Catholic-Protestant Marriages

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My husband and I (I am Catholic, he was baptised in the First Christian Church…he can pray to God just as well at home, thank you very much!) were just having a “religious” discussion this past Tuesday evening…which most of the time ends in an argument because he says it’s so arrogant of me to think that I (meaning the Catholic Church) am right and everyone else is wrong. He finds it amazing that I believe in absolute truth.

Anyway, we have been happily married for 24 years 👍 and our two children are very Catholic. He is a wonderful man, and I know that God placed him in my life…it’s a rough sell, though! Pray for me (& him!). 🙂
 
CD4 said:
<<<After all, if we don’t follow God, who would we follow?>>>

So very true…While I am very much connected to CCM (the Evangelical Church of Christ I mentioned), I know that I am a Catholic, and cannot change that…I tried, and it was much like trying to change the color of my eyes…It couldn’t be done! So, now I rejoice in having the best of both worlds…Of course, the very best is the Eucharist, and that is why I remain a Catholic.

Good luck to you…I hope your experience with the RCIA will be a good one…I have worked with this group for years, and it is my favorite ministry. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at any time…I would love to help.

Hang in there…So often it is the silent witness of a spouse that will draw a husband or wife into the Church…Pope Paul VI, in his encyclical on evangelism said that the first way to evangelize is to be a silent witness…In other words, live you faith, and the rest will follow.
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CD4,
Thanks so much for your encouragement! My wife says she will convert, but I think she would do it reluctantly, so I told her in her own time would be fine with me. I don’t try to sell her on it. I appreciate your willingness to help me when I start RCIA. You may be hearing from me! There’s alot I don’t know yet, but I know it will just take time.
God bless!
 
Dear Ken:

I too am entering RCIA this fall, converting because I want to be a part of the beautiful world-wide unified True Church. My husband and kids being of the non-denom church background still!!!

So far, we all have gone together everywhere we go, one Sunday we all go to Mass, next Sunday to a different Church. Don’t quite know how it will work when I’m fully Catholic, but I trust God will lead.!!! HIS timing is perfect in all things I have found!

I do think it’s important to all worship together some place on Sundays, no matter where. Just because I might attend a Protestant Church on a given Sunday, I think I’ll still be Catholic! Just like you!!!

Praise the Lord!!!
 
I don’t think the disparities between sincere catholics and protestants are as outcome determinative as some here seem to believe. While society in general used to discourage “mixed” marriages, today those attitudes have changed and such marriages are common. For both there is a common repository of Christian faith. Catholics believe just about everything that protestants believe; but Catholics believe a lot more things that protestants don’t accept. Whenever I go to various churches for weddings, funerals, or other occasions I look in the hymn books. Both Catholics and protestants share much of the same music; in the protestant hymnbooks you will find many tunes from the Katholisches Gesangbuch; in the Catholic hymnbooks you will even find songs by the Wesleys, the founders of United Methodism. In both you will find the same tunes by Bach and Beethoven. Prayers, creeds and other religious writings are shared; you will find the Kyrie Eleison in many protestant hymnals.

I am not denying real differences exist; I am only pointing out that there are great similarities.

Ask around and you will find couples in constant flux; some stay the way they were when married; others either become Catholic or become protestants. It seems that the converts either way become very strong members. Ask and look around.

The one negative observation I have heard more than others is that when a person goes to church alone he or she is likely to be treated as a single person and not as quickly accepted by the married crowd who expects everyone to have a spouse.
 
Re: Worship: Where do couples/families attend when 1 is a Catholic convert and 1 still a Protestant? I’d like to hear some others’ situations here??? If you please…thx.
 
Are there any of you who were non-Catholic, reconciled to the Church, and your spouse did not make the decision to reconcile. We’ve been married almost thirty years and I do not see my spouse converting. We come from a strong Pentecostal background, with a well ingrained anti-Catholic bias. Our children all made the decision to become Catholic as well. Two were confirmed and the younger two were baptized - they had not been baptized as Pentecostals. All of us went thru the RCIA process - and loved it! None of us ever expected to be Catholic.

Converts, tell me how you’ve coped? Have you thrived?
 
Well, I have a similar but different story.

My wife and I were raised Catholic and we fell away and joined a Bible based Church. We began raising our kids Catholic and converted. The Church we switched to was a seeker sensitive Church.

In fact, the novelty of the “seeker sensitive” Church wore off and once I started learning about the Bible and reading the early Church fathers the Catholic Church seemed to be the only choice for me (despite what I was originally taught).

I now attend a Catholic Church (my arms are tired from swimming back an forth across the Tiber 🙂 and hope my family will follow. I try to adhere to the “preach the gospel and only use words when necessary” philosophy.

BTW, this article describes exactly where the “seeker sensitive” Church brought my and now 5-6 months after this article was published becoming a “self feeding” disciple is the new buzz in that same chruch.

christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/octoberweb-only/143-43.0.html

For me, in seeking “the meat” as described in this article, it all brought me home (to Catholicism)…
 
My conversion was a very slow process. I was appropriately apprehensive about Catholics and their statues, and “Marion worship,” considering my Pentecostal pedigree.

Two things happened in tandem that drew me in: the community and study of Catholic theology. I started college late in life - and everything I believed was challenged in the most loving and supportive atmosphere. When I did the research myself, did the reading, and came away with conclusions far different than the standard pat answers I’d been spoon fed, I knew change was in the mix for me.

I had never experienced a community/ies like the ones I encountered - they were wonderful, loving, supportive, and non-judgmental. They did not judge my Pentecostal faith. In short, they did not look at me through the lens that I looked at them. I thought to myself, they are Christian and I say I’m Christian - but I don’t live like them. I kept that close to my heart for many years.

For a while I thought that I could like Catholics, adopt some of the way they did things…but I didn’t need to be Catholic. But the theology had shaken me to the core. I couldn’t look at the Bible any longer from that fundemental perspective. I was relieved I didn’t have to defend some idiotic ideas anymore. I could think. I didn’t have to park my brain at the door. My emotionality was not the only thing that was fed. I couldn’t get it in fast enough.

And then, the community. I saw how they cared for one another. I didn’t even have language for it. I was envious of their understanding of the Eucharist - and for many years, I wondered why anyone would want to go to Mass everyday…and now I understand…as much as anyone, I think…of course the Eucharist is a mystery…but I am drawn to it and to my sisters and brothers in Christ…and I long for it when I cannot be present…

So that’s my story. My spouse isn’t sure what to make of me, cannot understand the appeal of attending Mass as often as
possible…

Yup, so that’s me.

Blessings,

Steelemagnolia:o
 
steelemagnolia said:
My conversion was a very slow process. I was appropriately apprehensive about Catholics and their statues, and “Marion worship,” considering my Pentecostal pedigree.

Two things happened in tandem that drew me in: the community and study of Catholic theology. I started college late in life - and everything I believed was challenged in the most loving and supportive atmosphere. When I did the research myself, did the reading, and came away with conclusions far different than the standard pat answers I’d been spoon fed, I knew change was in the mix for me.

I had never experienced a community/ies like the ones I encountered - they were wonderful, loving, supportive, and non-judgmental. They did not judge my Pentecostal faith. In short, they did not look at me through the lens that I looked at them. I thought to myself, they are Christian and I say I’m Christian - but I don’t live like them. I kept that close to my heart for many years.

For a while I thought that I could like Catholics, adopt some of the way they did things…but I didn’t need to be Catholic. But the theology had shaken me to the core. I couldn’t look at the Bible any longer from that fundemental perspective. I was relieved I didn’t have to defend some idiotic ideas anymore. I could think. I didn’t have to park my brain at the door. My emotionality was not the only thing that was fed. I couldn’t get it in fast enough.

And then, the community. I saw how they cared for one another. I didn’t even have language for it. I was envious of their understanding of the Eucharist - and for many years, I wondered why anyone would want to go to Mass everyday…and now I understand…as much as anyone, I think…of course the Eucharist is a mystery…but I am drawn to it and to my sisters and brothers in Christ…and I long for it when I cannot be present…

So that’s my story. My spouse isn’t sure what to make of me, cannot understand the appeal of attending Mass as often as
possible…

Yup, so that’s me.

Blessings,

Steelemagnolia:o
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I’m curious to see how everyone’s walk is going. Primarily, people who were protestant and converted to Catholicism and spouse stayed Protestant. I’m currently going thru this and the situation is extremely difficult, causing serious strain on an otherwise healthy marriage.
 
My wife and I are a mixed marriage. She’s a product of a Catholic education. Her aunt was a nun (now deceased) her uncle was a priest for decades before leaving to marry. She is very well versed on her faith, but she has no qualms whatsoever ever about breaking rules. She doesn’t make a spectacle of it, but she is very protestant in many of her attitudes that many things are between her and God and none of the Catholic Church’s business: We were married in a Lutheran church, never convalidated. Our son is a baptized Lutheran. She routinely takes communion in both churches. I’ve always thought she’d make a wonderful Lutheran, but inertia and cultural ties, I guess, keep her in the Catholic Church. I’ve never understood how she does it, or why. But she seems spiritually very happy in life. As time has gone on, I’ve found her to be closer to the norm than the exception.
 
Out of curiosity, anyone heard of someone from a reformed background converting? Or even marrying catholic?
 
@LutheranTeach: Not exactly what I was looking for. No offfense but you shouldn’t be giving any advice on the subject. Your wife is actually more Protestant than Catholic. You’re either on board with Holy Mother Church and Jesus or NOT. You can’t pick and choose the things you want to believe and what you don’t. You should also tell your wife she shouldn’t be receiving communion at a Lutheran Church if she’s Catholic.

@Matorin: There are a lot of people from a reformed background who have converted to Catholicism. You should visit www.calledtocommunion.com. I would find it hard to believe a person from strong reformed tradition wanting to marry a Catholic. I guess if they were not strong in their convictions then it probably wouldn’t matter. I wouldn’t recommend a Catholic marrying anyone who isn’t Catholic.

Pax
 
I was a cradle Catholic who got married in a nondenom evangelical church to a Baptist-raised husband; at that point I didn’t consider myself Catholic anymore. In fact, I hadn’t been to Mass in literally decades. However, about two and a half years into our marriage, I felt called back to the Catholic church, after feeling like something was missing in the nondenominational church.

My husband knew I was researching the Catholic Church, and when I first started visiting Mass on Saturday, I kept it very casual and low-key. For example, “I’m going to St. Blanks just to check out what things are like there, you can go with me if you’d like or not, it’s up to you.” His reply: “No thanks.” “Ok, see you later honey, anything I need to pick up from the grocery store on the way home?” I was very casual, friendly, not showing my disappointment. I didn’t want him to make a decision because of guilt, nagging or pressure.

During the few months that I went to Mass by myself, I continued to go to the Protestant church with my husband the next morning. I felt like it was very important not to leave him alone in the “pews” of the church we’d been attending. Sometimes I even went to both churches in one morning!

One Saturday he decided he’d go to Mass–I think his curiosity got to him. When we went, he was amazed by all the bible readings, the beauty of the liturgy and the emphasis on Jesus in the homily and everything else. His anti-Catholic family (whose beliefs he never fully absorbed, thank God) had taught him to expect something quite different. He decided he wanted to keep going to Mass.

For a while, we both went to both churches. And to us (and this was just our experience) the more we went to Mass, the more the Protestant service seemed…lacking. It was friendly, it was casual, and it was filled with good, Godly people who truly loved Jesus. We went to small groups and their “what we believe” classes. But to us, the service itself just seemed like a gathering of singing and listening, not active worship and praying. And the classes just left us with more questions than answers.

Not to mention there was no Eucharist, and from our research of church history and reading of the bible, we were both believing in the Real Presence. (Interestingly, I struggled more with this than my husband, although I’m the one who was raised Catholic and he was raised Baptist!)

Anyway, we finally decided to join the Catholic church. My husband is in RCIA and in a couple weeks our marriage will be convalidated, so I’ll be able to receive communion. So that’s one story. It’s different than some in that initially, I didn’t consider our marriage “mixed,” since I didn’t consider myself Catholic anymore. (But apparently God did!)
 
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