Mysty101:
Hi,
I have been away for a while. You are in my prayers.
Wonderful news from you----any more to report?
It is such a huge step----How could it be clear when it is just being born???
I do have news.
Last Saturday (a week ago) our group had a retreat with the priest, the same one who is my SD. He had to leave as he had Confesions and then the Sat. Vigil Mass, but told us to pray in the meantime until we were done. So as it was, we prayed in the following manner, as it developed:
One person sat in a chair in the center, we all prayed for that person in the Spirit, as the Spirit directed, whether in describing images or words that came to mind, or just simple prayers for that person. I myself didn’t have much to say but the Lord helped me understand that just to be there loving that person was enough.
As it was my turn some very powerful images came into my mind and I have to say they kind of freaked me out:
As the group began to pray (about 8 peopl or so), I closed my eyes and said my own personal prayer, including one for JP2’s intercession.
A very vivid image came into my mind: a monstrance I have never seen before, and the face of Jesus appeared in the center. From that a very bright light began to glow and emanate so strongly it almost had a sound. I actually opened my eyes because it was so REAL. But I knew I had to trust Jesus so I prayed to him and closed my eyes again. I saw the same image, exactly, and it repeated…as though the Lord wanted me to be comforted and didn’t want me to be too overwhelmed. Hard to explain.
Then in this image, I was kneeling (I felt that, although in reality I was seated),and I saw Jesus actually step out of the Monstrance and appear in front of it, robed in dark red, trimmed in gold. He held his hand out to me.
The words spoken to me by others during this time period are very personal and actually spoke of words I used in prayer (in English), and other things which affirmed my recent discernment. I was actually floored.
I said nothing to anyone, however, until our prayer meeting Tuesday. Then, almost shaking, I told the group that after the 6th person had asked me about a Vocation and after the experience I had at the retreat, I realized I needed to honestly look into a possible Vocaiton.
Father wasn’t there at the time, and it took me until Thursday evening to call him and tell him what I was thinking. Wen met on Friday and talked about it, so now I have 2 steps pending:
I need to call the Vocations Director for my archdiocese, and I need to try to go to a discernment retreat in mid-July. I need prayers for this because I can’t afford to put my dogs up and I need someone to watch them for me, otherwise I can’t go. This belongs to God.
I’m really not sure what to say to our Vocations director, so I’m hoping God will guide me here. I’ve never met him althoug he used to be the pastor of my current parish and people just love him. That helps, that his reputation preceeds him.
I was terrifed to tell Father, though…he is my SD but even so I was almost more afraid to reveal this to him than I was to go to Confession after 2-3 years. Of course he was very supportive and encouraging, and I can’t tell you how much better I feel that I have a courese of action to follow, no matter where it leads!
Thank you for your prayers. I don’t know why this is so scary. I actually had people outright laugh and ridicule me for past career asiprations…but the thought that someone might have this reaction to this possible path terrifies me, no matter how ridiculous that sounds.
