How 'bout this scenario. I get a job at Planned Parenthood, but whenever people come in, i tell them that taking the free condoms is a sin, refuse to prescribe them contraceptions, and refer them only to adoption agencies, never abortion clinics. Eventually, i’d get fired. Do you think the news media would do a story with me as victim? “Abortion and contraception are the source and summit of my life. I’ll always be a member of Planned Parenthood in my heart.” People would think i was nuts.
When your actions don’t reflect your words, people need to call you on it. An excommunication is supposed to be a wake up call.
Unfortunately, our society tends to blame people for making others feel bad instead of coddling them. I hope these men come to the truth and realize that what’s at stake here is not how the Church can make them happy by bending the rules, but how the Church will not stand idly by and support the destruction of their very souls.