L
liturgy96
Guest
I think you need to see a psychologist for the symptoms that sound very much like a panic attack. Maybe your habit is also an obsessive-comulsive disorder psychologists can help with?
- Status
A
adamhovey1988
Guest
Know what I read? It’s about “ME”!
My friend, your post seems to break the first commandment. Were I you, I would go to confession. God loves you.
M
Mark86
Guest
Maybe I should just live beside a confessional. hehe
It seems about the only thing I do is go to confession. That’s my social life. The confessional line. That’s what I do in my free time. Sit in line for confession… confession, confession, confession… day after day… for the same sin, day after day. Year after year. And yet never being able to take communion, week after week, month after month.
I’m not going to stop going to confession, and I’m not going to give up the struggle, BUT… I still kind of want to maybe do something else with my time, like you know, meet people… volunteer… maybe even start a family… (god willing)…etc. As it stands, I can’t do much of that because I’m in line for confession… heck I can’t even attend mass most days because I have to go to confession instead (mass and confession happen simultaneously at the shrine).
I’m going to confession tomorrow… this will be the fourth time in a week. I’m not Mr. Super-saint… “I’m Mark, and I’m a sex addict”… just doing what I have to do.
J
JRS_88
Guest
I guess you didn’t read the part of my post that says that if someone is addicted to, or has formed an ingrained habit, that while a grave sin, the masturbation in these cases might not rise to the level of a mortal sin (as the Roman rite describes) and you would be able to go to communion. This is not a license to sin though.
If you had a regular confessor, he would be able to help you, and he would be able to discern where your culpability is in regards to the masturbation.
Will someone else please confirm or correct what I’m saying? I hope someone will.
Lastly, if you haven’t seen a doctor or therapist about your anxiety/depression/panic, then now is the time to consider doing so.
M
Mark86
Guest
Okay, I will ask my spiritual director if I can have a regular confessor as well. He’s a lay franciscan and he’s awesome.
T
Teabag
Guest
How hard was it for Jesus when he was being scourged, punched, spat at, kicked, beaten…Nailed to a wooden cross!!? He still prayed!!! FOR US!!
God will help but you have to help yourself!! What is the only ‘Weapon’ we have? ‘PRAYER’.
Nothing else will help but deep prayer to God. Nobody else can save us from our sins and thoughts. IT IS VERY HARD. I know. I am fighting things myself.
Please God, help Mark on his journey. Guide him towards you. Let him have peace in his mind and life. Show him your Love and Mercy.
M
Mark86
Guest
I can’t believe I didn’t consider that. Thanks for your patience.
C
CuriousMike
Guest
Mark:
I don’t want this to come off the wrong way, but it sounds as though your work is putting a lot of strain on you (emotional or otherwise) that is finding its way out in habits and anxiety.
(No, I’m not a doctor. But it sounds like work is burdening you, and your battle with impurity is almost an “outlet”).
One of our Parish Priests once suggested to me in the confessional to search deeper into my soul and try to find things that are causing these desires to well up. He suggested anger, despair and anxiety are just some reasons why we might be tempted into this situation.
Temptations of these sort are almost always paralysing and very difficult to evade. I think remembering Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross, or the Agony in the Garden is a very powerful motivator for my situation.
However, I understand that with temptation, that “Just once more… You can always go to confession” idea always springs to mind.
Remember as well that prayer should be from the heart. You can petition God through Jesus (or in any of the other acceptable ways) through your own cries.
Don’t try and hide your problem. The ‘joy’ even in these worst times is something that comes from KNOWING and ACCEPTING that ‘everyone upstairs’ has got your back.
Sincerely crying out to the Lord, or a particular Saint you like, Mary (etc) in times of trouble can be enough to carry your through.
Also ask yourself: Why do you do this battle?
I don’t think your situation is as dire as you might think. Sure, you fall down. But remember, God is always ready to forgive us because of our Human condition.
The BIG thing is that you’re always ready to go straight back to God and beg for forgiveness and another chance. You’re also trying in prayer to get past these issues.
Now, when you aren’t tempted - You can pray lots and feel happy with God. But remember God in times of temptation. Maybe if you kept a Rosary on you, wore a Crucifix and Miraculous Medal or kept statues or images of Jesus around your house just to remind you of your duty.
It seems as though you are ready to acknowledge your faults and persist in faith. Thats a great part of the battle won already! The next part is to consider where you fit in God’s big picture, and not count yourself as some individual in the dark, but someone that is part of the Body Of Christ, and someone who can work for good.*
*I don’t know where that thought came from. For a moment, I thought, “He sounds very concerned with his own affairs,” and rightly so, however I think there is a point where it becomes about “me,” and doing lip service, rather than trying every means possible to illicit change.
Please consider seeking mental therapy as well. I think your habit may be a manifestation of something locked up deep down that needs to be found and weeded out.
As others have said, this Cross could be a way you find ways to rekindle your faith or the faith of another person.
My final suggestion: Get to a Daily Mass if at all possible. Offer your Communion for these issues and Offer your life with the Sacrifice on the Altar.
Also - Don’t despair/obsess over one part of your personality that is causing trouble. Pray for growth as a whole. I think if you focus in on one thing, it constantly invades your thoughts. You are so scared of sinning and think about it so much that eventually it happens.
Hope this jumble of thoughts works or helps in some way!
Keep Praying and STAY STRONG in your faith. It sounds like you are making an earnest effort already.
I don’t want this to come off the wrong way, but it sounds as though your work is putting a lot of strain on you (emotional or otherwise) that is finding its way out in habits and anxiety.
(No, I’m not a doctor. But it sounds like work is burdening you, and your battle with impurity is almost an “outlet”).
One of our Parish Priests once suggested to me in the confessional to search deeper into my soul and try to find things that are causing these desires to well up. He suggested anger, despair and anxiety are just some reasons why we might be tempted into this situation.
Temptations of these sort are almost always paralysing and very difficult to evade. I think remembering Jesus’ sacrifice on the Cross, or the Agony in the Garden is a very powerful motivator for my situation.
However, I understand that with temptation, that “Just once more… You can always go to confession” idea always springs to mind.
Remember as well that prayer should be from the heart. You can petition God through Jesus (or in any of the other acceptable ways) through your own cries.
Don’t try and hide your problem. The ‘joy’ even in these worst times is something that comes from KNOWING and ACCEPTING that ‘everyone upstairs’ has got your back.
Sincerely crying out to the Lord, or a particular Saint you like, Mary (etc) in times of trouble can be enough to carry your through.
Also ask yourself: Why do you do this battle?
I don’t think your situation is as dire as you might think. Sure, you fall down. But remember, God is always ready to forgive us because of our Human condition.
The BIG thing is that you’re always ready to go straight back to God and beg for forgiveness and another chance. You’re also trying in prayer to get past these issues.
Now, when you aren’t tempted - You can pray lots and feel happy with God. But remember God in times of temptation. Maybe if you kept a Rosary on you, wore a Crucifix and Miraculous Medal or kept statues or images of Jesus around your house just to remind you of your duty.
It seems as though you are ready to acknowledge your faults and persist in faith. Thats a great part of the battle won already! The next part is to consider where you fit in God’s big picture, and not count yourself as some individual in the dark, but someone that is part of the Body Of Christ, and someone who can work for good.*
*I don’t know where that thought came from. For a moment, I thought, “He sounds very concerned with his own affairs,” and rightly so, however I think there is a point where it becomes about “me,” and doing lip service, rather than trying every means possible to illicit change.
Please consider seeking mental therapy as well. I think your habit may be a manifestation of something locked up deep down that needs to be found and weeded out.
As others have said, this Cross could be a way you find ways to rekindle your faith or the faith of another person.
My final suggestion: Get to a Daily Mass if at all possible. Offer your Communion for these issues and Offer your life with the Sacrifice on the Altar.
Also - Don’t despair/obsess over one part of your personality that is causing trouble. Pray for growth as a whole. I think if you focus in on one thing, it constantly invades your thoughts. You are so scared of sinning and think about it so much that eventually it happens.
Hope this jumble of thoughts works or helps in some way!
Keep Praying and STAY STRONG in your faith. It sounds like you are making an earnest effort already.
C
ccmcmg
Guest
Hi,
I have read over the other responses, and there are some amazing answers there; I will make my opinions short. I have some of my own issues that I struggle with, and this is what has helped me tremendously. But none of these would have helped, or at least to this extent, if I hadn’t asked Jesus to help me, and to give me strength. I still fall and sin. But I’ve been blessed using these things, to sin less and less all the time, and grow deeper in God, in Christ’s Love and Mercy.
Let me tell you, we are ALL called to chastity, even if it’s not in celibacy. We are all to live chastely in our state of life.
Also, when facing temptation, I try to distract myself. Sometimes, it’s using things like Facebook or playing cards on my phone; other times, it’s praying to St. Michael or St. Augustine (he definitely should be on your list; he was QUITE the heathen sinner).
I still fall. I still sin. I ask God’s Mercy and Forgiveness even before getting to Confession. I don’t want to remain in sin any longer than possible, but sometimes Confession isn’t available that same day.
Please keep me in your prayers, as addressing this, and upcoming weeks, are difficult for me. Whenever I address this directly like this, I am faced with more temptations. Additional prayers are forthcoming!
I have read over the other responses, and there are some amazing answers there; I will make my opinions short. I have some of my own issues that I struggle with, and this is what has helped me tremendously. But none of these would have helped, or at least to this extent, if I hadn’t asked Jesus to help me, and to give me strength. I still fall and sin. But I’ve been blessed using these things, to sin less and less all the time, and grow deeper in God, in Christ’s Love and Mercy.
Let me tell you, we are ALL called to chastity, even if it’s not in celibacy. We are all to live chastely in our state of life.
- A Catholic counselor. Google ‘Catholic Therapist’ and find one in your area. Here is the site I used, and it’s literally been a God send. catholictherapists.com
- Regular confession. I then ‘accidentally’ went face to face with a priest, which was impossible for me to imagine; he’d already seen me when he waved me to his confessional that just opened while I was in a long line. I decided to accept it as God’s Will if that’s how it worked out. Now, he’s my preferred confessor, and to go face to face. He has even invited me to make an appointment if I’d rather. Sometimes God has to send a dash of cold water onto me, or wave it in front of my face, to accept His Will, though!
- Prayer, which I use in both of the above situations.
- Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
- Avoiding situations/songs/TV/books (that can seem rather innocuous until you read them) that cause me to ponder sinning.
Also, when facing temptation, I try to distract myself. Sometimes, it’s using things like Facebook or playing cards on my phone; other times, it’s praying to St. Michael or St. Augustine (he definitely should be on your list; he was QUITE the heathen sinner).
I still fall. I still sin. I ask God’s Mercy and Forgiveness even before getting to Confession. I don’t want to remain in sin any longer than possible, but sometimes Confession isn’t available that same day.
Please keep me in your prayers, as addressing this, and upcoming weeks, are difficult for me. Whenever I address this directly like this, I am faced with more temptations. Additional prayers are forthcoming!
M
Mark86
Guest
Something I do every day of my life, many times a day.
This is kind of a moot point. The fact of the matter is, my state of life IS requring absolute celibacy for me. There’s no difference for me right now between “chastity” and “celibacy”… me being chaste right now requires that I be absolutely, totally, 100% celibate, so let’s just call it what it is… celibacy. The act of not having a sex drive. Period. Oh if only God made me an angel, then I wouldn’t have this drive… and every day I wouldn’t have to pray to have it removed from me… I abhor it. Like the tree of knowledge in the garden of eden, I have a sex drive only so that I may continuously have something to choose against, choose against, choose against… an antagonist… a desire that haunts me and hates me… a desire that only tortures me… let it go. I wish I could just punch myself in the gonads so hard that they would never function again… then I could get on with my life apart from them as the celibate that I’m required to be by God.
Please god, take away my desires!
Every night I pray this to St. Jude. May God have mercy and destroy this desire so that I can be chaste. Please God almighty, let me be chaste… St. Augustine pray for me… that I have no passion, that I not be tormented by desires any longer… let God just incinerate my gonads for good…THEN I will finally be as celibate as I’m required to be, and then I’ll be happy too, because I simply won’t have these desires any longer. Oh bliss! To be free for God alone! Oh bliss to be free from all lower passion completely! Let it be so. Let it be so. When sexual desire is DEAD, only then I shall be chaste, and happy in God, eternally. Amen.
I don’t want a life free from misery… life is a cross, I know. All I want is to live by God’s law… to NOT desire flesh. That’s all. I just want to do what is good. I’m not looking to get out of having to carry the cross… just to get out of going to HELL every day of my life… that’s all. I just want to live a decent and CHASTE life while I’m carrying that cross… I simply don’t want to feel these horrible, disgusting, evil, wretched, sad, misarable, soul-crushing “feelings” any more. Let my life be nothing but deference to the LAW. Period. No distraction! Let human beauty DIE as the “dust” that it is in the face of the almighty! God let it be so! You have ordained my celibacy, my avoidance of all flesh… now HELP ME avoid it, that I may have you alone! Save me from this wretched flesh.
God take away my desires so that I may be a chaste angel. This body of sinful desire is of no use to your kingdom. It is bound for hell. It is dead in sin. Raise it up, yes… but purge it of its desire, so that it will never distract itself again with vanities like “sexual desire.” Let those feelings DIE.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
C
ccmcmg
Guest
We are created in His Image. He created our sex drives. He created us. Not only that, He knows each and every one of our struggles, including this one. He knows us better even than we do. I personally am probably harder on myself than I should be, but thankfully, not near as much as God should be…and isn’t.
Yes, I do believe the challenges of living chastely as either a single or otherwise celibate state of life, can be more difficult, or at the least, a different difficulty than being married while remaining chaste and holy in your marriage and love for your spouse.
Just remember, it isn’t easy. We can’t change that. Maybe don’t be quite so hard on yourself; don’t ‘abhor’ any part of yourself, or hate your natural desires. Acting on them might not be allowed, but realizing that it’s a created and intended part of you might help. And the glory of overcoming that challenge to be un-chaste, can result with great joy when you succeed that day.
Please consider, not just for reasons due to trying to remain chaste, all 5 of my recommendations, and those of others, especially a Catholic therapist. There is more than just this struggle going on in your life, it seems.
God bless and keep you.
C
ccmcmg
Guest
I wrote this on another thread, and I think it also might apply here. I’ll let you know how the book goes after I get through it. It might help you, too.
T
Teabag
Guest
This is your cross in life to carry. How heavy it is depends on you!
You have to carry your cross like Jesus carried his. He knew he couldn’t just throw it off! No! He prayed knowing it was his to carry.
You must think of Jesus suffering when you get your cross appearing! Put Jesus in place of your thoughts etc.
Bring Jesus on the cross or carrying the cross to the front of your mind at that moment and pray for mercy. Tell Jesus how much you love Him and need Him.
God bless you
You have to carry your cross like Jesus carried his. He knew he couldn’t just throw it off! No! He prayed knowing it was his to carry.
You must think of Jesus suffering when you get your cross appearing! Put Jesus in place of your thoughts etc.
Bring Jesus on the cross or carrying the cross to the front of your mind at that moment and pray for mercy. Tell Jesus how much you love Him and need Him.
God bless you
M
Mark86
Guest
I do hate these natural desires. Because why should I not? The church’s teaching on mortal sin basically means that I’m going to HELL every time these desires stir up inside of me. Why? Because there’s no non-sinful outlet for them and you can only repress them for so long before they explode on you. Either way, sin is the result of having them. Can you blame me for wanting them gone? Can you blame me for hating this “sin factory” of sexual desire, the one desire that ONLY leads to sin? Aren’t we supposed to hate sin? Well if there’s a part of me that acts like a sin factory, producing sin, should I not also hate it? People often bring up “anger” or “gluttony” as being comparable sins of the flesh that people struggle with… the problem with the analogy is that there is such a thing as “righteous anger”… and you are permitted to eat food when you’re hungry… so there’s a “righteous” aspect of consumption. There is NO “righteous lust”… meaning, there’s nothing to do with the desire but just repress it and repress it, year after year, with no end in sight. I’m not getting married any time soon… I mean, look at me… who would marry this?
Let me just be honest, back when I read the Catechism, this was the hardest part for me to get through. I was literally in tears of deep and profound sorrow knowing that if I became catholic I’d never again be allowed to experience or enjoy my god-given sexual drive again, that I would have to look on it as something to repress and turn away from and oppose at every turn… I felt a deep sadness in the pit of my heart because it’s part of what I am! It’s like saying “you love Jesus right? Okay, chop your arms off!” “but they are a special part of me.” “If you love Jesus, you’ll chop off your arms…” It’s like being bullied into giving up your lunch money.
That day I just sat on the patio with my catechism and “wept bitterly” into the sunset, feeling like I’d never again be able to say I loved myself… because how can you say you love yourself when you’re being told to essentially BURY and kill off something good that is inside you that just wants to be expressed. I’m not saying I need sin to be human… no… but I need a sex drive to be human… but unfortunately, that part doesn’t get something to do in God’s kingdom. It just gets hurt and crippled and thrown away. There’s no righteous expression of it. I’m not saying that “I am my sex drive”… of course not, I’m much more… but telling me to cast this crucial part of me aside and pretend it doesn’t exist is just utterly depressing to me, and makes me feel like the rest of me is just as worthless.
When I was explaining to a non-christian friend of mine, trying to evangelize them, about how Christianity has comforted me in my sexual addiction, this friend of mine said, sympathetically, “well, it seems like Christianity is helping you with this problem, but it also had a big part in CAUSING the problem.” at the time, I took offense to that, but you know, he had a point.
The religion denies me access to part of my humanity, which it claims is somehow still good, makes me feel guilty and shamelful every time I try to express these desires in ANY way… and then offers me relief from the guilt and shame that it imposed on me by saying “carry the cross of Jesus.” I agree, the cross is s great mental image of suffering and self-worth and a motivator… but like St. Paul, I feel like “knowledge of the law only brought me death.” only here there is no righteous equivalent. All this desire does is bring death and despair to me.
Why should I love or appreciate something that brings death and despair to me, and even worse, causes me separation from god… not just in my actions with it, but also in my heart… why should I love something that makes me hate myself…?
You guys want to talk about prayer? I lay in bed last night pounding my chest to point of bruising myself, begging god with tears and fists of rage: “Jesus let me be chaste. (whack) Jesus let me be chaste. (whack) Jesus let me be chaste…(whack)…” I don’t care how much pain I have to cause myself… if it results in me not submitting to these desires, I’ll endure it… I’ll beat my body to a bloody pulp if I have to!
Show me one place in the gospel where Jesus felt a holy and yet still sexual attraction to someone? He was human, was he not? He must have felt sexual desire without sin. We all know the story of how he acted “angry” in a righteous way (turning tables)… show me where in the gospel he put his natural sex drive to a HOLY use.
Trick question. It’s not in there.
P
Polluted
Guest
Trust me on this OP you are not alone. I have struggled with this issue and always crumble. Masturbating a few times a week is not sex addiction by the way. Sex addiction is a serious threat to your health and well being while you randomly sleep with anyone or everyone or you masturbate so much your privates bleed.
I always fall into masturbation or pre marital sex. I can make it a couple weeks sometimes, but at the end of the day I fall when life gets tough and the only comfort I am able to have is from either of the above. Then I feel guilty and wait to go to confession again.
I have just stopped going to communion and will probably so so until I’m married. It doesn’t mean I have let the cat out of the bag surrounding my desires. I still give an honest effort. But unlike you I refuse to let myself be wracked with guilt over this or to act like I am blatantly giving God the middle finger because I am not. I’m convinced I could probably still go to communion when I “slip” but I’m not going to. And just so you know masturbation is not “always” a mortal sin. Other factors are taken into account as well and this is coming from the chetechism
I always fall into masturbation or pre marital sex. I can make it a couple weeks sometimes, but at the end of the day I fall when life gets tough and the only comfort I am able to have is from either of the above. Then I feel guilty and wait to go to confession again.
I have just stopped going to communion and will probably so so until I’m married. It doesn’t mean I have let the cat out of the bag surrounding my desires. I still give an honest effort. But unlike you I refuse to let myself be wracked with guilt over this or to act like I am blatantly giving God the middle finger because I am not. I’m convinced I could probably still go to communion when I “slip” but I’m not going to. And just so you know masturbation is not “always” a mortal sin. Other factors are taken into account as well and this is coming from the chetechism
P
Polluted
Guest
**
You guys want to talk about prayer? I lay in bed last night pounding my chest to point of bruising myself, begging god with tears and fists of rage: “Jesus let me be chaste. (whack) Jesus let me be chaste. (whack) Jesus let me be chaste…(whack)…” I don’t care how much pain I have to cause myself… if it results in me not submitting to these desires, I’ll endure it… I’ll beat my body to a bloody pulp if I have to!**
Bro you need to stop this. This isnt about sex anymore this is about scrupulous behavior and this proves it. You should not be reduced to tears over your “faith” or physically hurting yourself because you are that frustrated. What you have is a serious form of OCD. You are obsessing and need to stop. It’s easier said than done but is possible.
You are a sinful human like the rest of us. It’s hard to believe especially at Catholic answers where everyone has always got their most righteous face on and is in perfect alignment with the church (end sarcasm)…but you NEED to stop.
Your mindset right now is either going to end in a serious mental illness or you outright rejecting Catholocism and religion as a whole. Instead of beating yourself up you need to accept who you are and make a decision from there.
At the same time though stop being so dramatic. The Church isn’t asking you to cut off your arms or to even repress your sex drive. The practicing of chastity isn’t just Catholocism ya know. Other cultures and spiritual practices do the same on some level or another. Either way though mellow out. “If it’s heaven swell if it’s hell o well” as long as you are trying or at the very least recognize that your behavior isn’t helping you.
You guys want to talk about prayer? I lay in bed last night pounding my chest to point of bruising myself, begging god with tears and fists of rage: “Jesus let me be chaste. (whack) Jesus let me be chaste. (whack) Jesus let me be chaste…(whack)…” I don’t care how much pain I have to cause myself… if it results in me not submitting to these desires, I’ll endure it… I’ll beat my body to a bloody pulp if I have to!**
Bro you need to stop this. This isnt about sex anymore this is about scrupulous behavior and this proves it. You should not be reduced to tears over your “faith” or physically hurting yourself because you are that frustrated. What you have is a serious form of OCD. You are obsessing and need to stop. It’s easier said than done but is possible.
You are a sinful human like the rest of us. It’s hard to believe especially at Catholic answers where everyone has always got their most righteous face on and is in perfect alignment with the church (end sarcasm)…but you NEED to stop.
Your mindset right now is either going to end in a serious mental illness or you outright rejecting Catholocism and religion as a whole. Instead of beating yourself up you need to accept who you are and make a decision from there.
At the same time though stop being so dramatic. The Church isn’t asking you to cut off your arms or to even repress your sex drive. The practicing of chastity isn’t just Catholocism ya know. Other cultures and spiritual practices do the same on some level or another. Either way though mellow out. “If it’s heaven swell if it’s hell o well” as long as you are trying or at the very least recognize that your behavior isn’t helping you.
M
Mark86
Guest
I definitely assure you… I knew I was a sex addict even before I became Christian. It was that blatantly obvious. I don’t want to scandalize people too much here, but I have a tendency to “commit impurity with myself” sometimes in these 7-hour-long sessions, multiple times a day… going without sleep and sometimes even ending up late for work as a result. It got to the point where I’d be in pain… terrible, excruciating pain afterwards. I developed Prostatitis… because I did that so much that I got scar tissue on my prostate that got infected and caused it to inflame… giving me basically all the symptoms of BPH at the age of 25… I went to a urologist for it and the first thing he asked me was “do you masturbate?” Even the secular doctor was telling me to “cut down on it.” That’s when I knew I had a problem. I have bled before too.
I never go to Communion either. I can’t disrespect who is on that altar. The devil comes and says “oh go on… you can just confess it later… oh, you’re an addict, God will understand…” I actually find it to be more pious to abstain from taking Communion as a sex addict… because then at least I can say “I respect the fact that Christ is really there… that this isn’t just some play…” I may be the chief of all sinners in my private life, but I can’t publicly pretend like I’m worthy of Communion at the same time. It’s one or the other. I know I’ve broken his laws, God knows I’ve broken his laws… all sin is public sin… my sin becomes publicly known when I’m left back in the pew. That’s how it goes. I don’t have a problem with that.
I just wish it didn’t have to be all the time. I’m certainly not giving God the “middle finger”… I do everything else a Catholic should do… I go to Mass, I pray, I read scripture, I do acts of penance… I’m not perfect at it, but nobody is… I go to confession and make honest efforts to overcome sin and temptation… but I just can’t take Communion because there’s something biochemically wrong with me, and I’m just never able to take it… mortal sin is just a constant state of affairs for me, no matter what I do… and all because of this one sin.
P
Polluted
Guest
Interesting. Well if that’s the depth of your spiritual practice as a Catholic so be it! It’s still pretty deep. But if you truly are a sex addict you might not be commuting mortal sins bro. Hell Catholic Radio the other day had a lady call who was still abusing opiates as an addict and both her priest and the talk show hosts said that’s perfectly fine!
I’m not suggesting you can do the same without spiritual direction from a priest. But also look up scrupulous in the dictionary. There is an entire section of this website dedicated to it. There is no reason you should be in tears with guilt over your struggles. The Church isn’t trying to hurt you, just the opposite! I mean you developed physical problems from this “sin”. All the Church teaches is the Gold standard surrounding sex. That it should be between a husband and wife, and since sex creates babies you should obviously be fine with that possibility. It makes perfect sense. Masturbation though hurts someone on some level or another and once again isn’t really apart of the divine plan from the start. God didn’t create Adam to sit in front of a electrical box lusting after random females only to release himself in a sock. He wanted better for him! To have love, be loved, to enjoy the REAL thing and to have a family.
It’s a shame you struggle with this, it really is. But you are not alone and as a “man” you need to handle this like a man. By not reducing yourself to tears over this issue or wracking yourself with unnecessary extra guilt. Some guilt is fine, but not on the level you are at. Life is gonna get allot more intense and challenging in other areas I promise you. If the bare minimum that happens is you refrain from Christ’s blood and body (after speaking with a priest about possible scrupulous thoughts and behaviors), and you realize that masturbation isn’t “helping” you nor is it this beautiful thing the secular world wants to preach…great! At least you are not disrespecting Christ nor are you preaching a message contrary to Church teaching.
The other day two young men I saw were standing after the priest was preparing the ministry to pass out the Eucharist. Then everyone who couldn’t go up (which is allot in a spanish mass) sat back down. I noticed one of the young men sit back down while the other stood. His buddy looked at him with this smirk like “Bro!!! What did you do!!!” While he laughed a little and was obviously not proud of it, but remained seated. How much more so does God wholeheartedly accept and admire such people. Who at the very least realize their sin and have the courage to sit down in a room with hundreds and hundreds of people knowing that they are unworthy to receive and respect the sacrament as such.
M
Mark86
Guest
I agree with everything you’ve said here. I just wish there was a way I could “lust” for God. It’s funny because whenever I read something (and trust me, I do a lot of spiritual reading) … that even remotely AFFIRMS or hints at some kind of divine affirmation of my desires… I feel a deep consolation, a deep love for God that surpasses all the despair that I have. There’s a sense like… God’s laws are God’s laws no matter what I do, and that sounds all very sad and infringing… BUT at the same time, what God has ordained (the affirmation of my desires, and therefore my ultimate fulfillment) is also what God has ordained, no matter what I do or think to the contrary. It’s one thing to hear “no” from your father, time and time again… it’s quite another thing when he finally says “yes!”
For example, I was reading a book a while back called “Seven Longings of the Human Heart” … and when it talked about how God desires us to have an “intimacy without shame” … tears of joy came to my eyes… because all I know about these “feelings” is how they bring shame upon me… I’ve never experienced being able to feel these feelings and actually hear God in heaven going “yes!” in response to them. To actually, for once in my life be able to be a human being and actually have God “approve” of it would be something indeed! The book described how, once we give up the “pleasure-seeking” … we position ourselves to receive the more abundant pleasures that God wills us to feel… THEN, we can actually feel those pleasures in every aspect of our humanity, knowing that God ordains them, and not only ordains them as some kind of “quid pro quo”, but actually sanctifies us with them. Imagine that! The idea that not only are we meant to feel pleasure, but actually be sanctified by it! I was in tears of joy over this.
That must be what married couples are meant to experience in the sexual act. They say the sexual act between husband and wife becomes not just an act of two creatures, but an act of God as well… it becomes a Sacramental act. That’s awesome! The idea that sex is a good thing? Wow! Seriously? Wow. Mind blowing stuff. The fact that God may actually approve of something for once, rather than just being the “Big NO in the Sky”? Wow! Seriously? Wow.
The problem with all that is, I’m not married. And it’s doubtful I ever will be. I just wish I could have with God what I’m not able to have with His creatures… I listen to love songs on the radio and every one of them sounds like me pining for God’s love and God pining for mine. When Bruce Springsteen sings… “Lying in the heat of the night… like prisoners all our lives… I get shivers down my spine and girl all I wanna do is hoooold you tight… I swear I’d drive all night…” (Drive All Night) I swear, that’s me saying that to God, and God saying that back. I curl on my pillow and just put myself in the place of St. John pressed against His breast.
It’s all I have.
I’d drive all night for it.
T
Teabag
Guest
Waw!! You are suffering.
You are quite young and i have to say i was very very lustful at your age! Lots of men do the same things. Its inbuilt into the male species! I am much older now and i have calmed down MASSIVELY in that department!! And let me tell you, being married makes no difference in how a man has these urges etc! Not every couple are intimate and then the man finds the other way for relief!
Yes, it is a sin. This is where self control comes in. This is where self control often FAILS!.
It is no easy feat to turn against a natural urge. And even harder to turn against a totally out of control natural urge!
I have been there, done it, and got the T-shirt!
I have done worse things too buddy! Believe you me!
But, i thank God for Confession and Prayer and Guilt. Yes, guilt. Because, without guilt we we would not care about upsetting God.
Look, God knows what you are going through. He knows what is going on in your heart, your soul, you mind and body. HE KNOWS YOU! He understands 100%. You may not believe this but he is helping you! How? What are you doing here? You are seeking help. You are in deep remorse. You are eating yourself up over the matter!
God is with you, guiding you, bit by bit. You fall, he picks you up. You fall again, he picks you up. You fall a million times. He picks you up a million times!
God is MERCY. God knows how weak we all are. Some are weaker in different areas. God knows how far each of us can go.
The year of Mercy starts soon. Please, buy Saint Faustinas Diary and start reading it. Learn about the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and say it every day.
ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm
You are trying so hard to help yourself and God can see that. Now, turn to God and pray the Divine Mercy prayer. It will help you as God is listening and wants to heal you.
God bless
You are quite young and i have to say i was very very lustful at your age! Lots of men do the same things. Its inbuilt into the male species! I am much older now and i have calmed down MASSIVELY in that department!! And let me tell you, being married makes no difference in how a man has these urges etc! Not every couple are intimate and then the man finds the other way for relief!
Yes, it is a sin. This is where self control comes in. This is where self control often FAILS!.
It is no easy feat to turn against a natural urge. And even harder to turn against a totally out of control natural urge!
I have been there, done it, and got the T-shirt!
I have done worse things too buddy! Believe you me!
But, i thank God for Confession and Prayer and Guilt. Yes, guilt. Because, without guilt we we would not care about upsetting God.
Look, God knows what you are going through. He knows what is going on in your heart, your soul, you mind and body. HE KNOWS YOU! He understands 100%. You may not believe this but he is helping you! How? What are you doing here? You are seeking help. You are in deep remorse. You are eating yourself up over the matter!
God is with you, guiding you, bit by bit. You fall, he picks you up. You fall again, he picks you up. You fall a million times. He picks you up a million times!
God is MERCY. God knows how weak we all are. Some are weaker in different areas. God knows how far each of us can go.
The year of Mercy starts soon. Please, buy Saint Faustinas Diary and start reading it. Learn about the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and say it every day.
ewtn.com/Devotionals/mercy/dmmap.htm
You are trying so hard to help yourself and God can see that. Now, turn to God and pray the Divine Mercy prayer. It will help you as God is listening and wants to heal you.
God bless
- Status