Catholic Wedding with Protestant Guests/Family

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I agree. Your family may be OK with it and if so then there should be no issue with your fiance’s family receiving Holy Communion. I wonder since he seemed OK with it initially if his family has expressed offense at not being able to receive Holy Communion if offered.
 
Exactly. If no one explains it, how can they be expected to know, in order to respect, the beliefs of others. When a guest in another’s home or country I try to be sensitive to their customs.
 
Ya…I said that upthread too. It sounds like someone in his family has been in his ear.
 
I don’t want to derail OPs thread, so if you’re interested in actually hearing why non-Catholics may be “offended” or feel “unwelcome” because they aren’t welcome at your table I’d be happy to explain it via PM.

Just throwing out there…calling communion “just a wafer” isn’t the best place to start.
 
I’m sure there have been plenty of good advice. If this is not said already, I just want to opine that you perhaps has the wrong attitude about Catholic mass, when you want it to be an exclusively albeit special moment for both of you.

The mass in never ‘private’ in the sense that it is for everybody including the angels and the saints.

By having a wedding mass you can be assured that it will be indeed a special moment for both of you because you will make that marriage vow in the presence of His most Blessed Sacrament, where the sacrifice of the Lamb is enacted.

Why don’t you think of it as being witnessed by the multitude of people and that they shared in the feast of the banquet of the Lord?

You would have a reception perhaps later on where you invite people for your wedding feast. Would not you think it is most special and holy that your guests are invited to your wedding in the holy banquet of the Lord (mass) and that they are welcome to this feast to receive the Lord?

Please, giving your guests the opportunity to receive the Lord in Communion on account of your wedding is really a very special moment and occasion for you.

God bless.
 
My cousin and her husband were married in a Mass. He was a convert, she was a cradle Catholic. They both acted as EMHCs for their own wedding. Might this be an option?
 
I don’t think this is an issue of him putting his family’s needs ahead of your family’s needs.

As Catholics, you should both very much want to have the whole Mass said. The more times Mass is celebrated on Earth, the better for all people. Simply communicate a bit more with your side of the family after talking a bit more to the priest.

Mass is almost always public. I have been to a Mass in somebody’s basement once, and it was very special.
 
No judgment in what you ultimately decide, I just thought I’d share my own thoughts on Eucharist at weddings.

I converted to Catholicism just before my husband I were married. I believed in the Real Presence, but I also had friends and family that were…problematic. Several protestant “friends” at the time and my family made it perfectly clear to me, when I explained the etiquette at a Catholic Mass, that they intended to receive no matter what. When I asked them not to out of consideration and respect for, if not my religious beliefs, than me on my wedding day, they outright refused. I wasn’t ready to sever relationships with these people yet, and disinviting them to my wedding would certainly have done that (though the relationships did end over time…) so I made a decision that to this day I deeply and sorely regret - my husband and I agreed not to have a full Mass.

I couldn’t bear the thought of people using our wedding Mass as a chance to profane Jesus for their own pride. I also couldn’t bear the thought of creating a situation where Jesus was withheld from the believing Catholics in his family while some people received.

If I had it to do all over again, especially now knowing how precious Eucharist is, I would have done it. I would have had a full Mass and gone over with the priest what several guests intended to do and let him help me figure it out. Actually, if I had it to do all over again I would have straight up disinvited those people and realized that people (be they family or friends) who are so abusive of someone that they can’t do something as simple as STAY IN THEIR SEAT is NOT someone you really want to have around in any kind of close relationship.
 
Only you and him receiving communion is not a bad idea if as you say the priest thinks it is a fine idea. It also reduces the chance of anyone not in a state to receive from doing so which may sully the sacrifice being offered for your wedding.
 
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Rarely do people invite total strangers to their wedding (most of us are not super famous or of some high ranking Royalty where we don’t get to decide who comes to our wedding).

In the time between the day we decide to get married and the wedding, we talk to the people we will invite, our family and friends, and we explain the Catholic belief WRT Communion. Simple. Popping it on them in the middle of the Mass is a bit thoughtless.
 
TBH…I don’t think the OP is worried about confusion.

I think she’s worried about alienating her family at her wedding by participating in something with his family while her family can’t. This was a large reason why we did not have a full mass. We didn’t want to split the church in half by participants vs. non-participants… just my $0.02.
 
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Ya…I was just say’n that they’re having a hard enough time with attendance as it is now (I think both between the priest and people leaving because of family faith formation). Knowing that so many people skip 1st communion weekend I think they split it to at least get some people to stick around. IDK though, just our thought on it. They had never added a 1st communion mass before.
 
It was always explained to me that communion was a symbol of unity which is why it’s so offensive when they are told they can’t participate because to them it’s translated as : We don’t see you as part of us.

Doubly offensive when you’re dealing with actual flesh and blood family.
 
somecanadian said:
It was always explained to me that communion was a symbol of unity which is why it’s so offensive when they are told they can’t participate because to them it’s translated as : We don’t see you as part of us.

Doubly offensive when you’re dealing with actual flesh and blood family.
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Yep…pretty much. I’d say “offensive” may be a bit strong…but I’d say that’s the just of it.

I’ve always compared it to being invited over to my in-laws for Easter (15 Catholics and 3 NC’s) and being told “please come, everyone in the family is welcome” then at the time for Easter dinner the 15 Catholics go to eat while the 3 of us are asked to stay in the livingroom until they’re done.

I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but that “can be” why some NC’s (specifically the OP’s family) could feel put off or unwelcome at their daughter’s wedding. I can see the awkwardness OP is trying to avoid.
 
It’s absolutely why I chose not to have Mass at my wedding. I have been Protestant. I knew exactly how such a thing would be received and I didn’t think Jesus had any desire to cause that kind of rift. My mother has been to my nephew and nieces baptisms and every time she was deeply offended and upset that she was not welcome to receive the Eucharist. She felt left out and like not part of the family. I just imagined that x100 people. Especially as 90% of our wedding guests had never been inside a Catholic Church before. We had 10 Catholics out of a crowd of 135 people.

I don’t think Jesus minded that we decided not to receive Eucharist in that situation and our priest agreed quite firmly with us that it was best to forego Eucharist.

But I will say that the wedding went off beautifully and all the feedback I’ve heard through the grapevine is that everyone was touched by the ceremony despite the lack of Eucharist. I really think this opened the door for them to, in future, enter a Catholic Church again so I’m very happy with how it went.

Ultimately it isn’t always just about THAT moment but about the greater good in future and each family/situation will be different so OP needs to decide what will be best for HER family and HER situation.
 
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