I trust their judgment.
No one said it would be so quick or easy. Love is never easy, and so too a marriage is not easy. How to go about it the best way possible, pragmatic and catholic, is the question at this point. A catholic is supposed to handle himself in these situations. [A secularized person can be an easier case to deal with than a person of another religion.]
You have added some interesting puzzle pieces.
If you yourself are not a Catholic, I don’t think you really understand the issue here, or how a parent might feel about it.
I think she sees the truth.
I think you hit the nail on the head. She’s always struggled with conflict and puts off the uncomfortable.
Love it!!!
I don’t think I am being dismissive. My own child is the same age as OP’s and just got married earlier this year. Wanting your kids to be happy and their marriage to last are universal wishes for all good parents. I get it. I just think, given the age of the woman involved, the OP seems to be too involved in these intimate issues between her daughter and the BF. Obviously, if daughter is drawing mother into the “quandry”, that is a problem in and of itself. If mom is angling for BF to change an integral part of himself (non-believer to believer), that is also a problem. I just see dysfunction written all over the situation as it was presented, mainly because it seems like there may be boundary issues. Easy enough to fix, though. That is the good part.
Again, there is nothing in this person’s thread that suggests “dysfunction”. In fact, the more details presented by the parent here, it appears to be quite the opposite.
My thoughts exactly. If one of my boys were to come to me with such a problem, I would tell him that he is a big boy now and he’ll have to figure that out for himself. That’s what being a grown-up means.
I have never broached the subject with my daughter, outside of when she was first telling me about him, the things they do together, and I asked if he goes to church with her. That’s the first time she broke down about the subject and I didn’t pursue any more information, as I knew it upset her. I have never brought this up. She has also confided in her brother about her angst and cried on his shoulder more than once. Like I said, it’s the elephant in the room and we don’t want him to feel uncomfortable or make her feel sad, so no one in the family has been bringing it up or being pushy. That does not mean however, that we are not concerned.
Not at all. I see dysfunction when, despite best efforts, things don’t go well as a result of human behavior. It can be, and usually is, a very natural thing. Also, more often than not in my experience, it is something that can be easily corrected with adjustments. That is all. I am sorry you felt my post is critical. I am a critical thinker by nature, which means I am a pretty good problem solver. Sometimes I am more comfortable with the unpleasantness of life than most, and I am sure it conveys sometimes in unintended ways. Again, my apologies if you find me offensive. Not my intent at all. Most of what I have learned is through experience, when it comes to these issues, so I try to share to spare others some of the heartburn I have lived through (like all of us do).
If you keep giving her “comfort”, she’s just going to keep coming back for more, like an addict or a kid who has never been weened.
I didn’t give him the book, as I’m as passive as my daughter. My son did as he is concerned for his sister and is he is very intentional and bold in his faith. I won’t be giving any books away and my involvement in the relationship is confined to seeking advice on this forum and praying about it, in the event that my daughter comes to me for advice again.