No, the single life is not a vocation. Theology of the Body emphasizes the point that God makes us to live “spousally,” i.e. we are made to live in committed, permanent relationships of total self-giving. This kenotic, relational love finds its source and archetype in the love among the three Persons of the Trinity.
The single life is not a vocation because it lacks permanence. It is always open to change, and is therefore necessarily a prelude to another state. Marriage, priesthood, religious life, and lay consecration are vocations because they are all characterized by a permanent, spousal commitment to God.
Hope this helps.
God bless,
Chris
This is one way of looking at it. Still, I would not say that a faithful Catholic who has remained single “has no vocation.” All the baptized have a vocation; that is, all have a mission within the life of the Church. Rather, a Catholic who remains single must always be open to the possibility that God may have another call in mind later in their lives, because, as you say, the single life should not be assumed to be a* permanent *vocation. The single life may turn out to have been one’s permanent vocation, though, by default, as it were. It would be wrong to suppose that a Catholic who remained single over the course of a long life in service to God simply had not been listening!
From Lumen Gentium, the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, Chapter IV: The Laity
(italics and underline, mine):
“31. The term laity is here understood to mean
all the faithful except those in holy orders and those in the state of religious life specially approved by the Church…they carry out for their own part the mission of the whole Christian people in the Church and in the world…”
“…the laity,
by their very vocation, seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and by ordering them according to the plan of God…”
32. By divine institution Holy Church is ordered and governed with a wonderful diversity. “For just as in one body we have many members, yet all the members have not the same function, so we, the many, are one body in Christ, but severally members one of another”.(191) Therefore, the chosen People of God is one: “one Lord, one faith, one baptism”(192); sharing a common dignity as members from their regeneration in Christ,
having the same filial grace and the same vocation to perfection; possessing in common one salvation, one hope and one undivided charity. There is, therefore, in Christ and in the Church no inequality on the basis of race or nationality, social condition or sex, because “there is neither Jew nor Greek: there is neither bond nor free: there is neither male nor female. For you are all ‘one’ in Christ Jesus”.(193)
If therefore in the Church everyone does not proceed by the same path, nevertheless
all are called to sanctity and have received an equal privilege of faith through the justice of God.(194)…
As for the OP, a lack of control of one’s temper is a spiritual fault that does not become permissible because one lacks a spouse or religious congregation to be afflicted with its repercussions on a daily basis! Likewise, lack of long-standing relationships may stem from either the lack of suitable friends, a lack in the opportunity to cultivate those friendships that are available because of other legitimate duties, or a spiritual fault in the person who lacks those relationships, among other things. If one of the reasons you have not had long-standing relationships with women is due to spirtual faults within yourself, that needs to be addressed. If it is for other causes, though, these should not be assumed to be permanent.
It does not matter that God has not shown you many women, any of whom would have made suitable wife for you. God only has to find you the one, and in God’s own good time. It may be that, had your wife met you now, she would not have had the courage to take you, or you might not have had the wisdom to recognize each other. It may be that God has work left to do on both of you, before introductions are in order! Likewise, you may not be ready to be introduced to your local director of vocations, either! Every thing in its time.
IOW, strive for holiness and for every virtue, to be a loving and giving person capable of serving God within your relationships with others. That way, if God sees fit to call you to the priesthood, to the diaconate, to marriage, or to the religious life, you have not wasted the time given to you for preparation. If God calls you only to the single life, you still will have used your time on earth well.
