Catholics and adultery and lying

  • Thread starter Thread starter Rozellelily
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@Rozellelily I would like you to make a list of things which in case of infidelity (which shouldn’t happen though) and the consequences of revealing then and a separate list while prudently abstain from divulging them, and find for yourself which is the greater good.

Finally I hope you marry a faithful Catholic, for that you need to pray a lot ,Jesus will show mercy on you ,who loves you so much God Bless

Luke 1:37 For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38 Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

Sirach 26:23 A godless wife is given as a portion to a lawless man,
but a pious wife is given to the man who fears the Lord.

Jude 20 But you, beloved, build yourselves up on your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; 21 keep yourselves in the love of God; look forward to the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. 22 And have mercy on some who are wavering; 23 save others by snatching them out of the fire; and have mercy on still others with fear, hating even the tunic defiled by their bodies.
 
I can’t read this whole thread, but…

If someone is not prepared to lie to their spouse point-blank, if asked, then one should not withhold information about cheating on them – it would just be prolonging pain. If one is prepared to lie, that raises other moral questions, which I don’t feel qualified to handle. It seems awfully questionable to say that your spouse does not have the right to the truth about whether you have been faithful to them.
 
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@Rozellelily.
Oh, politicians can hardly be role models for Christian righteousness. Not all politicians of course. But there are professions that make following God more difficult. That’s why you have monks, religious, hermits or secular people who forgo worldly things.

Jesus said the road to salvation is narrow and difficult. But nothing is impossible with God if we want to change and come before Him.

God’s grace, yes, do change people and their lives, as I said. It’s a matter of whether people want or not; it’s a decision.

A person of God will look into inner beauty and purity, not outside appearance. They would be faithful to their promise - marriage vow. Therefore adultery does not arise.

On the other hand, without God then we would follow our human desire.

Christian love is called agape - not just physical attraction but self-sacrificing for the good of others.

So, to answer your question, it depends on where you are. Are you following God or your own human desire and thinking? (The you here is general you, not you) .
 
To marry a Catholic is not a guarantee that you will have the best chance of meeting a faithful man, that you are not deceived. Everything is possible. An agnostic or atheist can have a natural gift for fidelity, and it can happen that a Catholic who does not have the gift of fidelity, finally gets it after several years of prayer, and during all this time he can cheat , and you have to bear it.
It is true that some people say that if you meet a Catholic who really loves God, he will be faithful … St Peter really loved Jesus but he has denied Jesus three times. The spirit is ardent but the flesh is weak.
And a Catholic who perfectly loves God (in the sense of perfection possible in this world) does not even need to marry, he will certainly give himself body and soul to Jesus who is his only love.
 
My solid advice is to follow what your priest tells you in confession when you confess adultery. From conversation with many priests over the years, they most often advice against telling your spouse unless there is an incurable STD or a pregnancy. I did not make it up, and if you can interact with a number of priests you will find that this is not an uncommon piece of advice.
 
So how do you live with the guilt then? The fear of the future? That’s what I can’t cope with.
 
You talk to your pastor, first and foremost.

You find a good, solid CATHOLIC counselor. While generic Christian counselors may be well and good, they are not going to understand the sacramental nature of Catholic marriage (assuming you are in a sacramental marriage).

I linked you to two places that do distance counseling.

You follow the advice of your priest and your Catholic counselor. They will know your precise details, your personality and how you can move forward. They may advise you to tell, and will assist you in doing it the right way (blurting it out on a random Thursday afternoon is not likely going to be the advised situation).

On the other hand, if they help you determine that the reveal will do more harm than good, it may be that the guilt simply becomes your penance.

You have a unique situation as you stated that the other person has threatened to “ruin you”. That is a very specific threat and you must have professional help in dealing with it. In today’s climate, if this is a co-worker (God forbid she is your subordinate at work) you are wise to speak with an attorney. They will advise you if or how you reveal this to your boss.
 
Nobody says it is a guarantee that a Catholic will not commit adultery. Rozellelily was giving an extreme example, I was just addressing that post.

Since we are at it, here is the difference:

A good believing and practicing Catholic husband will know exactly what marriage entails for him, as being explained.

He, however, is still a human being, and therefore has human weaknesses. He will be tempted, he will fall but because of the grace of God, Church and Sacraments, everytime he falls, he will rise again, as along as he keeps to the faith.

There are sins that are difficult to overcome, like habitual sins (masturbation, maybe), and probably a person will not overcome them but when they commit the sin, they know it is wrong, should confess them and try not to sin again.

Some sins are more straightfowards and therefore easier to overcome as it involve decision rather than the weakness of the flesh. You can consider adultery to be under that category. Of course, no two situations are the same, but if a husband knows that adultery is not part of a Catholic marriage, it will become a strong deterrence for him not to commit it, as it is sin against God, not just against his wife.

But should he fall, he has to come before God and take the ardious process of repentance and restoring his marriage that has been damaged by his infidelity. Sincere repentance will always receive the mercy and forgiveness of God, where He will come in, intervene into the marraige, to restore and heal it and the couple.
 
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Reuben_J said:
Some sins are more straightfowards and therefore easier to overcome as it involve decision rather than the weakness of the flesh. You can consider adultery to be under that category
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I am not sure, from my point of view adultery is more concerned with passion than with a simple decision of the will. It is the passion that attracts us to a woman who pleases us, to a woman who attracts us by her physical.
Passion is to the will, what the ignorance is to the intelligence, it is a very great obstacle to accomplish the will as ignorance is a great obstacle to know the truth, passion and ignorance can to be defeated certainly, but it is not always easy. Passion stifles all that could excite the will to do good or to avoid evil: We are so excited by the joy we have in making love with the woman we love, that we do not see any more the offense we make to God, we no longer see hell, we no longer see the diseases we can catch, we no longer see the harm we could do to our wife etc.
 
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Do they not have a duty to their families to stay alive? I really wouldn’t lose any sleep if i had to lie to a member of ISIS about anything really. ISIS is overwhelmingly staffed by mercenaries, perhaps they would also rather ‘you’ lied to them.
 
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