Catholic gal dating Muslim Man

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I just want to offer this: not all that long ago, the Catholic Church wouldn’t even consider a marriage between a Catholic and a Protestant a sacrament. A lot of what’s being said here sounds a lot like intolerance, and the Church changed how stringent it was on marriages after a while. Who’s to say that won’t change in a few years?
 
you mentioned the army nurse corps. are you in the military?

i am not sure of your age, but i see a lot of warning signs. he might be a nice person, but even though he might be a lax muslim right now, if that should change in the future after children are born, you are stuck!

i would proceed cautiously.
 
If the man will not convert to Christianity you must end it – period. I’ve heard to many horror stories about Islamic men marrying Christian women.
 
Tic_Toc said:
I just want to offer this: not all that long ago, the Catholic Church wouldn’t even consider a marriage between a Catholic and a Protestant a sacrament. A lot of what’s being said here sounds a lot like intolerance, and the Church changed how stringent it was on marriages after a while. Who’s to say that won’t change in a few years?
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There cannot be a Christian marriage between a Christian and a Muslim. We’re supposed to love our enemy not marry and become joined with him.
 
happy noodle cat - i noticed you just joined the forum tonight 8-18-08.

hope this was a serious post.

odd signature.

i am not sure if you would make a good catholic or a good muslim. you don’t seem to understand the commitment to believe in one religion. maybe you need to mature a little more before making a decision about this relationship.
 
emeraldcoast said:
This is a strange comment for me " I’m quite fine with them being raised Muslim and going to Catholic schools. "

I am not Catholic but currently our Episcopalian children attend a Catholic School. I will be honest with you, as a parent of non-Catholic children attending a Catholic School, I do find myself explaining a few differnce in our faiths but only a few and none of them seem to be salvation issues;) but slight differences. I think that you would confuse your children sending them to a Catholic School if your intent was to raise them Muslim.

I am also one to believe that one faith in the house is important. I have heard some mention 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 when speaking of mixed marriages.

God Bless!
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What about the verse from first Corinthians

1 Corinthians 7:12-14: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband.”
rinnie said:
Please forgive me for being blunt, but if you dont see a problem you need to go back and start from scratch about your faith. Are you really a Catholic, or are you Catholic in name only. There is such a differece in the religions its unreal. It would just confuse the Children. Its none of my business but i can tell you now. There is no way you can have two religions that contradict eachother so much and making them work. Also I cant see you getting married in the Catholic Church and Father being cool with this. I believe that if you get married in the Church you still must sign a paper with the children being Catholic. I would suggest you go back and reconnect with your faith, then when you see what the big problems are then make your decision. I can not see this working for you.
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Obviously there’s going to be difference because there two different religions but there are more similarities than you might think. So one says Jesus is God the other says he is only a prophet, yes there are many other differences but this seems to be the prime object of conflict. Although I havent read it yet there is a book in my library that illustrates the remarable similarites between catholcism and Shiite Islam. One example is the rosmary. Another is the pilgrimage Muslims make to latin America to see a picture of Lady Fatima but I think this Fatima refers to one of Muhammud’s daughters. There is an article I read a while ago that claimed Islam was created by the Catholic Church! Talk about conspiracy theories.
 
Veritas41 said:
You mentioned in your post that you don’t feel a need to evangelize your boyfriend and that you would have no problem with your children being raised Muslim and that you feel Islam is another way to God. If this is true, then there is no compelling reason for you to remain Catholic. But if it isn’t, then are you willing to gamble the soul of your boyfriend and any future children you may have?

Have you studied Islam to learn all its beliefs? Have you read the Koran?

Jesus made some very exlusive, extraordinary claims about himself in the Bible, including being the only way to God (John 14:6). Islam teaches Jesus is only a prophet, and certainly not God or the only way to God. Both of these things cannot be true at the same time – either Jesus is who he claimed to be (God) and Islam is wrong about something very important, or Jesus isn’t who he claimed to be. In that case, Islam would still be wrong about Jesus because Jesus couldn’t possibly be a prophet of God if he were delusional or arrogant enough to believe he were God.

If it was necessary for Jesus to suffer and die on a cross for our sins in order for us to be reconciled to God, then Islam is wrong in teaching that we can make it to heaven on our own efforts. But if Islam is just one of many paths to God, then why did Jesus die on the cross?

Do you believe all we need to do is believe that God exists, or does God want us to *know *him? And how can we know God if what we know *about *him isn’t true? And if God wants us to *know *him, then he must have made it possible for us to know the truth about *him *–so different religions that teach contradictory things about God and his nature and character can’t all be different paths to God. If I want someone to know me, I have to tell him and show him the truth of who I am. If I hide who I am or make up things about myself that aren’t true, then I haven’t revealed myself to others and they don’t really know me. This is true of God as well, since he is a personal Being.

If Jesus really is God and really is the only way to God, and the Eucharist is really his Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity, and the other sacraments truly convey his grace and power (including the indwelling of the Holy Spirit – how awesome is that??) then why would you want your boyfriend or children to miss out on those great gifts?

– being the one and only Church founded by Christ; infallible in teaching, etc. I realized long ago if those claims aren’t true, then the Catholic Church is a church I want nothing to do with, but if they are, then I want to be in it and I want others to be in it as well. Did I know Jesus before I became Catholic? Yes! Was I saved before I became Catholic? Yes! But now I know and love him more than ever before and have access to all the grace he wants to lavish upon me through his own Body and Blood and the other sacraments. I want my non-Catholic friends to have what I have, and my children as well.
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God bless you,

You can no more disprove Islam to be true as you can prove Catholcism. Its merely a matter of faith. I’m sure most of you when you think of a Christian women marrying a Muslim man you think of the movie “Not WIthout My Daughter.” But the truth of the matter is that not every Muslim man is set out to islamcize the family. Some trouble does occur though. A friend of mine had a hard time growing up because his Mom was Muslim and his father a Christian but in the long run it made him a stronger Christian because it was a choice he reflected on and it wasnt something he took for granted. I also know a married couple were the husband is Muslim and wife is Hare Krishna and they started a counseling services for married couples to strengthen their marriage. I think its harder for blacks than whites to dismiss Islam as being fake because 1/4 blacks are Muslims. Most black people you speak to know someone in their family or a family friend who is a Muslim. In fact this reality manifested itself on the pulpit a few months ago while I was at a all black church and the preacher said that the black community shouldnt feel forced to decide between Martin and Malcom. Still, Islam can be just as intolerant as Christianity. According to Sharia law it is ok for a man to marry a Christian woman but it isnt ok for a Muslim Women to marry a Non-Muslim. This, double standard cannot stand without enduring some form of criticism. One last point I want to add. Christianity isnt the only religion that says its the only way. In fact many others make the same claim. Even a religion that seems tolerant like Hinduism has verses from their scriptures that are based on eclusivity.
 
jen_fla said:
while it might be rare, you do know he can marry 3 other women while he’s married to you? he could change his mind about monogamy 20 yrs down the road.

his religion also allows him to have mistresses (right hand possessions.) i know that some Christians cheat, but our religion does not condone it.

please read through the authentic hadiths to learn a bit more before you choose a spouse that believes in some very contrasting things to Catholicism.

God bless you both.
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There are more nuances to the polygamy issue there your presenting. Many muslims consider polgamy to be a historical neccesity because at the time of their prophet many households were left desolate and wives were left with no husband. so they need someone to take care of them so that is why the Husband took a second and third and fourth wife. Also a husband can only take another wife if he has his first wifes permission and he treats them all equally. My criticism of polygamy is that only rich men could have polgamous relationships because poor men can afford it.
 
happynoodlecat said:
And for Muslims, the marriage contract specifically states that the children must be raised Muslim. Honest to God, I have no problem with that. I really don’t. I suppose a large part of it is due to the fact that I honestly don’t see why whether the kids are Muslim or Catholic is such a big deal.
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Your religion specifically states that you have an obligation to raise the children Catholic.
 
As others have mentioned, remember that as a Catholic you have an obligation to raise your children in the fullness of the Church. Further, understand that in muslim cultures children are counted in the religion of their father so that his family will consider your children muslim. If they decide later in their own lives they want to embrace their Christian heritage, apostasy from Islam is punishable by death or at least mutilation. Even if your husband still isnt serious about muslim beliefs, what is to say his father, brother or an uncle wouldnt view it as their responsibility to set matters straight if your children rejected Islam? Being born to a muslim father your children will have no freedom of choice in religion in the eyes of your potential husband’s family. Finally, I will relate a story of a christian/muslim couple that lived in the same apartment building as me for awhile. They had a good marriage and he was not a serious muslim. He died of cancer in his 30s and when his family came for the funeral they did not leave, but being devout muslims tried to set his family in order including forcing his widow to conform with muslim norms, trying to force a muslim upbringing on their young son and there seemed to be a great deal of abuse towards his widow. She finally had to flee to protect herself and her child from this family. I even heard from my mother that one of the husband’s brother’s tried to force himself on her sexually. Such a relationship can go very wrong in many ways.
 
happynoodlecat said:
Weird, isn’t it?

I’ve been dating a Muslim man for about a year now. We’ve met each other’s parents and have an approval from both sides, although I think my old-school, pre-Vatican II mom is a bit hesitant.

Interestingly enough, he’s also gone to Mass as well and enjoyed talking with the parish priest.

We’ve discussed the possibility of marriage. Both of us wish to wait though and finish college and probably launch our careers. I told him I wouldn’t marry him until I got commissioned into the Army Nurse Corps (which would be in about 2 years). We’ve encouraged each other to see other people to make sure that we feel connected with each other and that it’s simply not lust or mere infatuation. Both of us agree that we’re truly in love. I have a few questions though.
**
How terrible is it, from a Catholic view, that I refuse to try and encourage him to convert?

Is it really that bad that I am quite fine with not raising the children Catholic? I’m quite fine with them being raised Muslim and going to Catholic schools.

And from a Catholic perspective, is it really that bad to be in a mixed faith marriage? I mean, we do have disagreements, obviously, but we’ve found compromises to be beneficial in our relationship. for example, he’d go to Mass on Sundays if I went to Jum’ah (Muslim Prayer service) on Fridays.**

I should also note that he’s a rather lax Muslim. Very modern sort of guy and very respectful. He enjoys drinking a nice beer once in a while with me. 😃 But he staunchly refuses to eat anything containing pork, which I respect, though it amuses me. :rolleyes:

For me, I’m a very tolerant Catholic. Not that militant or aggressive. For me, I see the Islam as another route to God. It’s not better or worse than Catholicism, just another way.
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Please be very careful. He’s tolerant now, but will that last? What if he experiences a ‘new birth’ in Islamic fundamentalism? If he’s from the Middle East, what if he decides to relocate you there, where you’ll be treated as a second-class-citizen? What about your children? Is there any chance you’re simply fascinated with the idea of dating a Muslim? Respectfully…college kids are notorious for displays of rebellion, overt and otherwise.
 
You don’t appear to a staunch Catholic? If you were, you would never consider bringing your children up as Muslim.

I suggest you think long and hard about this because it is a life altering decision. It will totally shape the identity of your children.

Remember that you come from a totally different culture than your partner. It may not present many problems now but it may in the future. You come from totally different backgrounds. Do you want to pass on your culture to your children, or his? You can’t have it both ways - they are either Muslim or Catholic. They cannot be both. By trying to raise them as both Catholic and Muslim, they will feel very confliced. For instance, could they drink alcohol or eat pork?

How important is your faith to you? That’s the question you have to answer. And perhaps more importantly, how important is your culture? Do you want your children to have Christian names or arabic names? Do you want them to dress as Muslims, or as western children? Do you want your daughter to wear a headscarf?

What do your parents think about this?

By allowing your children to be raised Muslim, you are turning your back on your heritage to a large degree. Your forefathers were Christian, you are a Christian, so why wouldn’t you want your children to be Christian?

Religion is about heritage and culture. It is about passing your family traditions on.

You really need to learn your faith. For one, believing that Islam is another route to God is heresy; it is called religious indifferentism. This has been condemned by the Church. Also, there is no such thing as “old-school” Catholicism. The faith has never changed in 2000 years. Vatican II did not change doctrine or beliefs. It was entirely pastoral in nature. What was once held to be true, is still held to be the truth. There is no change.

I can see no good in bringing your children up as Muslim. You need to realise the implications of this, but most importantly, you need to realise the truth of the Catholic faith. You do not realise how priveledged you were to be born a Catholic - you were given the fullness of the truth in your infancy, and now you are in danger of throwing it away.
 
KingAlfred said:
Please be very careful. He’s tolerant now, but will that last? What if he experiences a ‘new birth’ in Islamic fundamentalism? If he’s from the Middle East, what if he decides to relocate you there, where you’ll be treated as a second-class-citizen? What about your children? Is there any chance you’re simply fascinated with the idea of dating a Muslim? Respectfully…college kids are notorious for displays of rebellion, overt and otherwise.
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I concur.

**happynoodlecat, i suggest you read go through these threads:
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=259036
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=260446
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=261353

Special thread:

**Malaysia: Court Denies Woman’s Appeal To Leave Islam
**
The above links are some of the current hot debates with Muslim apologists. We are not demonizing Muslims (as some of us have plenty of Muslim friends who are kind in nature and very good citizens), but when it comes to religion and marriage, please choose your life-partner carefully. We are in no position to stop you from loving your Muslim boyfriend, or even marrying him. That decision is solely yours and yours alone. But i strongly suggest you learn more about your own religion (and build a solid foundation) first, as it seems you have very little knowledge about it and its history.
**
 
LDNCatholic said:
9/11 was against America, not against the Catholic Church, no Muslim has ever attacked me for my religion. American Evangelist Protestants are a different matter.
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Well LDN, you better wake up and smell the atrocities that are happening with Catholics everywhere. Do you watch news? Do you subscribe to two Catholic newspapers as myself? Do you belong to the Catholic League? Ever hear of it? Wake up buddy and see how our priests and people of some countries are being murdered for the sake of Catholicism.
Islam is in a fight to the death with Christianity and the sooner you realize this, the more informed you’ll be when we have a holy war, (which, by the way, is happening now).
 
**I AM A CATHOLIC MARRIED TO A MUSLIM MAN. **

My husband is a lax Muslim, so I did not think that religious differences would be a problem between us.

I was born and raised in a very catholic country (Poland) and my whole family is Catholic. However, I driffted from faith in collage and then I met my future husband.

There are some very important points you need to remember when you ponder marrying a Muslim:
  • You may be OK now with raising your children Muslim, but when you are holding your son or daughter and you KNOW you will have to answer to God for their soul, it’s a different story. Choosing to raise them Catholic is not the same as choosing a doctor or a school for them. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISION YOU WILL EVER HAVE TO MAKE. Because if they don’t know the truth about God and salvation, then nothing else matters. It is your responsibility to lay a foundation for their spiritual growth. They may not choose to built on it, but at least you did what you could.
  • If you want to get married in church, you can, but the priest will tell you that the kids will have to be raised Catholic. It’s one of the conditions that will have to be fulfilled to have your marriage convalidated.
  • My husband had a problem with natural family planning that I wanted to do. In Islam a wife is supposed to give herself to her husband whenever he wants. It is her duty. In fact one of my friends who is a devout Muslim told me that women in Islam have a lot of freedom, since this is the only thing that women actually HAVE to do. You may be OK with it now, but when you have a baby you had to take care of all day, and somehow you need to survive each day on 4 hours of sleep, you really don’t want to HAVE to make love to your husband.
  • My husband treats me like I’m his servant. He has never helped me with anything. I do man’s and woman’s job in our family. I mow the lawn, do landscaping, change flat tires on our children’s bikes, I do all the home improvements and repair jobs in our family. He finds it offensive if I ask him to take a garbage out. I also have a full time job. When I take the kids somewhere that they want to go, like an amusement park, a fair or a museum, he never comes with us. He says he is not having fun when he does those things. What HE wants is always a priority.
  • According to Islam your children will be considered Muslim because children are born into religion of a father. Even though your boyfriend is a lax Muslim, he may have some relatives who will demand that your children are raised Muslim. Your opinion on this matter will have no merit since the voice of a woman is worth only half of voice of a man in Islam. Please read, if you can, a book titled “Not Without My Daughter”. It was written by an American woman who married an Iranian, whose family later kidnapped her daughter with his permission. By coincidence I am married to an Iranian as well.
  • Islam is not another way to God. The only way to God is Jesus. The excuse that your mom was strict in her Catholicism, therefore you are lax, is no excuse at all. You are an adult now, and there are many resources available to you to deepen your faith (starting with Catholic Answers Live). Spirituality is not like an “all you can eat” bar where you go and dish up what you want. If there are many different ways to God, why not raise your children Hindu?
  • Islam means “submission”. In Islam God is not a loving Father, a merciful Savior, He is not Love. You need to ask yourself a foundamental question: DO YOU WANT YOUR KIDS TO BE CHILDREN OF GOD (CHRISTIANITY) OR DO YOU WANT THEM TO BE SLAVES OF GOD (ISLAM)???
    Please get your hands on a book by Mark Gabriel “Jesus and Muhammad”. It is written by an Egiptian convert to Christianity. It is full of information you will never get from Muslims.
I pray that you choose wisely. Your future children depend on it.

All for Jesus since He gave all of Himself to us.
 
deborahaz said:
you mentioned the army nurse corps. are you in the military?

i am not sure of your age, but i see a lot of warning signs. he might be a nice person, but even though he might be a lax muslim right now, if that should change in the future after children are born, you are stuck!

i would proceed cautiously.
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I’m going through AROTC right now. I won’t officially be in the military yet.

That has been one of many thoughts that have crossed my mind. I am well aware of the horror stories that have occured from a mixed Muslim marriage. I am also aware that it is possible for such a marriage to last as well, children or no.

I have said that I am waiting on this and praying. As one of the first posters said, a lot can happen in two years, which is exactly why I’m waiting. I know right now it’s too early. I’m praying about this to make sure that this man is the right one for me.

And to all who have stated that I have an obligation to raise my children Catholic, where can I find this document/doctrine, ect? Is it in the Catechism or did the pope specifically state it or what? I’m not trying to challenge you, I just want to know where it states in our religion that it is exactly the case. I want to see for myself.
 
To the OP, you were given precious advice…read them all seriously…
 
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