rid of. It takes time to heal from alcoholic addictions, it will take time from sexual addictions. If a person really and truly put their lives in God hands and goes back in time to what wounds that brought them to this place in the beginning, they can overcome and be healthy again . Some men who may just want to live a chaste life, because they may not want any sexual relationships with anyone. Women have a different reason for SSA, many have been raped or molested and don’t feel safe in a relationship with a man, and some didn’t have a strong father and a distant mother. It’s not about the sex with women, it’s about feeling secure, men are more about the sex. Fathers for both are the biggest factor. That is why this world is going down. We are bringing up emasculated men, by feminist putting men down. We need strong men. Wake up guys. I am not a doctor, but these are my experiences and there may be exceptions to the rules, but I haven’t seen one yet. The American Physiological Associations are not giving good advice because they have on their boards full of PPH people that want to keep them in that life. Totally bias. God heals, we have to trust that he will bring us back to the creation he created. It was not for the same sex. That is why the Catholic church is the best place to be.
God Bless
Hope this helps
First of all we are all heterosexuals and some heterosexuals have a homosexual problem.
Since we are all meant to be heterosexuals, because we have the proof stamp on our bodies and DNA regardless of what you think you feel at the time, indicates female or male. Can’t change that even surgery. Homosexuality is a disordered sexual problem. Meaning it’s out of the order of the Natural Law. The person isn’t called disordered it’s their sexuality that is disordered. Now that we got that out of the way. I have personal experience with a loved one with this problem. I have talked to many people, mothers, brothers, sisters, daughters,fathers, who have loved ones with this problem. People that have this problem should be refereed to as having SSA, same sex attraction or act out on it, PPH people practicing or promoting homosexuality. The site for chaste Catholics for more info is www.couragerc.net Courage is a support group for SSA, and Encourage is a group with family members that have SSA The only ministry approved by the Pontificate.
All people who have SSA and I mean all, have emotional wounds from childhood either perceived or real. Isn’t that why we have most of all our problems, stemming from childhood? People with SSA in particular are a more sensitivity type of person, which would be a predisposition of the personality they were born with. Not all sensitive people have SSA, but all SSA are a sensitive person, more than usual. Most males have father wounds,didn’t bond with males or their father, over involved mothers, rejection of peers and women, poor body image, in their childhood they were most likely not athletic, poor hand and eye coordination, had a trauma in childhood, some sexual abused. All these together set the stage for SSA. I haven’t heard one family that has a child that came from a perfect family without any problems of these kinds of things that has a SSA person in their family. Some say they knew when they were five. A five year old doesn’t know what sex is. Men have sexual feelings around puberty and many little boys may have confused a person that they were looking after as a person that would love and accept them, but not in a sexual way, because they weren’t getting attention from their own fathers. SSA doesn’t become sexualized till later around puberty or even college for late bloomers. Anyway, the point I am trying to make if a person that doesn’t want these attractions want help their is help, but some have been healed by a conversion to faith of Jesus Christ. What most men with SSA needed anyway, was healthy male, heterosexual, non- sexual relationships for their healing process. In any problems in a SSA life, some people will heal at different rates, some may get their attraction back faster than others. But living longer in that lifestyle makes it harder not to remember those sexual actions, that may keep the attractions harder to get rid of. It takes time to heal from alcoholic addictions, it will take time from sexual addictions. If a person really and truly put their lives in God hands and goes back in time to what wounds that brought them to this place in the beginning, they can overcome and be healthy again . Some men who may just want to live a chaste life, because they may not want any sexual relationships with anyone. Women have a different reason for SSA, many have been raped or molested and don’t feel safe in a relationship with a man, and some didn’t have a strong father and a distant mother. It’s not about the sex with women, it’s about feeling secure, men are more about the sex. Fathers for both are the biggest factor. That is why this world is going down. We are bringing up emasculated men, by feminist putting men down. We need strong men. Wake up guys. I am not a doctor, but these are my experiences and there may be exceptions to the rules, but I haven’t seen one yet. The American Physiological Associations are not giving good advice because they have on their boards full of PPH people that want to keep them in that life. Totally bias. God heals, we have to trust that he will bring us back to the creation he created. It was not for the same sex. That is why the Catholic church is the best place to be.
God Bless
Hope this helps
J
James1215
Guest
Another equally valuable question would be:
Can a bisexual person emphasise opposite sex attraction and minimise same sex attraction?
Can a bisexual person emphasise opposite sex attraction and minimise same sex attraction?
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mcrow
Guest
I would think that it would be easier for bisexuals because you are attracted to both,so you are not totally changing your attraction.
I’ve known bisexuals who ended up marrying an opposite sex person and been very happy that way but still had SSA. I find it hard to believe the same could be true of a homosexual who has not changed.
mathematoons
New member
I don’t see why not; we all have free will.
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estesbob
Guest
But don’t forget- he believed in you.
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LemonAndLime
Guest
I haven’t forgotten, especially that my change in attraction to women occured shortly before I started seeking RCIA. I am not ruling out God’s involvement in my case at all, even though I feel it was a phase. One thing has certainly changed though - I feel guilty about it. I recevied baptism so I know I am forgiven, and I have changed location since, but every now and then I’m reminded of it. Threads like this don’t help.
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JHow
Guest
It’s in the past, confessed and forgiven. No need for guilt feelings. If the threads bother you, they can be safely ignored. Nothing important happens here.…One thing has certainly changed though - I feel guilty about it. I recevied baptism so I know I am forgiven, and I have changed location since, but every now and then I’m reminded of it. Threads like this don’t help.
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