Again, please strike the word “marital” and insert adulterous as it pertains to Catholic couples. **Despite your lengthy description of a marriage, none of it applies to a union *not ***sanctioned by God nor blessed according to His plan for humanity. Think of the word Covenant as explained by the Church. (I’m leaving the annulment issue aside in speaking right now, and of course, there are valid reasons for the Church to issue annulments without proclaiming an amnesty for first marriages.) I do understand the secular perspective which discounts the power and action of God Who continually calls us back to Himself, regardless the situation we have forced upon ourselves. Those who have purposefully placed themselves outside His grace are not open to His grace and therefore would most likely find abstinence an impossibility. But we need not be slaves to sin and I do not buy into the thinking that it is impossible for us to reject it for that would be completely contrary to the actual words of the gospel.
Here is a sad reality in todays society - personal sin is NOT acknowledged nor owned. If my first sacramental marriage fails and I choose another “spouse” fully understanding I am stepping outside the boundaries and cutting myself off from grace, it is my responsibility to accept the consequences of my choice. Look at the comments on these threads and count the number of times those in this situation proclaim “I made a mistake” and now the Church is punishing me. They may well have made a mistake; the complexities of marriage are too many to name, but did they fully utilize the grace which God promised that is particular to the sacrament ? Who knows? But let’s identify each circumstance for what it is. The secondary choice of “re-marrying” should not be identified as part of the mistake when the independent choice of living with another not graced by God is clearly *sin. *
First, I find it insulting that you say my description of my marriage does not apply to a union not sanctioned by God. I live that description every day and have for the last 12 years. I can say without a doubt that my description applies to my marriage.
The action that places many divorced and remarried outside of God’s Grace was not done purposefully, you do understand that, yes? Many, perhaps most, of those who were not catholic or who were poorly instructed catholics or who fell away for a time and did not believe the Church’s teaching and who have married, divorced, and remarried truly believed they were doing nothing wrong or that would cut them off from God.
You say “If my first sacramental marriage fails and I choose another “spouse” fully understanding I am stepping outside the boundaries and cutting myself off from grace, it is my responsibility to accept the
consequences of my choice.” and I agree. Yet what about those that A) had no full or even partial understanding or B) who were never in Sacramental marriages in the first place?
There does seem to be a tendency to keep saying “Catholic” and “Sacramental” when discussing marriage issues. You must understand that the majority who are having issues with remarriage and annulment were NOT catholic when they entered into their previous marriage(s) or their current marriages. They are mostly converts and/or those who want to marry a faithful catholic. These are people who were taught by their families, their society, and even their own faiths that divorce does, in fact, dissolve a marriage and that remarrying is not a problem. Because of those beliefs alone the person couldn’t contract a valid marriage according to the Church and yet they are held to the same standards and procedures used for those who were given understanding.
Additionally, there are a number of people who couldn’t have been in Sacramental marriages because our ex’s weren’t baptized. For people marrying civilly or in other faiths baptismal status doesn’t make any difference at all. In the Church, it does.
