Catholic Schools

[Mr_Lonely]

I am deeply troubled by what I am about to tell you and am curious to see the thoughts of others in the community…

A young girl’s (7) family, was recently told by the girl’s Catholic School that she can no longer attend because she is crying too much everyday. The girl’s mother recently died of cancer and she was having a hard time dealing. I’m sure there are other circumstances involved, but this just makes me ashamed to be associated with these school adminstrators as a fellow Roman Catholic. What have we become if we are telling family’s that their child can’t attend our school because they are crying too much? Are we not the Universal Church of Christ? Last time I check, doesn’t that mean we accept everyone? What makes this worse is that this is an innocent child. Help her!

In my eyes, this is inexcusable, and contradictory to the spreading the faith. I have also witnessed things similar to this personally and I am of the conclusion that the Catholic School System is on the path the failure if it doesn’t change. I am not a school administrator so I can’t tell you what other things may come into play, but I am a concerned parent, parishioner, and Catholic. Turning children away just doesn’t seem right.

 

[Corki]

Before you go bashing the school and the Catholic school system entirely, know that there is almost assuredly more to the story. It may be the case that the child has some emotional or psychological needs that can’t be served by that particular school.

 

[MomaMary8]

But giving proper treatment is the right thing to do. The young child is heart-sick and needs help. Perhaps the school realizes they are NOT properly trained to give psychological help? It is a school, not a treatment facility. The teacher needs to teach the students, not be the therapist for this poor, sad girl. Dont expect more of this teacher and school than what they can give.

 

[Pax2u]

Where did you get your information…directly from the family involved or is this hearsay? I am sure that there is much more to the story than you are knowledgeable about. It does sound to me that this child probably needs some special education services that a Catholic school doesn’t have the finances to supply. The best thing is for this child’s family to find counseling and an appropriate educational setting to assist her.

Public schools have huge amounts of government funding for their special education/counseling programs, and in this case it is most likely the best place for this child right now. A Catholic school does not get those funds. They are religious schools, not medical facilities, and can’t be expected to be anything else. The family needs to step up and provide for this child’s needs.

 

[Mr_Lonely]

I get what you are saying, but this only leads us to another issue. Catholic schools have long been considered a “better” means of adolescent education. However, if more and more Catholic schools are saying they don’t have the means to deal with special needs children (i.e. psychological, emotional, or developmental), then how can they preach to be better when public schools have these services? I get that public schools are subsidized by the county, and by extension the state, and Catholic Schools are privately funded, but it still doesn’t excuse not helping this child. From I’ve been told by the family, there wasn’t even any suggestions for getting specialized help. It was just, she can’t come here anymore.

 

[Pax2u]

I don’t know how it works where you live, but in my state public schools get their special education funding from a combination of state and federal monies, not a county. There is a lot of money involved in these programs, and it is a system with a lot of options for students who need the help.

Catholic schools do not have the money in their budget for these kinds of medical issues. They are religious schools…not medical facilities. If a child needs more than a good, solid religious education…if they need specialized mental/physical health services…then parents need to investigate where those needs can be best served.

Where do you think the money should come from if you expect the Catholic schools to provide these services?

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

“Spreading the faith” would not seem to be served by taking away from all the other children in the class to see to the special needs of this dear suffering little girl who clearly needs specialized professional help beyond the capabilities of they typical over-stretched staff of a Catholic school. The kind of help needed by a 7-year old who has lost a parent calls for something beyond the professional training of an elementary school teacher.

 

[EasterJoy]

You were not there. If the family believes their case was handled improperly, encourage them to talk to their pastor and members of the school board. If that doesn’t work, ask the superintendent of Catholic schools for the diocese about the problem. Mostly, though, the family has to be open to the possibility that the school is not equipped to handle an emotional problem of the magnitude that this little girl is going through. They could be asking for something that is not fair to their own child, not fair to the child’s classmates, and not fair to the child’s teachers, because it is not fair to ask someone to do the impossible or to pretend that failure is just as satisfactory as success, as long as everyone means well and does their best.

Besides, if the little girl is crying all the time, is it possible that this school is the last place SHE wants to be? If her mother used to volunteer there all the time, does the place remind her too much of her mom? More to the point: What does she have to do in order to get her family to withdraw her from a school where she feels miserable?

As for “special needs” children, it has only been recently that private schools can get professional specialized help from the public schools. They do not have anything like the funding to provide that for themselves. It is only through public-private collaboration that a typical private school can competently educate a child who needs a specially-trained educator. It would be arrogance to pretend otherwise. Don’t criticize private schools that recognize that they cannot be the “best” at everything, which includes making themselves as financially affordable as possible, too.

 

[tafan]

I wish I had a dime for every time, throughout the 20-some years of being around Catholic schools, that I have been told a story by parents that sounds horrible. Sometimes to the extent that you cannot imagine another side to the story. There almost always is another side to the story.
I almost never get the least bit involved another families problem with the school unless I am positive I know the entire story. And that isn’t often, because least bit means that I do not go looking for the other side of the story. About the only exceptions that come to mind is when the reputation of a teacher or staff member is being maligned to the point that the school needs to know that.

 

[Mr_Lonely]

Would Jesus turn away a crying little girl who just lost her mother?

 

[Pax2u]

Would Jesus turn away a crying little girl who just lost her mother?

Oh please!

Jesus would make an appointment for the child at Catholic Family Services for some counseling.

 

[Mr_Lonely]

Please understand…I get what everyone is saying. In a perfect world, all Catholic Schools would have the funding and resources to help out any child with need. That goes for both those enrolled in their schools and just regular parishioners. I am not angry with the Catholic Schools, but rather disappointed that they were quick to say, “we can’t deal with this.” We are giving too many excuses for not helping. Perhaps I’m just too idealistic, but I view Catholic Schools as an extension of the parish, which in turn, is a part of the Holy Catholic Church whose mission is to spread the word for Christ.

Everyone so far assumed that what this child needed was special needs attention, but what if spiritual attention is what was needed? How many times have we seen circumstances of conventional medicine or treatment failing, only to be succeeded by successful spiritual healing.

I thank everyone for the insight and response. If you would be so kind as to include this child in your prayers, it would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Mr_Lonely]

Oh please!

Jesus would make an appointment for the child at Catholic Family Services for some counseling.

You make a good point. Why didn’t the school do this, or at least point the family towards this?

 

[Pax2u]

You make a good point. Why didn’t the school do this, or at least point the family towards this?

Mr Lonely, you really don’t know for sure what the school did…you have heard one side of a story, and we don’t know who gave you that much info. If you are concerned that no spiritual help was offered, perhaps you should make an an appointment with the school principal and ask?

Also, if the family members feel the child needs spiritual guidance, they should make an appointment with their pastor and see that he has a chance to talk to her…I’m sure he’d be happy to refer them to other resources if he feels she needs more than his guidance can give.

Of course I will say a prayer for this little girl and her family.

 

[Corki]

Would Jesus turn away a crying little girl who just lost her mother?

No, but neither would Jesus condone cutting other children out of the school so that the school could pay for special services for this one child when there are other ways for her to get the help she needs.

 

[Hockeygurl]

I don’t see how this child could be labeled for “special education”. Typically this type of education is reserved for those with hearing/sight/speech impediments, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and a variety of other permanent issues.

Yes, she does need some additional help, but whether she goes to a public or private school, neither are equipped to handle a situation like this. The child needs access to a mental health professional for grief counseling… this can be done on an outpatient basis with minimal absences from school… This way a plan could be formed of what the teachers/staff are to do when issues arise that would be minimally disruptive to the class.

Now, my question is why the Priest does not help collaborate this type of counselling with his ability to spiritually counsel the child? Moving her from an environment where she knows the teachers and the students would NOT be my recommendation… Think about it… your mom just died and now you have a new teacher and a bunch of kids that you don’t know in a new school? That is total BS… and in my professional opinion as a health care provider more detrimental than helpful and very liable to make her take a few steps backward.

 

[Pax2u]

I don’t see how this child could be labeled for “special education”. Typically this type of education is reserved for those with hearing/sight/speech impediments, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and a variety of other permanent issues.

.

She could qualify under the special education label of “Emotionally Impaired:”…it covers a multitude of issues. Also, a regular public school has trained counselors on staff to work with students who don’t qualify for special ed.

Anyway, this is all pretty moot, as we are hearing only one side of the story. I’m not going to criticize the school or parish priest when we have no idea what their side of this story is.

 

[12345678]

I don’t see how this child could be labeled for “special education”. Typically this type of education is reserved for those with hearing/sight/speech impediments, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and a variety of other permanent issues.

Yes, she does need some additional help, but whether she goes to a public or private school, neither are equipped to handle a situation like this. The child needs access to a mental health professional for grief counseling… this can be done on an outpatient basis with minimal absences from school… This way a plan could be formed of what the teachers/staff are to do when issues arise that would be minimally disruptive to the class.

Now, my question is why the Priest does not help collaborate this type of counselling with his ability to spiritually counsel the child? Moving her from an environment where she knows the teachers and the students would NOT be my recommendation… Think about it… your mom just died and now you have a new teacher and a bunch of kids that you don’t know in a new school? That is total BS… and in my professional opinion as a health care provider more detrimental than helpful and very liable to make her take a few steps backward.

I was thinking along those lines as well, I can’t imagine yet another big change in her life being helpful… I think maybe the school had good reasons (if she was crying all day, maybe they felt it was best for her to have some time off and them come back, or they just found it to be counterproductive to have her in school where no one was available to attend her needs)… but it is possible that the way they handled it wasn’t the best? We cannot tell from here, maybe they followed the protocol out there for situations like this. If you are close to the family, maybe you can offer to follow up on the issue with the school, pastor, and even superintendent/bishop as necessary.
It may very well be that everything was done as it should have, and maybe it wasn’t explained correctly, or maybe it was just the way in which it was done that made the family upset. There is no way for us to know, and so putting down Catholic schools, or even just putting down this Catholic school, isn’t going to help.
You may be able to help clear out what needs to be done for this child by helping the family communicate with the school and also help them seek the help the child may need.
A teacher possibly with 20+ other kids is not equipped to be able to give constant attention to a child that may need that attention. If the school did not have anyone that could help the child, then I understand why they reached out to the family.

 

[tafan]

Now, my question is why the Priest does not help collaborate this type of counselling with his ability to spiritually counsel the child? .

We know almost nothing about what really happened. Literally two sentences in the OP describe the story :

"A young girl’s (7) family, was recently told by the girl’s Catholic School that she can no longer attend because she is crying too much everyday. The girl’s mother recently died of cancer and she was having a hard time dealing.’

Along with

From I’ve been told by the family, there wasn’t even any suggestions for getting specialized help. It was just, she can’t come here anymore.

Now, my experience is the “from what I’ve been told by the family” is almost always hearsay. The family likely is giving only their side of the story, and then it is further whittled down by the next side. And who in the family? An aunt or uncle, or the father? If not the father, every step of the way, the story becomes more and more one-sided.

We should not assume the worse of the school or the pastor in question.

 

[Mr_Lonely]

We know almost nothing about what really happened. Literally two sentences in the OP describe the story :

"A young girl’s (7) family, was recently told by the girl’s Catholic School that she can no longer attend because she is crying too much everyday. The girl’s mother recently died of cancer and she was having a hard time dealing.’

Along with

Now, my experience is the “from what I’ve been told by the family” is almost always hearsay. The family likely is giving only their side of the story, and then it is further whittled down by the next side. And who in the family? An aunt or uncle, or the father? If not the father, every step of the way, the story becomes more and more one-sided.

We should not assume the worse of the school or the pastor in question.

You’re right. We don’t know the whole story. Even based on what was told to me is one side. My concern is that this appears to be a trend now with Catholic Schools. Even in situations where I was intimately involved or had direct knowledge from both sides. I use to say, “I wish we can do more.” until one day I asked, “Why aren’t we doing more?”