Can I raise a child without a father?

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Paternal instincts develop later than maternal instincts. I say this from my mom who is a devout feminist but trying to stay fair. The father of the child may not care now but when he sees the baby things may drastically change.
It is entirely up to you at this point but do not surprised (or jealous) if he may one day love the baby more than he loved you.
 
Hi there,
I found myself unexpectedly pregnant 2 years ago and I’d like to share my experience with you. Although my baby’s father was not dating someone else, we hardly knew each other and were not planning on being together long term.
At first he pushed for abortion. And I mean yelled, begged, issued ultimatums, etc. That’s what most people in our society would do. When he realised that I was not going to do that, he pushed for adoption. I seriously considered adoption, because I didn’t want my baby to grow up without two parents, and like someone above said, open adoptions are common these days where the birth mother has the ability to visit and spend time with the family and her biological child.
It took seeing the 20 week ultrasound for my baby’s father to finally entertain the notion of being a father, and even then, he wasn’t fully there until our baby was born. Someone told me that “a mother becomes a mother when she finds out she’s pregnant, but a father doesn’t become a father until he can hold his baby in his arms”. This was very true in our case.
We ended up staying together and are planning on getting married this year. He is a damn good dad. He’s grown up and changed so much since our son came into the world, and I am incredibly proud of him. If we don’t end up getting married, we will co-parent for sure.
My point is that people change… and very drastically when they have children. My fiancé apologizes to me at regularly for trying to pressure me into getting an abortion, and thanks me for standing up to him. He really didn’t know much about abortion back then, and thought it was a normal thing to do.
I know that there is much uncertainty right now, and you can only act on what you know. But as hard as it is, I would urge you to not cut your baby’s father out completely, and try to be patient with him, while letting him know of course that you are going to stand firm in what you believe. He will learn to respect you for that. He will obviously no longer be pushing for abortion once your baby is born and he will likely fall deeply in love with your baby. Your baby does deserve to have a loving father, and he might shape up so that the two of you can co-parent. You will both grow and change considerably over the next few years. I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to PM me.
 
Go to Confession, if you haven’t already, and ask for the priest’s help. Understand though, that your sin was fornication, not choosing to raise the child as a single mother. Making the best of a bad situation is not a sin.

As for your ex-boyfriend, tell him it would be far more shameful for his family if it came out that their son pushed for an abortion to cover up his fornication. His hypocrisy will not remain hidden forever, and only exacerbates the shame to his family.
 
Good for you in making your own decision. That is part of the beauty of being a woman. It is your choice. He doesn’t get a say in the matter (as well he shouldn’t).

You are 23. You need to stop worrying about explaining anything about this to your parents. They know how babies are conceived.

You are a grown woman and, assuming you keep this baby, you will be a grown woman with a baby soon. Time to start standing on your own two feet in all regards: financially, emotionally, etc.

Don’t worry about what other people think. They will either shun you, or they won’t. It is their choice and you don’t have any control over that.

Best of luck to you.
 
Yes! By all means, protect yourself, legally. And, especially if the father (or his family)decide they want visitation, you may change your mind about footing the bill alone! After all, he did father the baby!

Whatever you decide, God Bless! And to those who say ‘a baby needs a mother and a father’…while it’s usually best, how many widows, under any circumstance,
get pressured into abortion, or giving their children up for adoption?

You are doing a good thing, in wanting to raise the baby yourself…while it may not always be feasible, a woman who does this is taking responsibility for her mistake…not ‘flaunting a sin’ or something like that!
 
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I’ll be praying for you and your baby.

It isn’t exactly ideal that a child be raised without a father, but if the father wants an abortion, then your turning away from him is exactly ideal, good, and commendable.
Lean on your parents. They’ll be able to help you, and will want to.

Godspeed. I wish you both the best.
 
OK so I don’t really know much about this so I don’t know whether i can advise you but I think that you should make sure the child grows up with a healthy male role model/father figure of some kind, even if it isn’t your spouse or boyfriend. I’ve read that it’s really beneficial for children to have an experience of good adult male behaviour, especially for boys.
 
I would go to your Pastor. Your parish. Find a Pro-Life outreach place. People who will help you. People who have a heart. And consider both you and child.
 
First off, good for you for not listening to your ex. He is the fool, not you.

At this point you need to calm down (hard I know, but you need to) and just give the future a thought. Our Lord has entrusted you with the life of a baby, always remember that. From His hands that child has come to you, but all that means is that you have to do everything you can to look after yourself, and do the best for the child.

Now, take a few days to think about things yourself. Maybe ask your priest, your friends and your family for advice. If your parents are less than enthusiastic about the whole thing, just know that they are only scared for your future and that might cloud their judgement. Whether you decide to raise the child, or give it up for adoption, know that your parents will see sense eventually, sooner or later, just don’t allow anyone to push you into making the worst decision of your life. I’m so happy you see that you know abortion is not an option, or a solution. Whatever happens next, your life will be changed forever. The thing is that you have chosen the happy route, the one where a whole new person gets to come into the world! So many women are forced to make the “choice” and as one said to me once " I always look at my kids at the dinner table and no matter what I know one more should be there too", gladly you will be spared that because you are a smart, brave woman!

To answer your question, YES, absolutely single mother families work. I know so many single mothers and their kids are fine. Some of the fathers are in the picture, some aren’t. Whatever the case, a loving mother is all a child needs. Nor does it mean that you will be condemned to a life of poverty. The vast majority of single Moms I know are very successful, so remember that.

If you decide you don’t want the father in the child’s life, I wouldn’t worry too much about going into detail with your parents about why. Just tell them that he isn’t being supportive and that since you are broken up his role would be extremely limited anyway.

I’d talk it over with trusted people, go and see a lawyer and pray for help and guidance. I’m praying for you.
 
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