Catholic in a Lutheran family

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😞 So: The only thing I can do at this point is try to present as good of a Catholic example as I can and hope they convert?
 
In that case I would say that the grandparents don’t have rights but should pray for the children.
 
It’s not about the grandparents’ rights though—it’s about the children’s rights.
 
Thing is, the grandparents cannot decide what is in the best interests of the children. Now, obviously, from a Catholic perspective, the children’s best interest is to be raised in the Catholic faith. But the grandparents cannot force the children’s parents to make that choice. That choice is up to the parents. Sneakily baptizing children, bringing them to church without the parents’ consent, and teaching them catechism behind the parents’ backs is a surefire way to ensure that the grandparents are NEVER given alone time with the children. It also teaches the children that it is acceptable to lie to Mom and Dad if it’s for a “good cause”.
 
Of course—but that’s not what happened here. These are Lutheran children above the age of reason, from a Lutheran family. Dad is the convert to Catholicism, and he consented to the Lutheran baptism.
 
Ugh. This is another thing I’ll have to bring to Confession.
 
His_helpmeet said:
Thing is, the grandparents cannot decide what is in the best interests of the children. Now, obviously, from a Catholic perspective, the children’s best interest is to be raised in the Catholic faith. But the grandparents cannot force the children’s parents to make that choice. That choice is up to the parents. Sneakily baptizing children, bringing them to church without the parents’ consent, and teaching them catechism behind the parents’ backs is a surefire way to ensure that the grandparents are NEVER given alone time with the children. It also teaches the children that it is acceptable to lie to Mom and Dad if it’s for a “good cause”.
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I am at a complete loss to understand why you have written what you have written.

Your text accords with NOTHING that the original poster wrote of his situation in this and the several other threads of his I have now read.

The original poster and his wife, the children’s mother that the original poster divorced without benefit of annulment and is now deceased, consented to the children being baptised Lutheran, which made the children Lutheran. The grandparents were not acting “sneakily” or without the parents consent.

Given that the children are not Catholic but are in fact Lutheran by the actions of every person in this scenario, Catholic canon law demands that this reality now be respected.

The original poster has even spoken of being himself involved with his children’s Lutheran community.

The grandparents moreover are the ones with whom the original poster and his children are living because of his finances necessitate it. Never given alone time with the children? It is the grandparents who have graciously and generously opened their home to this man and now his children because of his financial insufficiency – these parents – the children’ grandparents – deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and deference and a profound sense of gratitude rather than having their lives upended by religious conflicts in their own home with needless strife.

The parents are, I am sure, quite concerned about the welfare of their grandchildren given this precarious situation. Any grandparent who is their right mind would be.
 
Michael16 said:
No, they have not expressed a desire to be Catholic. Though my oldest likes to go to Mass.
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at 8 yrs old this is not a decision children can make. As the parent it is your responsibility to raise your children. If your family objects you must first tell them that you love them and understand their upset, but the bible says you are the head of your family and responsible for their religious training. Then tell them your choice to be Catholic is not a condemnation of them but their unwillingness to let you be Catholic and raise your children as you see fit shows their condemnation of you.
 
All Christian baptisms are valid. When I went to RCIA, I was studying to be received in the Church. I had to provide a letter proving my baptism.
 
This is simply not true. It is a violation of Canon law. The children are Lutheran—They cannot be compelled to convert; they must come to it of their own free will. It is not within the father’s right to insist that they convert.
 
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vsedriver said:
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Michael16:
No, they have not expressed a desire to be Catholic. Though my oldest likes to go to Mass.
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at 8 yrs old this is not a decision children can make. As the parent it is your responsibility to raise your children. If your family objects you must first tell them that you love them and understand their upset, but the bible says you are the head of your family and responsible for their religious training. Then tell them your choice to be Catholic is not a condemnation of them but their unwillingness to let you be Catholic and raise your children as you see fit shows their condemnation of you.
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Well said. At the end of the day, the original poster must do what is best for his family, and no one else, not the grandparents, nor a priest, nor other strangers can make this decision for him. I would advise the OP not to explain charitably the decision to raise his children as Catholic, and if they do not support his decision, well, they’re just going to have to deal with it. I would not let your family’s concerns, nor the concerns of other external forces, interfere with your choice of how to raise your children. If your children are already interested in the Catholic faith as you say then they are already off to a good start.

One possible strategy would be to start out with the solution you considered in the OP for this thread (alternating weeks between churches), and if your family objects, give them an ultimatum. Either they accept this compromise, or you will take them out of the Lutheran church entirely and go to your Catholic Church every week. If they accept, then you can go from there, shifting them slowly over to Catholicism. If they refuse to approve of this arrangement, then by taking them out of the Lutheran church and exposing them even further to Catholicism you will have an even greater advantage. Either way, if your faith is strong your children will become Catholic and you will have done well in your duty.

I will say that there will be strife between your family no matter what path you choose, or you will be miserable with yourself if you accede to your family’s demands to raise them strictly Lutheran. It will be tough, but stay strong in faith and you will persevere.
 
The “external forces” you are telling him to resist include the Catholic Church.
 
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