Can I raise a child without a father?

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Ooh, yes, @Allegra is correct. Try to save as much as possible in writing (paper, text, e-mail, printed-out, whatever). If it’s voice-mail or answering machine, keep the recordings. Important conversations should be witnessed, but try not to commit anything game-changing to conversation. He has said plenty already. Anything future is going to be He-said/she-said. And that’s awfully hard to win.

BTW I wonder if his parents are pro-life. I hope so.
 
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I would say this one thing. Regarding keeping the baby, It is possible that everyone can be against you, as far as family and friends go. It’s not rare. So stand up for what you want. Don’t let people pressure you.
 
There’s contact and there’s custody. Any parent that has any amount of actual physical custody time, is going to pay less in support, because during those days, they are housing, clothing, and feeding the child themselves. Many a parent has attempted to dodge child-support by suggesting the idea of 50/50 custody. Then they show up to pick up their kid and wonder why the other parent hasn’t provided them with three and half days worth of diapers, formula, and clothing.
 
stpurl said:
Well, having had to face these problems myself I thought it might be something helpful. I surely would have appreciated knowing possibilities and being able to prepare for them, as would other friends who were blindsided by these things.
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Not appropriate for discussion at the beginning of her pregnancy when she needs to be as stress free as possible for the health of her baby and herself.
 
pitwoozi said:
But still, he keeps on pushing me to get abortion. He said that it would only make our lives difficult not only because we’re not dating anymore but also because his father is a Pastor and he that he would only bring shame to his family.
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Uhm, the denominations that don’t believe in premarital sex also oppose abortion.

I don’t think his pastor dad would want you to get an abortion.
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
In this country at least child support is unrelated to contact. She needs to see a solicitor regarding these issues.
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My husband does family law. The scenarios I described come up all the time with his clients. It’s good advice in my state in the US— but if the OP is off in Zimbabwe or Madagascar, of course, I can’t vouch for how pertinent it is. 😛
 
Which would be fine if it weren’t that she might have to face this ‘in the early days’. Believe me I understand, but there is a downside to ‘trying to be stress free’, and that downside is that the world is not stress free. For most women things will work out without a problem, but going into a situation and trying only to focus on being ‘stress free’ when the situation is already stressful is going to wind up putting things off balance IMO.
 
The OP asked if she can raise her child without his or her father. She didn’t ask if she can do it “stress free”. Of course, it’s not going to be “stress free”. Even raising a child with a responsible co-parent isn’t “stress free”. Pregnancy definitely isn’t “stress free”. I agree with not borrowing trouble, however, one of the best ways to mitigate stress is to deal with potentially stressful challenges in a proactive manner. Obtaining legal assistance is something the OP can do now to significantly relieve her stress in the future.
 
The most prudent course of action to take is to get to a doctor and actually find out if you are pregnant.
You think you might be 3 weeks pregnant , however this should be confirmed by medical professionals.

All other comments are not important at this point. They will be cause for unnecessary concern.
 
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Also, not to be a downer here again, but I wonder if the OP has at least thought about giving the baby up for adoption? This may be a good choice for your situation, and would be a beautiful gift of life for the child, and a childless couple. Just something to think about! Best wishes and Good bless.
 
Are you honestly trying to tell us that when you find out you are pregnant, you don’t worry, dream, talk, or think about your new baby coming until after your OB appointment? You just, put it out of your mind and think about something else? Because I think you’d be surprised to find yourself a rarity if that’s truly the case.
 
I think Lateran had noticed the OP wrote, “I think I’m pregnant”, whereas most of us worked on the assumption that “we knew we were pregnant fer sure way before we were far enough along to go buy a test; the test results just confirmed what we already knew.”

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The OP actually said, “I think I’m three weeks pregnant but I haven’t seen the doctor yet.” I understood that to mean that she has confirmed pregnancy by way of a test, but hasn’t seen the doctor yet in order to determine the gestational age for sure. I understood that the “think” referred to the “three weeks”, not whether or not she was pregnant.
 
What are you objecting to? We are reading the op differently. I think!

Did you read the third sentence, followed by the fourth? To me, the op is unsure or has done a home test.
The first course of action is to find out if she is indeed pregnant, or confirm the positive result, and if she is almost a month along.

The ‘I think’ especially in this case, urgently needs a conversion to I am, or I am not.
We on CAF should not be feeding into anxiety about a possible scenario. Confirm it first.
If the answer is I am, the second course of action is to tell her parents.

Home pregnancy kits are well known for false positives and false negative.

I think I am pregnant and I think I am three weeks along.
 
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You and your baby in my prayers.

God Will help you and God is always with you.
 
You have hit the nail on the head with hospital vs home testing.
Scientifically there are varied reasons for false positives and negatives with home tests.
The Mayo Clinic has listed a few.


However the creator of this thread has not stated how she has tested, in her post. She is in my prayers.
 
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Yep, you can raise a child without a “father.” With regard to the “father,” he obviously never heard the phrase “keep it zipped.” If he’s concerned about bringing shame to his family, well, maybe he should have thought more about his actions?

I was raised by a single mother after my “father” decided to divorce her before I was born. I’m 41 now, and seem to have come through relatively okay.
 
JamalChristophr said:
If it’s not been mentioned already, a very large number of Catholic Churches offer various kinds of material help to mom’s who need various necessary things.
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Also, your local Knights of Columbus can connect you to groups, homes, and such that will help.

As for legal representation, the local District of attorney will handle support, even if he moves out of state, through URESA enforcement.
Allegra said:
Any parent that has any amount of actual physical custody time, is going to pay less in support,
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Around here, it has to go past 30% (40%?) before that is the case, and I think ours is fairly typical.

And even 50-50 doesn’t eliminate it; full support is calculated for each parent, and the difference is paid.
 
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