Catholic Wedding with Protestant Guests/Family

  • Thread starter Thread starter cbirtell
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
somecanadian said:
I learn new things every minute!!! My sister would have foregone public baptism if that’s the case. And knowing this I will definitely ask for a private baptism as I HATE being the center of attention (causes major anxiety).
Click to expand...
Note: However, I do THINK a pastor can say no to a baptism outside of Mass. I believe the option is technically his, not yours (unless he grants you that option).

Also, this option MIGHT be one that the Bishop can place restrictions/regulations around.

God Bless
 
Last edited:
Eh, iirc Any baptism with the trinitarian formula is valid.
phil19034 said:
Note: However, I do THINK a pastor can say no to a baptism outside of Mass. I believe the option is technically his, not yours (unless he grants you that option).
Click to expand...
Since a valid baptism can be ministered by anyone baptised, using the correct words, I have no idea what you’re saying. Above all you don’t need mass for a valid baptism.
 
Ya…good point. I don’t think I’ve been to a baptism that occurred during Mass…they’ve all been after. Last one we were invited to explicitly said that baptism is at 11:45 with lunch to follow. Mass started at 10:30 for anyone who wanted to attend with the family.
 
I know some pastors have felt very strongly that baptisms should be done as part of a regular Mass, so everyone in the community can share in welcoming the new members. Often they will have a certain Mass, like the noon Mass one Sunday per month, where babies are routinely baptized.

I’ve always been taught that post-Vatican II, the shared community aspect was a big reason for doing all of these sacraments - baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, marriage etc - at a public Mass. I will admit that when I was younger, I often thought it was a bit dull or a bother to have to sit through the baptism or First Communion of someone in my parish who was a total stranger to me and my family, but I understand why it is done.
 
You guys are lucky! My last two godchildren were baptized during summer and it was SO HOT that the mother AND myself nearly fainted. The mother had to actually leave the ceremony because she got sick.

All of that could be alleviated if it was done privately at a time outside the Mass (which is done at the hottest time of day).
 
I do have to say that at my wife and kids’ church first communion was moved from the 10:00 am normal Sunday Mass to 11:30. Outside of the 1st communicants and their family people weren’t showing up because they didn’t want to sit through it. This church is struggling with attendance as it is…
 
I think you can get a plenary indulgence for attending a First Communion. I presume one would have to stay for the whole Mass, so it’s not like the Church isn’t trying to offer an incentive 🙂
 
A/C would be divine. I often think it would be nice to win the lottery and pay for the church to have it installed. Haha. As it stands I often have to leave Mass early because I’m a fainter and I get WAY too overheated.
 
Look on the bright side, you have universal health so you still have us beat 🙂
 
Like the blessing in communion line I think baptism and first communion outside of mass is also a regional thing. I hadn’t even heard of baptism during regular mass until I came on here.

Also in my experience most non-Catholic Christian churches have an open communion so I could see how someone could make a genuine mistake at mass.

OP you know what’s the norm where you are from, you need to take it into consideration when deciding how to negotiate these Catholic events with your family.
 
At my mom’s funeral the priest made that very announcement and I can say there were some very unhappy people.
 
To most people it is just a wafer, so I don’t exactly understand why they would be so unhappy.
 
Last edited:
cbirtell said:
Our Priest said he would do a private communion for us.
Click to expand...
cbirtell said:
But a non mass wedding is out of the question to my fiancé.
Click to expand...
I don’t understand how you can have a public wedding mass, with a private communion. They are two separate options.

For a mass, the Body and Blood is consumed shortly after the consecration. I can’t imagine a priest consecrating Holy Communion, partaking himself, then not sharing it, instead removing it immediately to the tabernacle. The action is incomplete as “communion.”

For the private communion mentioned, your priest must mean he will give it to you and your new husband, perhaps in the sacristy, following your non mass wedding.

You need to talk to your priest to find the best solution to your situation. I pray you will find understanding between your families.
 
You would be offended if you attended a wedding of a Catholic friend and you weren’t allowed to receive the Eucharist because you weren’t Catholic? That seems a little messed up to me. We had a full Mass at our wedding, even though not many members of my family are Catholic or are still practicing. Everyone who came knew I was Catholic and knew it would be a Catholic wedding. No one was offended that there wasn’t an “open communion”. If my parents were offended, as the OP is concerned hers will be, I would explain that we decided to celebrate the Eucharist because it was important to us that we always keep the Holy Spirit as the driving force in our marriage. The wedding isn’t just a family get together, it’s about a sacrament between two people and God. On the other hand, I think just having the bride and groom receive is a perfectly acceptable compromise and given the fact that not everyone there is Catholic, I can’t imagine any Catholic guest feeling slighted. I certainly wouldn’t.
 
SeriousQuestion said:
To most people it is just a wafer, so I don’t exactly understand.
Click to expand...
Even if they don’t see it in the same way as Catholics doesn’t mean they don’t put any meaning behind the bread and wine. It’s a way to honor their savior, even if they don’t think it’s literal body and blood. On top of that, just the idea of participating in the ceremony to celebrate the new union has importance. To more or less divide the attendees into participants and non-participants, to important and not-as-important, can rub people the wrong way. Even for those that believe the Church’s practice on the sacrament for non-Catholics it doesn’t take a great deal of empathy to see why it’s bound to ruffle a few feathers.
 
I understand the need for the priest to make clear upfront why they do what they do in this matter. No, my initial post was more about when you said, " I have heard this done and it went well for all those in attendance." I just wanted to point out that at least some of the time it won’t go down well for those in attendance.
 
Since your dh feels strongly about it, if it were me I would just explain to my family that the Catholic Church has closed communion, I would explain the real presence etc to explain why the church believes as she does. And you know, the family probably won’t even know that it was a choice to have it at the wedding or not. If they are uninformed with regards to Catholicism they may just assume that a Catholic Church wedding was always a mass with communion. The comments with regards to this issue ruining friendships and estranging family are unreal to me. It’s not like the bride and groom are inventing the closed communion, it’s just a fact of the Church. I am a convert myself and I know that if someone had explained the real presence and the beliefs behind the closed communion to me back before I had any knowledge of Catholicism, then I would have been ok with it, no problem. It seems like there would be a major lack of respect for an institution you don’t belong to, to still feel entitled to something after having the reasons why explained…
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top