Can I take my pets if I become a nun?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Rosie11
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Read her posts again, Londoner. In her culture (she has said in past threads that they’re gypsies), she is not allowed to leave her family until she marries and will not be considered an adult capable of making her own decisions until then.

Yes, by our laws, she is of legal age. But we aren’t talking about what is normal for us. We are talking about the rules in the gypsy culture. Their rules for their tribes are different. She needs to respect their rules, their way of life.

She doesn’t want to hold down a job and make her own way. The thought terrifies her.

She has no visible means of support. Her father gives her money for the things she wants.

She can’t ride public transportation on her own.

By her own admission, she doesn’t live (what we consider) a normal life. Normal for Rosie is the life she has lived.

She can’t do anything on her own because they don’t encourage their people to get out and be self sufficient. The say the family will always take care of them. They aren’t brought up to think beyond what will happen if the family isn’t there anymore and they have to make their own way.

I will never encourage someone to disobey their parents. The Bible is very clear that we are to obey our parents.

If Rosie truly feels called to become a nun, then she should seek her parent’s, her family’s, permission. To defy her family is to show them disrespect and possibly, to bring shame upon her tribe.

I’m sorry, but her posts scream that she wants to become a nun for all the wrong reasons. She is honestly not prepared for it even though she thinks she is. It’s an escape for her, more impulse than anything else. She wants to be taken care of the way her family has taken care of her all her life. She wants everything the way she wants it (her pets, the money her father will give her for their care any time she asks, etc).

The one thing I’m not seeing in any of Rosie’s posts is God. It’s all about her wanting to be a nun. Wanting to be a nun is fine. But where is her service to God in all of this? It’s all about Rosie instead of being about God.
 
Last edited:
lilypadrees said:
I will never encourage someone to disobey their parents. The Bible is very clear that we are to obey our parents.
Click to expand...
What if a grown woman’s parents want her to be a militant atheist? Should she obey her parents for the rest of her life, even if she comes to realize that Christianity is the truth?

We are not to absolutely obey our parents in all things.
 
It sounds like you have thought about this much. that’s always a good start. I’d suggest you read a few things next. Firstly do your parents know your thoughts yet or are you still gathering info? does your parish have a CTS stand…most of them do they don’t look very exciting but there is usually one stuck to the wall somewhere perhaps the foyer… or online… try looking at one of these (or both) for some really good sites and information one where to look online and who to write to and a lot about the different orders and groups in the UK. http://www.ctsbooks.org/discerning-and-preparing-for-religious-life-3
How to Discover your Vocation | Catholic Truth Society
Both can be purchased online if you can’t get them in your parish and are inexpensive.
Are you active in your parish at all? If not then consider getting involved as this will help you discern what God’s will is for you. If you are not working, perhaps your parents will agree to you doing things in the church? see if they mind, perhaps you could be a welcomer handing out hymn books or helping serve the coffee’s and teas after Sunday mass. Join a rosary group etc. Also many of our parishes (unless you live in a really rural area ) offer daily mass, consider attending daily mass, or ask your parents if you can go during the week (if not watch live streaming of mass - many many of our churches do this for the sick - even my church does), in time try to add, Adoration to a mass… let this be part of the things you add slowly into live. It can be a great blessing not to work and you can make God your work. You may have to do this very slowly if your parents are resistant. Service and prayer are a large part of many religious orders and it will be helpful for you to learn to be part of this in your parish community also it is possible you may need the help and advice of your parish priest when you wish to move on further with this so it will be nicer and easier for you if he knows you somewhat. It may be that you do all this already. Also I’d say, read the gospels and read about saints lives and spiritual books so you can see which one’s inspire you and let God call you one way or another. Keep praying and listening to God. I will pray for you. God bless you.
 
@Rosie11, here is a link to the diocese:

rcdow.org.uk

From Tyburn to Grancey-le-Château

by Tom Henry 3rd December 2016 will be a significant date in the history of the Tyburn nuns. It was on this day that the initiation ceremony for the cause for Mother Marie Adele Garnier, the foundress of the order, took place at the monastery i...
rcdow.org.uk rcdow.org.uk

My new congregation does, believe it or not, have a Roma Ministry. I offer St Mother Teresa and Blessed Ceferino as your patrons. Ask them for assistance.

I understand, to a certain extent, your way of life.
 
Your wrong when you say “people” men can do what they want go off start businesses they know how to be in the world we are taught to rely on them they make the money we stay home cook clean look after children, you don’t know me or how I feel it’s because of God that I want to become a nun it has nothing to do with anyone else, I prayed for God and Mary to show me the way, I’m seeing the word nun everywhere, the thought of becoming a nun fills my heart with excitement and I truly believe this is what Jesus wants from me
 
Yes I have told them but they thinks it’s stupid and that id be throwing my life down the drain, I’m not so much involved in the church I just go to mass on Sundays I don’t drive so I generally have to go when my family is going i am on a bible study on WhatsApp it’s on every night at 8pm the lady who runs it is married to a church deacon so she knows her stuff, another reason I think God wants me to be a nun is because the last day while I was at medj I wanted to speak to a priest about becoming a nun but we went to visit an orphanage to donate stuff and when got back too late I thought I’d missed my chance but then we decided to change our flights to a later time because it was too early and what do u know I ended up on the same flight as a Catholic priest he told me to go to a convent and see if it’s for me but I forgot to mention my pets
 
Rosie’s family says that she is not considered to be an adult and that she is not considered capable of making her own decisions or allowed to leave home until she marries. That is not what the law says. They are not ‘our laws’, they are the laws of England. Everybody who lives here enjoys the same rights and is liable to the same responsibilities as everybody else. Rosie’s family is treating her in a way that is contrary to English law. Not allowing her to go to school was contrary to English law.

Often, the law protects precisely those people to whose culture it is most alien. I am not only talking about Irish Travellers. I am talking about the millions of people who live in Britain whose culture may be African or Asian, whose families may be fundamentalist Muslims or ultra-Orthodox Jews, etc. I wonder whether you would be so tolerant if Rosie were telling us that as a Pakistani Muslim woman she is not allowed to leave home, have a job, or be independent.

Where do you draw the line in terms of what cultural norms you tolerate? At one extreme you have, e.g., FGM, breast ironing, honour killing, and at the other extreme you have parents who remove their children from lessons at school that involve watching a TV or reading the Meg and Mog stories. Somewhere in between, you have, e.g., forced marriages, exorcising children purported to be witches—and denying girls their right to education and controlling the lives of women by not allowing them leave home and work. We have the law to tell us where the line is drawn, and the law tries to balance the rights of minorities to live according to their cultural norms with the need to protect vulnerable people, such as children and women.

You say that you ‘will never encourage someone to disobey their parents. The Bible is very clear that we are to obey our parents.’ Up to a point. There are rules that parents make for their children that are in the children’s best interests: do your homework, don’t stay out late, don’t drink, smoke, or take drugs, don’t borrow the car without permission, do your fair share of chores around the house, and so on. And then there are rules that are actually detrimental to somebody’s welfare: don’t go to school and receive an education, don’t have a job, don’t live anywhere other than in your parents’ home, don’t use public transport alone, don’t pay your own income tax and national insurance contributions, and so on—and this is when Rosie is an adult!

In general, I think we actually agree that Rosie needs to think carefully before deciding that she wants to be a nun. I think we agree that becoming a nun seems like a safe option for somebody who has never lived as a properly independent adult, and that she perhaps sees life in a convent as being similar to life in her parents’ home.
 
What Londoner says is all very important. But another point that I don’t think has been considered sufficiently is that discernment is a 2-way street. In other words, it’s not only up to a person considering religious life, but also up to the congregation(s) to which she applies for admission. At this point, there are a number of red flags in what has been written here, including the lack of independence, the limited education, etc. Most congregations require at least a secondary education, and some require college degrees before admission. Most also require a person to have lived independently and to have work experience–especially if they don’t have a lot of formal education. Most congregations require rigorous spiritual and psychological screening of potential members.
 
Rosie, no, I don’t know you personally. But I do know about your life from what you have posted in these threads.

And yes, the women in your culture are dependent on the men for their sustainance. That is one reason I said that you want to be taken care of the way your family has taken care of you.

Women today, Rosie, don’t have to rely on men. We work. We get paid. We pay taxes. We rent or own our own homes. We drive or take public transportation. And if we wish to, we marry and have families of our own. There is no waiting on others to make decisions for us. We do that ourselves. These are all things you need to be able to experience before joining a convent.

God would not have you defy your parents wishes. If He wishes you to become a nun, He will provide a way without your having to disobey your family’s wishes.

You seem to be very defensive also when someone tells you the blunt truth. You aren’t ready for any of this mentally or emotionally. You’re very impetuous about everything and you go to extremes.

You need to realize that what you want isn’t the issue. What God wants is. And He doesn’t work on your time. He does things His way in His own time.

When and if He feels doing this is in your best interest, He will provide the means as well as soften your family’s hearts so that they are agreeable to your pursuing this as a vocation.

In the meantime, you have a lot of growing up to do, a lot of practical experience and education to gain. You need to work on those as they will benefit you in all areas of your life.
 
I’ve contacted a superior nun, I told her I don’t have an education, I’m an Irish traveller (so she knows how I was brought up) I told her about my dogs and she seems very nice and wants to meet me after she comes back from her spiritual retreat
 
If you understood her family’s culture, you wouldn’t be asking these questions.

I agree that she sees joining a convent as being similar to being in her parents home. She wants to be taken care of by the convent the way she is currently being taken care of in her family’s home.

Sadly, she’s not seeing the whole picture.
 
Good. I hope it works out for you. But you really should have your family’s blessing.
 
That’s the thing I don’t want to be taken care of I don’t see a convent as a place I’ll be taken care of I see it as a place that’s gives me the opportunity to take care of other people
 
I have deep compassion for the poor and elderly, taking care of people is the only thing I’m good at
 
Be sure to make the Morning Offering, and care for your family as you would those in the world, since they are your world. There are a lot of needs among the Travellers, and I hope that our Roma Ministry will some day evolve into another new congregation named for Blessed Ceferino, the Gypsy Saint. (St. Mother Teresa was born in a vardo, btw).
 
Rosie, if God wishes you to become a nun, He will soften your family’s hearts so that they see how important it is to you and give their consent.

Didn’t you say your father wants you to be happy?
 
lilypadrees said:
She needs to respect their rules, their way of life.
Click to expand...
No, she doesn’t. Gypsy cultural norms aren’t divinely ordained. They’re just cultural norms. If she decides to buck tradition, she can. It’s not like because she was born into this subculture, she’s obligated to stay in it her whole life.

That said, I agree she is considering this for all the wrong reasons.
 
Honey, you don’t have to join a convent in order to take care of other people. Take care of your family, your tribe, those you see in every day life.

Donate your time at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter. Volunteer at your parish, a hospital, a food bank.

There are so many ways to serve Jesus. Becoming a religious isn’t the only way. That’s why I said you need to be totally honest about your reasons for wanting to become a nun.

Let me tell you. Before I was rejected as a nun, I saw that as the only way I could help all the people I desired to. After being rejected, so many doors of opportunity opened up that I’m helping more people in more ways now than I ever imagined possible. You just have to keep your eyes focused on Him and let Him bring those who need help into your life.

And quite honestly, I think another reason I was rejected as a nun is because of all the fur babies who were to come in the future who needed me.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top