Catholic in a Lutheran family

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Good points, all. Thank you. I just have to transition. One of the things I did is adopt my ex’s church family as my own, letting them know they’re still part of the family; and not doing a dramatic shift between faiths. I’m going to wait until I move out and let the reality of the new life sink in before I do any major transitions.

My youngest is wearing his dead mother’s rosary and my oldest started to read my copy of the Catechism. Hehehe.
 
Michael16 said:
Thank you, mrsdizzyd. I want to take that position; but I still want to honor my father and mother by not taking too hard of a “ they’re my kids, so back off “ position.
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I’m not too sure what’s so bad about this position when (grand) parents do not know the meaning of boundaries.

You are the father, and you know what you have to do. “Back off” may be the a completely appropriate response to such grandparents.
 
I agree with you porthos11. I guess I’m just going to have to draw up the fortitude to stand up to my parents. It’s going to be hard; as my habit is to cave when they bellow, rage and cry. I’m too sensitive/timid by nature in the face of that emotional storm to brave it by being callous to it.
 
Michael16 said:
I agree with you porthos11. I guess I’m just going to have to draw up the fortitude to stand up to my parents. It’s going to be hard; as my habit is to cave when they bellow, rage and cry. I’m too sensitive/timid by nature in the face of that emotional storm to brave it by being callous to it.
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Well here’s the rub.

You are a father.

Your days of raging and crying in the face your parents are over. You need to, quite frankly, man up.
 
I’m not the one raging and crying; they are. But, you’re right: I need, as their father; to man up.
 
is there any possibility you can move out and not live with your relatives? I do think this will be easier on youin the long run. and as other have said, you are the father, these are your kids, it is you r responsibility to raise them the way God wishes.
 
njlisa said:
You are King Papa. You are in charge of your family. As King Papa, you determine how your children should be raised. Lovin
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However, the children are Lutherans and are above the age of reason. They will need to decide they want to become Catholic —or not. He cannot make the transition on his own authority.
 
“Age of reason” is not the defining line here. It’s age of majority, and these kids are minors.

Of course the father has both the right and duty to raise his children Catholic.

If they were past the age of majority, that would be a different story. But until then, the father calls the shots, and for the sake of his immortal soul, he better do so.
 
JulianN said:
However, the children are Lutherans and are above the age of reason. They will need to decide they want to become Catholic —or not. He cannot make the transition on his own authority.
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His kids are 8 years old, not 14. One year past the age of reason. It’s likely that where Daddy takes them regularly to church, and what they see Daddy doing, is going to have a significant influence on them at that age. I don’t know a single 8-year-old whose parents allow him or her to make his own decision about where he will attend church services, they go where they are taken by their families. On top of that, one kid is already reading the Catechism and the other is showing an interest in the rosary.

Transitioning them slowly to attending the Catholic Church while allowing them to still attend Lutheran Church part of the time with their grands is a good idea in view of the fact that their mom just died. It doesn’t sound like Dad is going to march them to the Catholic church and order them to convert tomorrow.
 
He can expose them to Catholicism. He can take them to Mass. What he cannot do is “make them” become Catholic unless they want to.
 
I agree. I’m just pointing out that the slow transition is the way to go. Some posters’ suggestions (not the OP himself) are veering toward taking a harder line than is appropriate.
 
JulianN said:
He can expose them to Catholicism. He can take them to Mass. What he cannot do is “make them” become Catholic unless they want to.
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And I’m saying just the opposite. Yes he can, and he should. He not only has the authority; he has the obligation. They under the age of majority, which places them under his authority, and which gives him the right to raise them in the appropriate religion. If he fails to do this, he will answer to God for his inaction. As a Catholic father, he has the serious obligation to do this as the priest of his family.
 
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He can “raise” them as Catholics—he does not have the authority to make them convert. If he marched them into a parish and insisted on them making a profession of faith, the priest is going to ask them if they really want to become Catholic. If they say they’re happy as Lutherans, he’s not going to be able to force them.

The OP seems to have the right idea about taking this gradually.
 
They are 8 years old. What is there to convert? Unless this is a really bizarre Lutheran Church, they wouldn’t have made any “profession of faith” at 8yo. Start taking them to Mass. Sign them up for PSR and have them prepare for first Holy Communion. At that age, “raising them Catholic”, makes them Catholic. When they are old enough for Confirmation, the priest won’t recommend them if they say they don’t want to be Confirmed, which would be the same as if they’d be raised Catholic from the beginning.
 
Not exactly. They were baptized as Lutherans—that’s what makes them Lutheran. If they were under age 7, what you described is what would happen. Since they are above the age of reason, they have to convert before, for example, receiving Comunion. That requires a voluntary profession of faith.
 
porthos11 said:
And I’m saying just the opposite. Yes he can, and he should. He not only has the authority; he has the obligation . They under the age of majority, which places them under his authority, and which gives him the right to raise them in the appropriate religion. If he fails to do this, he will answer to God for his inaction. As a Catholic father, he has the serious obligation to do this as the priest of his family.
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No. This is not at all correct, according to Canon Law.

Canonically, the determining moment in this matter is the use of reason and not attainment of majority.

The children are Lutheran and that is to be respected. In conformity with canon law, any Catholic priest should refuse to receive these children into full communion with the Roman Church unless the children freely request it. And from what I have read in this thread, the priest should be very cautious indeed about representations concerning these children by the Catholic parent.

Given that every other family member in the house is Lutheran, the children are quite able to continue as Lutheran.
 
I am so happy to see you on the fora! Your posts have always been sources of knowledge and wisdom. I missed them!
 
JulianN said:
I am so happy to see you on the fora! Your posts have always been sources of knowledge and wisdom. I missed them!
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Thank you. That is very kind.

This thread really required the intervention of a priest.
 
Michael, these children have just lost their mother this week. There sounds to be a lot of discord in the household.

I suggest the adults all go to grief counselling in order to help these children through the immense loss of their beloved mother.
And keep all this discord out of the home and away from these children. You have several threads that speak of the discord over this issue.
 
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