My parents were in the Church of Christ for a few years while I was growing up. If I recall, we went to services every Wed. and Sun. My uncle and his entire family are still in the Church of Christ (although I think they consider themselves slightly independent given the recent problems in that church).
My experience with them has been nothing but awful.
I truly believe that my uncle’s family thinks they are doing the right thing. You need to recognize, however, that the CoC is incompatible with the Catholic faith on many, many, many levels, no matter how sincere and devoted its followers may be. Plainly said, it is a cult. I am quite surprised, in fact, that this man can be in a relationship with you at all. My cousins are not allowed to date anyone outside of the Church of Christ. My uncle thinks my family and I are all going to hell because we’ve never been properly baptised.
My parents were sucked into the CoC (from Catholicism, in fact) much the way that many people are sucked into cults. When we went to the first service, everyone acted so, so, so nice, so friendly, like they had known us for our entire lives. I remember being around my uncles group of CoC friends (in fact, his only group of friends) later in my life; they were eerily intimate in their mannerisms and conversation. I just wanted to get away.
My parents were promoted up the hierarchy in the local CoC fairly quickly. The sole reason for this was that my parents were somewhat wealthy. The more invested they were in the CoC, the more money they gave to the CoC. My parents are also psychologists, and the CoC needed a pair of good psychologists.
I gained many new friends while in the CoC for those few years. I don’t remember their names now but they basically overrode all my other friends. The same thing happened to my parents. We routinely had dinner with “friends,” we always met with “friends,” we went to the park on weekends with “friends.” Life seemed good, and my parents suddenly had a giant network of “friends.”
Of course, things started to deteriorate. My father had questions about the faith that no one could answer. I ask my uncle some of these same questions even today. I kid you not – the response is always identical; his eyes sort of glass over and he completely ignores me. We can be in the middle of a religious discussion and he will act like I’m not even there. My parents said that the same thing happened to them.
I imagine the CoC thought that they had my parents fairly indoctrinated, as the patients that they sent were having all sorts of problems with the CoC. I don’t remember particulars, but these people were suffering psychologically because, for example, they had to destroy old relationships, they were told that their family and friends were going to hell, and so forth.
Eventually, my parents met with the leaders of the CoC in our area and explained why they were leaving. I didn’t understand because I was still very young. I didn’t understand what happened to my friends; they all vanished. All those kind adults with whom I had spent so many weekends and eaten so many dinners – they all vanished too. The very next day.
I never saw most of them again. It was like they all thought we were under the influence of the devil. In fact, my parents suspect that this is what they were told.
So, why am I telling you all of this? I think I’m trying to make the point that the CoC is not merely a Christian faith. It’s a cult. It really is a cult.
It must be so painful to consider leaving this man over religious differences if you truly have feelings for him. However, I would urge you to strongly consider the unending conflicts that marriage would entail for you two. I think that in this case you need to make a decision that has nothing to do with love but everything to do with reason and practicality. If I were in your position, I would end the relationship. I honestly don’t think it’s possible for you to have a healthy marriage with someone in a religious cult.